The Fire In Your Eyes
by Darksouls18
Summary: My father got engaged to Sue Clearwater, we moved to La Push, we don't belong here. I'm nothing but murder and destruction, i'm not meant to love and i sure as hell wasn't supposed to fall for my step sister, Leah. Denying my dark nature was hard enough, now we've got bigger problems and it's getting harder to hide the truth. But I'm not the only one harboring secrets. Dark themes!
1. I'm Not Red Riding Hood

I wasn't thrilled when my father had begun dating Sue Clearwater from the Quileute Tribe, even less happy about it when they got engaged. Now here I was standing in my newly decorated bedroom, my father's way of making up for forcing me away from my old home, that and a new wardrobe.

Someone knocked on the door, I glanced up, seeing Seth standing there a little awkwardly. "Um, dinners ready."

"Oh. Great," I said slightly sarcastically.

He hesitated, and then entered the room. Here we go, I thought amused. "Look, I know your not totally happy about your dad getting re-married and probably even less happy about moving, but La Push isn't that bad."

I was amount to make a smart remark when something caught my attention, "why aren't you wearing a shirt?"

He got a confused look, and even felt the need to look down. "Um, it's hot?"

"I'm sure," I said shaking my head, "whatever, what's for dinner?"

"Fish, I think, Billy and Jake are here," I had no idea who that was. "Family friends," he said at my frown and I nodded.

"Why you dressed like that?" Leah asked, a sort of disbelieving look on her face when we walked into the dining room.

I was wearing my usual running gear. Very short spandex shorts and a black training bra along with my headphones and ipod attached to the top of my shoulder. The clothes clung to my body so well it looked like it was part of my skin and the material was thin too, making it easy to breathe. Not that it was ever an issue, just a precaution.

"Your running without me?!" my brother, Caleb said in disbelief.

"I was going to ask you if you wanted to come, you know, canvass the area," I said shrugging.

"Awesome! New fucking territory," he said grinning widely and standing from the dinner table.

"You run?" Sue asked, surprised.

"They're free runners, it was this big gang thing, one of the reasons we moved here," my dad said giving us a pointed stare. I tried not to glare.

"Gang thing my ass," Caleb said moving past me and up the stairs. Seth went to sit next to his sister at the table.

"You wont be going into the woods, will you?" Leah asked next, both her and Seth sharing a worried look.

"Why?" I asked tying my hair up.

"It's really dangerous out there, you shouldn't-," I cut off Sue abruptly.

"The whole worlds dangerous, and quite frankly I've taken on more then you could imagine. So I'm not too concerned about some blood thirsty version of winnie the pooh running around," it came out kind of harsh but I didn't care. The rest of the table did though.

"We talked about this Kira, drop the attitude or you wont be going anywhere," my father said giving me a hard look. Leah and Seth were glaring at me darkly.

I just made a dismissive gesture and popped a cucumber in my mouth before drinking a glass of water.

"Still, there's a pack of wild animals killing campers, you shouldn't go into the woods," Leah said in a clipped stern tone.

"I'm not red riding hood, I can handle myself," I said as my brother reappeared at my side, dressed in nothing but shorts and running shoes.

"You shouldn't go out there," Seth said standing, rocking the table because of how quickly he'd stood. "At least let me show you the safest routes."

Caleb gave me a confused look and I shrugged. I didn't know what there problem was. "I said canvass the area. We go where we please."

"What are you standing around arguing for, let's go," Caleb said, grabbing my arm and tugging me out of the front door excitedly.

We both turned on our music, and stretched as we walked down the driveway and I bounced a little. I did a few flips to start channeling my weight and center of gravity. I did a back flip and then a hand stand, before putting one arm behind my back during the hand stand and then forced my body into the air and landed about ten feet away in a slight crouch. Caleb had mimicked my movements.

"You know It never occurred to me that we could be acrobats," I said loudly over the pounding music. He read my lips and grinned.

We stood side by side before we took a running start. He ran for the woods, but I didn't wait a second before throwing myself towards the closest branch and flying forward.

We must've moved like that for over an hour. We'd even thrown ourselves off of a cliff and when we swam back out we just went right back into the woods. Twenty minutes after we got out of the water, I had the oddest sensation.

I paused, and a second later Caleb flew into me from behind, sending us sprawling to the forest floor. I pulled my headphones out and then stood up slowly. "You feel that?" I asked him frowning.

He was silent as he stood up. We'd been quiet the entire run, nothing ever heard us, not even animals. "Yeah," I turned in a circle and he did the same. "I don't hear anything."

"Me neither, let's backtrack and get back to La Push."

"Sounds good," I said shoving the head phones under the bra line and he pocketed his as we began running back home, this time on foot. We generally liked to trust our intuition because it was always right, music would make us easy targets. I dont think eithe of us expected anything to be out here though.

We got to a small clearing when something barreled into me from behind. "Son of a-," I hit the tree on an angle and then hit the ground. Caleb grabbed me and pulled me into him hard as the fast moving person met ground at the next lunge. We moved for the other end of the clearing when I heard loud howls. We shared uneasy looks.

They cut us off. No, they didn't cut us off. There was someone else with him. Both of us stood back to back and I stood with my hands open in front of me in defense. He probably stood the same way, we had the same training.

They rushed us and I flipped into the air, getting them in the face and then much to my surprise, Caleb grabbed my wrist and spun me hard and I kicked the other attacker, this time from left to right rather then up from the ground. I landed with my back turned and I didn't wait before both of us were running, side by side.

A wolf came flying through the trees and both of us dropped, sliding on the ground as they flew straight over us. As the wolf made it over us, we came to a stand before we even finished sliding and continued running.

"Wait," I breathed suddenly and then turned as two other wolves entered the clearing. I could only stare at the small silver one. It was still huge, but it appeared to be the smallest of the three. She was staring at me too. She was beautiful, this wolf. The streaks of dark grey, and the light glittering silver tips. The moment was short, seconds, before my brother had grasped my hand and turned my attention to running.

We got to the house shortly after that, we knew this side of the woods well enough so finding our way didn't take long. We were walking down the road when a cruiser pulled over. "Great, now were going to get arrested," he muttered beside me and I glared at the cruiser.

A tall native guy got out. "You shouldn't be out here so late."

"it's eleven o'clock," I said in disbelief.

"There's a curfew," he said next, glancing from my brother to me. "Why don't I give you a ride home."

"We'll walk," I said coldly, moving past him.

"I insist," he said next, grabbing my wrist as I passed him. Caleb moved instantly, separating us and putting himself between us.

"Don't touch her," he said, a cold almost possessive tone in his voice. I grinned.

"My apologies, I didn't mean to upset you or make you feel uncomfortable. It's just not safe in these parts," he said, mostly surprised with Caleb's sudden movement.

"Leave us alone and I wont call your superior and report you for harassment," Caleb said next, backing up a step and wrapping an arm around me to guide us away. The cop left.

"Little much, wasn't it?" I said in amusement.

"You know why I'm like that," he said in an even tone. I did know.

"Caleb, were not in the city anymore. Relax," he didn't relax until we got home.

I couldn't blame him much though. He was protective, they all were. We'd gotten into so much trouble with the law, that they didn't mind hurting us. They thought they'd break us by hurting us, myself the most, only because I was the girl, and the youngest. They thought I was the weak spot, and my friends had made it more then clear that I was very important to them by displays of violence bordering on brutality. A lot of the time it came off as possessive and territorial. So cops exploited the knowledge they had and it ended horribly one night when I got arrested. Someone ended up dead and I ended up in the ICU for a week, not a pleasant memory.

We got home to find several people at the house, Jake, as well as several people I didn't recognize. They were all talking heatedly in the living room, and dad was nowhere to be seen. His car was in the driveway and his shoes were here, so I assumed he was asleep.

"Are you okay?" Sue asked, rushing towards us.

"Yeah, why?" I asked frowning.

"Nothing, you were gone a long time," she said slowly, gaze flickering between us.

"Did anything interesting happen?" an older boy asked, almost knowingly.

"You mean aside from coming home to our new step mother and a bunch of shirtless dudes?" Caleb sneered. I guess he was still worked up, he really hated police. They just kind of made me nervous

None of them knew how to respond, I took the chance to go upstairs. Caleb followed.

"I call shower first!" I said suddenly, racing up the last few stairs. Caleb grabbed my ankle and I went flying forward into the last three. "Ow! Asshole."

"I get the first shower!" he said, rushing past me.

"The hell you do!" I said running after him and tackling him. We knocked over a table and after a steady wrestling match I managed to get the through the door and have it locked before him. "Ha, I win!"

I heard him swear at me on the other side and just grinned triumphantly before turning up the cold water. I liked cool showers rather then warm ones. Halfway through the shower Caleb had picked the lock, shut of the light and flushed the toilet, and left the water running. I swore at him heavily and he just laughed.

I crashed hard after that.

Someone was knocking on my door, "get up, you have school," my dad said leaving the door wide open.

"School?" I muttered so out of i had no idea what that even meant. Stumbling out of the bed and looking out the window. I jumped when i heard Caleb shout and swear and assumed Dad had just woken him up as well. It wasnt sunny but i hadn't expected any sun. It was Washington afterall. I

I went downstairs, everyone was awake and eating breakfast.

"Morning," I greeted, and everyone gave me a funny look. Maybe because I was wearing nothing but a tight purple spaghetti strap tank top and black lace panties. Caleb appeared in nothing but boxers. It was normal attire for us, and the only time our father had ever objected was when i had been thirteen and had some guy friend over. Either way when he'd made a pass at me Caleb flipped, gave him a bloody nose and kicked him out in the middle of the night.

I got my morning coffee and then just leaned against the counter. "So your school, what's it like?" I asked, Seth, once he'd come out of his surprise.

"You guys stroll around your house naked?" Sue asked, clearly disturbed.

"It's habit, we don't like to wear clothes," my brother said giving her a weird look, "though I didn't think you'd mind, what with your shirtless parties."

"Is that going to bother you?" I asked her eyebrows raised.

"Um, I guess not," she said uncertain and then left the room. Caleb and I shared amused looks.

"Why you guys like that, is it that gang thing Wade told us about?" Leah asked, looking anywhere but me for some reason.

"What exactly did he tell you?" I asked frowning, then turning to add sugar to my cup. I felt a gaze on me as I stirred it and when I glanced back I realized it was Leah staring at me. When she realized I caught her, she looked away quickly.

"Just said you guys are in a gang. A few arrests, you were almost sentenced to fifteen years in prison," Leah said next, to Caleb.

"Well that parts true," I said rolling my eyes a little, grinning slightly. That had been my fault in part. After everything had gone down and i spent a week in ICU, when i finally woke up and told my brothers what had happened, they were all pissed and it ended badly for everyone. All of us got arrested and Caleb was more or less caught red handed killing someone.

"What did you do?" Seth asked, watching him closely. He had a guarded almost murderous look on his face, probably remembering just what it was that almost got him life in prison.

"It doesn't matter," I said next, "our father over exaggerates sometimes. We were close friends, just because the rest of the world perceives us as gang members doesn't necessarily mean we are."

"Sorry," he said frowning, looking more and more curious.

"You should get ready, school starts in an hour," Leah said next, standing and quickly exiting the room. A moment later I heard the door open and close.

"What does your sister do all day?" I asked Seth next, she didn't take a car wherever she went. But I didn't feel her presence anymore.

"She works at the bar," he said shrugging. That wasn't what I had wanted to know, but I let it go. I felt like there was something in the room I couldn't quite put my finger on and Leah and Seth had the answer. It came and went when they were here. I also got the feeling Sue knew all about it. Which left the question, did dad?

Leah was twenty two, and she was quite beautiful in my opinion. It was her like brown skin, those sort of sad eyes that made me want to keep looking into them. Which is why I avoided about thinking about her. The girl was my sister, sister by marriage, but sister nonetheless.

Seth was my age and thankfully I had him for both first, second and forth period. Sadly, Caleb was eighteen and after this year the plan was to move out together. Probably back home to the others.

I missed my friends. I missed Adrian's always calm serious attitude, those smiles that seemed so rare you spent time trying to make him smile. Or Jace's endless understanding, as if you were talking to yourself, and nothing ever surprised him. Or David's need for constant adventure, I'd probably gotten into more trouble with him then anyone else. Brandon, the one who probably rivaled Caleb's own brotherly role, though they didn't see eye to eye about things a lot. Caleb liked to have fun all the time, where Brandon felt the need to watch me whenever crazy crap went down and it did, a lot.

Our first class was science and I got him right beside me. People casting weird looks at us too, and whispering. Seth looked very uncomfortable. "What's wrong?" I asked, leaning back in the seat.

He hesitated, and then someone else glanced back at us and whispered to their lab partner. "They're looking at you, not me. My friends and I, we don't hang out with people who aren't friends with us and they know your not," he hesitated again, "like us."

"Like you?" I repeated skeptically. He nodded and then the teacher entered the room.

"So we have a new student today, why don't you introduce yourself Mrs. Elliot?" I stayed where I was.

"You just did," he frowned, not expecting the attitude I guess, Seth didn't look to surprised though.

"Tell us about yourself, what do you do in your spare time?"

"What would be the fun of that, I like a little mystery in life, don't you?" I retorted amused.

"If you don't want to share just say so," he snapped irritably.

"Was I too obvious?" I shot back grinning now. Everyone looked surprised with the way I was talking. But I guess it's not everyday a new student shows up, let alone one that enjoys pissing off her teachers.

Second period was about the same way, before I finally escaped and Seth guided me to the cafeteria. A few people had said 'hi' and I made it clear that I didn't want to cozy up with a bunch of normal average kids. By the sounds of it, they all got the picture quickly. They were giving me almost suspicious looks, like I was suddenly part of the weird exclusive group of boys Seth was involved with.

"Did you want to sit with us?" Seth asked, glancing at the table of unusually buff kids. Unsurprisingly, they were the shirtless kids from last night.

"I guess," I said, not seeing my brother anywhere.

We moved through the line up of people and I stuck to the fruit and water, before someone approached us. I didn't recognize him and he seemed to be about Caleb's age.

"Hey, Kira, right?" he guessed, giving me a crooked flirty grin.

"Yes," I said, backing up when he took a step closer. Even Seth noticed the movement. But really it was for the kids own safety. At the end of both first and second I'd been asked out and I'd shot them both down, but I hadn't reacted like this. It was because of Caleb, I couldn't see him anywhere and he could be anywhere. He would flip on this kid.

"I was thinking, if you don't have anyone to show you around, maybe I could," he reached up, but he never got the chance to do whatever he had planned too. Caleb's hand wrapped around his wrist, freezing everyone around us.

"Get lost," he said coldly, dropping his hand in a sort of harsh way and angling his body between us a little.

"Caleb," I hissed, grabbing his arm and tugging him towards me a little. He didn't take his stare off the kid and I was a little worried. Then I pulled again and spoke into his ear so only he could hear. "Leave the kid alone, he didn't even touch me."

"He was about to," he retorted, giving me a look.

"But he didn't. This isn't like home Caleb, you can't attack random's, they don't know us," I said shaking my head. His expression didn't change. "We don't need to start problems here. There's two of us, not six. We can't change the rules like we did back home and they wont understand anything."

He eyed me for a moment and then nodded reluctantly. Seth was just starting at us weirdly now. "Did you still want to eat with us?" he asked, uncertain.

"Sure," Caleb said, glancing at me.

We moved to the table of kids I'd suspected we would end up at, and we took the two empty seats. They looked a little confused as we sat down and Seth just grinned and introduced everyone. "So why haven't you made any friends yet? Sounds like your pretty popular," Jake said giving me a small smile to show he was teasing me.

"People don't really understand the way Caleb and I are, things could escalate very quickly, that's all," I said shrugging.

"Yeah, it looked like it, I thought he was about to rip Matt in half," Jared said in disbelief.

"Pretty over protective," Brady added.

Caleb and I shared looks and he just shook his head and looked away and around the rest of the cafeteria. I sighed.

"Something happened a while back, actually quite a bit happened. I got hurt because of people we thought were harmless and sufficed to say Caleb never got over it," I explained.

"What happened?" Jared asked frowning.

"I'm not going into details with strangers, as I said, I got hurt a few times. But it's over and done with," I said shrugging, opening the water and taking a long drink.

"Other then the free running, what do you guys do for fun?" Colin asked curiously. Everyone having dropped the questions about our slightly painful history. I didn't ask how he knew I was a free runner. Seth had been by my side all morning.

"Random stuff. Archery, camping, hiking, rock climbing. We like nature, have since we were kids," I said dismissively. We did plenty. Usually ending with gaming out for an hour before crashing.

"Where's your mom?" Brady asked suddenly, and everyone turned to him and he blushed.

"She's out of the picture for the moment," Caleb said evenly. I just took another drink of the water, letting the beads calm my now aching heart. I hated thinking about our mother.

She was gone. Gone, gone. Gone crazy even. Hell we didn't even know where she was. In fact, her disappearance is what brought me to Brandon and the others. I forced the last memory of her from my mind. It only upset me, sometimes even pissed me off. Caleb just down right hated her.

We talked quietly, giving them vague answers when they asked questions about us or our previous life. Jake seemed to like me well enough.

"So what's with the tattoo's?" Seth asked me when I exited the girls change room. We had gym together as fourth period. This time I wore basketball shorts for the class, along with one of the training bras. Everyone else was in similar clothing and the teacher tossed me a thin short tank top to put over it. Gym logo I guess.

"What do you mean?" I asked frowning. I had two tattoo's, one was a set of angel wings down my back, with white and silver in them. They were huge and covered up most of my back, and they were well detailed, looking a little ruffled but not too much. All six of us had a sort of crest tattooed over our hearts. A half crescent moon, and a sun, attached by a small star with six points for each of us. It was all pressed close together, and both the sun and moon had an inscription and symbols in it.

"The wings suit me," was all I said in response to his curious stare.

"They look good," he said a little hesitantly. I bumped his shoulder and smiled at him.

"I know, that's why I got them," he just rolled his eyes.

"Do you play a lot of sports?" he asked next, the teacher splitting us up into groups. Thankfully, and for my benefit, he put Seth and I in a group together.

"We did when we were younger, we found a better sport and the school kind of frowned upon it. Too dangerous," I said shrugging, as we moved to the other three team players. We were doing some kind of track and field thing.

"Were just up against other teams," a brunette girl explained at my confused look, "i'm hailey, by the way."

"Kira."

We won the little competition. By a long shot. I even held back a little when I realized how pissed off everyone was getting about it. I hadn't really even noticed. "Will you be trying out for any of the teams?" the coach asked me at the end of class.

"Possibly. My brother and I don't normally join these kinds of things," I said truthfully. Practices meant being away from the others and Caleb liked to stay close. Watching me hit a ball or run around wasn't exactly his idea of a good time. And with other hormonal teenagers all of us jostling aggressively just put him on edge.

"You have a good arm, fast too, I was impressed, you should think about joining. We have rugby, volleyball and basketball coming up, you should try out, you'd be a great asset," _like i didn't know that already_, i thought smugly.

I felt someone come up towards us and glanced over my shoulder to see Caleb, he looked uneasy. I moved towards him and someone touched my arm, I glanced back to the coach. "Just think about it," the coach said, giving me a smile.

"Sure thing," I rushed to meet Caleb before he got too close to us.

"Come on, this place is driving me nuts," he muttered, casting a quick glance back at the coach and then guiding us to the parking lot.


	2. Don't Hold Back

People still stared, for the next few days they stared. I didn't like it. At least back home when they realized who I was they'd quickly avert their gaze. Seth's friends seemed to like me more and more. I wasn't too sure why though. I think it was the third night we'd been here that had done it. Much his friends dismay, Seth invited Caleb and I to join them at a friends house for the evening. We agreed, mostly because my brother and I had given each other the wrong signal. I wanted to go and he was signalling that he didn't and yeah, he got roped into going because I was.

It was also raining too that night, and it was pouring by the time we finally got to Sam's house. We noticed the cruiser instantly and Seth noticed our staring. "Sam's a cop, he didn't mean to freak you out before," I frowned, the cop that we'd come across the first night we'd been here? I suppose that shouldn't have surprised me all that much, it was a small town afterall.

We moved into the house and Caleb was practically trying to melt himself into me or something. I gave him an irritated look and he gave me one back, as if it were my fault the guy was a cop. I went inside after Seth and everyone paused when they noticed us.

"I find it a little odd that you guys hang out half naked all the time," I said amused, my mind following the gay sex cult track at the moment. It made some sense. They didn't hang out with other people. They were rude when others didn't get the picture or backed off and they spent all their time together, shirtless. I dont know how many times one of them showed up in nothing but ripped up shorts and running shoes.

Of course, that was similar to my family and myself, though we had good reason to act this way. Caleb was worried that without the others we were twice as vulnerable and three times more likely to be found and attacked. We also wore expensive gear, not ripped clothes. I was beginning to really wonder what was going on.

"You didn't mention you were bringing friends over," a girl said, and to my surprise, and only deepening my curiosity she had long scars down her face. She moved towards us, and gave me a warm smile. "I'm Emily. The boys have told me so much about you."

"All good I hope," Caleb said sarcastically and I grinned a little.

"I'm sorry about the other night, with Sam, he can get a little carried away, very dedicated to the community," she said next, glancing at Sam who was giving Caleb and I weird stare.

Caleb tensed and I peeked a glance at Sam, everyone was waiting for us to respond so all I said was, "it's fine."

"Are you hungry? I was just in the process of making dinner," she said, and I shook my head.

"We already ate," my brother said evenly, and then Jake and Jared called us over to sit with them. They were playing on the xbox.

I scooped up Jared's controller, surprising him and he glared at me, I just stuck out my tongue childishly and plopped down on the couch. They were sitting on the ground with their backs pressed up against it. They were playing dead space 3.

"You guys are pretty good," i commented, each of us taking turns on the game.

"The best," Jake said cockily.

"The hell you are, i could kick your ass at every video game you put on," i shot smirking a little.

"Except mario cart," Caleb said grinning and i glared at him. I hated that game. I wasn't sure why, but i always just got pissed off, i think it was the characters and i'd get so irritated that Caleb would beat me every time.

"Shut up!" was my brilliant response, "i'd beat you at any game except for mario cart," i said challenging Jake.

"Fifty bucks just to make it interesting," he said, him and Jared sharing a smirk.

"Your on!"

"Dont do it," Caleb cautioned him.

"She's a girl, no way she wins," Jared said amused.

"Your funeral," he said shrugging.

Halfway through the game, Leah showed up, and she looked rather confused when she saw Caleb and I. I blew her a kiss and winked at her and looked at a loss for words, I laughed a little and went back to the game.

At the end of the game, I stood triumphant, "whoo! In your face! Told you, you couldn't beat me! Pay up!" I said to Jake who was glaring at me in sore loser mode.

Caleb just chuckled, "i warned you not to bet against her, she's quite competititve."

Jake just grumbled under his breath about cheating and then pulled out his wallet. "Maybe if you didn't spend so much time running around the woods naked you'd have more practise time," I said smirking as he handed over fifty dollars.

I left the group, feeling Caleb's gaze on me as I left the area and I felt it all the way to table where Emily, Leah and Paul were. I dropped down into the seat across from Leah and smiled at her. "I didn't know you chilled with the nudists of La Push," Paul frowned at that and Leah just smiled a little. Emily and Paul then shared sligtly surprised looks.

"There family, sort of," Leah said next, avoiding the gaze of her 'family' i also noted the cold tone of voice she had as if the word 'family' was poisonous.

"Family can be nice, too bad mines four hours away," I said light heartedly.

"You miss them?" Emily asked sympathetically. "I'm from the Makah reservation, I know the feeling."

Leah got a sort of wounded look at Emily's word and I frowned. Why was that a big deal for her? "Yeah, my dad thought it would give us a chance to get out of the 'gang' life," I said rolling my eyes slightly. I looked at Leah now, wanting to make her smile again I said, "bet he wont be too pleased when he finds out I've joined the ranks of the Quileute Nudist Colony."

She smiled again, and I returned it, leaning back in my seat. "Why is it your dad is so convinced your such a bag kid? Aside from the obvious reasons of course, did he always think that?" Leah asked next, whatever bad memory having faded from her mind.

"Well first Caleb and I began sneaking out of our rooms in the middle of the night. We'd be gone all evening, come home and leave again. Sometimes we wouldn't come home till morning and no matter what he did, he couldn't get us to quit taking off. We'd be gone all weekend and sometimes we'd miss first or last period in classes. We started getting into trouble, got a bad attitude. But we still had our grades up in the high nineties so he wasn't crazy concerned. Until my bust," I said chuckling at the memory.

"What happened?" Paul asked curiously. I wasn't too concerned about saying too much, it's all words and the cases had been dropped anyways.

"Exactly that, I got busted. We were moving around a lot of drugs and I had a bunch of ecstacy and cocaine in the trunk of my car one night. I was supposed to make a drop and someone ratted me out. I got pulled over and arrested, right there," I said shaking my head in disbelief.

"How much did you have?" Emily asked, trying to contain her urge to scold me or something.

"About three kilo's of cocaine and a two hundred pills of ecstacy, got off scott free too. Though my dad was furious with me, had no idea what was going on when they woke him up to come get me at the police station," I said chuckling at the memory.

"How'd you get off so easily?" Paul asked suspiciously.

"Friends in high places. Most people knew better then to touch me after that," I said evenly.

"Did you ever find out who got you busted?" Leah asked thoughtfully.

"Yep," I said, even more amused. The guy cried when we tracked him down. That was pretty funny. "Boy was he surprised to see me on his doorstep."

"What did you do to him?" Seth asked, having overheard in the kitchen and came to sit with us.

"I told him very politely that what he did was rude and he probably shouldn't say such nasty things behind my back," I left out the messier details for their benefit.

"I'm sure," Leah said snorting and rolling her eyes at me.

"Who taught you to free run, you totally kick ass in gym, from the running right?" Seth asked, taking a muffin that Emily set down in the center of the table. Everyone else wrestled to get theirs and I had grabbed two of the biggest ones I saw, a chocolate chip and blueberry, before anyone else could get at them. I handed the bigger one to Leah and she took it greatfully. Everyone was still fighting over them.

They all ate so much, the only one who didn't was Emily, she just looked used to it. Even Seth and Leah ate a lot, and Sue cooked lots of food all the time. The second night we'd been around for dinner and they ate three plates of food. It was ridiculous, and they still had something for desert. I thought it was ironic, considering I hardly ate anything, none of us really ate. No hunger anymore.

I picked at the muffin a little, and when Leah was done I passed it off to her without even looking at her. She smiled to herself, and I couldn't help but feel as though I'd accomplished something great by making her smile just once. Everyone was casting looks at us too. Was she really such a sad person?

Seth was still looking at me expectantly, "our friends back home taught us everything from fighting to free running and everything in between."

"Are they kids?" Leah asked curiously.

"They look and act like kids," I said grinning now, remembering the time David and I got locked in with the family of lions at the zoo in the middle of the night. We'd thought it was a chimpanzee cage. We'd almost gotten ripped to shreds when I fell to the ground and realized they wanted to play with us. That had been such a weird night. "But our oldest friend is twenty two. So no. Caleb and I are the youngest." Adrian was the oldest, not surprisingly. He was the more methodical thorough one of us after all.

"They taught you to fight?" Jake asked, dropping down into the seat next to me, as Jared and Caleb left to go back and play the game. He'd given me a questioning look, asking if I was okay and I gave him a nod and a smile. I'm pretty sure it was mordern warfare I heard from the next room, my brother was obssessed with that game.

"They taught me lots of things, but yes, fighting is one of them," I said nodding slightly.

"Could you show us what you know? I'm curious as to how that would work, being a free runner as well," Jared added.

"Are you asking me to fight you? I hate to say it, but I'd probably kick your ass," I pointed out, they all found this amusing for some reason.

"I hate to say it, but you dont look very strong, you look miniature, your like pocket size," Leah said grinning at me. Everyone at the table was quiet, sharing looks and I just scowled at her playfully.

"I'm stronger then I look, and when I wipe the floor with you steroid induced nudists I will laugh and say 'I told you so'," I said smirking confidently. I heard Caleb shout triumphantly from the next room and my smirk grew.

"Alright, girlie, let's see what you got," Jake said standing, and towering over me. I'll admit, they were all over a foot taller then me. But I had skill and my small size on my side.

"Shall we make it interesting? I bet a hundred dollars I can take three of you down in less then three minutes each," I said next, giving the group and amused look. They still thought this was funny, that I was wrong. They'd made it clear they could fight, so why not show off a bit? I was confident, because I knew I was the best.

"Fine, your on, time to get my money back," Jake said, holding out his hand for me to shake it. I did. "Seth will fight you first, then Paul, then me," he said smirking at me. "See how smug you are when we win."

"Whatever you say," I said grinning and then moving out the door.

"What's happening?" Caleb asked, watching all of us leave the house.

"Were going to fight, you want in?" I asked curiously.

He stood up instantly, glaring, "your not fighting anyone."

"Too late! We already shook hands," I said grinning and then ran out the door before he could get his hands on me.

"Kira, I said no, you can't go run around fighting people anymore, and it's your rule," he shouted following me out of the house.

"It's just a little bet, you can even referee if you want," I said lifting my shirt sweat off and revealing nothing but a thin tank top. I emptied my pockets and Caleb sighed and held out his hands for my stuff. It was still raining lightly and Seth and I got off the porch.

"Be careful Seth," Leah said warningly, a little worried.

"I will," he promised and then we faced off.

"Kira I swear to god if you get all worked up over this, I will kick your ass myself," Caleb called over to us. I flipped him off and someone chuckled.

"Ready?" I asked Seth, both of us grinning.

"Bring it on," he said smirking now.

I decided to stay defensive for the first round, I wanted to gauge his skills, it would give me a better idea of the rest of the group. I moved into my usual defensive stand and he looked thoughtful for a moment.

I hadn't anticipated how fast he was. He rushed me and I side stepped, and he caught my arm as I did so. I raised my other arm and he caught my wrist when I went to hit him. He was strong to, when I couldn't pull my arms free easily I moved just as quickly as he had and kicked his legs out from under him.

He hit the ground and was up and rushing me a second time. He threw his fist out and I twisted slightly and then threw my open palm forward against his right arm, sending it to the left. He twisted and and I grabbed his left arm and twisted it behind his back. I was careful not to break it now and then kicked his legs out from under him and he hit the ground on his knees, letting out a surprising sound.

Everyone was silent, the fight had been less then a minute long and neither of us was trying to hard. "Wait! I want a re-match! She caught me off guard," Seth argued as he got back and we all started laughing.

"Not a chance, my turn," Paul said jumping over the railing and making his way towards me. I stretched a little, taking a deep breath and he didn't even wait for me to exhale before he attacked.

He gone to kick me and I caught his ankle, throwing it up into the air and he flipped backwards, hitting the ground heavily. "Dont be so cocky, your making this too easy," I called to him grinning.

He stood back up quickly, and moved twice as fast as he had before, which was almost three times faster then the fight with Seth had gone. He threw his fist out and I blocked the blow and completely missed him hook his ankle around my leg and pull. I hit the ground and then stared in disbelief. How had he moved so damn fast? "Maybe I should be telling you not to be so cocky," Paul shot at me smirking.

I narrowed my eyes at him, and then flipped back into a stand. We circled slightly and I used the chance to disolve my center of gravity. "Kira that's cheat-," I ignored my brother and this time when Paul lunged for me I threw my body into the air bringing my right foot up first as if I were doing a flip and my left foot got him in the chin perfectly. I'd timed the move perfectly and it send Paul into the air and landing on his back a few feet away. I landed several feet from where I had been with my arms out to either side of me and I let them drop to my side.

Everyone was silent for a minute and I smirked now, "you wanted to see if you could beat a free runner in a fight. I'll give you a fight."

He stood back up, rubbing his throbbing jaw and then glared at me a little. He was getting pissed off. "Fine, I wont hold back."

"Good, I wont have too anymore either," I shot at him smugly.

Again, he caught me off gaurd with his speed. He was on me in a flash. He moved to kick me and I blocked the attack and I moved to punch him. He dodged and I jumped out of the way as he went to kick me again, I didn't have time for a block.

He pounced on me and we hit the ground and I rolled us backwards sending him over my head. I rolled again landing with my palms open on the ground and my right knee pulled to my chest and my left leg straight out behind me.

I laid backwards onto the ground as he jumped on top of me and I pulled my knees to my chest and as he got right on top of me I kicked out and sent him flying backwards. I'd used the kick to send my own body forward following right after him and I landed on top of him standing and I put my foot to his throat not even a second later.

"Damn," someone whispered in awe. I stood back up, holding out my hand for him. He was just staring at me wide eyed and then took it.

He stood up jerkily and out of breath and I turned to the audience. Everyone looked quite impressed. "Your up," I said to Jake.

He glanced at Paul and shrugged. "Good," he said pulling off his shirt and tossing it over his shoulder.

"Kira," Caleb called to me in a warning tone.

"I'm fine," I said giving him an aggitated look.

Jake and I faced off with each other and I rolled my shoulders and stretched a little more. This time Jake moved into a defensive stand.

I moved towards him quickly, and I turned to kick him. He caught my ankle and flipped me. I spun, landing on the ground with my palms out and my body less then a foot off the ground. I dropped rolled as his fist came down into the muddy earth and then kicked out, sending him sprawling to the ground.

I flipped back up and he did the same. We circled for a moment, getting closer to each other and I realized how close we were to the woods. I didn't give away the plan I was forming and this time when he kicked out at me I jumped into the air and caught a low branch. flipped ove it quickly and as he spun to look for me I came back around and pushed my feet together and let go. My feet met his back, sending him flying forward and into another tree.

I hit the ground and he ran for me, I turned and ran towards a tree, moving quickly enough to run up it and flip over him as he neared. I came to a land and he turned in time to block my punch. He side stepped at my next throw and I saw it coming, so I didn't put too much weight into it. I grabbed his arm, twisting it so he had to turn and I shoved him hard.

I jumped back up into the tree, this time landing in a sort of frog like position and then catapulted my body at him. He dropped, flipping me over him and I landed easily enough. He jumped on top of me sending me into the ground roughly and I threw my head back and hit him in the nose.

He fell off of me a little and I twisted my body as he moved to grab my throat. The fight would be over the moment he did so. I knocked his hands out of the way and threw my open palm forward awkwardly, getting him in the nose again and then bucked my hips. He lost his balance and tumbled over me and I jumped on top of him the first chance I got and gripped the back of his head, pulling slightly.

He lost his breath as we paused like that, both of us breathing heavily. I let go, kissing him on the cheek and then stood up unsteadily. Everyone looked totally frozen on spot and I let my head fall back and I put my hands to my hips as I caught my breath.

"That was intense," Jared said wide eyed.

"No shit," Seth mumbled, not as embarassed about losing as he had the first time. I'd assumed Jake was one of their best fighters and it took me less then three minutes to win the sparring match.

I held my hand out to Jake and he accepted it, staring at me with a new found awe. "That was amazing," Leah said when we got back to the porch. I smiled at her, liking the pride she seemed to just radiate for me now.

"You okay?" Caleb asked cautiously, holding my gaze in a concerned sort of way. I frowned, I was fine. We tended to get a little blood thirsty during fights.

"I'm good," I said nodding a little shakily. I had much more control then I used to.

When we'd first learned how to fight and use weapons and free run, we'd gone a little wild. Which is where most of the charges came from. We'd become animals, we were unstoppable and untouchable when we were together. We were vicious and we showed no mercy and often that scared people. Everyone of us had been like that at first, and once we got a grip on ourselves again, it took some time to control the desire for violence. Being the youngest, meant it took the longest for me, they hadn't trained a fourteen year old, and you'd think being a girl would help, but it was the exact opposite.

"Alright, good job," he said, giving me a hug and a kiss on the temple. I smiled at him.

"Your not normal," Paul said, everyone was talking kind of quietly, but i did notice the astonished expressions. Like they couldn't believe it. They all think it was weird, but why? "Thank you Paul, way to win a girl's heart," i said sarcastically.

Caleb tensed a little, and then again, angled his body to be in front of me a little more. "That was impressive," Sam said, addressing me as everyone was still talking in hushed almost excited voices. He looked really troubled for some reason and deep in thought.

"Thanks," I said appreciatively.

"You always fight like that?" he asked next, a thoughtful look on his face.

"Yeah, lots and lots of practise," I said shrugging, and then glanced over to find Leah still watching me, as thoughtfully and with a new found respect.

"Maybe you could teach me some stuff," he said next, glancing at my brothers stony expression and my nervous one.

"No," Caleb said instantly.

Sam didn't seem to know what to say, "perhaps someone else, if you dont want to show me? We could really benefit some your skills."

"Maybe, I'll think about it," I said unsure.

"We should get home, we have catch up to do still," Caleb said taking my hand and guiding me off the porch.

I glanced back and then waved goodbye to Leah, and the others. I could've sworn i heard Jake say something along the lines of, "they cant possibly be human."

"See you at home!" Seth called back to us.


	3. The Wrong Kind Of Chocolate

_You felt the coldness in my eyes,_

_and something I'm not revealing,_

_Though you got used to my disguise,_

_you can't shed this awful feeling,_

_It's the me that I let you know,_

_'cause I never show - I have my reasons,_

_There's blood on my hands,_

_like the blood in you,_

_Some things can't be treated,_

_so don't make me,_

_don't make me be myself around you..._

I went to room to draw for the rest of the night. Caleb had used that excuse last night to avoid going out. So when I got home I decided to leave him alone for a bit. He was pretty wound up. He worried too much. When I'd gotten hurt I had been knew to everything and sure I could take three or four skilled fighters on, but not fighters with guns, that's what had gotten me in the end. I had only been fifteen at the time, and I wasn't done my training. I was more then capable of handling any assailant, but I guess he still harbored some misplaced guilt over the whole thing.

I pulled off my muddy clothes, taking a cool shower and then laid down in bed to draw in nothing but my bra and underwear. I suppose it wasn't wise to constantly be mostly naked, but I always felt way too edgy with so much clothes. I had to be able to move easily and being in my underwear was pretty much the same as being in my gear.

I stared out drawing the silver wolf, the same way she had looked at me when we'd fled the clearing. She seemed odd to me for some reason and I couldn't quite place why. I kept getting the picture wrong, but as far as I could tell it was perfect, but something was off about it. It didn't look the same. This time I'd put in a waterfall in the back, just beyong the treeline.

I moved onto another image, this time it was one of Leah. Of her giving me that half smile that seemed to be reserved for me and no one else. It made me want to lean over and touch her. I made the image to be as though she were sitting on the porch at Emily's house, staring down into a small wild lily, admiring it. I even made it look as though a sort of dust was faling from it, like it was a magical lily or something. I tried to make her smile perfect, but I had a feeling it wasn't doing the real thing any justice. She was just so beautiful when she smiled. I could only imagine how amazing it would be if she gave me a full smile.

Someone tapped on the door, and a feeling of being caught red-handed washed over me and I snapped the book shut. I imagine I had a guilty expression on my face, though for what I wasn't too sure.

It was Leah.

"Hey," she said, uncertain and I sat up, the blankets falling off of me slightly. She stared at me, mouth open slightly as if she hadn't expected me to be so close to naked.

"Sorry, come on in," I said, moving to grab a tank top from the end of the bed.

"What are you up to?" she asked, voice a little thick.

"Just drawing," I said shrugging.

"Can I see?" she asked hopefully, I hesitated.

"Um, sure," I said opening the book, "a lot of them are pretty personal, but I think you'll like this one." I opened it up to the wolf and handed the book over to her.

Her breath caught and her eyes went wide and she was silent for about two minutes. I wasn't sure what to make of her silence. "Do you not like it?" I asked, and for a moment I was disappointed and after the feeling settled over me, confusion followed. Since when do I care if someone else likes my art?

"Your really good," she said quietly. "It's beautiful. Truly."

"Thanks," I said smiling widely, spirits lifting almost instantly, I was glad she liked it. It made a warm feeling settle in me.

"Why did you draw this?" she asked, glancing at me and then bringing her gaze back down to the drawing, now sitting on the bed between us.

"I saw it the other day in the woods when we ran. I haven't been able to get her out of my mind since," I said honestly, watching her thoughtfully.

"You said nothing interesting happened," she said holding my gaze.

"Crazy stuff happens to me all the time, seeing a wolf as beautiful as her was different, but after you guys made such a big deal about dangerous animals, we decided not to say anything," I said indifferently.

We hadn't been sure what to make of our attackers. They were different somehow. We'd never seen people with red eyes before. I just figured they were wearing contacts and cover up. When people attacked us they tended to use disguises and most of the time they didn't leave unharmed or without being discovered. I couldn't exactly mention the ambush either, I mean, we had a lot of enemies and we didn't suspicion being drawn to us.

"You thought the wolf was beautiful?" she asked quietly.

"Of course, dont you?" she glanced down at the picture.

"Yeah, I suppose she is," she said quietly, almost to the point of a whisper.

I touched her arm lightly, "you okay?"

Her gaze snapped to mine and I jumped a little at the sudden movement. "Sorry, just thinking."

"About?" she said nothing, just held my gaze again, asking me something with her eyes. But I couldn't tell what exactly. It was almost as if she was asking me to understand, to give her some kind of sign of something. But I didn't know what she wanted me to tell her. I took her hand, intertwining ours and them smiled at her, hopefully comfortingly. She clearly had something on her mind and by the looks of it, she didn't really have anyone to talk to. "Come on, let's get a snack."

We went downstairs together and I didn't let go of her hand until we got into the kitchen. I suppose it said something that the simple gesture was far more intimate then it should've been, but I'd been aching to touch her since I'd first met her and seen that haunted look in her eyes.

We didn't turn on the lights, just stood side by side taking scoops out of the smartie ice cream from the freezer. I didn't eat much though, just a few spoon fulls, taking my time and after the fifth spoon full I just sat on the counter and stayed there sitting thoughtfully. We stayed in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, and I was all to aware of how close she was to me. I gazed at her thoughtfully, before my eyes fell to the fact that her side was pressed up against my crossed legs dangling off the ledge.

I wasn't like this with other people. It was unusual. But then again I hadn't actually been with anyone in months. Was that why I seemed to be developing feelings for her? She was beautiful, but I mean, she was my sister for Christ's sakes, you'd think it'd just be ingrained in me to see as a sister rather then my latest conquest.

"I should get to bed, school in the morning," I said suddenly, jumping of the counter and going towards the door.

I paused, turning to her, and found her watching me again, with that same thoughtfil contemplative look. "Goodnight Leah."

"Sweet dreams," she said, eyes scanning my own for something I couldn't quite pin point.

The next day I tried out for all the teams the coach had suggested. I made all three, and luckily practises weren't at the same time, and neither were any of the games. I wasn't used to sports, so it took me a while to adjust to all of the rules. I enjoyed the basketball the most, probably because I was able to read people and guess their moves, I was wrong sometimes, but it wasn't hard to keep up with the pace or anything. Seth didn't try out for any of the teams and he just said he didn't like playing competitive sports with other teenagers. I left it alone, only because he said it almost sadly.

The Pack had started kind of acting weird. Not weird so much as cautious. They also couldn't seem to let go of the sparring match we'd had. They'd ask about it constantly and ask how we'd gotten so strong. I'd get annoyed with it and snap at them. Like everyone expected me to be some weak little girl or something. They were wary of us and i noted the way Sam always watched me. Like he was waiting for me to pull out an AK47 out of nowhere or something.

Leah and I almost seemed to dance around each other a lot of the time and we flirted constantly. Though everyone did seem to see it that way, we did. I made her laugh and smile as much as I could only because she was beautiful when she smiled and laughed. I couldn't quite figure out why she was so broken but I didn't ask either. Whenever something hit too close to home, which I noticed was always somehow related to Emily and Sam or their big secret, I'd make her smile.

We'd begun showing Jake as well as Paul and Jared how to fight. We'd do it for about two hours sometime every other night, usually after my practices for school. Caleb and I hadn't had a whole lot of time to run, but we managed to keep running every two days. Everything was great up until Leah and I went shopping three weeks later. It was one of the few times Leah and I were alone and I loved spending time with her like this.

Their was some kind of fair coming up and it was a big thing in Forks so we were getting nice spring dresses for it. Nothing fancy, just something that would look nice for the occasion. It hadn't taken too long to find the dresses. Mine was a strapless navy color, hugging my torso to my navel, and then flaring out a bit. It went a little lower then mid thigh, Leah's was the same length. A black halter top, but the same basic shape as mine.

We still had some time burn so we'd decided to go out for drinks. We had more then a few. It hadn't been a good idea at all. We didn't end up leaving until later on in the evening, and i was sufficiently drunk. Somehow Leah wasn't, well she kind of was. But once her words slurred, about ten minutes later she'd be halfway sober. That was kind of weird, but i shrugged it off, some people just took longer drinking wise.

I stumbled out the doors of the club and the world tilted a little. I'd barely made it outside. The cold air splashed across me, cooling my flushed skin and i moaned at how good it felt. It had been a while since i'd been this drunk. The air had helped at first but i realized it wasn't doing the trick. I whipped out my phone, texting Leah that i was going to the convenience store a few buildings down. My messing was kind of sloppy, and i made obvious errors, but everything looked way too bright. It was sort of dim in the club and it took too long for my eyes to adjust to glow.

I pocketed the phone, not bothering to wait for the reply. Maybe if i got some chips into me it'd soak up the alcohol enough for me to walk straight. A few people glanced at me, amused with my unsteady walking. I didn't really care. Everything seemed to almost twist every now and again. i'd stand straight for a few seconds to regain my focus.

I had misjudged how far the store was, weird that my sight went farther rather then just blurred. As if on cue, my vision lost focus and i blinked, pressing a hand to the wall to catch my breath. A car slowed down a little beside me and i tensed with a gut feeling to run.

I stood back up, the store was closer rather then the club. I cast a subtle glance over my shoulder, or at least what i hoped was subtle and continued walking. Two men sat up in front. I recognized that car, and at least one of the men. Where had i seen them before? I frowned, and then it clicked in, i'd seen that exact red impala outside of the last store we'd gone to. But it was more familiar then that somehow.

Then it dawned on me. These were Gabriel's people. it took me a moment to realize that. Gabriel never bothered us personally, he always sent randoms to do his dirty work, the chances of an attacker besting us in a fight was basically zero unless it was a suicide bombing thing. I'd come back from worse. Not a burning per se, but same bad injuries.

All I had on me was my butterfly blade, and the car was parked halfway down the street in the other direction from the store i'd headed to. I debated how to handle this. I couldn't risk them following me back to Forks and i sure as hell wouldn't bring them anywhere near Leah. it would be far too far to explain. I'd have to take care of this, and quickly. I could handle two people, drunk or not. I wouldn't be able to mute my gravity or any of my usual tricks.

It was impossible to channel energy let alone dissolve it when you have too much alcohol in your system. That's where most of our power came from, controlling the energy patterns, some in the parts of my body i controlled, along with tapping into parts of my mentality. After that learning had come easy.

The grace, the perception and strength, i tapped into it from mere thought, but it took large amounts of concentration. Depending on how much energy you have, the more you have available to use. We dont always use it though, and i'd only used up all of the power i could once. It was too draining to use too much. I could use the blade though, i was just as handy without my stronger inner self or whatever.

I continued walking for five minutes before I got to a park. They followed behind more slowly but still kept tabs on me.

I moved through the trees, keeping the blade open and I was clutching the knife tightly. Knowing Gabriel they'd all have guns, here i was bringing a knife to a gun fight. I had it shoved up the sleeve of my jacket and I was just walking down the path patiently.

I could hear the gravel crunching behind me, the quick foot steps and I counted two men up ahead of me. When did they pass me? Had they gone around the block? They couldn't have they'd have to park and by the time they'd gone around the park itself i'd already be on the other end. Then i heard two more people. Shit, i was trapped, i could run, but again, can't lead them anywhere.

I paused, turning my body sideways as I sized up the four men. They were bulky, which would make it twice as difficult. Still, only one of them was familiar. I was fucking screwed.

"What do you want?" I asked unimpressed with their slow steps towards me, i hadn't been able to keep the obvious slur out of my voice and the world even spun for a second, making me sway. No point pretending not to be drunk, i couldn't pull it off for a million dollars. And they'd probably seen me leave the club.

"Gabriel didn't mention you were a pretty little thing," I froze, eyes going wide as I realized what had just been revealed.

"Maybe it's cause Gabriel's gay, has he come out to mommy and daddy yet?" i said mockingly, gain, words barely forming.

Gabriel hated us, mostly because he was a pretty big player back home and when we wouldn't team up with us, he had us raided and even ambushed us a few times. He always hired other people to do the dirtier things, like murdering me, where it couldn't be traced to him. When the deed was one, he'd kill them, any smart person would. Can't risk blackmail in my world.

"Let me guess, once he got fed up with you mutts licking his hand he decided to send you off to your deaths?" i asked, hoping for bored. I was trying to stall, but i had to keep catching my breath. I couldnt think straight.

"Not ours, pretty pay check with our names on it when we go back. Were going to kill you, but let's have a little fun first," one said and they all rushed me at once. I turned and whipped the blade straight at the closest one. It got them in the leg and they hit the ground, my aim was horrible. I'd spun too fast too, the world tilted and before i even hit the ground i was grabbed.

Someone wrapped their arms around me and I was suddenly unable to use my arms. The fast movements were making me nauseous. I jumped up, and kicked the other guy hard in aiming for the face and only getting half of it when two of him appeared. I managed to get my elbow loose and throw it straight into the person holding.

Someone hit me in the jaw as soon as i got free and the blow sent my already heavy feeling body straight into the ground. There wasn't much pain, just a dull throb, thank you liquid courage. I scrambled back up and one of bulkier ones rushed me. I guess what i did next was cheating, but hey, they had the upperhand. Everything i was doing was sloppy. I was putting too much force into everything and it was knocking me off balance.

I brought my leg up, kicking them in the crotch and I threw my head back, getting them in the face. Someone collided with me, sending both of us sprawling to the ground. My head smashed off of a rather large rock when I hit the ground and my vision blurred for a moment.

I was twisted roughly and someone stepped on both of my wrists when they were grabbed and pulled above my head. I couldn't see straight. Now I was panicking and I couldn't even think clearly for the life of me. I struggled a bit and let out a gasp when the man stepping on my hands put more pressure on me. Then the other guy on top of me began fumbling with the waist band of my jeans.

Then I got kind of mad, I kneed them hard in the back and as they fell forward a little I head butted them. I pulled, ignoring the pain in my grasp and I began to swore loudly. Then another fist connected with the side of my face, "Fuck!" I said glaring at the man, that only made them laugh and I got hit in the other side of the face. I got the odd sweep that something was coming. It was deep in my gut, that i wanted something, the anger was bringing it out. I was just seconds away. My hunger would get me out of this no problem. It would be great, i felt my body tingle excitedly. I could count down the seconds.

I bucked my hips and when my right hand was finally loose I reached forward and punched them as hard as I could. They went flying backwards and I heard someone shout my name. Surprised we all turned to see Leah running down the trail. Less then a second later she was gone and in her face was a huge silver wolf. The feeling evaporated.

Was i roofied? Did that seriously just happen? Sure enough, i was still seeing that giant silver wolf. How had she even found me? I must be hallucinating. it sunk in that i wasn't. And i was, i would wake up in a rubber room.

"Holy shit," I said, bringing everyone out of their shock, and then just kicked upwards, getting the man still stepping on my left hand in the gut. Pain momentarily forgotten, I pulled myself free as she barreled into him and a gun shot went off, I spun to see someone holding a gun on Leah, having momentarily forgotten about me. They shot at her, and I jumped up, falling back on my ass a breath later.

I got up more slowly and carefully and then just threw my body forward and into the chest of the one holding a gun on Leah. We went down, and I grappled with him over the gun on the ground. Hearing another two gun shots I moved even faster, i'll admit poking the guy in the eye to get the gun was a little childish but i did it anyways.

There was a lot of screaming shouting going on, i'd kind of tuned it out. But it had gotten so loud it was too hard to ignore and I assumed Leah had killed one of them based on the sounds.

I got my hands on it completely, both of us sitting up at the same time, he reached for it. I smashed it against the side of his face. Then raised it to his temple and pulled the trigger, blood splattering across my face and body as I did so. I turned and so did Leah, just in time to watch the other man with the gun train the gun on her I pulled the trigger twice just in case i missed, both hit him in the back of the head.

The other guy ran into the woods and I stayed where I was, following the movement and then pulled the trigger three times and he crashed to the ground dead. I just fell back and laid their on the ground panting.

Then I remembered about Leah, I sat up fast, as Leah moved towards me very slowly with her head bent down to the ground. She looked a little scared now and kept looking from me to the ground, uncertain of whether I'd train the gun on her next.

I let it clatter to the ground and she just stared at me fearfully. I let out a heavy breath, not sure of what I was looking at exactly. "Let's go home," I said finally, in what I hoped was an even tone. At least the slur was gone. Once the adrenaline had kicked in, it kept me moving pretty well in my opinion.

She looked sad now, disappointed with my reaction and instead of moving closer or backing up she looked around at the bodies. "Leave them, the police will find their bodies. They're bangers, no one will think we had anything to do with this," I said, hesitating and then began walking down the trail quickly and unevenly. Someone would've heard the gunshots and I wasn't going to be here when the bodies were discovered.

We got close to the entrance and I frowned at her, "I think I have some clothes in the car," I said thoughtfully. She'd ripped her clothes to shreds when she'd morphed into this wolf. "Can you make it to the parking lot without being seen?"

She nodded once and I turned and left. I hadn't meant to sound cold or give her the wrong idea, but i couldn't help it right now. My hands were shaking and it wasn't because of adrenaline, well that may have been a factor, but it wasn't what had made me so off. It was the feeling of being unsatisfied. Like asking someone to buy you your favourite, expensive and rich chocolate and they come back with aero bar. That kind of disappointment, you got what you wanted, but it wasn't up to the level you'd hoped for. I'd killed them but it was a head shot, nothing more.

Leah had just come in at the worst timing. I imagine she'd sniffed me out or something, but i really had hoped she wouldn't follow. In hindsight her distraction saved me. But I had needed an outlet for all the stress and when the opportunity came and passed and all i got was an aero bar. That sucked. Now i was craving something even more. Almost enough to make me regret not telling them what was so wrong with my brother and i, not telling them the truth behind our violence and isolation. It was much deeper then the obvious picture.

We weren't just gang members because of some weird unknown daddy issue, though i'm sure we had plenty issues all the way from childhood abuse to trust. In one form or another at least. The co-dependency didn't help either. But Caleb was my other half, he was all i'd ever needed and now i was one part of a six piece machine. We couldn't function without one another as a group.

Now i was approaching my car with a frustration i couldn't vent about and an urge that couldn't be sated without raising questions. Leah had interrupted. I had been waiting for the fear and rage to finally collide and make me snap. I'd been seconds from it too. My body knew it, every part of me did.

I also wasn't sure what to think about what I'd just seen. I mean, here I was two seconds from being raped and killed, and if I'd gotten pissed off I would've ripped them apart with my bare hands and then Leah appears. How did she even find me? Then again she was this huge silver wolf, one of the wolves we'd come across in the woods. I just sighed, wiping my face and then pulling my hood up.

Most of the alcohol had burned away during the fight and walk here, which was a relief. I was covered in blood, I realized as I got into the car and looked in the mirror. And my face was getting purple and slightly swollen. I had blood sliding down my face from where I'd hit my head, right on the left side of my temple. I had a swollen split lip and two cuts on both cheeks, one right on the cheek bone, both of which were becoming angry red and bruised black. Not to mention my entire jaw was sore and it was bruised as well. My head hurt. My stomach hurt. And I was tired.

I opened the trunk and began digging around for some clothes, eventually finding a tank top and some sweatpants. I looked around for her, and finally caught sight of her down the alley. She looked nervous as hell when I reached her and I just gave her a tired smile, which hurt quite a bit.

"I'm not scared of you Leah," I said honestly, turning away for her to change back. I still felt bad about seeming so cold before, and i could tell i sounded off now too. But it wasn't her fault, i was struggling with something i doubted she'd ever undersand and i would never want her to understand something like this. And it's not like i could tell her.

She tugged on the clothes and I let go, keeping my back to her. "I'm just, surprised I guess."

"Why aren't you, scared i mean?" she asked fumbling over the words, and I figured it was okay to turn around.

"Becuase I know you'd never intentionally hurt me, now lets get out of here," I said, holding out my hand for her. She took my hand, and as I turned to leave the alley she pulled me back and I spun in surprise. She brought her hands up through my hair and pressed her lips to mine.

At first I was frozen, I hadn't expected her to do anything like that and after the last half an hour I'd had way to many surprises. My eyes closed, and I returned the kiss, bringing my hands up to her face to deepen the kiss. I felt my eyebrows furrow, it was painful this kiss. Only because of the continuous throbbing in my face, but Leah just tasted so damn good. Then we heard the sirens.

We pulled apart, both of us panting and I cringed when I saw the blood on her lips. "Sorry," I said lifting my thumb to graze it along her bottom lip.

"It's okay, we should get you home, you look really pale," she commented, giving me a wary smile and then just guided us back to the car.

The drive home was quiet, and my hands were too sore to do much and i spent most of the trip keeping myself in check. It took every ounce of me i had not to do something wild. I'd even put all the weapons into the trunk in case i did something reckless and terrible.

I kept staring at myself in the mirror. All I could think about was what had happened at the police station. It just kept flashing in my mind and it was kind of scaring me. Which was ironic because I was still alive.

"God Caleb's going to be furious," I muttered and then flinched when pain set in my jaw again.

"Why?" she asked confused.

"Nothing," I said shaking my head and just looked out the window as the trees flew by. I was getting nauseous now that the adrenaline had worn off. Not to mention I had a need to kill that hadn't been satisfied. My innerself wanted more then to take three head shots for retribution and now I wanted to rip something apart. I wanted to tear into something with my bare hands so badly that it my body pulse with need and my head hurt.

"We should see Sam and the others, it'll be easier to clean you up without too many questions," she said hesitantly.

"Why Sam's house?" but I already knew the answer to that question. They were all wolves. Well. Mystery solved. They were all wolves and Leah was probably going to tell them that there secret was out. I wasn't worried, but I was getting dizzy and kind of light headed. Maybe I had a concussion. They would explain why my head felt like it was trying to beat up my brain. That thought didn't make much sense, but it fit.

"There going to want to talk to you, we'll keep it short, I promise," she said worriedly.

"Im fine Leah, relax, I've had worse," I said, taking her hands and intertwining them. She just nodded and picked up the speed, my assurances falling on deaf ears.

"They know that you saw me in my other form, we can see through each others eyes, hear one anothers thoughts when were wolves," she said as we passed the Forks sign.

"Oh, I guess that explains some things," I said weakly, recalling how they'd known about Caleb and I being free runners.

We pulled up to Sam's house, Seth, Jake, Sam and Emily were all waiting on the porch anxiously. We let go of one anothers hand and exited the car.

"Oh my god," Emily said in horror, rushing towards me.

"It's not as bad as it looks," I said quickly and then bit down on my tongue when pain shot through my jaw.

"Christ," Jake breathed as they all got a good look at me.

"We have a first aid kit in the house," Sam said, glancing at Leah worriedly, he looked a little angry too.

"What happened exactly?" Jake asked as Emily sat me down in the living room. She came back a moment later with said first aid kit and then knelt down in front of me. Of course they would start asking questions. Was the big fat bruise forming on my face not obvious enough?

"I cut through the park to get to this store I wanted to visit. It should've only taken a few minutes and these four guys just showed up out of nowhere," I said shaking my head as if I couldn't quite believe it myself.

"What did they want?" Seth asked uneasily.

"What do you think they wanted?" Leah said harshly, "they tried to rape her. They must've followed her out of the club."

"They wouldn't have succeeded," I said rolling my eyes a little, then I scowled at the ground when Emily began to dab at my face with alcohol pads. My fists were clench tightly to keep the shaking at bay. But now i felt like every cell in my body was buzzing.

"Yeah, you looked like you had it all under you control," Jake said incredulously. "I was on patrol when Leah phased. I saw most of the fight. I can't believe you shot three people," he glanced at Leah, "i can't believe you killed someone! You changed in a public park."

"I got mad," was all Leah said. As if that answered everything, who knows maybe it did.

"And you've never seen me pissed off," I said and then flinched when she poked at the gash on my head. Quietly I muttered under my breath, "would've had unindentifiable remains if Leah hadn't shown up."

"I'm sure," Leah shot at me in disbelief.

"Great, you've got super hearing too, fantastic," I said sarcastically.

"About that, we need to talk," Sam said turned to Leah, "we never, ever phase in public, i dont care what time or what's happening. You put us all at risk of exposure. What were you thinking going to a club out there in the first place."

"That was my idea," i cut in, "i want to check out what their clubs were like. I didn't expect to stay long."

"Didn't expect to stay long? You reek of vodka," Jake said in disbelief. I ignored him.

"About the wolfy thing. I dont plan on opening my mouth to anyone but my brother, there isn't a thing I keep from him and I'm not going to start now," I said matter of factly.

"I dont believe that's wise," Sam said next.

"I dont care, besides, there are probably dozens of people that know down here and if anyone can keep something a secret, it's us," I said pointedly.

The door burst open a moment later and Caleb appeared, Quil right behind him.

He stopped short when he caught sight of me and I cringed internally. "What the hell happened?" he asked in disbelief.

"I was attacked, Leah turned into a giant wolf and saved my bacon," I said trying to make light of it.

"You were drinking? Real smart, Kira. Attacked by who?" he asked next, suddenly angry, then he caught on, "you turned into a wolf?" he asked Leah in surprise.

"Well, just a little one," she said shifting uncomfortably.

"Leah you were the size of a horse," I said chuckling a little.

"Will you be okay?" Caleb asked next, sitting beside me on the couch. He turned me to face him and he inspected the damage more closely.

"I'll be fine, just caught me off guard is all," I lied easily. He caught on though and then just nodded once, we'd talk more later.

"You look like shit," Quil blurted out and everyone turned to stare at him incredulously.

"Thank you Quil, what girl doesn't like to hear that?" I said laughing a little.

As Sam explained the importance of the pack, what they do and how we needed to keep things to ourselves I zoned out. I couldn't hold this up and by the looks of it Caleb knew it too, considering he kept shooting me worried glances.

_God why me? _i thought to myself exasperated.

There were so many people in the room, okay not really, but i couldnt handle being around anyone except for Caleb and the other boys from home. None of us could handle being close to others so closed to a lust that practicaly screamed at us. It would be so easy, my mind kept whispering, and Calebs here to help clean up the mess. This kind of lust was just so untameable sometimes. It was hard to resist the allure to cause bloodshed. But i couldn't do that, i kept reminding myself. We care about these people, we care about Leah, i care about Leah. That thought sobered me up pretty quickly.

As i thought about how much i refused to hurt her, refusing to show her just what a real monster looked like it became much easier to ignore that call. It was even fun, showing people hope and happiness, the goodness in us and then ripping it from them with a grin or a laugh. Man we were fucked up.

About fifteen minutes after Emily finished cleaning me up she handed me a bottle of strong ibuprofin. "Take a few as needed, dont take more then six in eight hours or you'll get sick," right, like i would do that, "and eat before you take them, i dont know how much you drank but if random theives got the better of you, i'm guessing quite a bit."

You'd think the fact that they were werewolves that i'd be less likely to act on my impulses, just on the principle of going in blind. We had no idea what they were capable of and sadly that only made the thought more appealing. I loved a good challenge.

"Let's get you home," Leah said and I stood up a little awkwardly.

"I'm glad your okay," Jake said sincerely, Quil nodding his agreement. I just gave them a nod, no way was I going to keep smiling. My entire face was just throbbing.

"Holy crap! What happened?" Sue asked, her and my father were sitting on the living room couch watching some crap police show.

"I crashed a friends dirt bike," I said, and then flinched a little. I made sure to stand far enough that they wouldn't smell the alcohol. If he could smell it he was pissed off to notice.

"Why weren't you wearing a helmet?" my dad yelled angrily. "You could've gotten killed!"

"Then be glad I wasn't," i shot at him irritably. Leah stood a little awkwardly beside me, her mother was just staring her down.

"Were you with her?" Sue asked Leah, a disapproving look on her face.

"I was close by, but i wasn't there when she crashed," she said, casting a quick glance at me. I figured Leah would tell her mom what really happened. Sue seemed to have a pretty good idea of the weirdness that was around. Or at least she didn't seem so out of the loop like Caleb and I felt.

"How did you crash?" my dad asked next, and I just sighed. I'd tell him what really happened, but the last time I tried to tell about some of the not so grizzly details of my life, all he could was get worked up over the little things. And something like being attacked and hunted down like an animal because of a vengeful and jealous dealers, might just send him over the edge. Besides, i didn't need him snooping around like last time.

"I made a jump wrong, let it go, shit happens."

"Were you high? Cause you look a little high to me now," i snorted slightly. I was the exact opposite of high. I was high adjacent.

"Oh yes dad, i was so fucking stoned i thought if i drove the bike and made the jump high enough i could ride into the sky," i said sarcastically.

"Wade, she's bound to look a little out of it, you would do had you just been in an accident," Leah said slowly, a strange protective sound in her voice. I guess she didn't like him jumping all over me.

"Your grounded," was all he said. I snickered a little and just went up to my room.

I crawled into bed that night, and had nothing but nightmares. It was Leah that woke me up repeatedly and in the end she just locked the door and crawled into bed with me. We shared a light tender kiss and then I was drifting off restless but dreamlessly, thanks to her presence.

_Straight from your eyes,_

_it's barely me, beautifully,_

_So disfigured, this other side,_

_that you can't see,_

_Just praying you won't remember..._


	4. Worlds Best Vampire Wrangler

_Dead meat, _

_Don't you know you're dead meat? _

_You just messed with the wrong team, _

_Better not try and fall asleep now..._

_You better run out of here,_

_I'll close my eyes and count to ten, _

_and then I'll come find you..._

_You're gonna get what you deserve, _

_Gonna get what you deserve,_

_In the end you're gonna learn, _

_Oh, you'll get what you deserve... _

Neither of us went to school Monday and Caleb woke me up around noon with coffee. We knew it would be risky taking me to school after yesterday and not because I'd been traumatized. Far from it in fact. The smallest thing could set me off and I'd go on a murdering rampage and you just can't hide something like that or clean up the mess in the middle of the day in a high school full of students. Right now i just needed isolation, keep me calm before i do something unsavory. The unwanted stares wouldn't help either, i wouldn't be surprised if most of my face was black and purple.

Leah was long gone by the time I'd finally gotten up and I had a raging headache. I accepted the coffee gratefully and he sat down on the bed. "We should call the others, tell them what happened," I just nodded my agreement and sipped on my coffee as he dialed their home phone.

"Hello?" I felt my heart soar hearing Brandon's deep voice and smiled widely, despite the soreness in my jaw.

"Hey, we have a problem," Caleb said quickly, having paused and grin when he saw my expression, "is everyone there?"

"Adrian and Jace are, I'll two way David, he's in the city right now, some kind of drop off dispute," I heard him call out for them to pick up the other phones and then listened as he began dialing David's cell phone. He answered after two rings.

"So we had a slight situation yesterday," I said glancing at Calebs face.

"What happened? Your both okay right?" David asked worriedly. I could just feel how alert everyone was over the phone. Weird how a 'slight situation' can get everyone's attention. But then again, our definition of slight wasn't the same as most. Where we think getting jumped and almost murdered is 'slight' i think that would be more of a horrible situation to other people.

"I was attacked, Gabriel send four men after me and they jumped me in Seattle. There dead now, but he knows where we are," I explained. "Quite frankly i think attacking drunk kids is kind of like cheating, but it happens." More then you might think.

"How bad?" Adrian asked after a moment of silence, everyone absorbing the new information. I got the feeling the question wasn't directed at me.

"Pretty close call if you ask me, she was drunk," Caleb said, that same distress setting in his eyes. He spends all his time trying to look out for and i can't even go out for a few hours without finding trouble. He wouldn't have even known for a few hours if they'd succeeded. God, i was always getting into trouble, however unintentional didn't matter much. "She's pretty bruised, but nothing too serious."

"Where the fuck were you? Your supposed to be looking out for her!" Brandon exploded, making me cringe at his town.

"I am!" Caleb retorted angrily.

"I swear to God Caleb, if anything else happens out there, i will give you the beating of a lifetime!" Awesome, start threatening each other, all of our problems will disolve.

"Enough both of you!" i interjected before my now enraged brother could respond.

"Ease up Brandon, he's the only one with her right now," Adrian said, scolding him a little. Brandon said nothing.

"Anyone else think it's fucking annoying that they always go after Kira?" Jace asked scoffing a little, as if the answer wasn't obvious. I was the girl.

"Well she's the baby!" David exclaimed.

"Hey!" i objected, "you know, I find it a little insulting that everyone thinks I'm the weak link just because i'm the youngest or because i'm a girl. Or both!"

"You know it's true," he responded, and i could just hear the grin in his voice.

"Where were you anyways?" Adrian asked curiously.

"I wasn't there, she was with our sister in law but based on what we were told, they were sent to kill her, tried to rape her too, though that didn't go very far," Caleb explained, eyes taking on an odd sort of rage. Everyone was silent for a moment. _Great, he just had to go and tell didn't he?_

"We haven't been able to find Gabriel for two days. No one's been able to find him anywhere, do you think he's coming after you two?" Jace asked thoughtfully.

"Hard to say, maybe he just plans to take us out one at a time, killing me would be like throwing a wrench into the machine," I was there baby sister after all. Everyone would be off their game if I died and that'd be the best time to pick us off.

"Do they know you were in Forks, or did they just come across you somehow in Seattle?" Brandon asked, still a deep irritation in his voice.

"No clue. I was distracted. As i said, Leah was with me and i drank too much. It happens. There dead, so i never got the chance to ask exactly what Gabriel knows, once Leah showed up i had to take them out before they said anything stupid. I dont even know what kind of car they had. I'm guessing the former."

"You were distracted?" Jace asked, clear disbelief in his voice. He hated that more then anything. It was one thing to drink and pick fights, but letting your guard down drove Adrian nuts.

"Your getting careless out there, jesus, we've already talked about keeping your guard up," i just rolled my eyes in response. Adrian's always lecturing me about little things.

"Until we can find him, one of us should go out there, scout things out a bit, look for more of his people," Adrian said after a moment.

"I'll do it," Brandon said instantly and I grinned.

"Alright, we'll keep looking for him. He's dead meat," Jace promised me, "and for god's sake, look after each other. We all know who gets targetted all the damn time."

"I call killing him!" I shouted before everyone hung up. I heard a few of them chuckle before ending the call. Then it was just Caleb and i as well as Adrian and Brandon.

"How did it end?" Adrian asked a moment of silence. I knew exactly what he was asking me.

"Not well," i said a little bitterly.

I had woken up and the urge hadn't lessened, only intensified. Which is why I'd been relieved when I'd woken and it had been Caleb waking me and not Leah. God knows how badly that could've ended. I didn't think I'd be able to forgive myself had i don't anything to Leah. Caleb was different, he was like me, and we never felt urges to cause pain to those that were like us. The list of names was short.

It was an impulse an that's what we were now, creatures of bloodlust and impulse. We spent more time controlling it then we did giving in. Maybe we should give in more, a part of me whispered, a sort of seductive voice. All i could think in respond to my darker self was, 'I'm not going to jail for mass murder'.

"Are you okay for now or should we take you out when i get there?" Brandon asked, all of them probably wondering the same thing. It would be tricky to do right now, especially when we had no idea where Gabriel was or who he had all sent.

"I don't know, let's wait and see," i said sighing heavily, though i already knew what the outcome would be. I couldn't stay this pent up forever. It was like caging a pissed off panther or something. It'll get out eventually and go after everything it saw.

"I'll see you soon," then the call ended.

We sat there quietly for a moment, "I don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to you," he said solemnly.

"Yeah, you'd have no one to hover over like a gorilla." He glared.

"I'm not going anywhere Caleb, I promise. No one can separate us," I said giving him a small sincere smile. He just gave me a light kiss on the cheek and stood up.

"Sam called, he said he'd like to speak to us about the training we've been doing with them," he said next. "If your not up for it, I can go alone."

"No, it's alright, just let me shower," I said quickly, I was as curious as he was. Usually if someone had to talk to us they just waited for us to come visit, but this seemed urgent somehow.

I dressed lightly, wearing a loose tank top. I had a bruise the size of a bowl right over my left ribs, and that was probably the blackest bruise. Every time I moved or raised my arms I could feel it pull a bit. That hurt in the oddest way. I pulled on some jeans and then we left. He was hovering quite a bit, he stayed in his room, which was on the other side of the bathroom we shared and he'd leave the door open. He also kept glancing over into my room. He couldn't really even seem to concentrate on the game he was playing.

We got to the house around one and almost everyone was there. Aside from Leah, Colin and Embry. I suppose it said something that we hadn't even spoken about telling the werewolves what the truth was behind the attack. This was a matter for us to handle, not them. They shouldn't get involved either. They had guns and guns could kill people, my guess is them included. I couldn't speak for everyone, but i doubted a werewolf could shoot a gun with no thumbs.

It wasn't that we didn't trust them so much as the fact that the moment they knew and got worried they'd start planning some kind of protection. Sam would start poking around about Gabriel and i couldn't risk anyone finding out about us. The less they knew the better.

Also, i didn't want to get into the way things worked back home. It was drastically different from this area and it was just too complex. They'd hear the words and know what they meant, but they just wouldn't understand.

"We need to tell you some stuff, it might be a little crazy, but it's the truth," Sam started off. I just quirked an eyebrow curiously. Again. Our definitions of 'crazy' differed from most.

"We protect La Push, that's what we were made for and were rather good at it. We've had an influx of vampires lately and we've been working with the Cullen's, an animal drinking coven of vampires to get rid of the problem. They've recently discovered that a vampire has created an army of newborn vampires and that they want to train together."

We sat there quietly, neither of us showing much of a response. We did that whenever we were being informed. It made us unpredictable. I liked unpredictable, "vampires, the people that attacked us in the woods, that was why you didn't want us out there?" Caleb guessed.

"Yes, you two have been able to fight us, which is an amazing feat in itself and we thought maybe you'd like to join us. I'm sure they've never fought like you two and we need the best allies we can get. Normally I'd be against this, but we've all voted and we figure you'd be safe with us close to you. But it's up to you."

"You want us to help you team up with vampires?" I asked finally, amused, "and you want us to help you fight a war?"

"We want you to train all of us as a group. Like i said, we need all the help we can get. Newborns are stronger then normal vampires, very much so and with your fighting, there's a chance we can get through this unscathed," he explained.

"I guess," I said shrugging, "doesn't really matter to me. I like this whole let's team up with our enemies thing. Werewolves and vampires, cops and criminals. It's refreshing. Next we'll be starting rallies for world peace."

Caleb just rolled his eyes at me, and then addressed Sam more seriously. "They wont try to hurt either of us?"

"No, they wont know your coming, but they do have another human that will be joining us, i was hoping you could teach Bella some stuff," Jake said to me, a look of worry in his eyes.

"Sure, what the hell," I said thoughtfully. I kind of liked teaching the wolves.

I didn't stay long after that. I just couldn't. I needed to be calm when we went to meet the Cullen's, not anxious and completely edgy.

We ran to the clearing that night. We could keep up pretty well, they took the ground and we used the trees, it was the fastest way for us to move around and we actually managed to keep up with Jared and Leah who appeared to be the fastest of the group. Knowing Leah was the fastest kind of sent a wave of pride over me. She was small too, so she had that as an advantage.

It had even turned into a race, though I think Caleb only kept up because he was worried about me. Everyone had reacted rather badly when they saw the huge bruise on my rib cage earlier. I had brushed it, it wasn't that bad, just kind of tender.

We slowed down as we the clearing came into view and the wolves went out first. I could see eight figures beyond the tree line and for once it was a nice clear night so we had the moon on our side. Sam changed back to his human form and then entered the clearing.

"Cullen's," he said, trying to hide the contempt and failing. My brother and I shared bemused looks. "We have two humans with us, we asked them to join us, can you control yourselves? The girl has some open wounds."

"Please, I've got tiny little scratches," I muttered under my breath, Caleb shot my a look, knowing the wolves would hear us, possibly the vampires as well.

"They are in no danger here," a cool voice said calmly.

Sam looked to where we were and then they all looked up and over to see us sitting in the trees. We dropped down to the ground and then moved to take Sam's side, though I kept quite a distance between us. When I tried to stay several feet away Leah nudged my back, shoving me forward with her snout and I scowled at her. She huffed at me and then nodded at Sam.

"Fine, pushy much, geez," I mumbled, taking his side. They introduced themselves and I caught sight of the human instantly, not that it would've been difficult. They stuck out like sore thumbs, hell even the wolves did. There eyes gave them away, bright gold, and pale skin, a sort of obvious beauty. Yeah, they looked quite a bit like the vampires that attacked us the first night we'd been here.

"What happened to you?" Esme asked staring at me. I noticed a few of them look over to the pack as if they had hurt me. Yes, because of the people most likely to attack me here are the wolves. They dont get all twitchy when they smell blood, or they might, but not in the same way. And besides, if the wolves did try to hurt me, Sam could use his whole alpha thing on them.

"I was jumped in Seattle, I think it went well, all things considered," I said smirking a little.

"Hardly," Caleb shot at me and I rolled my eyes.

"You've been showing them how to fight in their human form," Edward said next, almost in surprise.

"Edward can read minds," Carlisle added for our benefit. Caleb and I shared looks, along the lines of 'of freaking course he can'. God what next? Flying monkeys? Talking shower heads? Gremlins? A thought occurred to me. If vampires and werewolves exist, would gremlins? Or fairies and witches? I wouldn't be all that surprised, probably would be if they didn't exist though.

"I can't read yours either," he said rather disappointedly.

"Good," Caleb said instantly. "You don't want to be in our heads."

"Wait, either, who elses mind can't you read?" i asked confused. Everyone glanced at Bella.

Her face went bright red, "i'm nothing like them! I can't do any of that." Caleb and i shared looks. Unless it was a certain gene passed down in a few select families, then it was a coincidence he couldn't read her's either. Which would also mean that Edward would be able to read the minds of our other friends. If that was false, then it meant the girl was like us somehow. It would take training and quite a bit of darkness to make someone like us. She didn't look very threatening to me. Still it would be interesting to throw another girl into the mix.

"I've seen the fight you had with them, rather extraordinary," Edward said next, looking from Jake to Paul, both of them probably replaying the memory mentally.

"You make it sound like it was hard," I said amused.

"No, they tried and you beat them, that's amazing," he said next staring at me wide eyed.

"Your human though, you smell human," I raised my eyebrows at that comment. That's not weird.

"I can't imagine why, that's so crazy that i smell human," i said sarcastically.

"How sure are you that your human?" Carlisle continued.

"Seriously? I think i would know if i wasn't. I sleep, i can get drunk, the wolves can't, at least not for long. I bleed like a human. I grow the same, i get sick like everyone else. Sure i'm a little different, but who cares? What difference does it make?"

Edward turned to Sam now, and he frowned, "i've discussed it with the elders and as far as they know there are no records of either of them being Quilette descendants. They said they'd look into it but found nothing. I dont think they are wolves though, Edward would be able to read their mind."

"You told other people about us?" Caleb cut in, giving him a dark look. I had the same look. I didn't like when people got into the details of just how powerful we were. We were overlooked and that gave us an advantage.

"Yes, we weren't sure if you posed any kind of threat. None of us could figure out what made you so fast or strong, and all you kept saying was training. So i didn't have a choice. They dont know anything either, just as curious though. They just think the two of you are unique somehow, that separates you from other humans."

"There's no way they're human. You beat them. Humans are weak, that's impossible," man they just wouldn't let that one go, would they? It's like the pack all over again. "Your not human. You must be something else that smells human and you just dont know it," Jasper said thoughtfully.

This was tiring. I honestly hadn't thought much about our strengths. It never occurred to us that we were way to strong in comparison to other people. We weren't like this a few years ago. And the pack was in their human form when we sparred the first time, so they were sloppy opponents. I couldn't exactly tell them there were others like us back home, that meant giving up one too many details. Though i suppose they had a point, i had no idea what had changed us or whatever. I hadn't really cared where it came from, it was there and i used it. I still dont care now.

"No, licking your elbow is impossible, that actually happened," Caleb snickered at the movie reference i'd changed up.

"Humans are weak though, and really slow," Edward said, he turned away from all of us, walking towards the treeline and just pushed on the tree with only slight effot. The tree fell kind of slowly, all of us watching as it crashed to the ground.

"I dont think you needed to kill a tree to prove your point," i said unimpressed.

"And they bleed, that can kill humans," Emmet said, almost as if that would change everything.

"What?" why did that sound strange. "Of course we bleed. You can't possibly be that much stronger then the wolves, if at all."

"But it's impossible, i've never come across any one human like that, let alone two," Carlisle said, they were going around in circles over that, "the fact that Edward can't read your mind, the strength and agility prove your not."

"Were all kinds of things, if you want to go all wild on this bullshit human, or not being human thing, go for it. Keep me posted even."

"So your agreeing your not human?" Edward asked a little confused. Jesus, it was like a fucking broken record with these guys.

"How bout i prove you right and kick your ass to answer your question?" I retorted. I was just looking for a fight. I didn't see what the big deal was. Can't i just be special? One of a kind? Or rather one of six pieces.

"I don't think that's wise," Jasper said amused. "Fighting wolves isn't the same as fighting our kind."

"I don't know, let's test that theory shall we," I said unimpressed.

"You got your ass handed to you and you were almost raped and murdered yesterday, don't even think about it," Caleb hissed at me.

"Maybe Caleb should-," I cut Sam off.

"I want to fight them, they can't possibly be much stronger or faster then you guys and I bet I can take them down just as fast as I took down your best fighters," I said annoyed. "Besides it's not like I've never fought injured before."

Sam sighed, "I was hoping you could teach Bella, not try out for the worlds best vampire wrangler."

I snickered at that comment, "I can teach Bella any time. Come on," I said, a tad excitedly. I really wanted to know if there was a difference here.

"If you think you can handle it," he looked over my shoulder at the Cullen's, "any sign of trouble and we attack."

"Were just sparring," Carlisle said in agreement.

"Awesome," I said turning to them. Caleb was giving me a lethal stare.

"Keep control of yourself, I get the feeling yesterday didn't end the way you would've wanted it to," he said seriously.

I frowned at him, "I'll be fine."

I moved in front of the Cullen's and waited. The pixie moved in front of me, "seriously?" I said in disbelief.

"I can see the future," she said grinning at me.

"So can I, fifty bucks says your on your ass in less then a minute," I said smirking.

"Fine," she said evenly, not worried at all. I stretched a little and moved into my defensive stand.

"This should be good," Sam muttered to Caleb who nodded in agreement.

Alice moved towards me, slowly at first and then went to kick me. I blocked it, and then moved to hit her. She side stepped and then went to shove me and I dropped lower and she stumbled forward. "Too slow, it's like fighting Caleb!" I said smirking.

"Hey!" my brother objected in offence.

The girl stared at me thoughtfully and I waited. "How are you doing that? I can't see anything, you haven't decided anything."

"The future isn't set in stone smurfette," was all I said.

"I'm not that short!" she said annoyed.

She rushed me again and I dodged the blow, she went to trip me and I jumped backwards easily. She moved even faster this time, finally understanding that I wasn't your average human. She went to kick me from the right again and as I blocked the blow, she punched me, getting me in the shoulder. I ignored the instant shock it send through me, grabbed her arm and then turned and swung over my body and onto her back. I flipped her and then kept her arm straight out as I stepped on her back.

I let go and she stumbled up, the pack was making of barks of excitement and I grinned a little. "Anyone else care to test out my epic skills?" I asked amused.

"You can't possibly be human, you move way to fast," Bella said staring at me wide eyed.

"I thought we'd moved past this. Lets just say i've had lots and lots of late night training, a lot like this, only much more fun, Alice over hear was way too easy to beat."

Jasper glanced at Alice and then turned to me, "I'll fight you."

"Let me guess, she's your girlfriend?" I retorted evenly.

"My wife," he said in a clipped tone.

"Jasper, your control isn't very strong, and she has fresh blood on her, are you sure you can handle this?" Emmet asked him eyeing me.

"I'm fine," he said annoyed and then faced me, "I've fought far longer then the pack has and far longer then you. You sure you can fight me?"

"Don't underestimate me," I said eyes narrowed.

He rushed me instantly, again more slowly then necessary. I didn't like that much. It even kind of pissed me off. I couldn't stand when people think I'm weak just because I'm small. I jumped into the air fast, wrapping my arms around his head and then spun us hard. He hit the ground hard and I landed with my body a foot off the ground, body straight with my palms pressed to the ground and the tips of my toes keeping me off the ground.

I turned and stood back up staring at Jasper. "You say you've been fighting a long time. Quite frankly I'm not very impressed."

"Kira," Caleb called out warningly, I shot him a look to back off and he gave me a suspicious look.

Jasper stood back up, still a little disorienting from the move. "How did you do that?" Bella blurted out.

"I was taught to, now Jasper, if you want to get back at me for kicking your girls ass and humiliating her, then do it," I shot at him smugly. I was egging him on, we both knew it, but I couldn't help it. I wanted a real fight and I could tell Jasper had it in him. It was just a matter of making him stop holding back. I would love for him to just let loose, we were both tense and I could tell we both needed it. I had skill and he had the advantage of probably being a century or two older then me.

He narrowed his eyes at me, and then just rushed me full on again. I grinned and I let him fly into me. I pulled us down and forced us into a roll and threw him over me. I landed on my back and flipped back up in time to block his punch. I struck out again, and he dodged and then tripped me. As I hit the ground I flipped up, only this time I threw my body upwards feet first and as I flew into the air my heels got him in the face sending him backwards.

I landed gracefully and he flipped kicking me hard. As I blocked the blow I misjudged how hard it had been and I stumbled a little. He wrapped his arms around me and before he could get a good grip I threw my head back, and then elbowed him in the face. I gripped his arm, flipping him over me and onto his back. He kept hold of my wrist tightly and brought me falling forward. I threw my arms out, palms forward and as I met ground I let my body bounce and then landed on my feet. I heard him approach me and jumped up quickly, he flew under me and I kicked him in the back sending him to the ground.

I was breathing hard now and I was quite winded, but I was enjoying this and he seemed to be too. "I think that's enough," Sam said next, staring at us, the both of us more then ready for the next round.

"Maybe next time I wont hold back," he said grinning at me.

I smirked, "maybe next time I wont either." His face dropped and I laughed a little.

"Well, that proves it. Your not human," Emmet asked slowly.

Jasper reached forward suddenly, grasping my hand and he stared at my wrist. The big black bruise on both sides. "Did I do that?" he asked warily, remembering how hard he had gripped my hand when he'd pulled me.

"Of course not, that happened yesterday," I said pulling my arm back out of his reach and then Caleb was at my side.

"So now that we've established you can take on vampires, your not your average teenager, what's your big plan? We have a week until the war," Rosalie said with a slightly condescending tone. Bitchy much?

"Well Kira's going to train Bella some, just in case. There free runners, they can move around like acrobats and they can make themselves as light as feathers. In case Victoria gets to Bella, at least she'll have some sort of defense," Sam explained.

"I'll be with her," Edward pointed out, we all ignored him. He didn't't like that much.

"I want to learn how to fight," Bella said right after that, then turned to me, "I'd really appreciate it."

"Sure thing," I said glancing at Caleb.

He just eyed me thoughtfully and then nodded. I moved towards Bella and then we turned and made our way to the other end of the clearing to give us plenty of space.

"Why were you attacked?" she asked, staring at my face a little. It was pretty bruised, we'd said I crashed one of the bikes, dad bought it, surprisingly.

"They tried to rape me, you wouldn't think they would've done so much damage, i was hammered and they had guns," I said shrugging. "I can usually take on quite a few people and but i couldn't do anything properly and there were just too many people for me to handle. Easy to lose control of the situation when I'm so badly outnumbered or intoxicated."

"Oh, well you seem like you an handle yourself. So how do you know the pack?" she asked next.

"My father is engaged to Sue Clearwater and he moved us here a few weeks ago. Leah was with me when I was attacked. She phased and outed them all," I said shrugging. I'd gotten over it. Weird shit happened all the time.

I faced her, keeping us at arms reach and thought about how to do this. "What?" she asked frowning.

"Thinking, the pack had me teach them to fight before I knew what they were. But they had speed and strength on their side, you don't. I'm not sure how to start."

"How did your teacher start?"

"He told me trust my instincts and then pushed me off a twelve story building," she stared at me, probably waiting for me to say I was joking. I wasn't.

"Let's start simple then, I'll attack you at half speed, sound good?" she nodded. "Defend me as best you can. Just follow your instincts. If I hit you, don't think about it, because I wont stop hitting you until I say so."

"What if I get hurt badly?" she asked uneasily.

"Get used to it, if you have to fight a vampire, your chances of survival are slim to none without sheer luck," she stretched a little and I waited.

"Okay, I'm ready." She really wasnt.

Bella lasted less then twenty seconds most of the night, and made it to twenty five after about four hours. She was pretty sore and I could tell she was tired but I could see she didn't want to stop. "Could we do this more then just a few hours, I want to be useful," she said as we re-joined the group.

"Your not going to be at the battle field," Edward said overhearing her, he took her side, and just gave me a sort of hesitant smile. He clearly didn't trust me.

"I know, but just in case, I don't want to have to just stand there in case we get attacked from all sides," she said, already guilty about something that hadn't happened yet.

"What did you have in mind? I have school tomorrow, and I have an hour long basketball practice after school," I said gaze flickering to Caleb and back.

"Could you come over after that, to my house I mean? If you don't mind, if you think you'll be too tired I understand," she said hesitantly.

I gave her a weird look, "your not very confident in yourself are you? It's kind of sad, you have all these people around you working together despite their total animosity for one another and you still cant see your own self worth, it's kind of pathetic."

"Kira!" Sam and my brother shouted in disbelief, over hearing me.

Bella and Edward both looked taken aback, but Edward didn't object. He agreed with me apparently. "You don't say things like that to strangers, we've talked about this," Caleb said finally.

"No, she's right, she's kind of rude about it, but she's right," Bella said blushing furiously. "Will you come over?"

"Yeah," I said shrugging, I didn't mind.

"I'm sure Jake will want to come too, he can show you where I live," she said giving me a grateful smile. I just gave her a wink and then went to go see my brother and Sam.

When we got home both Seth and Caleb crashed right away. Leah and I went up to my room for a bit. "I was so nervous watching your fight those leeches, I thought they might get your scent and then go ballistic on you," she said, locking the door and then she was on top of me on the bed with her lips pressed to mine.

I wrapped my arms around her and she pressed her warm body into my cool one and I moaned at the sensation that went through me. "Leah, does the pack know about us?" I asked, rolling us so that I straddled her waist. That had been bugging me all day.

"No, I can hide my thoughts very well," she promised, pulling me back down for a hard demanding and hungry kiss. Every time she touched me or kissed me it made me light headed and all the more excited. I felt a need spread through a me, a need that craved Leah in a powerful way, and knowing we weren't about to stop any time soon, it only made me want her more.


	5. Goodbye Keith Masterson

Both Jake and Caleb joined me when I went to Bella's and Jasper as well as Edward was there. All of them wanted to train more I guess. Bella was pretty unbalanced so I decided to start with that today.

"Alright, the idea is to sense everything. I'm going to blind fold you and your going to climb a tree and walk across it to another one, okay?" I said as she began to stretch our.

"What?" she said pausing in surprise. "Where are you going to be?"

"Watching you, I'm going to be in another tree and you need to come to me."

"What if I fall?" she asked, rubbing her arm, she'd fallen on it awkwardly last night and I told her to ignore it. She was pretty good at ignoring pain, which had surprised me, but other then that she was about the same way I had been when I first learned all this. Though I had good balance I trusted my instincts much more.

"Then it's going to hurt like a bitch," I said in response.

"I'll catch you," Jake said from beside me, clearly disapproving.

"I'll stop you," I said in response to him, giving him a look that clearly said 'stay the fuck out of this'. He frowned. "I need her to trust herself and rely only on herself. If she thinks she has someone waiting to catch her then she wont concentrate as much as I want her to and if you get in my way I will tie you down."

He said nothing. I turned back to Bella who looked like a frigthened rabbit or something, "we'll use the thicker trees. Now trust your instincts, rely on your senses and breathe, it'll help you focus, and if you take longer then five minutes, i will shove you off the tree."

"I'm not so sure about this," she mumbled, keeping up with me as we moved to the treeline. We'd moved to a clearing just a short distance from the house. Caleb, Edward and Jasper were sparring in the center of the clearing.

"I dont care, this is training for survival, it's not for pansies. You need to know what your capable of, know your weaknesses and strengths. You want to be useful then you need to learn and sometimes that shit hurts," I said sighing.

"I can't imagine your teacher was this hard on you," she said frowning and kicking at a stick grumpily.

"No, they were far worse, and I didn't go home with just a sore arm. No, I went home with broken ribs, concussions, blackeyes and sprains, then I'd be up six hours later to do it all over again." She just stared at me in disbelief.

I took out the blind fold and she sighed and turned around. I tied it together tightly and then turned her to the tree I wanted her to climb. "Climb," I ordered. "Stop when you feel like your at the perfect spot."

"Okay," she said reluctantly.

I watched her climb up a little unsteadily and she stopped about four branches high and fifteen feet off the ground. I moved into the woods and then climbed up my tree. I didn't want to stay on the treeline, if Edward saw her and thought she was in trouble or something he'd come flying over hear. I could feel his eyes on us, and we were just a distraction both of them were to one another. I decided to train them in seperate areas next time.

The tree I chose was four away from her. "Alright, stay up at least four branches from the ground, keep count. And when I start singing I want you to make your ways towards my voice."

"Your going to sing?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yep."

_It's like you're a drug _

_It's like you're a demon I can't face down_

It's like I'm stuck

She didn't move right away, just listening for a moment once she'd faced me.

_It's like I'm running from you all the time_

_And I know I let you have all the power_

Slowly, she edged forward a small step and kept her hands out at her sides in case she fell.

_It's like the only company I seek is misery all around_

_It's like you're a leech_

_Sucking the life from me_

_It's like I can't breathe_

She'd moved to the edge of the branch when it began to dip down under her weight she paused. As it moved even more she didn't wait and then jumped.

_Without you inside of me_

She reached out, hands brushing across the closest branch and caught the second. She stayed there breathing heavily, just dangling in the air for a moment. It looked like it hurt a bit.

_And I know I let you have all the power_

_And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time_

_It's like I can't breathe_

Slowly she pulled herself up and then leaned against the center of the tree, still breathing heavily.

_It's like I can't see anything_

_Nothing but you_

Shakily, she stood up, feeling around it and reached out with her foot, searching for a branch. There wasn't one.

_I'm addicted to you_

_It's like I can't think_

She paused for a moment, not sure what to do.

_Without you interrupting me_

_In my thoughts_

_In my dreams_

An idea must've come to her, because she reached up and then jumped, barely catching the branch of her.

_You've taken over me_

_It's like I'm not me_

_It's like I'm not me_

She turned, holding the branch on both side instead of the one. She began to push her body back and forth.

_It's like I'm lost_

_It's like I'm giving up slowly_

_It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me_

_Leave me alone_

She had gotten enough momentum to wrap her legs around the branch and was now pulling herself around and over it so she was laying on it rather then hanging from it.

_And I know these voices in my head_

_Are mine alone_

_And I know I'll never change my ways_

_If I don't give you up now_

She sat up now, and paused, before feeling around the tree and then moved around it.

_It's like I can't breathe_

_It's like I can't see anything_

_Nothing but you_

She took a deep breath.

_I'm addicted to you_

_It's like I can't think_

She waited another breath, before surprising me. She had gone straight off of it and jumped.

_Without you interrupting me_

_In my thoughts_

_In my dreams_

She caught the next branch and as it snapped in half I felt my eyes widen but I didn't move.

_You've taken over me_

_It's like I'm not me_

_It's like I'm not me_

She fell pretty low now, two branches from the ground, but she'd managed to catch a branch, and the impact of crashing into it had stolen her breath. She waited a moment.

_I'm hooked on you_

_I need a fix_

_I can't take it_

_Just one more hit_

She took her time as she began to climb back up several branches, this time testing them out before climbing up. She was learning the hard way, but she was catching on.

_I promise I can deal with it_

_I'll handle it, quit it_

_Just one more time_

_Then that's it_

_Just a little bit more to get me through this_

_I'm hooked on you_

_I need a fix_

_I can't take it_

_Just one more hit_

_I promise I can deal with it_

_I'll handle it, quit it_

_Just one more time_

She had made it up three branches this time, probably unsure of how close she was to ground and she looked even more nervous. The fall had freaked her out quite a bit by the looks of it. It had been a fast fall too.

_Then that's it_

_Just a little bit more to get me through this_

_It's like I can't breathe_

She paused where she was and just listened for another few seconds, catching her breath and facing me head on now. Of course she couldn't see the problem with the next jump. I was holding the top branch and the branch I stood on was very thin. There was only one branch beneath us.

_It's like I can't see anything_

_Nothing but you_

_I'm addicted to you_

_It's like I can't think_

She jumped and the branch dipped down as if it were string. She let go of it, looking scared as hell, but finally trusting her gut.

_Without you interrupting me_

_In my thoughts_

She caught the next branch which shook.

_In my dreams_

_You've taken over me_

She caught her breath as it snapped, just knowing there was nothing beneath her it looked like she was about to shout.

_It's like I'm not me_

_It's like I'm not me_

Instead she bent her knees slightly and kept her hands out open flat and landed in a slight crouch.

I let go, dropping down next to her and she pulled off the blindfold, she looked incredibly disappointed. "I failed," she said turning and going back into the clearing.

"No you didn't," I objected, following her, "the end was a test Bella. You weren't supposed to make it to the end. Instead of screaming or something you prepared for the impact and you landed on your feet. You passed with flying colors, your learning and fast too."

"I wasn't supposed to make it?" she said next and I nodded. "It was a test?" I nodded again and then she smiled and even looked excited.

"What's next?"

A Ducati was parked outside Charlie's house when we finally got back. I recognized the man standing next to it instantly. "Brandon!" I said excitedly, running towards him.

I threw myself at him, wrapping my arms around him and he spun me kissing me on the temple lightly. "I missed you," I breathed, squeezing my eyes shuts and holding him tightly.

"I missed you too beautiful," he said, relaxing at the familiar touch.

"Hey bro," Caleb greeted grinning, both of them grasping hands in the air and then letting go. I stayed under Brandon's arm though and he didn't look all the more bothered by it. We'd never spent this much time apart ever before, none of us had. The longest we'd ever gone without seeing one another, any of us, was probably a few days at most.

Bella and the others were looking at Brandon weirdly now. Brandon was giving them similar looks. "What's with the fan club?" he asked, not at all friendly.

"Be nice," I scolded him, smiling anyways.

"Were friends," Jake said glaring at him, not liking him already.

"I'm going to stay, I need to discuss a few things about tonight, see you later?" Caleb asked, guessing I'd want to hang out with him a bit. I nodded and then Caleb shot me the keys to the car and Brandon gave him the keys to the bike.

"Where do you want to go?" he asked curiously as we went towards the car.

"Anywhere!" I said instantly and he chuckled.

When he'd asked if i needed to do something about my 'chocolate' craving i'd said yes. There was no point denying, the tell tale signs were there. My eyes were darker, my voice was colder and i was completely tense. The combat training wasn't helping either. It was like having something out of reach and grasping at it would break the rules. I'd had to leave Leah at arms length the entire time and i think that bothered her. But again, she didn't know what was going on exactly.

Often when we didn't get our special 'chocolate' we could be waiting for the perfect mark for days. And as i'd told the pack, things could escelate badly and very quickly, which meant no sex. I'd hooked up with Brandon and the others a few times, aside from Caleb of course. We couldn't very well mess with other people and it was risky. And why bother when you had four highly attractive men devoted to you? It was just another way to express our love for each other.

In the end we decided to go the next night before all of the training. It was the one night a week i didn't have anything to do with school practice. I could train Bella early and the we'd leave and be back in time to start the group training.

We ended up driving around for a little while. I told him everything that had happened, omitting the bit about the pack and about Leah and I. He found a lot of it funny and made enough jokes about everything that it had me bent over holding my stomach. I'd missed this. Just laughing and joking around with him. He gave me a rundown on everything that had happened, and he must've said he'd missed me about six times.

I'd missed Brandon and I almost didn't want to leave, but it was going on ten and he needed to head back to Seattle and I had training. I got to the clearing fifteen minutes late and everyone turned to me when I showed up.

"Everything okay?" Caleb asked eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, he said he'd call if something came up," I said shrugging. They'd found nothing on Gabriel. He had left the city a few days ago. So we assumed he was in Seattle somewhere. With more friends maybe. But they didn't know Brandon was around and he was strictly doing surveillance right now.

Leah nudged me, coming up to my side and I turned to her and smiled. "Old friend," I explained, running my hands through her fur. I felt much calmer, even happier having spent time with my other brother.

"So I thought we could work in pairs tonight," Caleb suggested, addressing everyone. "Kira and I will partner up and show you how much different fighting two against two can be. Jasper, Alice?"

I took Caleb's side and they faced off with us. "The best way to fight with a partner is not to get distracted, but still be able to keep tabs on everything that's happening with them, now attack us."

They rushed us and we side stepped way from each other and I struck my arm getting Alice in the chest and Jasper was tripped. They stood back up, back to back and then rushed us. I blocked the kick and then jumped into the air and she spun as I landed with my back to Caleb. He had kicked out and sent Jasper flying back before he faced away from me.

They rushed us again and I flipped upwards and got her in the face and Caleb grasped my hand, spinning me and I flew around sideways, getting Jasper in the side of the face this time.

I dropped, bouncing back into a stand and we nodded for them to relax. "Movements like that, you need to trust each other, sense one another and anticipate the next move your partner will make," Caleb said giving everyone looks. "Your body is a weapon, it's a everything from a tool, instrument, a sword and shield. Use it to your advantage, your partner is the same."

I moved back towards Bella's side and she just gave me a small smile. "Come on, let's go get our session in," she nodded excitedly, giving Edward a kiss on the cheek and then we went to our designated area.

"Can we practise partner stuff?" she asked curiously.

"Later, we need you in defensive mode for right now."

The next day we left around five o'clock and it gave me a decent amount of time to do what i needed to. We were entering Seattle when Brandon asked me if i had anyone in mind. "Not really," i admitted shrugging. I hadn't thougt much about it until now. We had two rules, we had to be invisible at all times so we weren't traceable, and we couldn't choose anyone with families. There was no age limit, but we knew better then to go for teenagers and we'd never even consider children as an option.

"Are you guys coming with me?" i asked curiously.

"Yeah, i could use a good dose of evil," Brandon said chuckling humorlessly but utterly serious. I smiled.

"I'm in," Caleb said next, a glee in his eyes.

"What are we thinking then? Asian? Native? Poor, upper class, middle class? Male, female? Good, bad?" i suggested, looking out the window.

"it's up to you," Caleb said indifferently.

I frowned, debating my options. They were endless. "How about the mayor?"

"The mayor, why?" Brandon asked amused.

"Cause i want revenge and seeing as my ambushers are dead i figured why not the mayor? I can't even count how many times the government royally fucked us and everyone else," i said bitterly, all of our minds going to the same place.

"Well, were criminals, of course they did," Caleb said rolling his eyes.

"You couldn't pick someone low key, you just had to choose the mayor," Brandon said rolling his eyes at a little.

"Dont be jealous," i shot at him and Caleb snickered at Brandon, who was glowering at me.

"What do we know about the mayor?" he asked, changing the subject. I took out my phone and searched him.

"He has a wife," i said watching the reel of a press conference. Then jumped through some of the links, reading aloud as we did so. "They look distant, my guess is they married too young, the mayor sleeps around," it was practically stamped across his forehead. "Though it's never been proven or anything. Could just be a scandal but i doubt it. He was raised in politics, his dad was on the city council for twenty five years."

"Does it say if there's any kind of big event going on tonight?"

"I havent found anything like that. My guess is he's probably at city hall," i said, looking up the address.

"I hate to say it, but Brandon's right. We cant risk bringing too much attention to ourselves right now, even with our gear. As soon as the police see the tapes they'll know where we are and it's too close to La Push. We need a different target, someone the police wont care about it," Caleb sounded a little guilty.

Maybe because he hadn't been around for the attack, like the one that happened a year ago. Or perhaps because he knew i didn't get my 'chocolate' and i had to get my second favourite chocolate now.

"What do you suggest?" i asked curiously.

"How bout a convict?" Brandon suggested.

"I can agree to that," i said thoughtfully, and then pulled my laptop from it's bag. It didn't take much longer then two minutes before i found this evenings target.

"Perfect. Keith Masterson, arrested on multiple occasions for assault, rape and murders but none of the evidence stuck, he lives on the edge of town with his brother, a drug dealer by the sounds of it," i said, passing the laptop up for Brandon to check it out.

We found the house easily enough. It wasn't rundown, it actually looked rather new. Renovations perhaps? I guess business around here was good. We parked outside of a small childrens park and began walking towards the house. We split up halfway there and Brandon climbed up on top of a roof to keep watch. Caleb hopped over a wooden house, and continued in the same direction climbing over one backyard to another. I just stuck to the side walk. I was wearing loose black clothing, i'd tied my hair back and kept my good up, it covered most of my face to the tip of my nose.

As i approached the house, i paused a moment, counting the number of people in the building and came up with five. I went into the neighbours yard, hoisting myself up into a tree. It appeared to be a bedroom, and the door was open. I moved to the ledge of the branch, keeping myself weightless and then paused when someone walked by the open door.

Once they were out of sight i leaned forward and began to jimmy the lock on the window. I lifted it up, and then threw my body into the room, rolling to keep silent. I could smell weed, and a lot too.

I paused, listening to see if anyone was moving around. They weren't aside from the one going downstairs. I moved out of the room, pausing again. Everyone seemed to be downstairs. i got to the railing, jumping over it and landing silently. I could hear Caleb enter in a room in the far right corner and i moved into the kitchen and then Caleb appeared from the opposite side of me and i gave him the plan, holding up two fingers and he nodded.

The second game plan was that i'd make some noise and he would wait for them to come to me before he went into the now half empty room. I grabbed a beer bottle from the kitchen counter and then whipped it at the wall. It shattered instantly, clattering to the ground, beer splashing across the wall.

I moved to press my back to the wall as two sets of footsteps ascended up stairs quickly, and lifted up the knife from the table. I untangled the black whip from around my arm, twirling it as i adjusted to the weapon. As they entered the room, they caught sight of me a second too late. i raised the whip, and it wrapped around the gun of the man closest it. I spun it, getting him hard in the cheek, enough to draw a thick red line.

I whipped the blade straight into the face of the first man, right between his eyes. He dropped slowly, blade launched deep within in his skull. The other one lifted the gun and i kicked at it hard, sending it flying into the living room. He rushed me, and i side stepped the hit. I kicked the back his knee, bringing him to his knees and punched him hard in the nose. It shattered and he howled in pain.

He jumped up, furious and rushed me again, i blocked this next throw and then round house kicked him. It sent him flying backwards into the frdige, so hard that the entire kitchen shook. I moved towards him this time, when he grabbed the knife in the other one and threw it at me, i caught it perfectly and then whipped it back at him, aiming for his manhood, and pinning him to the ground. He gasped, and reached out, attempting to take it out and failing.

I reached to the left grasping the handle of a broom and i snapped it in half. He'd started pleading and begging, crying for me not to do it. All i could do was smile. His words were almost soundless. My body had just gotten so juiced up from the first kill that i felt high. "You want me to spare your life?" i asked curiously, trying to sound sincere and even merciful.

"Yes, pl-please!" then he started grasping at straws.

"Did you show mercy when you killed and raped all those women? I don't think so you pathetic waste of space. Feels like i'm doing society a favor."

"I have a family! My son and my wife is pregnant!"

"That's unfortunate, isn't it?" i asked grinning widely, "you should've thought twice then."

"Please! I dont want to die!"

"Who does?" i retorted, and as he saw my resolve, he ripped the blade from him and then stumbled up. I swung my arm forward, the line wrapped around the blade and then pulled back to catch it. I whipped it again, and it hit the center of his far right palm. The blade went almost all the way through and then buried itself in the wall next to him. He froze again.

I moved towards him, and he swore when he struck out. I caught his wrist, breaking it and he made what sounded like a dying moose or something. I went towards him, tears in his eyes. I pressed my finger to my lips, "shh. It'll all be over soon."

I punched upwards, shattering his jaw this time and i raised the busted end to him. I pressed it against his chest and he was just sobbing now. "We all have a debt to pay, even me," i said giving him a bright twisted smile. I started pushing it in forcefully but not quickly. He kept trying to pull away and then it was about a quarter of the way in.

"Kira?" Caleb said entering the kitchen. He glanced from one man to the next, looking approving as always.

"Almost done," i said darkly, still smiling and then i jumped up and kicked it straight in halfway. His eyes went wide, just staring at me.

I stepped towards him, watching his facial expressions. I always found their expressions fascinating.

"Good bye Keith Matherson, enjoy hell."


	6. What We Couldn't Do

We all returned home, the woods were dead quiet now that we were in the early morning darkness. Each of us were exhausted. I was half exhausted, kind of. After the rush I'd gotten, I felt ready for anything from a gun shoot out, a bank robbery to baking cookies or sleeping. I'd had such restless nights that my muscles felt sore now.

Seth and my brother strolled up the steps and I noticed a single light was on, the lamp from the living room. God I hope it wasn't my father. The boys went in first, and I heard Seth speaking quietly, and a woman's voice. Sue was still up.

"What were you doing all night?" she asked, her eyes bouncing from one tired expression to the next.

"Training," Leah said giving her a small reassuring smile. "Just practicing before the fight."

Sue gave a tight nod to us, and the boys went upstairs. "You should get to sleep as well, you do have school in the morning after all."

I just nodded, moving past her and into the kitchen. I filled a glass of water, drinking it all with one breath and refilled it. I passed it off to Leah as she came in, her mother behind her and both of them seated themselves at the table.

"What really happened to you?" Sue asked, and I gave her a surprised look. I thought Leah or Seth would've told her the truth about my 'accident'.

"I was jumped in Seattle," I said simply, shrugging slightly. "In a park, I had a blade on me, but that was it. They got a little touchy and I was outnumbered to fight properly, they got in a few hits before Leah showed up."

"And you changed?" Sue added up, nodding mostly to herself.

"Yeah, I was furious when I finally found her," she said frowning a little.

"Well you always were the temperamental one," Sue said in a sympathetic tone, then she gave me an odd look, "why did you guys split up in the first place?"

I hesitated, "well it was supposed to be a surprise, but everyone keeps asking. Seth told me last week that Leah's birthday was coming up, and I wanted to get her something nice."

"You don't have to get me anything," Leah said quickly.

"Nonsense, of course I'm getting you something," I said amused.

"Yes, I was thinking about what to get for you. Is there anything you wanted?" Sue asked her daughter, "going to be twenty three soon."

"I hadn't thought about it," she said awkwardly, looking down at her open palms as if searching for a magical answer. I frowned a little, glancing at Sue, she looked a little sad too.

"What?" I asked, coming to the conclusion that something happened on her birthday.

"Leah leaves when it's birthday," Sue explained, sadness in her eyes, maybe a little guilt. "Just disappears for a few days, before her birthday and comes home a few days later."

"I can't exactly leave this time though," she said a little bitterly, then threw me an apologetic look, she'd clearly forgotten it was around the same time. She'd already agreed to go to the fair/festival/celebration thing on friday.

"Why do you take off in the first place?"

"I don't like the attention, it's the one day everyone pretends their proud of me or pretend they like me, and I know they don't," she ended in a clipped tone and stood up, "I'm going to bed." Then she was gone.

"She's been like that for a few years now, I've tried to convince her to stay but she just wouldn't hear it," Sue said forehead creasing.

"She's right though she won't leave, i dont think so anyways, that just means I get to do something special for her," I said determinedly. I would make this birthday worth it. Leah deserved it, deserved the best and certainly deserved happiness, especially on her own damn birthday and i would give it to her.

"Good, I know you don't like La Push much. But I couldn't be more grateful for what you've done for us, you and your family," I quirked an eyebrow.

"How do you mean?" I knew the answer, at least I think I did. I was just curious as to how she perceived it.

"Before you moved, things were," she paused, searching for a word that fit, "intense. Leah was angry at the world. When their father passed away, Leah and Seth blamed themselves. Leah took it the worst, she was really close with him. She had no one to talk to. But the change was noticeable right away, she smiled the way she did when she was younger, and she laughed. I don't how long it had been since I'd heard her laugh. You've given her some sort of release," I bit down on the insides of my cheeks, as my mind went to a slightly dirtier place when she said 'release'.

"She couldn't talk to anyone, they weren't permitted to keep their previous friends and their are no other girls in the pack, there are the imprints, but I don't think they'd be able to understand her. I guess what I'm trying to say is; thank you, Kira, for what you've done for her when the rest of us couldn't."

"Couldn't?" I repeated perplexed.

"She wouldn't let anyone in aside from Harry. We tried so hard to make things better for her, to help the transition, but nothing helped. If I ever tried to speak to her about how she felt, she'd get angry or storm out. Seth tried to talk to her as well, they had been close before, as much as a twenty two year old girl could be with her sixteen year old brother."

"You make it sound like you gave up on her or something," I said unimpressed. What mother gives up on their daughter? I mentally rolled my eyes at the answer, my mom did. She looked away, and I had my answer. No wonder why she had such a guilty look on her face.

"I didn't know what to do for her. She would just get so angry when I tried to speak to her, then she'd take off for hours. So in the end, I just figured if I gave her space and time, that she'd come to me when she was ready."

I raised my eyebrows, that was her logic? I suppose that would ease her conscience if she thought Leah wasn't ready to talk. "Right, well," I shrugged, "Leah and I don't talk about certain things, we don't want to upset one another I guess, I mean, if she asked me why I was so messed up, then I'd ask her. I'd imagine that's why we spend so much time together."

"She hasn't told you anything at all?" I shook my head.

"If Leah wants to talk she knows she can come to me at any time. I haven't known her long enough to ask personal questions."

"Well regardless, your bringing her some peace, and I owe you for that, I was so afraid I was losing her until you came along."

"I'm not doing much of anything Sue, I just don't ask the wrong questions. When people bring some bad memory to the surface or whatever, I try to make her laugh or smile, rather then ask for details."

She just gave me a sincere smile, "all that matters is her and Seth being happy. Even Seth worried about her all the time. I've never seen them happier."

"Okay," was all I said, standing straight, "good night Sue."

"Sweet dreams."

Both of the boys were already passed out in their rooms by the time I'd gone upstairs. I got why. Caleb and I had never actually taught anyone before, and we were hard on them too, no breaks just intense training for over four hours. Not to mention they still had school and patrol each day. Man, the pack must be really sore, they weren't used to intense training and we were. I had been too this morning, but once I'd gotten my 'chocolate' I felt great. It tended to numb the pain, which made us perfect warriors.

Sadly though, I couldn't, I was too wired from earlier and I was glad to be back to by normal self. I'd grabbed a quick snack, which consisted of the whole box of strawberries and the raspberries before moving up into my room. As I ascended the stairs something crossed my mind, could she overhear the conversation we'd had? Could Seth? I'd imagine they could, they had wicked senses.

She was already waiting for me in the bed. The second night after the ambush, I'd still had nightmares and she'd laid in bed with me again. Now she didn't even have to ask. I'd told her the nightmares would last for a while, they always did. Now that I'd gotten my kill, that would cause horrifying dreams as well, it was like a side effect or something.

I didn't mean to sound so self conscious when I asked , "isn't it hard not to think about me when your a wolf?"

I'd wondered about that a few times. It couldn't possibly be as simple as she made it sound, and if it was then it just proved how one sided the feelings were. The physical attraction was obvious to both of us, though no one else seemed to notice. They all just assumed Leah was finally having a true friend or sister or something, that she was just opening up after she'd also been so alone for so long. As if it were to be expected. I knew the truth because I had seen through it. At least I'd thought I had.

She just smiled, tugged me into her arms and I moved without having to think about it. "I've been a wolf for about six months now, and because of my history I had to learn to control my thoughts, well more accurately, hide them from the others, faster. They got sick of it quickly and I've pretty much perfected it. They hear what I want them to hear, and it isn't much. Occasionally things slip, only when I'm worried or distracted."

"What kinds of things?" I asked curiously, and then wondering, if Edward could read her mind, did that mean he only heard what she allowed him to? If the pack only heard was on the surface and not below, was it the same?

"Well tonight I got pretty pissed off when the leech had landed that hit. You and Caleb always seem to be a step ahead of everyone. I didn't like that she go the best of you, you always seemed so untouchable," she'd sounded protective and territorial, rather then disappointed. But her tone changed to embarrassed now. "I didn't realize you'd let her plant the hit on purpose and I was about to attack her then and there when Paul told me to relax. Everyone made comments about me being over-protective of my new sister."

I chuckled, if only they knew the truth. Protective yes, but because I was her sister? No. "You said distasteful and upsetting history."

"I never said distasteful or upsetting," she said, a frown in her voice and I just smiled and raised our intertwined hands, kissing her knuckles.

"Leah, I've been observing you for quite a while now. It's clear that whatever has happened to you has made you bitter and however long ago it really was, well, the wounds are fresh. You don't need to say you have a bad past. It's all in your eyes babe."

She caught her breath in surprise at the simple pet name, remaining silent for a moment. "I could say the same. You've had the occasional nightmare before, but nothing as scary as the night you were attacked."

"Touche," I said smiling faintly.

"If your as perceptive as you think you are, I assume you can already guess what it's about?" she said quietly, nervousness in her voice. I couldn't see her because the lights were off, but I could tell already she was probably squeezing her eyes closed.

"You harbor some pretty deep resentment towards Sam and Emily, and my guess is he left you for her," I almost hadn't said it. I didn't want to upset her and anything related would send her into a bout of silence, but she'd initiated the conversation.

"Yeah," she said, voice so low I almost missed it. Then a little more clearly she added, "it hasn't been as bad since you've moved in. Ever since day one actually."

I smiled blindingly, warmth flooding my body and I turned in her arms and she seemed surprised with the quick movement after sitting in the same position so long. I propped myself up on my elbows, both of them on either side of her face. "Why is that so amusing to you?" she asked, frowning at my wide smile.

"It isn't amusing, it's more of a relief. I wasn't sure whether or not you'd felt the same right away," I said honestly, raising my right hand up and pushing the bangs from her face. I turned my gaze back down to hers and gave her a crooked smile. "I'm not nearly as self assured as I act. But I have to act that way."

She just narrowed her eyes slightly, "why do you need to act that way? Doesn't that bother you, never getting to be who you really are with people? If no one sees who you are, how can they love the real you, its rather hard on other people if your always keeping up the image."

I pursed my lips tightly, unsure of how to answer that. I hadn't seen it that way. My brothers knew who I was, what more did I need? Other people couldn't see weakness. I'd spend so much time pretending to be some other person that I had eventually got lost in her, and only in rare moments did I ever see the old me. I always saw a stranger in the mirror, always. But my brothers were the same, in rare flashes and almost always in privacy did we see the small memories of who we used to be.

"I suppose the truly compassionate are the ones who will see the facade for what it was, perhaps not who I really am, but if they care then they'll wait to meet me, the real me," I said finally.

She looked a little hurt now, "Do I see the real you?"

I sighed as I debated whether or not to be honest. I settled on the truth. Sitting up and then looked away for a moment, jaw clenching and un-clenching. "I'm not a good person Leah, I never really was and I've never claimed to be. My mind isn't a pretty place. I care for you Leah, truly, in a way I can't explain, you've given me a sense of peace I just can't describe, a peace I've never felt before, even as I child. But I can't show you who I am because quite frankly, it would scare you away. I've spent so much time-," I cut off, I didn't know how to word this. "I'm showing you the small things, the things I know you can handle. But I don't-," my words had failed me.

I finally looked up to her eyes and she looked more thoughtful then anything. But that was just it, she was thinking about it, and it would make her all the more curious. I didn't want her asking questions I wouldn't answer, it would only frustrate her and distance us. I just didn't want that. I like what we were, even though it was all secrets, I liked having her close to me. But I also couldn't give her a full view of how dark I truly was, I wanted her too scared to poke that kind of stuff.

"You were right, about Sam leaving me for Emily," she said quietly after what felt like hours of silence. "When did you first realize why I was the way I was?"

"The first time we went to Sam's place. Emily made the comment about being from another reservation. You flinched," she just raised her eyebrows. "Before that you called them your family, but you sounded bitter about it."

"You didn't wonder why I still stuck around, why I didn't hang out with other people?" she asked a little unbelieving.

I just shrugged, "before it had just been Caleb and I, when we met the others, we were always together, or close by. Even if we were all mad at each other or in a big argument as a group, we'd still be attached at the hip. What we were made us like that. I assumed you guys had a reason to stick together the same way."

"Well your not wrong, the werewolf thing keeps us together. A lot of us didn't even know each other's first names before the change. But we can't be around other people because at first were so temperamental that we'd burst and that's how Emily got hurt. She had been standing too close to Sam one day when he got upset."

"Wow," was all I could say. I could just imagine how guilt ridden Sam must be. If one of my brothers had accidently hurt me and left me scarred like that, they'd never forgive themselves.

"Yeah, but before Sam changed we had been engaged. Three years ago. He'd just broken it off without a word. Disappeared for days only to return and that was it. He couldn't explain because he wasn't supposed to tell anyone what he was. There isn't usually more then one or two of us at a time, but the Cullen's being so close keeps triggering the descendents with the most blood."

She paused, waiting for me to absorb this. It had become very obvious of our age differences when she brought up being engaged, and three years ago? I mean, she was twenty two, I was sixteen. She'd been engaged when she was nineteen, I would've been thirteen, maybe fourteen. I knew I was older beyond my years, but that was what life had done to me and I had made my peace with that. I'd never truly been normal. The fact that I was messing around with my step sister who happened to be six years older them just proved that.

"Then about a year ago my father died, Seth and I had shifted for the first time at the same time right in front of him. He had a heart attack," I felt my heart sink, I had known what had caused Harry's death, I hadn't known what caused the heart attack though.

"That's awful," I didn't know what else to say now.

"The first voice in my head was Sam's, and for a long time I hated him, blaming him for my dad's death. But nobody lives forever, not really anyways. Then I found out why Sam had left, he'd imprinted on Emily. So not only was my dad dead, my mother heart broken, but I had to abandon my life and I was forced into the pack without so much as my own consent, turned into a wolf with a bunch of other people invading my mind and overhearing my thoughts. There was no choice, and I'm learning that sometimes in life you don't get a choice. All you can do is accept it and make the best of it. I know he feels guilty about leaving me the way he had, but what more could he do? It's physically painful to deny your imprint. But you've helped open my eyes a little."

I was at a loss for words, I'd never heard her say anything like that before. "You know, if I had been around back then, I totally would've kicked his ass just on principle," I said lamely. She burst out laughing and then wrapped her arms around me and flipped us so that she was on top of me.

"Will you ever tell me why you have such horrible nightmares?" she asked suddenly, watching me closely and I tensed instantly, eyes and face very well guarded.

"Bad memories Leah, very bad memories," was all I said, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her down for a hard passionate kiss.

The big fight was going to be on Sunday morning and when we got the usual clearing it became apparent Caleb and I weren't intended to be there. Neither of us were pleased about that. "You have the same human weakness Bella does and I doubt if anyone hear is willing to risk losing you," Carlisle said logically.

I snorted slightly and rolled my eyes. "I think we have as much a right to be at the fight as you do," Caleb objected. "You might need the help."

"Perhaps a week ago we may have, but your training has changed the future. Alice has seen that there will be virtually no injuries."

"Virtually isn't the same as zero," I pointed out and he sighed.

"The pack wants you stay with the imprints and protect them in case any of the rogue vampires get through," Edward said next, at the packs nod.

It had been a little tricky training them in their animal forms but we'd found some pretty interesting ways to use their giants forms as more of an advantage then a disadvantage. It'd been a little amusing watching them trip over each other at first though. Bella and I had gotten a kick out of it. Even funnier when Caleb had started pairing up one of the wolves and one of the Cullen's.

"All it takes is for one of them to sink their teeth in you and it's game over," I tensed instantly, Caleb didn't look thrilled either.

"That's all it takes?" I asked in disbelief, "one bite and your a vampire?"

"Yes, the process is excruciating and it lasts up to three days," Jasper said next, sensing my unease.

"That's fucked up," I mumbled, Brandon had mentioned he caught a lead, and that sent himself, as well as David and Adrian all the way out to Europe. He was vague on the details, but just assured they would call us and we'd fly out there. I had made it clear Gabriel was my kill and they'd respect my wishes.

"Which is why you need to stay where it's safe. You don't want to be a vampire?" Rosalie guessed.

"Fuck no," we said simultaneously and I could just feel the ripple of relief that flowed through the pack.

Immortality wasn't that all-amazing to me, all of the perks I didn't care much about. And based on what the pack told us a lot of your options for life evaporated in exchanged for what, a few extra centuries stuck in an unchanging body in a world that did nothing but change.

You couldn't go out in public without sparkling, unless it was cloudy or you globbed on make up and sun screen. You couldn't stay in one place too long, maybe a city if you moved around a lot but that ran the risk of coming across someone accidently.

You had a dangerous thirst and I already spent enough time dealing with unusual urges and I didn't need another one. You couldn't have kids. Now I wasn't sure where I stood on that particular subject, perhaps somewhere in the future. But right now? I had far too many enemies and I couldn't risk something like that. But I also couldn't deny that the aspect of having a son or daughter running around wasn't totally out of the question, in fact it was a little thrilling. At the moment, I just wasn't ready to give up the life I had, however dangerous.

"Then it's settled you'll be staying with the imprints in La Push," Jasper said, a little relieved. I grumbled my agreement.

Of all the Cullen's I'd say Jasper and ibonded the most. I think it was the fighting, the rest of the Cullen's were more or less pacifists. We seemed to be equally matched and I enjoyed the sparring we did together. It was the fact that we both tried that made it all the more challenging. Keeping control of our own slightly blood thirsty urges was also good practice.

I just shrugged, it wasn't that big a deal, though it sounded like an epic battle that we'd both probably enjoy.

"After all this is over, could you keep teaching me?" Bella asked quietly, as we both chatted quietly on the grass.

I'd mostly been going over breathing exercises with her, along with techniques to tap into her other senses and focus them to strengthen them, as well as how to control her center of gravity. She'd done quite with the training and I'd bumped up to full speed and strength, she'd last almost two minutes. That was more then enough time for someone to get to her in case things took a turn for the worse. She was a fast learner, resilient too.

"If I did continue to train you we wouldn't slow down the pace," I warned her. It was intense training, that lasted a year before it slowed down.

"I don't want to feel helpless anymore," I frowned at her a little, hadn't we been working on her self confidence? I mean, the more the trusted herself and saw her worth more clearly, the stronger she'd be, it would make her a better fighter. "Don't get me wrong, you've helped, truly. I'm not as shy or as nervous. I'm not scared, but I'm still the weak link and I'm still the one pushed behind a line of defense when things happen."

"Bella, there are aspects of my training that are rather dangerous, the deeper we go, the more you'll change and I'm not sure if it's something you'd want for yourself," I said slowly, gaging her reaction. I'd also noticed some of the pack and Cullen's glance at us, overhearing the discussion.

"Change me how?"

I hesitated for a moment, "when I first learned I became rather powerful and where I'm from that kind of ego can get you into a lot of trouble. I also got a temper I couldn't control and if someone got in my face, well, it would end badly. I truly don't want to see you struggle with something like that."

She frowned, looking down at her hands and then sighed. "You don't seem that bad to me," she said quietly.

"I'm sure I don't," I said in agreement. "But that doesn't mean there isn't a part of me I suppress when I'm around other people."

"Why would you suppress anything? Your amazing," she blurted out and then went bright red in embarrassment.

"Because I don't want to scare people anymore then I already do," I said truthfully.


	7. Innocence And Instinct

The day of the fight we went over to Sam's like we did everyday only this time it was different. You could just feel the air. Only the imprints were here along with Colin and Brady who probably close by in their wolf form. It took me a minute to put a name to the other woman here, it was little Claire's mother. I was surprised she'd adjusted so well to Embry imprinting on her baby, but didn't comment much on it. _Shit happens_, was all I'd said when Leah had told me.

_Leah_, I thought warily, shaking my head and closing the door behind me. I'd tried to convince Leah to stay behind with me, but she refused instantly, and I gave up once I realized why she was so deadset on going. She wanted to be close to Seth, who was with Bella and Edward up in the mountains. I'd even argued with Sam for an hour to let them stay behind me, my mind had gone straight back to the original track, that we would be handier in a fight.

"This blows," I said finally giving up on the video game my brother and I were stuck in. I coudn't concentrate for more then a minute.

I glanced at the time, it was only a few minutes before the fight. "Why are you getting so worked up?" Caleb asked frowning.

"I dont know," I said uneasily. I just had a bad feeling about all of this. It was the reason I'd put my gear on before I left. You just never know.

After a moment of silence the door burst open, and we all jumped turning to Brady. "There are a dozen more vampires then we thought!"

"What?" I asked in disbelief, standing right away.

"Sam sent for Colin, he's just left," he said in a rush, "he told me to stay here and keep communication open. He wanted me to let you know to prepare to run in case they get through."

"Fuck that are they getting through!" I said, pulling off my shirt and kicking off my shoes.

"Your not going!" Caleb said grabbing my arm as I went to unbuckle my pants. I knew there was a reason I put my gear on. I twisted out of his grasp and he glared at me.

"Leah is out there, and they need help. I'm going!" I said ripping my arm from his grasp and then shucked off my jeans next. He sighed heavily.

"I'm going with you then," I just nodded and then gave Brady a small smile and then we were out the door and running.

We were moving at full speed as we flew through the woods and I burst into the field, causing several people to look at us in surprise and then much to my own shock Caleb was gone. In his place was a huge black wolf with small patches of white and sivler. "Holy shit!" I said in disbelief and then something cold and hard collided with me.

We rolled and I struck out hard, kicking them off easily. Someone got there arms around me but I jumped into the air, flipping over them and then kicked them hard in the back. The blow sent them flying right into the other vampire that had first attacked me.

I spotted Leah instantly, and was relieved to find her side by side with Jake, both of them fighting as a team. Though the moment of hesitance sent me flying to the ground yet again. I grasped the ground and then threw myself back into the air and flipped onto a rock. Sure there were a few extra vamps, but where were the other's they'd spoken of.

As if reading my mind Alice shouted at me, "it's someone else, they've gone for Bella and Edward!"

I moved instantly and then flew across the clearing and into the woods. Leah and I shared looks and she gave me a look, 'protect Seth'. I nodded and ran straight past the treeline, ignoring Alice's shouting about terrible abilities.

I found them easily enough, they'd given us very descriptive instructions on how to get here. Well the pack more like, but they'd told us, and given us details of what the site looked like. Just in case purposes I guess.

I found Bella on the ground, bleeding from a cut along her arm and cloaked vampire stood over her. He moved to hold her down and I gripped his wrist. Seth was in danger as well, but he was holding his own for the moment. "That's not very nice, picking on people smaller then you," he looked too surprise to react and I flipped kicking him hard and sending him into the vampire that was standing over Seth.

Then pain gripped me. It was more suprising then anything and I just froze, unable to move or think much past the pain. At least no yet. "Jane, no!" Bella shouted, stumbling up and all I could do was stare for what felt like ages. "Stop!"

Then I just focused on everything around me rather then anything going on within me. The adrenaline had given me the extra boost, but now I pushed for it, causing it to double in power.

I let out a shaky breath and then squeezed my eyes shut before managing to twist around her and stare in disbelief. It was a tiny blonde girl that was causing me this pain. It was a mental power. It was a dirty trick, but it's not like I hadn't faught in crippling pain before. No, instead I channeled my adrenaline even more and disolved my core of gravity and then lunged for her.

We collided, toppling to the ground I punched her hard in the face, cracking it, so hard it hurt and split my knuckles. "Ow!" I said shaking my hand in the air as they hurt, now what was a big mistake. She had managed to manoeuvre herself so well that kicked me in and hard too.

I felt myself go flying through the air and Bella didn't get out of the way in time. Our heads smashed together and I wrapped my arms around her and angled us well enough so that when we crashed into to the wall of the cliff it was me that hit it, not her.

We crashed to the ground and luckily she landed on her feet, and I just kind of toppled like I was stuffed animal or something. "Oh, that hurt," I moaned, and she helped me stand.

"How did you do that?" Jane asked standing up and staring at us, another boy took his side.

"Do what?" I asked, holding my back as it felt like it was burning, every time I breathed it hurt. Like a fire poker had been taken to certain parts of my skin. It's probably all cut up, and based on Jane's expression she could smell the blood. Great.

"I'm really starting to hate living here," I mumbled to myself.

"Alec can make you feel nothing," Bella said quickly, realizing who the other vampire was.

"I'm shocked," I said sarcastically and she frowned.

"Turn them both, Aro will be pleased," I felt my eyes widen a little and then angled my body so that I was in front of Bella somewhat. The look in her eyes told me eveything I needed to know, she wanted to help. I glanced around for a moment, Edward was still preoccupied with two vampires, and Seth was holding his own with two of them as well. Great, just fantastic.

"Fuck off with that shit, you bite me and you better say your prayers because I will rip you to shreds," I warned them coldly.

They just grinned and launched themselves at me. I grabbed Bella by the hand, and she was already waiting on me. I couldn't help the swell of pride I had for her. She was scared sure, but she was in pretty good control of herself, she was moving rather then panicking and not many people could say they could do that.

She spun in the air, kicking both of them out and away and hard too. She landed a little dizzily and this time when they ran at us, we both back up several steps and then jumped into the air. They ran straight into the cliff, and the impact was hard enough to send small pieces of rocks falling to the ground. The earth shook some and everyone lost their footing. Edward and Seth took our side, both of them breathing heavily and as the two Volturi guards turned back to us and saw just how outnumbered they were.

Then Edward hit the ground in pain, Bella stepped in front of him and she glared hatefully and then he collapsed panting. "If you ever do that again, I will your head off personally," she promised, a smirk on her face, "and dont think I can't either."

They left.

Bella turned to Edward and pulled him into her arms tightly, and he returned it, if a little breathless. I felt a ball of fur tackle me to the ground and I lost my breath in surprise. I turned to face Seth, who was grinning wickedly and he licked my face.

"Ew! Seth, gross!" I shouted, but smiling nonetheless. I sat up, if a little unsteadily and he tilted his head at me, still grinning. "Damn straight we kicked ass!"

"Well we had good teachers," Bella said behind me, almost sad, "your back is pretty cut up, maybe we should get Carlisle to check it out."

I shrugged and then cringed a little. It did hurt. I'd pushed the pain back in my mind but once the fight was over it had returned. "I'm not that sore, I'll get Sam and them to look at it when I get home," I said awkwardly. The thought of being in a house full of vampires with fresh blood all over me wasnt totally appealing.

"Your going to need stitches, I insist," Edward said giving me what was supposed to be a welcoming smile. I sighed. "Besides Leah's been arguing to come check on you and there waiting in the clearing."

"Sure, whatever, I dont think I can run all the way back to the house anyways," I said feeling the warm stickiness sliding down my back. It was kind of hot and I realized it was making the pain worse. As if my own blood was making the wound more painful. What bullshit.

"You got her Seth?" Edward asked, as Bella wrapped her arms around his back.

Seth nodded and then licked my hand and the nodded at his back. "Too bad we couldn't put a saddle on you," he snorted, rolling his eyes at me and I climbed onto his back.

Everyone was waiting when we got to the clearing and both Leah and Caleb were at my side before I was even halfway off of Seth. They were whining a lot too, I turned to them scowling a little. "You could've told me you could hulk out," I said glaring at my brother. He shifted from foot to foot and I couldn't resist the next comment. "I dont care if you are officially a La Push nudist, brother, if you start walking around the house naked I will blow up your xbox!"

Leah chortled and made what sounded like the wolfy version of a laugh and I smiled a little. "Actually, this is the first time Caleb had phased, I'm surprised it took so long," Edward commented, Bella under his arm and both Jasper and Carlisle standing close behind.

"Your in a lot of pain, what happened?" Jasper asked frowning at me, "and how are you still standing."

"All part of my awesomeness, I'm impervious to pain!" Bella just rolled her eyes at me.

"She managed to fight Jane when she used her power on her," Edward said, rather impressed with me. Everyone looked pretty surprised now.

"It is what it is. Just one of the many things I learned," I said shrugging and Carlisle stepped closer to me and I turned slightly.

Leah nudged my hand and I began running my hands through her fur. I couldn't stop staring at Caleb though. "I think I'm going to call you Spot," I said suddenly.

He glared at me and Bella burst out laughing, along with Leah. Jasper and Edward just grinned at one another. "Yes, you'll need stitches. Would you mind accompanying us back to the house, I have my kit there," Carlisle said, breaking through our amusement.

But Caleb was growling lowly at me, "my brother doesn't seem to want me too."

"I understand, but your bleeding quite heavily and as far as I can tell none of the La Push pack know how to complete stitches," he said slowly, mostly to my brother rather then me.

"He wants to come with us," Edward said next pausing, probably reading Leah or Seth's mind to hear whatever he was thinking. I doubted reading his mind would be any easier then before. I figured it would only get stronger, now that the rest of his body had enhanced because of his new wolf form. "Sam said it was alright to join us."

"Great, let's move out," I said sighing.

Once Carlisle fixed me up, Bella drove us across the border back home. I couldn't run because I'd pull the stitches. I was sore and exhausted by the time we finally made it home. Thankfully no one was home so I didn't have to make up anymore crap excuses.

We were just unlocking the door when a red buick pulled into the driveway. All of us turned, and I stiffened when I realized who was getting out of the car. It was the last person I ever expected to see.

At once, Caleb blurted out, "what the fuck are you doing here?" When I said, "mom?"

She moved up to the porch and I instinctively stepped back, and Leah put an arm around me to keep me at her side. "What do you want?" Caleb snapped angrily.

"I wanted to see you, I miss you guys," she said sweetly, a smile on her face as if she was totally oblivious to his hostility.

"Leave," I said coldly, ignoring the surprised flash look Leah gave me.

"Haven't you missed me?" she asked sadly.

"Leave," I repeatedly, more forcefully.

"Go inside Kira," Caleb said, not taking his eyes off of her.

Leah nodded slightly, guiding me in, Caleb didn't even have to look at Seth to get the point across and followed in after us. "That's your mom?" Leah asked quietly, as she helped me out of my clothes in my bedroom.

"The one and only," I said a little bitterly. She lifted the shirt off me gently, careful of the stitches across my back. I'd had to get two sets of stitches, one on my right shoulder blade, and a long jagged one down the left side of my back.

Both of the gashes had cut into my tattoo, I'd need to get that fixed once the scar had gone down. We tended to heal a little more quickly then normal people. It had been one of the unexplainable changes we'd gone through after all the training. Before we healed at the same rate other people did, now? Not so much. I figured in about three or four days I could take the stitches out and a week or so later most of the thicker scarring will have gone down.

"I thought your mom was missing," she said quietly, and I felt her warm fingers trace the wings of my tattoo. It gave me goose bumps and I shivered a little. I felt her press a kiss over my left shoulder blade and smiled slightly.

"She was missing, she went missing after my twelfth birthday, and a little over two years ago she came back," I said sighing.

"Something must've happened, for you to not have told your father," she said, almost hesitantly.

"Yeah," said, chuckling humorlessly. "I was at a party when she showed up. It was a disaster. Caleb was upstairs with some random and I was playing beer pong with friends from school. She just strolls in out of nowhere."

I remembered that night well. It wasn't a night I cared to think about often. But it's hard to supress the worst memories. And we tended to remember plenty, maybe the training did that as well. Made our minds sharper, it sure as hell made everything else stronger.

_**Two Years Ago**_

_The game was coming to the end, with me and my friend Jordan in the lead. Our opponents had two cups left, and we had three. It was our shot. I took a smal breath and then tossed the ping pong ball, sinking it perfectly. Everyone around us cheered, this wasn't that exciting, but most of us were hammered, myself included. I didn't even know where my brother had disappeared off to._

_"Last one," Jordan said from my left and I just grinned. _

_I took aim, and then as I tossed the ball, someone shouted my name. The shout had broken through the thick excited silence in the room and I recognized that voice. I jumped about a foot in the air, completely missing the shot and spinning aroudn to stare. _

_There she was, a woman I hadn't seen in two years and yet looked exactly the same. She rushed towards me, enveloping me in a hug and I tensed. Everyone looked a little confused, "who are you?" Jordan asked, when no one else spoke. _

_"I'm her mother, come with me, we need to talk," she said seriously, taking my hand and guiding me through the crowd. When we got to the door I resisted, "where have you been?" I asked harshly, finally finding my voice again. _

_"I'll tell you in the car, come with me, we dont have much time," she said, almost pleadingly. I didn't resist when she pulled me out of the house. _

_"Where are we going?" I asked confused, suddenly getting a bad feeling. Something felt wrong here. _

_A man was sitting in the drivers side when I crawled into the backseat, "what about Caleb, shouldn't he come to?" Maybe if I hadn't been so drunk I would've gone to get my brother. But I was just so confused and relieved to see my mom again, it hadn't crossed my mind. No one had heard or seen her in years, so where had she been? _

_"No no, were just going to have a bit of girl time first, we'll come back for your brother later," she said, an obvious lie. _

_"Have you talked to dad?" I asked, uneasy. I looked over at the driver. He didn't look familiar, and I didn't know just know what to call it, but he looked rough, dangerous. The men your parents warn you to steer clear of. _

_"Not yet sweetie, I need to see my baby girl first," her voice sounded way to sweet for my tastes. I hated people like that and it was weird hearing it come from my own mother. _

_"Were just talking right? Were staying in the city, I dont want to go anywhere without Caleb," I presisted. I wanted my brother. My mind was fuzzy and I suddenly felt sick, whether from the alcohol or the current situation I found myself in, I couldn't be sure._

_"Of course," my mother said, almost absent mindedly. I was beginning to panic now. This was wrong somehow, just wrong. How did she even know where I was in the first place? She was clearly distracted and by the looks of it, scared too. What was going on?_

_I searched my pockets subtlely, and realized my phone wasn't on me. I did have my pocket knife, I always carried one with me. When I was walking to meet Caleb a few months ago, I'd gotten mugged. It was rather unbelievable considering I had been on a main street that night and there were a dozen people close by. But the next morning, Caleb went out and bought us both pocket knives. I never left the house without it after that. _

_No one spoke in the car, and it felt both tense and awkward. This was too weird for me. And I could handle weird. I slipped the knife from my back pocket, opening it achingly slow to keep the click from sounding. I held the end upside down in my palm, sliding the blade up the sleeve of my jacket, and then pushed the end up to keep my hands free._

_"Where are we going?" I asked, hoping to sound calm and excited. Well the excited part didn't need to be faked, my internal panic was helping out in that department. "And where have you been for the last two years?"_

_The man answered this time, "with me of course."_

_"This is my new husband," my mom said, smiling up at him as if he was God's gift. He just looked like your everyday thug to me. With a side of misplaced ego to add to it._

_"How can you marry someone else when your still married to dad?" I asked confused. That didn't make much sense. Isn't that illegal? Not that I cared much for the law. "Scratch that, I dont care. Where are we going?"_

_I looked over at the clock, it was two in the morning. Caleb had disappeared a little before the beer pong game started. I think. Hopefully he'd noticed my disappearance and if not someone would've told him I took off. Everyone knew how we were. We would never leave, leave without the other, at least not without a good reason. Everyone also knew our mother was missing, this would've been big talk and someone must've gone up to find him. Probably Jordan. He hung out with us the most. _

_"I just need to see some friends," my mom said, in that same distracted voice. I shifted in the seat a little, getting a look at her under the street lights. I noticed a few things I hadn't at the party, too surprised I suppose. Her hands were shaking, and they both seemed to have flop sweat all over them. Her pupils were dilated and she had bags under her eyes, and she looked pale. She was either really fucking high, or she was jonsing for something. That just tipped the scale for me. I needed out of here. _

_"Stop the car," I said instantly. I went to grab the handle and pull and the doors locked. I tugged on it, "let me out! Now!"_

_"I'm sorry baby, but I can't let you do that, I need you, if you love me you'll help us," my mom said in an apologetic tone. Great, now she was guilt tripping me. Fortunately, i didn't feel a whole lot of guilt for much._

_I tugged some more, and even managed to pull the button up, but it still wouldn't budge. "We put the child lock on before you got in," the man said simply. Oh fuck me. _

_"What's going on?" I asked coldly, gripping the end of the knife. Neither of them spoke and I punched the back of the driver seat hard. The car spun a little and my mom reached for me, suddenly iiritated as her 'husband' swore. _

_"Are you trying to get us killed, sit still and shut up," she snapped, when I smacked her hand away from my face. _

_"Then let me the fuck out!" you know, when we finally pulled up to a house, I thought they really about to let me out. How stupid was that, I wasn't nearly that lucky. _

_Two men left another house, sporting the same clothing as my mom new husband and they opened the back door. I was pulled out roughly and then shoved towards the house. I swore heavily, and when I finally got out of the tight grip around my arm I took off running. I didn't make it very far. _

_I was tackled to the ground and my chin smashed off the ground. I bit on my tongue, causing blood to pore into my mouth and something hard pressed to my head. It was a gun. I paused, unsure of what to do. "Get up," I stood slowly, staring at the gun in distaste. This was fucked up._

_"Walk," the man ordered and I couldn't help but roll my eyes and turned back towards the house. _

_My mom entered behind the rest of the man, the man at her side and I realized something. These weren't friends, she looked crazy nervous. I got the feeling she owed them money or something. I was in way over my head. I didn't have a gun. I was drunk, though realizing how much trouble I really was in sobered me up some. _

_"So this is Katrina's daughter," a taller man stood, several others were in the house, and none of them looked friendly. _

_"Her name's Kira," my mom said, giving him a smile. _

_"Well she is quite beautiful, even for a child," the man said, giving me a creepy smile and I swear, I threw up a little in my mouth. _

_"Fuck off," I said in disgust._

_"Big talk for a little girl," he said, moving towards me to look me up and down. Oh this just could not get any worse, "how old are you sweet heart?"_

_"What's it to you?" I retorted coldly, "I want to know what the fuck is going on here and I want to know now!"_

_"isn't it obvious? Your mom cut her and Vince a nice deal when they came to me. They owe us about ten grand and we came to an agreement. She gives us you, and we call it even."_

_"What the fuck mom?" I shouted at her, in disbelief. Oddly enough the only thing that got me was, "I'm certainly worth more then ten grand." _

_A few people chuckled, as if this were a joke. But she wasn't even looking at me, she was looking at the guy she was selling me too. "So how about it? We good now?"_

_"No nobody's good now. Have you lost your mind!" I shouted, pure rage just flowed through me. I rushed her, hitting her hard and she toppled to the ground, with myself on top of her. I took another shot, pleased when her nose started bleeding. Someone pulled me off of her and I shoved the body away from me, and then something else occurred to me. They all had guns, I manoeuvered my body some, and then subtly wrapped my hand around it. _

_I twisted the gun, eventually finding the safety and I'd been so focused on the gun that I hadn't realized someone had swung at me. Pain ripped through the lower right side of my face and I squeezed the trigger without thinking. A shot sounded and I hit the ground, jaw throbbing. The man who'd been holding me had collapsed. _

_Everyone almost seemed to freeze in shock, and I turned and raised the gun, pulling the trigger four more times at the guy who I guessed had been in charge. One of the shots hit him in the shoulder, the other managed to hit the guy right next to him. My last shot got him in the neck. _

_The other people were shooting at me, I scrambled up, rushing for the door when it burst open, and two men grabbed onto me. They didn't look like the others did, well sort of. But they didn't seem to be covered in scars and dress like they squated in crap houses._

_The gun disappeared from my grasp and I glared hatefully. "Who are you?" one of them asked, and the other walked into the room, "what the hell is going on here?"_

_"She killed them," one guy accused, lowering his gun._

_The two newcomers looke rather surprised with this. Mom and her new husband were long gone. "Who are you?" the dark haired one asked, more curious and thoughtful then angry._

_I said nothing. He turned his gaze back on the rest of the room. Three dead bodies, one man bleeding from the shoulder, and the other one looking like he couldn't decide whether to run or stick around. He did look kind of scared though. _

_"Where's our money?" the other one, the blonde asked, having checked everyone elses still bodies for a pulse._

_"Your holding it," he said nervously, eyes flickering to me and then back to the man still holding my arm. Though it wasn't some crazy hard grip, just more unsure of who I was I guess. He turned to look at me, not really understanding. _

_"I dont have any money," was all I said, shrugging. I had maybe forty bucks in my bank account and that had been sitting in there for weeks. I'd lost my bank card and I was too lazy to go get another one._

_"Explain," he said, not looking away from me, but releasing his hold on me. _

_"The woman that owed us ten grand made a deal with Marcus. She told us she had a daughter that we could take," I snorted slightly at that. What a bitch. "Marcus called and told you we had your payment when they were on their way, we were going to hand her over to you."_

_The man just staring at me, the dark haired one, who I had to admit was devilishly handsome seemed unamused. "You were going to give us the girl, as payment?" he summed up. A sigh escaped, and I pin pointed where it came from. The man I'd shot in the shoulder had just died._

_"Y-yes." _

_He raised his arm up, holding my gaze, and then pulled the trigger on the man. He hit the ground with a whole the size of a nickel in his forehead. I quirked an eyebrow, and he lifted his chin slightly, "what's your name?"_

_"Kira," I said, taking a step back and observing the dead bodies around the room. I wasn't sure what was going to happen now. I just wanted Caleb, he would make sense of all this for me. _

_"I'm Brandon, this is David," he introduced, tone a little lighter and more welcoming. _

_"Did you really shoot all these guys?" David asked, looking from one body to the next. _

_"Well I wasn't about to let someone turn me into their bitch," I said as if it were obvious. _

_I felt oddly calm. Maybe I was going into shock. it didn't feel like it though, perhaps the alcohol had helped me stay calm. I'd just killed three men, without batting an eyelash. I didn't really even feel bad. In fact, it felt kind of empowering. Like chains had been lifted from me. I felt strong. I'd gone up against people who could've easily hurt me or killed me and I won. Caleb would be proud. _

_"How old are you, sixteen?" David asked curiously. _

_"Fourteen," I said, a little awkwardly now. They shared disbelieving looks. _

_"Do you need a ride home?" Brandon asked next, eyebrows raised. _

_"I dont know, are you going to trap me in the car and kidnap me like my mom did?" I asked bitterly, a little more harshly then I'd intended. But that had really pissed me off. What parent does that?_

_"No," they said in sync and then I hesitated. _

_"Do you have a phone I can use, my brothers probably looking for me," I said unsure. Caleb would come and get me. _

_"Yeah," David handed me his phone._

_I was right. Caleb had been looking for me and he was completely freaked out. I'd told him where I was and he sped over. David and Brandon seemed decent enough. They had this strange look in their eyes though. Sort of twisted. _

_When Caleb arrived, he was at a loss for words when he'd seen and heard what had happened. Then he was just angry, very, very angry. David and Brandon burned down the house while I explained this evening events to him. He couldn't believe I'd killed four people either. I hadn't even needed to use my pocket knife. Everyone had been watching me and by the time I would've finally gotten it out, they'd all have guns pointed at me. _

_I felt no guilt i realized, when i turned to lean over the space between the passenger seat and the drivers seat. I watched the blaze of the house, sort of fascinated. It almost seemed symbolic somehow. Perhaps it was because a part of me had died in that house, and whatever it was, it was burning to ash. The evidence of whatever had been stripped from me tonight was now gone, floating up to the sky and stars. _

_I didn't feel sorry for killing those men. Did that make me a bad person? And if it did make me a bad person, did i care? I didn't think so, but everything had just happened moments ago, so maybe it hadn't caught up to me yet. It was a cheap lie, a good person would feel horrible about it. _

_They could've had children, maybe they were forced there in impossible circumstances like i had been. But oddly enough, i didn't even care if they'd wanted to be there or not. I could've deluded myself into thinking i didn't have a choice, that it was my life or theirs, but that was bullshit. I'm sure if i'd truly wanted out of there, that i could've come up with a plan that didn't involve murder. It felt natural, holding that gun in my hand. Like instinct, for a few short seconds i had power over life and death. And i liked it._

_"How you holding up?" Brandon asked, all of us agreeing to talk behind a bar down the street rather then a house we burned down. _

_I was sitting on top of the trunk, both of us had stayed quiet for the last minute or so. "Fine i guess," what else could i say? "And here i always thought i had bad luck."_

_Brandon and David shared looks again, having yet another silent conversation. "It doesn't take luck to get out of a situation like that, it takes skill and quick thinking," Brandon said giving me a crooked smile. Caleb was frowning though. He didn't seem to like Brandon for some reason._

_I just shrugged, i was sticking with luck. There was no way in hell i'd be able to get out a situation like that nearly unscathed, a second time. Brandon and David seemed to be leading up to something, i could feel it. "Do you mind if i check upon you? Make sure your doing okay?" Brandon asked me, clearly ignoring my brothers scowl. _

_"Yeah, sure," i said nodding slightly. _

_It wasn't until later on that night, as i replayed the scene over and over again that i figured out what i'd lost. Some kind of innocence. It had changed me somehow, and unknowingly. The normal fears i'd had seemed to dull and weaken. Something to overcome, rather then avoid. I hadn't felt the change, transformation or whatever it was called, it happened so quickly i hadn't noticed. I was a different person now, my eyes had been opened whether i wanted them to or not. I was a new person. A new Kira had been born. And i liked her._

_The four of us had agreed instantly that it would be best if we kept what had transpired tonight to ourselves. We went home, and said it was an old family friend that had showed up at the party, not our mother and that she'd only resembled our mother. It was easy to make people believe I'd seen my mom, I was drunk after all. We didn't hear from her again after that._

Leah had sat through the story quietly, expressions ranging from pissed off to sad. I'd ommitted the details like names and how good it had felt to kill someone, but I'd been pretty clear about everything else. I trusted Leah, for the most part anyways. I wanted her to know some things, like the less messier reasons as to why I was the way I was. Believe it or not, my mom was one of the less messier details.

I wouldn't lie to her, though it depended on the situation and what she was asking about. I didnt feel the need to and our whole relationship was already covered up as a lie. God, our entire relationship was built on secrets right now. The fact that no one knew about us might have something to do with it. We hadn't spoken about telling someone, I hadn't really even considered it. How far could a relationship like this even go? The answer, not very far.

She didn't seem to know what to say now. But she didn't need to, seeing as Caleb had entered the room. "She's gone."

"What'd you say to her?" I asked curiously.

"That if she ever touched you or came within touching distance of you that I'd put a bullet in her chest," he said simply. He meant it too. As far as he was concerned we didn't have a mother anymore. "You going to be okay?"

"Just peachy."


	8. What We Are

I was relieved when Caleb tailed our mom to make sure she was really leaving. I didn't trust her to just leave because we threatened her. My guess was she was going to show up here in the next little while, probably with that guy she'd been illegally married too. Man, that was such a fucked up night, I thought replaying the memory over for the tenth time since she'd shown up.

Leah and I remained in bed most of the evening. Sue and my dad had left about an hour after we had this morning. All four of us had forgotten about there trip down south. Some kind of getaway thing. My guess is that it was Sue's idea, I don't think I'd be able to have sex in a house knowing both of my children could here me. Usually if I wanted to go somewhere all I had to do was ask one of the guys to take me.

"Do you think I'm going to wolf out?" I asked, breaking the silence between Leah and I. We were half way through the last Final Destination movie. We'd been quiet most of the night, both of us so wrapped up in our own thoughts that we hadn't felt the need to break the silence.

"Good question, Sam says it's weird that your brother took so long to phase after moving here. Everyone else phased within the first year the Cullen's moved back. Just being within touching distance should've triggered it," she explained, tilting her head as the worry seeped into her eyes, "would being a wolf bother you?"

"Probably," I said shrugging. "Actually, yeah, it would. Not for the reasons you'd think though."

"Go on," she said nodding.

"Well I've spent years training to be strong and use my body as a weapon or tool to get what I want. Getting the senses, the strength and speed from being a wolf just feels like everything I've worked hard at was for nothing."

"Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me if you phased. Girls aren't supposed to, but their were only a few of them when the treaty was made so only a few of us change, never more then two or three. They weren't here long either. Once they moved in and everything started getting out of control it was like a bunch of dominoes' got knocked over. It just didn't stop."

"You don't think more people are going to keep shifting do you?" I asked warily. That's all we needed a bunch of hormonal teenage mutated wolves running around.

"Hard to say, I don't think so. Sam was the first one to change," her eyes changed, a little sadly and I kissed her shoulder lightly in what I hoped for was comforting. I couldn't exactly take her hand with popcorn butter all over my hands. "After that they changed from oldest to youngest."

"Imagine that eh, a bunch of eight year old werewolves," I shook my head to clear the weird image. Not as awkward and peculiar as I would've thought. Everything seemed possible nowadays.

"I didn't even know you were Quileute, must be distantly related or something," she said perplexed.

"I'm sure there are more packs around the world, could be from a different community or something. I really don't think we have Quileute blood in us," I said frowning. I'd been thinking about this all day. I knew my family, and there were no natives from this tribe anywhere in it. It had to be from some other community that our ancestors had lived in.

"True," she said, lifting a redbull up to take a drink. I decided to change the subject.

"Are you going to come watch my rugby match this week? If it rains I'll take off all my clothes and I'll wrestle in the mud for you," she coughed, practically spitting the redbull out all over the bed and she continued coughing. I guess she hadn't expected me to say anything like that.

I chuckled at her totally flustered expression as the image rolled around in her head. "No, it's okay," she said after a long contemplative moment. I just leaned over and kissed her instead of making a smart remark. No need to hurt anyone's feelings for nothing. I still need to come up with good preparations for her birthday. Maybe I would enlist Brandon's help for that, because I wanted to take her out of town for a day and into Seattle. It was a bad idea, but I could get some help with that.

I was thinking something along the lines of the Seattle Aquarium, a nice dinner, maybe Pike Place Market. I wondered if she'd even been to any of those places. I'd have to ask Seth when I got the chance. I had about two days to set all of this up. Her birthday was Tuesday, but I'd gone through with crazier plans and still had a good turn out, this wouldn't be any different.

**-xxxxx-**

Seth and I sat down at our usual table in science, and I noticed one or two people's eyes flicker to me appreciatively. "Mom said your doing something for Leah for her birthday," Seth started.

I blinked, I'd been just about to ask him about that. "Yeah, I've meaning to ask you, has she ever been to the Seattle aquarium or the Pike Place Market?" I asked curiously.

"Seattle has an aquarium?" he asked in surprise.

I quirked an eyebrow, "I'll take that as a 'no' what about Pike Place?"

"I don't think so, I heard that place can be pricey sometimes," he said, shrugging slightly.

"Seth and Kira, your awfully chatty back there, anything you'd like to share?" the teacher broke in before I could respond. I gave the teacher a dark look and he almost seemed to squirm under it. Most people did, so it didn't surprise me that this little pathetic normal was the same way. Seth glanced from the teacher to me, and even he looked a little surprised with the look I'd given the teacher. The teacher whose been harping on me for days, and even got me detention for basically nothing. A teacher I really wanted to teach a very important lesson to. It was quite tempting.

"No," Seth said, when the rest of the room seemed to go dead silent. After my brothers display of protectiveness in the cafeteria, most people had learned to stay away from me. Caleb was two seconds from sending that kid into the afterlife, they didn't seem to think I was dangerous. At least not until this petty pathetic teacher had gotten on my last nerve.

The teacher startled, having gone pale as he stared at me, and then just turned and carried on with the lesson. I wasn't sure if anyone else could see it, but Seth and I had. His hand shook, for the rest of the class. By the time the bell had gone, he had flop sweat all over him.

"What was that all about?" Seth murmured as we exited the room.

"He's getting on my nerves, I'm not used to people stepping over the line with me so often," I said a little helplessly. Seth gave me an odd look, but then shrugged. He seemed to understand for the most part. They'd lectured me on the rage issues the wolves had and how often they would get upset. I was the same in a way.

Once people understood that Caleb and I weren't to be messed with, people steered clear. I did as I pleased back home with little to no consequence. I could walk in and out of class when I chose, teachers would only flinch if they called me out without realizing who they were talking to. We simply weren't people you would want to irritate because our wrath and tempers became legendary. Here? Here, no one knew me. It was only a matter of time before I snapped on someone. God knows how badly that would end.

"Don't mention my plans to Leah, please?" I asked him as we headed for our second period class.

"I take it no one else is invited?" he asked, trying not to look hurt.

"Well your mom says she has a hard time during her birthday and takes off. I want to ease her into it. We can have a party on Wednesday night or something, family maybe?" I suggested and he just nodded thoughtfully. Ignoring the tinge of guilt I got we entered our second period class, going to sit down, more people had been looking at me since the little episode with the science teacher, but I couldn't care less. I didn't feel guilt and when I did, I shut it out before it could manifest anymore then it had just making itself known. I was starting to feel more, and that kind of bothered me too.

I wasn't accustomed to emotion anymore. They were so foreign to me and I could feel the stress causing headaches, all because of some kind of emotional overload. I felt the simple stuff, wants for things I could get with the snap of my fingers, occasional rage when people pushed me too far, more annoyance and irritation, now more then ever. But then there were other things. Like fondness, I wasn't fond of things, sure I enjoyed them, but that wasn't the same as being fond of something. I was fond of Leah, so much that it unnerved and made me worry. People like us weren't supposed to have intense emotion and I felt intensely about Leah. It was all going to end disastrously. We didn't have a future. No one knew about us, so what the hell would I do when we finally called it quits? She'd realize sooner or later that this couldn't continue much longer, but I hadn't experienced loss or grief over someone ever since I'd tapped into my dark self. I didn't want to contemplate the consequences that these emotions made for me, but it was something I thought about constantly.

Before I knew it second period was over and we were filing out for lunch. I was halfway to the cafeteria when Jake and Caleb caught up to us. "Were playing you guys in gym class today. Should be an interesting rugby match," Caleb said, casting me a wide grin. "Apparently your coach thinks you guys can take us. All you little girls up against us seniors, you don't stand a chance."

"We'll wipe the field with your shit eating grin Caleb, just watch," I said confidently. I was only confident, because the team had me. I could kick some serious ass. Sure, I was still sore with the stitches down my back. But we healed at a slight quicker rate, energy channeling, and when I'd gone to bed and woken up, I did it for two hours. I was tender, but if I wrapped them up and was mindful, I would be perfectly fine. I glanced over at my brother, who was wearing the same confident look I had. Okay maybe we wouldn't win. I knew he wouldn't take it easy on me.

"Why don't you guys ever eat?" Jake asked once we'd all sat down. Most of the table seemed to have wondered the same thing, based on their curious looks.

"We don't get hungry much," I said shrugging, "that's when we eat, when we feel hungry."

"You look way too skinny, sounds more like your anorexic," Quil said, again with the non existent brain to mouth filter. Quil seemed to just blurt things out around me, I wasn't sure if it was because of me, or if he was always like that. I'd never bothered to ask or point it out.

"We eat, we just don't eat if we don't feel the need to. Leah and I snack almost every night," I said, feeling the need to defend myself. That's all I needed, someone pointing out we never eat to my parents. We ate as a family a lot, but we always just picked at our plates and ate our fill, which admittedly, was never much.

"You guys are really close now," Jared said in a strange tone. Almost everyone shot him a look, that clearly said 'shut up'.

"You sound surprised, is that a problem?" I asked carefully. He blushed a little, and then glanced at his imprint, who wasn't paying a whole lot of attention. I thought Kim was okay, she was your average girl, in a sweet shy kind of pretty way. She wasn't much of anything special, but the couple was head over heels for one another, so who was I to judge?

"Leah's just kind of always been a lone wolf," Jake said, agreeing with Jared apparently.

"I know, that's why I like her. She's her own person, look around and tell me at least sixty percent of the room aren't similar versions of each other," I had a point, everyone seemed to agree reluctantly. "She fascinates me," but that was way too much to say and I realized that a moment too late. No one else found that strange, aside from Caleb, who was staring at me wordlessly. He didn't like that much.

"I'm glad your friends with her, she needs you," Seth said quietly, giving me a sheepish smile. But I couldn't look at my brother.

Sure, everyone knew I was fond of Leah, and up until now Caleb and Brandon, and my other brothers didn't mind. Though I hadn't shared the extent of my interest in her. Now Caleb knew that I was getting close with her. They'd always warned me not to get close to people, the pack didn't know that though. I was meant to sever emotional ties if they weren't like us. Leah related on some levels more so than others, but she wasn't nearly as dark or as twisted as myself or the others, not by a long shot. Therefore, I shouldn't hold anymore then a careful friendship with her, which is what everyone believed. The simple fact of the matter was that our relationship wasn't cautious or simple, and now I was busted. I'd been so careful not to let on and I hadn't even thought about what I was about say. I really was getting careless and now I was in trouble for caring too much, isn't that fucked up?

"Yeah," I said, biting the inside of my lip in fear. What would happen now? It's not like they were rules, they were more like guidelines. Or at least I'd always thought they were. What could consequences possibly be?

My mind tugged in a direction and I followed the pull, glancing over to see Brandon making his way towards us. I lit up a little, pleased to see my other brother. "Hey," I greeted him, standing to hug him. He returned it, giving me a kiss on the forehead.

I'd texted Brandon before we'd left second period. I was enlisting his help for tomorrow. One, I would need someone to do planning, because I'd be far too busy tonight, and two, I need someone to watch my back tomorrow. He would shadow us, but I wasn't worried about him watching us. He'd be too busy keeping a look out for possible threats to do more then keep tabs on us. I would just need to be discreet with Leah and we almost always were in public.

_When the days are cold_

_And the cards all fold_

_And the saints we see_

_Are all made of gold_

"Where you going?" Caleb asked, a strange almost fatherly tone in his voice. Great, here it comes. "Brandon, we need to talk."

"Sure, let's go outside," Brandon said, raising his eyebrows in question at me. I just cringed and walked out ahead of them. People had watched us, pack included because Brandon had never come to the school before. It was a little strange, seeing such a personal greeting between myself and an older boy like Brandon, but again, it was normal for me.

We got out to the parking lot, a small bit of rain falling and as soon as the doors shut Caleb ratted me out. "Kira's been getting way too close to Leah," Caleb warned our brother, clear disapproval in his voice.

Brandon gave me an unreadable look and I rolled my eyes and just crossed my arms defiantly. "I have not. She's my sister in law, I care for her the way a sister would. Caleb over-exaggerating the whole thing." I'd always been a convincing liar, and all of my brothers new that, so it wasn't surprising to see the doubtful look on Brandon's face. Caleb knew I was bullshitting though and gave me a 'don't fuck around' look, I glared.

"Oh yes, I'm sure I just imagined you calling Leah 'fascinating'," Caleb said mockingly.

"Screw you, she intrigues me, she's the girl I would've become if I hadn't met Brandon and the others," I said truthfully, still defensive and angry. It was true though. If I hadn't unlocked the secrets of my own mentality, then I would've turned out exactly Leah, minus the wolf thing. Probably. Maybe. Possibly.

Brandon was just staring at me, with the best poker face yet and I wasn't sure what to think. "What's the big deal?" I asked finally, scowling. "So what if I made a fucking best friend. Who gives a shit?"

_When your dreams all fail_

_And the ones we hail_

_Are the worst of all_

_And the blood's run stale_

"Kira, you can't have close friends with the way we are. Tell me you haven't debated whether or not to tell Leah what you are?" Brandon said finally, breaking his silence. His tone was soft and almost a little sad, as if he felt bad about the whole ordeal. It had been Adrian and Brandon that had convinced me to stay away from friendships in the first place.

I said nothing, because he was right. I'd thought about giving Leah a better idea of the depths of our pathology, but what would she think? In a fantasy world, she'd tell me she still cared and that nothing would ever change that. But this was reality. Leah would freak, anyone would. Were monsters, and I was okay with that, but if other people knew they'd be inclined to run screaming, fear me, view me differently and I didn't want Leah to do that. So I kept my mouth shut.

"Distance yourself from her, for both your sakes, before the friendship becomes toxic," Brandon said, giving me another sad smile.

"What do you mean toxic? Our friendship is fine," I protested. I didn't want to distance myself from her. I wanted her. I _needed_ her now. I didn't want my grasp on these emotions to disappear, despite how much weaker they made me. I almost felt human. Not by much, but far more then I'd felt in a very long time and that was because of Leah.

"You mean you don't want to give her the world?" Brandon asked, a knowing look and tone in his voice. _Oh no_.

I stilled, eyes wide and heart pounding, "what does that have to do with anything?"

"Were not normal people Kira. We are toxic to Random's. We can give each other everything because material items mean nothing to us. We aren't sentimental, we are in a way, but when people keep trinkets like jewelery as a momentum, we keep people," I blinked. I hadn't seen anything like that before. They'd never told me that and I didn't understand that at all.

_I wanna hide the truth_

_I wanna shelter you_

_But with the beast inside_

_There's nowhere we can hide_

"Keep people?" I repeated, voice falling in disbelief and horror, "keep people how?"

"We don't like to let go Kira, that's why we stick to each other so closely, because we wont ever leave one another. The Random's aren't the same. On average, normal people change friends every two to four years. She will move on Kira, someday. Could you handle not spending time with her if she decided you weren't the kind of friend she was looking for?" he didn't need to ask the question, because I already knew the answer. It was a terrifying prospect and for the first time since I'd given into my own personal demons, I hated myself. I hated what I was so much that it made me sick and even a little dizzy. I'd never hated myself. _Never_. Until today that is.

"What happens if you see her with other people down the road, having the time of her life? Would you get jealous?" I shrugged, doubt filling me. He continued, "Would you get angry? Would you snap? What if in your rage, you hurt her? Your an animal Kira, that's what we are, primal and raw animalistic emotion at it's core. We don't handle the same things that they do well. I kid you not, it will happen, and sooner rather then later. You will snap and probably kill her in the process and you will never recover from that either. We can handle each other when we snap, we dont Crave the darker things because were the same and she isn't like us, she couldn't survive us and it will make you sick to be around her."

"What do you mean sick? I dont understand this, you've never told me any of this before," i said, despair filling me. This wasn't making sense to me. It was like it was going in one ear and out the other. It just wasn't settling in me the way they wanted it too.

"You snapped and we went after the Random in Seattle, you were with Leah when the Crave hit you. If you didn't want to hurt her, tell me now and we'll know for sure that you wouldn't hurt her, that she was like us as much as you want her to be. Enough that you have no desire to tear her apart when you Craved and this conversation ends here and now."

_Curtain's call_

_Is the last of all_

_When the lights fade out_

_All the sinners crawl_

I opened my mouth to speak, to say the words but they died in my throat. I couldn't lie about something this important and I didn't need to say a word, my hesitance was enough. "If you Crave again and spend time with the Random's too much, you'll get sick Kira. It's happened before and it never gets better," i sighed heavily.

That was true. The first time I'd Craved, it terrified me into abstinince and weird unorthodox withdrawals. It ended badly and I was mess. It's a need that you simply can deny for long, like needing to breathe. I'd lasted maybe two weeks, and by that time I had been jumpy, I'd dropped a quarter of my weight, I had raging headaches, I hallucinated a couple times about what i wanted. Being around anyone that weren't my brothers only made everything twice as bad.

Finally I snapped and went ballistic when someone got on my nerves. I'd killed my way through an entire bar, it was a crappy dive outside of town, so it was easy to clean up. But I'd learned my lesson and I understood why they'd pushed for me to give in. It wasn't a choice anymore, it was fundamental and it felt great, disturbingly empowering.

"You need to distance yourself from her before it gets too dangerous and you get too close to her. You need to do this if you want to save her, I'm sorry Kira, but's it's just the way it needs to be. Your too dangerous to be close friends with Random's," Brandon said giving me that same sad smile.

_So they dug your grave_

_And the masquerade_

_Will come calling out_

_At the mess you've made_

But I already cared too much, I wanted to say, but my voice had abandoned me. I hadn't thought it would end this way. I thought that even though if we stopped what we were doing, that we'd still be friends, sisters. But we couldn't even be that. Here I thought I'd get some great big lecture on how dangerous it is to bring others into our life style. But no, I was getting the harshest lesson I'd learned yet. For us, to love is to destroy, to kill those we loved? Yeah, we really were toxic after all.

I looked up to my brothers face, my gaze having gone into the distance and away from their worried gazes. Even my brother looked regretful. I'm sure if he'd known what the outcome would be he would've stopped me before it had progressed. "Yeah, your right," I said finally, chest aching in a way I'd never felt before.

"I'm sorry Kira, I had no idea," Caleb said quietly, both Brandon and him having had a minute long staring contest. Giving me a fleeting look and then disappearing back into the school, Brandon and I stood together.

_Don't wanna let you down_

_But I am hell bound_

_Though this is all for you_

_Don't wanna hide the truth_

"What'd you want my help with?" he asked finally, pulling me into his arms.

I took comfort in the embrace, Brandon always had the easiest time comforting me for some strange reason. "I was going to ask you to help me set up something for her birthday," I said a little bitterly. Now I didn't know what to do. I'd already told her I was going to plan something. I felt horrible over this whole thing.

"Like?" he asked, seeming honest to god curious.

"Well, I suppose this falls under 'giving her the world' kind of thing. I wanted to take her to the Seattle aquarium, and Pike Place, and then get dinner. But I have basketball practice and training with Bella tonight," Bella and I had agreed to continue the training, and to keep the more intense aspects out of the picture. She'd asked about them, but I told if she wasn't ready to learn just how scary we truly were, and if she had no interest in learning certain things, then that knowledge stayed with me. She'd agreed, but still looked thoughtful.

"Normal's would appreciate the things we'd do for them. But it's not always enough to keep them around and they don't always see past what we can give them, money and tangible wise," Brandon said giving me a small smile, "I'll help you. But this is the only time."

"Seriously?" I asked in surprise, pulling away to stare at him in awe. He gave me a nod, a smile tugging at his lips and I grinned. "Thank you!"

He chuckled and then just asked me for the times I wanted everything set up for and what I needed him to do. Unbelievably, he agreed to everything I asked of him. I couldn't believe it. At least I could give this last thing to Leah before shit really hit the fan.

**-xxxxx-**

_They say it's what you make_

_I say it's up to fate_

_It's woven in my soul_

_I need to let you go_

**-xxxxx-**

I had cooled off by the time last period rolled around. I'd turned over Brandon's crushing truths over and over again all afternoon. He was right and I was all the more determined to stick to what was right. It was rare for me to do the right thing if I didn't want to, but apparently Leah meant that much to me. As if it wasn't obvious. It felt horrible, but it was for the best. For her own safety, for her own life and I refused to be the one to end it. I was an animal and I wouldn't my dark side take her out of this world because of my own selfishness.

But i wasn't sure if i could this, i certainly didn't want to. How could i continue living in the same house with her if all i want to do day in and day out is be by her side?

"You sure you'll be okay to play?" Hailey asked, having helped me put the right bandaging over the cuts along my back. Hailey had always been nice to me, and she seemed to genuinely like me, so I enjoyed her company for the most part. She was like the people I'd allowed myself to make friendships with after the changes I'd gone through. Kind of like brushing with normalcy and not having people make judgments' or comments if I slipped up.

"I'll be fine, I wouldn't miss this for the world," I said confidently, and she wrapped the ace bandage around me. I didn't have a whole lot of options when it came to dressing the wounds before gym. So I was more or less standing here with my bare chest surrounded by the rest of my team. If we won, the girls were planning to throw a party this Saturday. They really wanted to win, they'd never played seniors before. They'd enlisted Caleb for this particular match because they wanted someone with equal measure to go up against me. They chose well.

I pulled on my other gym clothes, and then my phone went off, signaling a text. I lifted it up, seeing Brandon's update. The first text said he was having a problem with the restaurant I chose. I'd chose a restaurant called Crush, and apparently there had been an issue over my lack of reserving early. I wanted a private room with Leah for dinner and they pretty much refused right away. In simple clear text he'd sent, 'it's yours for 7, you owe me.'

I grinned, excited about tomorrow and the game twice as much as I had been just moments ago. Oh yes, everything was falling into place. I looked over at Hailey's curious gaze and said, "let's go kick some senior ass."

**-xxxxx-**

_Your eyes, they shine so bright_

_I wanna save that light_

_I can't escape this now_

_Unless you show me how_

**-xxxxx-**

We just barely won the game. The guys didn't hold back, and once we'd realized that we went head on just as hard like every other game. They meant serious business after a while. It got very competitive, especially between Caleb and I, and everyone noticed that. We just wanted to beat the other and we knew each other's weaknesses. I was pretty sure I'd pulled a few stitches too. The boy went hard on me when I'd flipped him on his ass in front of about six classes that had come out to watch. I'd gotten a good laugh out of that, until of course he got back at me and I landed on my ass in the mud. That only made me want to beat him all the more. When he'd tried to use the wound on my back as an advantage I played it up and rendered him pretty much useless for the remainder of the game. That had felt good.

Then it was time to go meet up with Bella. Caleb said he would join me this morning, but it seemed like he wanted to give me some space, considering he'd backed out after the game. Bella was waiting for me at her place after school, so was Edward and he didn't look thrilled to see me either.

"I don't believe this is a good idea," were the first words spoken as soon as I was out of the car.

"Oh yeah," I said, not at all interested in what he thought was best. It was up to Bella whether or not she wanted to keep up with the training. She wanted to be strong, who was I to stop her? I'd been that girl before, and what sane person doesn't want to be strong. I was insane and I needed to be strong, it was just in my blood to be this powerful. Besides, I got the feeling Bella was like us, in some form or another. I would leave it up to her if she wanted to complete her training, though I wasn't betting on it.

"You could phase like your brother, if Bella is too close when it happens she can be hurt or worse," he said distinctly, throwing Bella a look, which she pretended not to see.

"Edward, it's not up to you, I want this, please don't stand in my way," she said quietly, giving him a pleading look.

"It's dangerous Bella, if you get hurt, I'd never forgive myself," he said a pained expression just thinking about it.

"How about this then, if I somehow manage to wolf out and she's too close, then you never have to forgive me, not that I give a shit. But you get the point," Bella rolled her eyes at my lame idea and Edward just scowled at me.

"I'm doing this, whether you like it or not. You can either stay and watch if your quiet and keep your comments to yourself and if not, then you can wait for me at your house," she said clearly, not leaving much room to argue. I pursed my lips to keep from smiling, she seemed much more confident then the first time I'd met her. I'd never had a student, but I was proud of Bella. She'd excelled quickly and she seemed to take to the training as much as I had. She even seemed to enjoy more then I had, despite the soreness that came with it.

Edward said nothing, just gave me a glare as if it were my fault she was growing a backbone. Maybe it was my fault, but I also wasn't about to apologize for that. I would show Bella anything she wanted to know, as long as it was what she truly wanted. Everything about me was good and bad, and some of it was really bad. Far worse then I'd initially thought and I was learning that the hard way.

_When you feel my heat_

_Look into my eyes_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

_Don't get too close_

_It's dark inside_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_


	9. Attack Of The Coelacanth

I was late to school on Tuesday, I'd been finalizing my plans for Leah's birthday. We were going to leave right after school, mostly because I was worried that if I skipped today my no good science teacher would give me detention for a week. Jesus did he really get on my nerves. Nobody else was giving me trouble, well, there were the occasional teachers that would snap at me to pay attention or something. But that was normal for Random's, not so much for me, but for others. So I was putting up with it.

I'd been talking to Sue and my dad over the phone about taking Leah out for the night and they agreed as long as we were back at a reasonable time. They wanted to see Leah when they got home from the airport, but they wouldn't be back until after we'd left. Leah was supposed to go to work at four today, but Sue said she would take care of it once I got home from school. I didn't want Leah to know until this afternoon, and embarrassingly enough, I was ridiculously excited about this.

Then I'd spent twenty five minutes on the phone with Brandon for about ten minutes as we went over everything for tonight. The route we were taking, what times and places where we'd be and everything down to possible issues. I was going to keep both my cell phone and personal radio with me in case something did happen and Brandon needed back up. I had some ready made excuses in case I needed to leave Leah somewhere, though I was hoping I wouldn't need to. I didn't need another rescue mission gone wrong. Then Brandon spent twice as long giving me rules to abide by during this little trip, I probably wouldn't listen but they did make sense.

The pack still had no idea that there was more to my being jumped the other week and I wanted to keep it that way. According to Caleb he's already mastered keeping his thoughts under control, much to everyone else's surprise. We hadn't even told our brothers that he was a werewolf yet. That same question as to whether or not I was still hung in the air, but I was ignoring it. I wasn't a wolf, I just knew I wasn't.

The science teacher, Mr. Hurley looked thrilled to see me when I finally made it into the science class. "Where were you this morning Miss. Elliot?" he asked, a wide smile like he was waiting for the punch line or something.

I just raised my eyebrows, "doing something far more important than learning this cell bullshit."

He chuckled darkly, "maybe you'll have more fun learning in ISS for the remainder of the week, how does that sound?"

"What?" I asked in disbelief, voice dropping an octave as my annoyance seared in my mind. I wanted to hurt him.

"You seem to enjoy disrupting my class, and you also seem to believe you make the rules," oh but I do, my mind added furiously, "so maybe you'll have a change of heart after a week in ISS, your dismissed."

Oh I was pissed, I shoulder my bag and then turned and left the room, throwing him one last look that spoke a single thing, 'your going to regret that'. I lifted my phone, and texted both Caleb and Brandon, a thrill went through me as the words were sent, 'time to teach Mr. Hurley the lesson of a lifetime'. I could just imagine the looks on their faces as they'd read that.

Caleb sent another text back almost instantly, 'let's throw Benson into the mix too shall we?'. I grinned, oh yes, this was going to be a good week. Now I wasn't entirely sure how we were going to take care of the two teachers, but I really wanted to make Hurley regret getting on my nerves so much. I wasn't sure how bad Caleb had it in for Benson, I'm told he was a pretty cool teacher. Maybe it was personal somehow, I couldn't be sure.

I made it to the library, which apparently was the ISS room, based on the big sign next to the door. This was embarrassing, I hadn't had ISS in years. My phone vibrated and I glanced down at it, Brandon was in for this weeks festivities.

"Hurley called about you, take a seat Miss. Elliot," an older graying woman said, not even looking up to see if it was me.

I rolled my eyes a little, and then glanced around at the two rows of desks pushed against the wall. Four of them were occupied. Three boys and a girl that I recognized instantly, it was Hailey. I went to sit next to her.

"Why you here?" she asked in a hushed voice, keeping her eyes on her work.

I chuckled darkly, as she brought me around full circle as to what was about to happen to two of the teachers at this school. Maybe we'd kill them, maybe we'd maim 'em, I wasn't sure, but that was my kind of party. "Disrupting class too much," I said shrugging a little, I had to blow this off like it was nothing, or as if I deserved it. If I made a big deal out of everything, than as soon as the cops started asking questions, and they would, they come straight to me for holding a grudge against him. I got the feeling they'd come to me anyways, considering my police records but I wasn't worried. We had the best lawyers money could by. "What about you?"

She blushed bright red and I raised my eyebrows, surprised with her reaction. "I don't usually get into trouble, so they let me off easy, my friend, not so much," I frowned, not really understanding what she meant. What was the worst, Hailey of all people could do, a bad prank, mouth off? She didn't do drugs, it was easy enough to see that much.

"What did you do?" I asked, all the more curious then when I'd first asked. If she'd just lied, I probably wouldn't have cared enough to ask a second time. Now? Not so much, she'd sparked my interest.

"Mrs. Greene caught me with Reese in the showers after gym on Friday," she said, still blushing and refusing to look at me.

"Why would that-, oh, holy shit," I cut off as shock and realization dawned on me and her face went twice as read. "Wow, I had no idea." I swear to God, I had guessed Hailey was straight, she was good at covering that up. Couldn't even tell looking at her. I was surprised as hell.

"Yeah," she said, looking more then a little uncomfortable and she shifted in her seat. "My family didn't take it well."

"They didn't know," I had assumed as much if she was so embarrassed about the whole ordeal, "that sucks." I eyed her thoughtfully now, there was more to her then I'd originally thought. She looked horribly upset now and I decided to help her out, "my parents don't know."

"What?" she asked, reeling in shock as my words sunk in after a couple seconds.

"Yeah, everyone except for my family knew back home. Wasn't sure how to tell them, with all of the trouble was getting into I figured outing myself would just make everything ten times worse. Or they'd brush it off as just part of my rebellious phase," I said honestly.

Plus it had never come up. Whatever lovers I'd had, they'd always been one night stands and spur of the moment kind of impulses. I've never brought anyone home and it was rare for me to be with anyone that wasn't like us so it had never really come up. On occasion a girl would catch my eye and I would go for her, but of the six times it had happened, I had left them alone if things were too complicated at the time. Which was the majority of the time. So aside from Leah, I'd only ever been with two others girls.

"But you hang out with all those boys, and damn are they sexy," I chuckled at that. They were good looking, but not enough for me to debate sleeping with them. Especially when I knew the rest of the pack would probably see it. Caleb included now, and that was not a murder I wanted to be around to witness.

"Yeah, well I can be interested in both can't I? And I've never gotten with any of them," I said shrugging once.

"Why?" she asked, the shock of my little revelation having faded by now.

"Not my type."

"Oh, well I'm glad you told me, there aren't many other girls that are like me around here," she admitted awkwardly. She clearly had no one to confide in if she was confiding in me of all people.

"There are, it's the twentieth century, believe me, there are. Small communities just make it difficult to be open," I said, mostly for her benefit.

She opened her mouth to speak, when I sensed someone walk up to us. A book slammed down over the table hard and loud. Hailey had been caught by surprise and flinched, I just stared at the librarian in an unimpressed way. "No talking, if you still can't follow the rules ladies, I'm sure a suspension would do the trick."

We said nothing and I couldn't help but grin as she walked away and Hailey muttered something along the lines of, "fucking old witch". Maybe it was bitch I wasn't too sure. I decided passing notes might be easier and I sure as hell wasn't going to let boredom take my life in ISS, so at least I had someone to chill with.

I texted Bella, telling her we'd have to hold off on the training until later on tonight and if not, we could do a double tomorrow. She didn't mind either, but I knew Leah and I would be back by around nine or ten. I didn't have a problem sneaking out and being gone all night. I'd gone days without sleep and been more or less fine. Maybe a little light headed, but I'd gotten used to adjusting to that kind of thing.

It would be good for Bella to learn it too, might come in handy. Unless of course she decided to become a vampire, then apparently she'd never sleep again. Another downer about the vampire thing to me, never sleeping. I enjoyed dreaming and sleeping, and I had control of both, it was the perfect escape. It was kind of ironic, considering we don't need a whole lot of sleep. Even had an internal clock inside of us. Always waking up within a minute or two of when we wanted to. It came in handy. Our subconscious instincts were pretty handy too, if one of us is drugged or knocked unconscious, were set to wake up within five to eight minutes. That kind of made for some awkward moments.

"So party this Saturday," Hailey began as we exited the library, "you coming?"

"I don't know, maybe. I'm going to be pretty busy this week, is the whole team going to be there?" one of the reasons I liked Hailey, she wasn't jealous of my abilities at sports. I noticed some people were envious, but they had no idea the kind of training they'd need to be as strong and as agile as I was. That and Hailey was on all of the same teams as me. I found it odd that she wasn't afraid of me the way others were and I couldn't help but wonder why.

"Hot date Saturday?" she asked wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

I burst out laughing at her expression, "something like that, hot date tonight in fact," I said smiling at the idea of getting to make Leah smile all night. In less then an hour we would be in Seattle and having a great time.

"Who might this date be?" she asked curiously.

"It's a secret," I said honestly.

"So it's a girl," she guessed, giving me an amused smile.

I changed the subject back to her love life. "Are you and Reese dating now then?"

"No, we'd met up a couple times, but neither of us were ready to tell anyone. I haven't spoken to her since Friday," she admitted quietly.

"That's unfortunate, did you have serious feelings for her?"

"Good question, I'd never thought about it much," I nodded absently, reminded of my own relationship with Leah. Did she have serious feelings for me? Brandon had made it obvious, that even small amounts of feelings were too dangerous. I couldn't help but agree. We hadn't been fooling around long and as he so aptly put it I wanted to 'give her the world'.

Leah wasn't at home when I got there, which made me worry. She wouldn't have taken off would she? I didn't think so, but I couldn't be a hundred percent sure. "Where's Leah?" I asked, as soon as I walked through the door.

"She's already gone to work, I tried to convince her to take the day off, but she wouldn't here it. So I called Darrel and told him you were going to go pick her up. I figured you wanted to be the one to tell her she was about to have a special evening," Seth said giving me a small smile.

"Great, I hope she likes surprises then," I said thoughtfully, and Sue grinned a little more.

"Thank you again Kira, you have no idea how much this means to mom and I," he said, giving me a quick hug.

"Not a problem, I'll see you later, and tell Caleb to call Brandon if there's an issue when he gets home," I'd purposely made my way home before Caleb just so that I could miss out on the fireworks that would go off as soon as he realized what I was up to. Brandon would tell him to cool off about tonight.

Leah was indeed at work, I parked outside the bar and went inside. It was surprisingly busy for a Tuesday afternoon but who was I to judge? I lifted my hair into a clip, as I strolled inside to search for her. She was behind the bar, and her eyes lit up when she saw me. "Hey birthday girl," I said, jumping over the counter when no one was looking.

She looked surprised with my fast movement and I gave her a hug, and a light kiss on the cheek. "Where's your supervisor?"

"What are you doing here Kira? You can't be back here," she said uneasily.

"Shall I ask again?" I asked bemused and completely at ease.

She frowned at me, "what are you up to?"

"Leah!" a loud commanding voice said behind me.

Her eyes went wide and she grimaced, "Mr. Ense, this my sister in law, Kira," she said quickly, looking a little panicked. Was she really that afraid of losing her job? I was pretty sure I could even have her bumped up to manager if I wanted to get a kick out of screwing with the local bar owner.

"Kira, glad to finally meet you, I was a little confused when Leah showed up this afternoon, but Seth told me you didn't make it home in time," he said, eyes softening as he realized who I was.

"I got held back a bit, everything is good then?" I asked, eyebrows raised.

"Yes, have a good evening ladies, and happy birthday Leah," he said, and by the look on Leah's face she wasn't accustomed to him being nice to her. I doubted if my presence made him second guess being an ass, but it sure as hell would now. I could be pretty scary looking for a sixteen year old.

"What's going on?" Leah asked, as I took her hand and tugged her out the door.

"You and I have a special night ahead of us," I said simply, and as soon as the doors were closed I pulled her in for a searing kiss that left her breathless.

"I told you I didn't want to do anything for my birthday," she mumbled grudgingly, but the look in her eyes told me she was pleased with this new information.

"Yeah, and who said I was going to listen?" I retorted, giving her another quick kiss, "come on, were a little late."

"Late for what?"

"The aquarium," I said grinning, all the more thrilled that she really had no clue what was going on.

"Forks doesn't have an aquarium," she said even more confused, sitting in the passenger side.

"Seattle does."

She tensed, giving me a lethal stare, "I don't think we should go to Seattle. The vampire kings or whatever seemed pretty interested in you as much as Bella and if I hadn't made it in time, I would've lost you."

I smiled at her widely, "don't worry Leah, you'll be by my side all night, I'll protect you!"

"Cute," she said dryly, "I don't think it's safe."

"We'll be fine, I give you my word. Besides, I have eyes out there to keep an eye on things during our little visit."

"Does Sam know about this?" she asked suspiciously, and then pulled out her cell phone to call him, no doubt. I reached over, snagging it and holding it away from her when she glared.

"Babe, I don't answer to anyone, let alone Sam and tonight you wont either," I said grinning mischievously.

"Kira, I don't think this is a good idea," she said sighing heavily.

"Yeah, I don't have many good ideas. Were going out Leah, so you may as well just sit back and enjoy the ride," I said smoothly. She rolled her eyes, but I could tell she was as excited as I was.

This was the first time I'd done anything like this for a Random. Though Leah wasn't much of a Random, considering she was wolf. But to all of my brothers she was a Random. A Random that had somehow gotten to me, but a Random nonetheless.

Once or twice this evening I contemplated the ramifications of opening up to Leah, telling her what I was. But what good would come from it? Leah's purpose in life appeared to be the opposite of mine. She was a protector, a guardian, one of many. Many who manage to terrify the locals mostly because of their size, but they were still guardians.

I was so far from a protector, I was a sadistic fucking murderer. A few weeks ago, I probably would've smiled at that label, now I just felt nothing. I almost felt stuck. I wouldn't betray my brothers by revealing who we were. Odds were the pack would kill us just for being what we are. I can't help who I am now, I'd crossed that line years ago and there was no going back. Even if Leah did somehow manage to let me live despite being a cold blooded killer, there was no way she'd be able to avoid thinking about this. Then there'd be a damn witch hunt for all of us.

Kind of amusing that my brother had phased, was now a full fledged La Push nudist, saving lives with the rest of the mutated dogs, and in the background being as sadistic and twisted as I was. It made me wonder briefly whether or not he'd give up what we are. The prospect was dismissed as soon as it was formed. Caleb would never escape who we were and I didn't think he'd want to. He had pretty good self control in my opinion. If it weren't for me, he'd be the perfect monster. No weakness, strong, ruthless and a force of nature when he wanted something. Yes, my brother was something to admire.

The night had gone well in my opinion. Leah had seemed to enjoy the aquarium quite a bit and that was a good sign. I was surprised to find out that Brandon had managed to get both the aquarium and the restaurant cleared out for us this evening.

"I want to show you something," I said once we'd gotten to the Seattle Aquarium.

Raising our intertwined hands to kiss her knuckles, I smiled up at her through my eyelashes. She grinned.

I found her even more beautiful with the visible water lines over splashed across her, it seemed to make her look twice as supernatural. It was almost as if they were dancing softly to the two of us.

"Oh?" she asked, intrigued. I began leading us to the

"My brother and I had been discussing your animal form and your legends," I began, pushing open the door to the pool areas above ground. She'd paused but I'd just tugged on her and she pouted a little.

"Come on, we've still got the place to ourselves for another hour or so," I reassured her.

"Are you sure where even allowed up this way?" she asked, eyes having past of the 'employees only' sign.

"I wouldn't be much a of a rebel if I followed the rules now would I?" I retorted smirking.

"Smartass."

I found the light switch, turning on a single one that fell over a large pool of crystal clear water. "We believe that your ability to shape shift is much older then just a few hundred years back. This particular community hasn't even been on the map for a decade. I doubt if many vampires have come through here over the last few hundreds of years."

"What makes you say that?" she asked skeptically, and I grabbed a small remote looking thing and then went towards her.

"From what I understand you haven't evolved much. Which means your species of shape shifting has reached it's peak and has for a while. Or at least for now. Every history has some form of shape changers with the ability to take form of one or more animals. Many of those legends are probably false. But for every fairy tale there is some truth. Mythology says your supposed to be either human and wolf rather than one or the other. With that in mind, we think you taken on whole forms now to help blend in with society better. To stay hidden so nothing can be traced to you other then silly campfire stories that glossed over the details." It didn't look like she liked my comment much.

I sat down, slipping my body into the water, "Kira the sign says stay out of the water," she said uneasily. "It's clearly labeled not to pass over the yellow line."

"I can't do this without you," I said a little stubbornly, she just smirked and then dropped into the cool water with me. I pressed my back to the wall, and grabbed for the remote. "Now if were correct and you really are much older then believed, small species and all that. It makes sense that other older species should somehow recognize you rather then just see a weird big grey wolf."

"What do you mean? What's in this pool?" she asked, voice raising an octave in alarm.

"Two things; the first is called a Frilled Shark, one of the most primitive in fact. Dating all the way back to the Cretaceous period. These guys feed on squid, so I wouldn't worry about him. And like his species, I'm sure yours is just as endangered."

We waited, and I saw something dark move under the surface. I took a deep breath and sunk under slowly so I didn't disturb the water. Sure enough, there it was. It was a little over three meters long, about a foot wide and resembled an eel. I didn't know a whole lot about fish, but I'd read up on them during school today. Females are bigger then males in this species, and the adult male was about two meters long. It's head was triangle shaped and it had an ugly grey color to it. It wasn't particularly appealing to the eye, but it was kind of fascinating to look at. Apparently only dying or very old species are ever discovered, it's also read that they live there whole lives not coming across a human because of how deeply they live under the sea.

Slowly it made it's way towards us and Leah ducked under the water to join me. She stared at it wide eyed and when it looked like she was about to bolt, I grabbed her arm and held up a finger for her to wait a minute. She nodded once, and we continued to watch the odd looking shark.

It circled us twice, before snaking between us. Leah didn't like it trying to separate us, but I think it was trying to push apart to see who was more dangerous. Most animals could usually sense that my brothers and I aren't normal, so it wasn't surprising to see a shark be wary of us. It seemed interested in Leah though. He moved up closer to her and she gave me a frantic look as though I should know what to do. I shrugged. They weren't dangerous to humans, but I had no idea how they reacted to predators and that's what I was, but I wasn't sure how to classify Leah's kind just yet.

The closer it got to Leah the more anxious she was getting. When it got about a foot close to her, it startled and then bolted, leaving bubbles and water around us. Well, it recognized her, but I couldn't tell if it knew of her kind or if it just feared her for her inner strength. It was hard to tell.

The whole episode had lasted about three minutes and we both broke the surface to take in deep breaths. She stared at me wide eyed as if she couldn't believe what had just happened. "Well, that's one old mother fucking species. I think it's safe to say it thinks your at the top of the food chain," she rolled her eyes at me.

"And where's the second one?" she asked, as if on cue we both turned to watch the second surge of water come towards us.

"That would be the Coelacanth, it was assumed to have gone extinct during the Cretaceous period until 1983. Now they usually feed on fish, but it hasn't been here long so it's probably a man eater, or wolf eater, whichever," she gave me a disbelieving shocked look.

"What the hell Kira! What if-," she was cut off with my abrupt disappearance as I was ripped under the water surface. The little fucker was faster and stronger then I'd anticipated, and he managed to sneak right up on me. I needed some serious focus and training soon. I stared at the fish and when it bit into my leg I squirmed and then went to cry out but my lungs exploded with water. It made my chest ache painfully.

Leah burst right next to me and was on the fish in no time. I watched her wrestle with it curiously once I'd caught my breath. All I could see were mostly bubbles. Then weird blue looking blood burst and I watched the water stain before Leah broke through the surface. "Nice," I said appreciatively.

She glared at me, "that's not funny Kira! You could've gotten hurt."

"Leah, were in a pool. It was a big fish not the loch ness monster," I countered, she continued glaring, "oh come on Babe, you gotta admit it's pretty cool that your kind dates back longer then a few centuries." She pondered that as both of us climbed out of the pool, and I wordlessly handed her a bag of clothes to change into.

We'd gone to dinner, and she wasn't pleased I'd taken her somewhere so expensive after she'd glanced over the bill. I just retorted that it was one of the best places in town to eat and during celebrations expenses were meaningless.

Afterwards we'd gone to Pike Place Market and wandered around for a few hours and checking out stores. I bought her a necklace, silver chain and a crescent moon the size of a quarter with a wolf sitting on it. She kept glancing at, and I knew she wouldn't ask for it. I'd hoped something she wanted would catch her, because overall, I really had no idea what kind of gift I should get her. Gifts weren't my thing. I've never given gifts before. Of course she also protested against that as well, considering it cost me almost four hundred dollars and I told her I had money saved up from work. Wasn't legal work, but it was work nonetheless.

Thankfully, nothing over the top happened and I enjoyed most of the night. Every now and again I'd have to hold back and bite my tongue just to keep from saying too much. Brandon's words kept bouncing through my mind endlessly. It was making it difficult to keep the mood from dampening Leah's knowing her happiness with me would be short lived after this. I felt horrible, the fact that she was clueless was only make my guilt worse but there really wasn't a whole lot I could do. I couldn't think of anything to do. It was only making my self loathing worse.


	10. The Lesson Of A Lifetime

Once Leah and I had returned home from Seattle, all of the pack was a buzz. I was halfway through the house door when my cell phone rang. I glanced down at it, seeing Brandon's name and then flickered a glance over at Leah. She raised her eyebrows, "I'm going to check in with Sam," in other words 'I'll give you some privacy'.

"Yeah?" I greeted, wondering if they'd finally found Gabriel.

"Caleb's mad at you, be prepared for one hell of an argument," he warned me immediately.

"Scale of one to ten?" I asked a little amused.

"How's fifty?"

"Damn," I said sighing. "What'd he say?"

"Well he flipped on me, and I wouldn't tell him where in Seattle you guys were, so he's just as mad at me as he is you. Probably more then you actually. He made it sound like you needed permission to take Leah out or something," he said chuckling slightly. God my brother sucked sometimes.

"Yeah, cause I listen and obey what people tell me to do," before I could continue Leah came around the corner and the look on her face told me she was in trouble too. Way to ruin a perfectly good evening. "I'll call you later?"

"Yeah," I hung up, turning to Leah, "Sam's?"

"Sam's," she agreed, a little bitter sounding.

"I didn't think it would be that big a deal, I knew we'd be just fine," I sighed heavily and then we got back into the car.

**-xxxxx-**

Oh yes. They were mad. As soon as we walked through the door an enormous fight broke out. "Kira I told you stay close to La Push!" Caleb shouted, glaring at me.

"Well I didn't, fucking sue me," I said returning the look.

"Why couldn't you just stay in La Push, you know that, both of you could've gotten hurt or worse," Sam said outraged.

"Fuck you, asshole. I didn't plan to be gone that long and it was a surprise," Leah said coldly.

"You can't take risks like that! Especially in the city, you almost got caught last time," I rolled my eyes at that, hardly.

"I swear to god Kira if you go behind my back and pull a stunt like that again I wont let you out of my sight again," Caleb threatened. The majority of the pack had been silent during the conversation so far and a few of them looked weary. Couldn't blame them, we could be downright scary sometimes.

"Worry about someone else Sam, I couldn't care less about what you deem is safe and what isn't. You may be alpha but it doesn't give you the right to control my life. Jesus, were not even engaged anymore and here you are, getting all up in my face as if we were. You don't have the right to question me anymore!" Leah finally snapped.

"Grow up, and your right I am you alpha and if you leave La Push, I'll pull rank, you understand?" he snapped. Leah tensed and so did I. I felt anger bubble up inside of me. I'd never gotten over protective and enraged like this. As soon as Caleb saw my primal stare set in, the raw feeling of wanting redemption for the simple fact that Sam had upset Leah, he tensed as well. Then he gave me a look that clearly said 'calm the fuck down'.

I took a deep breath, and when Leah said nothing, I spoke, "Don't be such a prick. It's her birthday and I don't see you clamoring to make it a good day. Sue tells me she takes off every year and it's not hard to see why. I wanted to do something special and up until coming here, it had been a great birthday."

He gave me a dark look, "Leah has responsibilities, and though you may not understand that because of how selfish you are, she has an entire community to look out for. This is far more important birthday and if you had wanted to do something with her, you should've done it here. This is a pack matter Kira, your opinion means nothing so stay the fuck out of it."

Okay, now I snapped, and all I could see was Red flushing in my mind and eyes. I rushed him, hitting him hard and both of us met the ground in tangled limbs. He tried to pin me and I threw my head forward and into his, breaking his nose. He lost his grip and I maneuvered us until I got the upper hand and hit him a second time. Then strong arms wrapped around me and I was pulled off of him before the fight could get anymore heated. I knew it was Caleb right away, he'd move to grab me before someone else could, and because I felt him, or felt the lack of wanting to hurt him brutally.

"Get off of me!" I shouted, turning and shoving my brother hard.

"Calm down before you kill someone!" he snapped angrily, and then reached for me, to drag me out of the house I'd imagine. I pulled back before he could get his hands on me and then left the house. I needed to get out of here. I couldn't think and I felt like I was about to explode in rage. If I didn't leave I would tear apart this entire house and everyone in it by the time I'd calmed down.

I didn't need to look back to know Leah had followed me out. My brother was right though, I was dancing in a red haze right now and I needed to be alone. To calm down and try and think rationally. "Kira, wait, you didn't have to defend me, Sam is right," she said clearly upset, but it was taking a while for me to understand her words.

"Go home Leah," I said coldly, clenching my fists tightly to keep control of my urge to cause pain. I couldn't hurt Leah. I wouldn't hurt her, I just kept repeating that over and over again. She was so close too, just inches away. We were alone, everything would be so simple if I gave in. I wont hurt her. I cant. I shouldn't want to, and that made me feel horrible.

"Your upset, I'm not letting you take off like this," she took a step towards me, and I backed up in response. A flash of hurt confusion crossed her eyes and I ignored it, I had to. I couldn't let her get close to me anymore then she already was. I was barely hanging on to my sanity right now and her proximity was bad enough.

"Go home, I'll talk to you later," I said taking what was supposed to be a calming breath, but helped very little. I turned and she grasped my wrist spinning me, "Christ Leah, for your own good, leave me alone!" I pulled my arm from her hands, when she moved towards me again I shoved her hard, then quickly turned to walk away from her.

I heard a growl and a ripping sound, and glanced back. I almost missed seeing the back of her disappear into the woods. I looked to where she'd stood, nothing but tattered and split clothing remaining. I stomped down the guilt I suddenly felt.

**-xxxxx-**

I must've walked around for an hour trying to calm down but it wasn't doing any good. My cell phone rang half a dozen times, and I didn't bother picking it up at all. I was pretty sure the pack was probably hanging around, so I wasn't concerned about my safety. I could sense someone every now and again, they weren't nearly as stealthy as they thought they were. It must've been midnight before Brandon pulled up next to me in my car, he didn't say anything, and I just walked around it and got into the passenger seat.

"Your soaked, why didn't you just go home?" he asked frowning at me. I hadn't even realized it had started raining, I was completely focused on channeling my emotions.

"Because of the Random's in the house," I said curtly, turning and staring out the window. I didn't get the urge to hurt Brandon, not that I'd expected to, but it was still a relief. Soothing even.

"Did you see Red?" he asked, turning the heat on. I looked down at my hands, little crescent moons sitting in them from clenching them so tightly I'd drawn blood. I wiped my hands on my pants and said nothing, I didn't need to. "Want to go check out Hurley and Benson. Caleb wants to have some fun."

I hadn't thought of that, "at least I wont have to miss school," I said a little relieved. Leah leaves in the evenings for work. I didn't think I could handle being moments from snapping and hurting her if it was just us in the house all day long. Though to be fair, she wouldn't be around all day, she did have patrol most mornings, sometimes in the afternoon.

"When did you fall in love with your sister?" now if that wasn't one of the most fucked up questions I had ever been asked, then I don't what is, and I'd been asked some pretty messed up things in my day. He sounded so calm and cavalier that it only made the question all the more strange, like we were talking about a movie or the weather. Man, we were weird.

I gave Brandon a disbelieving look, and once I'd finally regained my composure I spoke, "the fuck are you talking about?" He just gave me a look and I panicked a little, "you didn't tell-," he cut me off.

"No, I haven't told Caleb or the others, I wouldn't do that to you," he said truthfully, eyes worried.

"I'm not in love with Leah," I said quietly, gut twisting as I realized that was a complete lie. Oh god I was so fucking screwed.

"Aren't you?"

"It doesn't make a difference anymore, I've already agreed to be a good little monster," he gave me another unimpressed look, "I can't hurt Leah. I care about her too much."

"It's weird, that you fell for a Random, none of us have ever had nothing but curiosity for them," he admitted softly. "We don't want to care about them anymore then we'd care about a penny."

"I'm aware and if someone had warned me beforehand, I wouldn't be in this mess right now," I said bitterly.

"Did you think we told you not to get attached to Random's just to spite you or something? We thought the warning and reasons for it were obvious," he said a little offended at my accusatory tone.

"I don't know what I thought. But you should've known it was bound to happen to Caleb or me eventually," I pointed out.

"True, so what's so special about her then?" he asked, eyebrows raised.

"How is discussing that going to help me in any way?" I asked rolling my eyes a little.

"Fine, you should consider coming back home for a while, deal with whatever Random feelings you seem to have," he suggested logically.

"No. I'm not going anywhere. I'm stronger then running away. Whose to say those feelings wont come back once I returned home. I'm staying," he just nodded as if he'd known that would be my answer, he probably had, he knew m well enough.

"I'm sorry we let this happen to you, Caleb will be done school and you'll come back home. Leave this place in the rearview mirror," it was supposed to be reassuring but it really wasn't. "I'm warning you now Kira, if you don't break it off I'll have to inform our brothers."

I didn't respond to that and only said, "let's go make some new town rules."

**-xxxxx-**

We'd picked up Caleb and I could see a bruise forming on the edge of his jaw. I wasn't going to apologize, he should've known better then to touch me when I'm angry. In fact I was surprised I hadn't gone after him next. It's happened before, not trying to kill one another so much as wanting to make them remember just how badly things could escalate by laying hands on one another.

"Why didn't you go home?" he asked frowning at me. Apparently he wasn't going to apologize either. I understood why though, if someone hadn't stopped me, I would've just continued. Better him then one of the pack. If they'd touched me then shit really would've hit the fan. I didn't think we could take on all of them at once anyways.

"Leah was there."

"Let me guess, the Red?" he guessed, eyebrows raised.

"Pretty much."

"What happened with Leah, she didn't come back to the house, but I could feel how upset she was when she phased."

"I pushed her, she kept touching me," I said uneasily. When you see Red and the random's touch you, it's hard to stay calm, especially after our animal instincts take over.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

**-xxxxx-**

We were going for Hurley first, parking down the street and around the block. We'd circled twice to get a good idea of the block and the amount of people and visibility. We pulled on masks, as well as black hoodies to cover anything else that might identify us. I was just buzzing with excitement, twitchy even. Have some fun and then bam, two in one night.

"So what's the plan?" Brandon asked me, "this is your target."

"Well I still need a science teacher so we'll need to take it easy on him," I said pouting a little.

"Damn, that's too bad," Caleb said in agreement.

"Cut the power," I said to Brandon, who nodded and then disappeared around the house. A second later all of the lights went off. Caleb went to the other side of the house, each of us staying in the shadows a bit.

I watched Hurley walk towards a window, keeping back slightly, he was probably wondering if the whole block lost power. His eyes found me in the dark, unfamiliar and yet somehow terrifying. I grinned a little, waving to freak him out even more. He backed up a step. There was a slam and he turned to see where the slamming door was. I side stepped out of his sight and I could just imagine the horror he must feel at the disappearing masked stranger.

I moved around to the front door, kicking it open and he let out a scared gasp and then ran straight down the hall from me. Where Brandon stood in the open doorway. I closed the door behind me, walking towards him, he begged, it was incredibly pathetic when people reacted this way first,"what do you want? I don't have anything valuable."

I smirked beneath the mask, and he lifted a lamp and whipped it at me. I caught it, and then threw it back at him as he turned to run. It crashed into his back and he flew forward into the ground at an awkward angle. He staggered back up as I advanced on him slowly, like a lion about to sink it's teeth into his prey. He lifted his arm to punch me, I caught it, twisting it and breaking it. He screamed and I dropped his arm, spinning to get more power in the next hit. he stumbled backwards into Caleb, who hooked his ankle around Hurley's leg and pulling. He hit the ground, and I heard the audible crunch of his jaw. I moved towards him and kicked him in the face, knocking him out completely. I felt much better.

"Let's get out of here," I said, staring down at his slack, broken, bleeding form on the ground triumphantly and smug.

**-xxxxx-**

We got home late last night, we'd had to track down Benson when he wasn't at home. Turned out he was at some woman's house. A married woman in fact. That only made Caleb all the more pleased with his own target, he loved getting dirty secrets to add onto the the thrill of the kill. We stopped his car on the side of the road, and Caleb had chosen this spot specifically because his body wouldn't be found for a few days at least. The pack would probably find him after a couple days, if not sooner.

As I laid in bed the morning, I thought about the quotes and thoughts I'd had about revenge over the last few years. Murder, rage, dark thoughts and evil were all things that came into my mind frequently, every few hours even. Revenge came up just as much. We were vindictive creatures, plain and simple. We didn't hide what we were like, aside from Seeing the Red, we were clear about what we were. Territorial, lethal, violent and pretty damn twisted. Revenge was part of the package.

'Revenge is a dish best served cold', is one of the few comments my brothers had made to me. You shouldn't hold Random feelings for people you get revenge on, which is fine by me, I didn't have Random feelings for the Randoms. But now I cared about Seth and Leah, hell, I even cared about Bella. So what would I do if I ever saw Red because of them? No one had ever explained to me what the fall out for Random feelings were, there was no handbook, so it was a mystery. One I'd rather not test, but it was a possibility. It's in their nature to betray one another if the situation demands it and my Random feelings made me vulnerable now, which put them in danger, them and everyone else.

Then there's that whole 'revenge is sweet' thing, and my mind drifted to ice cream for a moment. I hadn't ice cream in a while. I wouldn't mind some mint chip one of these days. Then something click in, revenge is like ice cream.

"Should get ready, were going to be late, everyone's already gone," Caleb said already dressed and ready to go, opening the door from the bathroom to give me a pointed look. I knew what he meant right away. Had nothing to do with school.

"Don't worry, I'll start today," start keeping my distance from Leah that is. Caleb and everyone else would react badly if they ever found out just how close we were, so it was good that we got this out of the way before it went too far. The sooner the better. Though it hurt to think about it.

He sighed, moving towards me and then sitting beside me on the bed. "I didn't know Kira."

"Yeah, you keep saying that," I commented dryly, "I'll be fine Caleb, just leave me be."

"Were not done talking about this just yet. I want you to move on, really. Cut and dry if you have to, if you can't handle it," easier said then done, "but I want to know how you to plan to do this. We haven't encountered or experienced anything like getting such strong Random feelings and none of our brothers know what to do without making it worse. We could always just kill her." The fuck?

"No," I snapped angrily, "don't ever go there again."

He held up his hands in surrender, "fine. Then tell me what your going to do and I wont bring it up again."

"I don't know. I'll stop hanging out with the Pack, I'll make other friends," I said slightly distastefully.

"Other friends?" he sound disbelieving, as if that was my plan, when my friendship with Leah was what jump started my friendship with Leah. Well not the friendship, but that's what they thought.

"It's different with the other Randoms and you know it. Well, there's always Bella, she seems to like me, on some level," I said shrugging a little, "then there are the girls from my teams, I mean, they're planning a party this weekend."

"Good, start there, party, make friends, get a girlfriend for all I care, whatever gets your mind off of her. Let's make one thing clear though. If I have to worry about you having intense Random emotions for someone again, I'm going to kill them. Adrian, Brandon and I have already agreed to this," I frowned, why was everyone keeping me out of the loop all of a sudden? That pissed me off.

"Fuck off, let me get ready for school," I said shoving him off the bed and moving towards the bathroom.

"I'm not joking Kira, I wont let the Randoms hurt you," he said quietly behind me, an edge to his voice making him sound all the more determined and confident that he would do just that.

I turned to him, giving him a hard cold look, "you wont let the Randoms themselves hurt me or the Random emotions? Because you can't stop something that isn't touchable without putting a bullet in my skull."

"Both, you know I couldn't hurt you. I'm sorry Kira. I cant see you in pain, none of us can. Your our sister and we all feel like shit because we don't know how to fix you!"

"Fix me? Caleb, It's not a cancer, it's humanity," I said in disbelief.

"We don't have humanity, what don't you understand about that? The sooner you get back to normal the better. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life dreading your fate? Your going to hell Kira, all of us are. The rest of us couldn't care less and you shouldn't either. What your experiencing is unnatural."

Okay, that didn't bother me so much as my supposedly being unnatural, I wasn't afraid of hell. It was all this other crap going on that was bothering me. It's not like I would spend the rest of my life re-writing all of the horrible sins I'd committed, and why should I? It's not like I regretted any of them.

"What we are is fucking unnatural!" I shouted at him in frustration, "Let's get one thing clear, abandoning Leah hurts. More then you could ever imagine because none of you feels anymore. I wasn't supposed to either, but I do. And when I do feel, everything is ten times worse then it was when we were Randoms, who knows maybe I'm exaggerating, but it sure as hell doesn't feel like it. Right now, the only people hurting me are you and our brothers by pushing Leah and I apart when you don't even understand pain for Christ sakes. So back off before your the next one on my hit list."

I didn't wait for a response, and I didn't think I would get one. It was the truth. Everything was hurting right now and none of us knew how to respond to this situation because this shouldn't be happening.

**-xxxxx-**

It was pretty awkward on the way to school, the air was so thick it could've been cut like butter. I plugged in my ear phones, letting myself drift away and texted Bella that we were indeed still training tonight. She didn't text me back, but I had the unmistakable feeling that she'd seen the text. Probably been waiting for me to message her, she's really enjoying training. I had to admit, she's getting the hang of things much more quickly then I had anticipated. Now that we were in twice as much trouble, Bella was even more concentrated on getting stronger. I'd suggested she start running every morning and should probably sign up at the gym and work out a few times a week. Anything to help her get the edge on this new game we had going.

Ever since the war had ended, everyone was still pretty tense, especially knowing that the Volturi were not pleased. It was only a matter of time before they made a move and we still hadn't heard from our brothers since they'd headed to Europe. They'd texted us daily, saying that they were closing in on Gabriel, but they also mentioned that something strange was going on. I couldn't help but feel even more worried about them knowing full well that the vampire kinds lived in Italy. Caleb and I had even discussed joining them briefly, but again, we had other things to worry about and if we showed up out there, chances were we'd be found right away.

"Kira, can-," I cut him off harshly.

"Back off brother, I am in a very bad mood."

He pulled up to the school, shutting off the engine and turned to me. He had that look on his face, as if he was about to make some great spiel again, and I really was no up for it. "You need to calm down, we can keep killing locals every time you snap, its become way too often."

My response? I punched him, but it was kind of awkward because of the angle I was sitting in, but it felt good to hear the snap in his jaw. Before he could get another word out I was slamming the car door shut behind me and going towards to the school entrance.

I noted the female substitute in my biology class and couldn't help the smirk I got. Probably wouldn't be back any time soon either. I found my way to the ISS room, or the library, whichever, and passed two police officers on the way through. They were interviewing staff about the missing teacher, Sam was one of the officers.

He gave me a look, one that clearly said 'if you have anything to do with this, you are in serious trouble'. It was a look I was all too familiar with, and it only amused me more. It wouldn't be hard to figure we'd offed the teacher, I mean, our scents were probably all over the kill sight. So there was no proof. I wonder what they would do exactly. My brother really had a point, we couldn't kill anymore locals.


	11. Time To Make Some New Rules

_Time, it's not worth my time_

_Blue shine bleeds into my eyes_

_I still, sleep on the right side_

_Of the white noise, can't leave the scene behind_

_Could I be anything you want me to be?_

_It's always meant to be seen_

_When you see yourself in a crowded room,_

_Do your fingers itch? Are you pistol whipped?_

_Do you step in line or release the glitch?_

_Do you think she'll sleep with a panic?_

_And I'll try to hold on tight tonight._

_Pink slip, inviting me inside._

_I want to burn skin and brand what once was mine,_

_But the red news came ripping in to fight._

_If I go anywhere that you want me to go,_

_How do I know you'll still follow?_

I texted Bella, telling her we would be meeting after school. I had to say, I was pleased that I didn't get kicked off any of the teams I was on. Then again, students generally only got kicked off of a team for crappy grades and I was still up in the nineties, so I wasn't concerned. Hailey got a warning apparently, and she was a little nervous about that. I didn't understand what the big deal was, there was still baseball, track and a few others things coming up. I doubted if they would instantly cut her off from all sports just because of one slightly embarrassing misdemeanor.

By the time lunch rolled around the entire school was freaking out. They'd found Mr. Bensons body already. Guess they'd gone looking for him when Sam found out he was missing. Hailey and I paused at her locker to the cafeteria, she'd invited me to join her and some friends for lunch. I'd agreed that I would behave and make some new little normal friends so I accepted the invite.

"Here comes one of the La Push Nudists," I said amused with Jake and Jared's furious expressions. Hailey giggled at that and I greeted them cheerfully, "hello boys."

I figured I might as well play this up, I couldn't hang out with the pack anymore then I could with Leah. I wouldn't break it off right away, I'd wait a few days, sometime this weekend perhaps. That was not something I was looking forward to.

"We need to talk," Jake said, neither of them sparing a glance at Hailey's unimpressed look.

"To me? What could you possibly want with little ol' me?" I mocked.

"Were going to Sam's, your brothers already gone over," Jake said in a clipped tone.

"You know why we want to talk to you! Do you think were stupid Kira?" Jared snarled, and I could just picture steam coming out of their noses and ears.

"Is that a rhetorical question?" I asked grinning widely, "I'd love to have lunch, but as you can see, I've already made plans with my beautiful new friend Hailey," I said gesturing at her, as she blushed a little under the compliment, which only fueled my amusement.

"It wasn't open for negotiation," Jake growled out, both of them reaching for me and I backed up, eyes narrowing. I didn't like that they tried to touch me, it was almost tempting enough to reach out and strike them down just for thinking about forcing me out of here. I doubted if they could. You know, I was really starting to regret training them. I knew being a good person would come back to bite me in the ass somehow.

"Don't get too touchy Jake, if Caleb sees that in your tiny little brains later," I said in an annoyed tone, taking Hailey's hand, mostly because I knew they wouldn't try anything stupid with her right next to me. Wouldn't want to hurt anyone, defeat the purpose of being the La Push heroes.

"Your brothers in enough trouble, both of you are, let's go!" Jared snapped loudly, loud enough to get the dozen or so people in hall's attention. Excellent, now we had an audience.

I smiled now, "I'm not going anywhere with you, come on Hailey, let's eat."

"Sounds good to me," she said glaring at them, as if it bothered her too that they'd tried to force me out of the building. Who knows, maybe it did bother her. Things that bothered us too, usually only when it involved myself or my brothers, but for Random's, it bothered them just on principle. The nicer ones anyways.

"We ordered not to leave without you, sorry Kira," Jake said quietly gripping my arm, so that only I could hear them, though Hailey heard them too. He pulled me, hard enough to make me swing around and almost fall into him.

"No Jake, I'm sorry," I struck out, it was a bad shot, the angle was crappy, but it got him hard enough to knock him backwards a little. Jared wrapped his arms around me tightly. I threw my head backwards, getting him only barely, I guess he saw that coming.

Instead I jumped, and thankfully we were close enough to the lockers that I could use them as leverage and throw my body backwards and push him that way. We hit the ground and I rolled, elbowing him in the face and I moved to stand up. Jared grabbed my ankle and pulled hard, and I smashed the edge of my jaw on the cold hard floor, biting down on my tongue on the process.

"Ow! What the hell Jared," I ground out and before any of us could move an authoritive voice broke through the hallway, making every person down here freeze.

"That is enough!" I raised my eyebrows, standing back up as my jaw continued to throb. Jared and Jake stood as well, all of us facing the principle.

"Bet you didn't count on the principle showing up," I muttered at them, and they glared at me heavily.

"What's going on here?" he asked, coming to a hault in front of us.

"Mr. Grayson, if I may?" he nodded stiffly at Hailey, "Kira and I were about to go for lunch when they showed up and just started yelling at her. They tried to force her out of the school-," Jared and Jake broke into jumbled up words that didn't make a whole lot of sense and when Grayson gave them a look to shut up they piped down. "They tried to force her out and Kira just reacted in self defense."

I'm really starting to like this girl. "You three, my office," he said, turning on his heel and making his way in the same direction he'd come from.

"Want me to come?" Hailey mouthed to me and I shook my head.

I needed to have a conversation with the principle anyways. If I wanted to be who I was just a few months ago, I need to be in the right setting. I needed to be dark. Take what I wanted and feel no remorse. That meant re-shaping everything I chose. Starting with the school. What better place to start then the principle, if we don't count Hurley that is.

The three of us walked on silently and both of them kept shooting me death glares, finally I hissed, "it's your own fault for attacking a younger female student in a high in the first place." They glared even more.

Fortunately they went in before me, and I could hear the principle shouting for about five minutes before he yelled that they were suspended for the next three days. Then he snapped at me to come in and close the door behind me.

"They tell me that they didn't mean any harm and that they apologize," he said, voice coming out a little harsh. "Are you aware that your brother was questioned by police this morning?"

"About that," I said locking the door now and turning back to him. "I expect that you'll keep the police away from my brother and I?"

"Miss. Elliot, unlock my door this instant," I just gave him a small smile in response.

"I told you to keep the police away from us," I said coldly now, and he paused as he stood up, becoming surprised and alert.

"Do you know something about the attack on Mr. Benson?" he asked, walking past me to the door. I reached out at the right moment, shoving him from behind and twisting his arm as I pressed him against the wall. He tried to get out of the grip and I only tightened it.

He grunted in pain, staring at me at an uncomfortable angle "I don't like being ignored Mr. Grayson. Now tell me, did the police inform you of the details of his death?" I asked sweetly, letting my sadism fall out in waves in both my eyes and voice.

His own eyes widened, and he shuddered a little, "I'll take that as a yes. Hard to believe someone could do something so horrid. Whoever committed such a monstrous act must clearly be out of their minds. Best not to upset them, I'm sure they have many friends."

He swallowed thickly, and I loosened my grip, as he slid down to the floor with a dazed look on his face. I knelt down to his level and gave him a devious smile, "don't piss me off, I'm sure you've seen our records and be sure to keep everyone in check, or there wont only be one dead body," I stood back up, going towards the door and opening it. "Oh, by the way, you have a lovely wife, nice talking to you Mr. Grayson." I closed the door, giving him some privacy to compose himself. I couldn't help the grin that grew.

Damn did I ever love being king.

Unfortunately, Sam showed up not five minutes after I'd threatened Mr. Grayson and for a moment I'd thought that Grayson actually had the balls to narc on me. That was not the case. "You got Jake and Jared suspended."

"It was there fault," I insisted, it really was. What idiot or idiots, attacks a girl two years younger them in a high school?

"We need to talk," he said, turning his back on me and exiting the building. Might as well get this over with now.

"Oh and I was worried we wouldn't get to talk," I said sarcastically as I joined him in the parking lot.

The majority of them were there at Sam and Emily's house. Leah included. I took a deep calming breath, didn't need another blow up like last night, before going in after them. "Did you get the police escort too?" I asked, plopping down next to my bored looking brother.

"Yeah, all the way down to the police station, even got to meet Chief Swan," I had been debating how to go about that. Maybe I could just bribe him or something. It wouldn't take long for Bella to figure out where he'd get an ass kicking from. Then again, Chief Swan was friends with the vamps and the the wolves. I needed a new plan for that one.

"Did you kill Gregory Benson?" Sam bit out, before I could respond.

"Now why we would we do such a thing?" my brother asked innocently, I just snickered a little. Too bad sniffing people out couldn't be used as evidence I thought smugly.

"I heard he'd been giving you a hard time in school, just tell us the truth," Emily said in placating tone, mostly to Sam then us.

"I didn't even know his name was Gregory," I admitted thoughtfully.

"As your alpha I demand that you tell me the truth, did you kill Benson or not?" Sam said, so loudly and unexpectedly that I'd jumped in surprise.

"You didn't need to shout," I said in disbelief, but no one was really paying attention to me. Then it clicked in. Sam had pulled rank, I turned to my brother, suddenly very worried. My brother had a passive look on his face, but I could see it in his eyes, he was fighting with something. He was fighting the orders of his alpha, and he wouldn't look anywhere but at me. I held his gaze, keeping mine as calm and as trustworthy as possible. He could beat whatever it was that made him want to betray us, supernatural or not, right?

Finally, he spoke, gaze still holding mine, "No Sam, I did not. I overheard him make a comment about Kira yesterday and ignored it. We were running last night and Kira ran into him. When we caught up, he'd tried to touch her, we got angry, roughed him up a bit. So no, it wasn't us. Maybe you should ask the woman he was sleeping with."

"What woman?" Sam asked confused.

"Did you not sniff her out all over him?" Caleb spat in slight disgust, "Kira insisted we make sure he made it somewhere he could get cleaned up and he went straight to some womans house."

"I didn't know that," Sam admitted frowning. Even the rest of the pack looked a little guilty for jumping to conclusions.

"Clearly, if you'd done your job properly rather then jump to the conclusion that we had something to do with his death just because we have some issues we wouldn't be here. Now can we go back to fucking school now?" I asked coldly, taking my brothers hand and tugging him out the door.

I ignored Jake's call to wait and just got into Caleb's car. I felt bad for ignoring Leah, but again, I still hadn't apologized for nearly going off on her last night and to add to that, I didn't want to have some big apology with my brother watching.

"Close call," he muttered, looking a little disoriented.

"Should I drive?" I asked eyebrows raised, "hey, how'd you do that anyways? I thought Sam's word was law or some crap."

He turned to me, giving me an utterly serious look, "Sam may be pack leader, but he isn't family and he sure as hell isn't my brother. My loyalty is to you and those other four nutjobs. Besides, were not like them anymore then they're like vampires."

"Good point."

**-xxxxx-**

My apology to Leah was rather lame in my opinion, but they weren't exactly my strong suit. I told her we needed to start sleeping in separate rooms because Caleb kept smelling her scent all over the place in my bedroom. That wasn't true, or at least, Caleb hadn't mentioned it. She'd agreed, thankfully, but she wasn't pleased about it and we even spent most of the evening together. Caleb almost made a comment until I shut him down with a look, he hadn't been aware of my first step but I'd already taken it.

Training with Bella had gone well and with the weekend approaching we'd had a decent couple days. We hadn't heard much from our other brothers aside from texts and they said they found something odd about Gabriel's recent history, but they also hadn't elaborated. I knew they'd tell me the truth, but they also wouldn't bother with details until they knew for sure that it was the truth.

I spent lunch with Hailey and her friends the next few days, and I avoided the pack. Caleb said they thought it was because they'd blamed us for the death of Benson. Amazingly, they still hadn't figured it really was us. Sam also couldn't seem to find a way to put Benson at his mistresses place other then his scent being there, so the case more or less went cold.

The day after my not so subtle threat to Grayson, I was pulled out of ISS and even got Hailey excused just by suggesting it in passing as he guided me back to my biology class. The man was scared of me, and if it weren't so pathetic, it'd be comical. It was always was, the fact that a grown man twice my size was scared of someone as small as me was unbelievable.

"Will you be going to the festival tonight?" Hailey asked curiously, both of us exiting out of the gym.

"Yeah, I'm going with my sister," Leah had been pushing for me to join her all week. We'd already discussed going, and it would be public, so I figured it wouldn't be such a bad idea. But I'd also said we'd only be going a short while, and she'd said it was fine, not that she had a choice, she had patrol this evening.

Bella had asked me what I was doing as well, something about preferring to hang out with me rather then some girls at school and Alice and Jasper. Which kind of made me wonder why she suddenly wanted to avoid the pair, and then just assumed she just didn't want to be third wheel, because her own boyfriend was gone all weekend.

"Maybe we could hang out," she suggested, "the parties right after anyways." I'd forgotten about the party. It was perfect, party, relax, drink, maybe find some coke. I was kind of stressing and I'd been endless relentlessly the last few nights, the anticipation of breaking up with Leah was driving me nuts. And it had only been a few days.

We entered the main hall and I noticed a group of people rushing for the doors excitedly. I heard the words 'Caleb' and 'fight' and then tensed, "oh shit." I took off running, and shoving people out of the way, Hailey close behind, looking more worried about me then anything. She probably hadn't heard the other students, whenever things got exciting around us, our senses tended to become very much alert.

We got out into the parking lot, and before I could move forward someone grabbed my arm. I turned to Seth who was gripping my arm tightly. "Don't get yourself into trouble too."

"What's happening?" I asked, glancing back at the four boys fighting. I could see Caleb, but I didn't know the other four boys, but they all looked much strong then them. But Caleb on the other hand looked pissed.

"They were talking about you, Caleb didn't like that much, especially when they made comments about how fuckable you were," Collin explained, not liking that anymore then the others boys seemed to. They didn't look murderous, but they also didn't look pleased.

"How long have they been fighting?" I asked frowning even more. If Caleb didn't calm down, he was going to get arrested. The long the fight went on, the angrier he would get. Especially if it was about me.

"Not long, as soon as he heard your name he hit Kyle over the head with his own guitar," I cringed a little. I rushed forward, shaking off Seth as he gripped me even tighter.

"Kira no!" Hailey shouted after me and I grabbed the back of the head of the boy leaning over my brother, who'd managed to hit him twice before I got to them. He froze and then turned back to me and I struck out hard and fast. The blow sent him flying off of Caleb and I stepped over my brother to the boy who was jumping back up.

Then several teachers showed up to break up the fight, separating everyone. When the principle appeared on scene we got off Scott free. I'd just let Hailey know if I had time to hang out.

**-xxxxx-**

I was waiting for Leah to show up, and for a moment I got a bad feeling. I heard someone shout my name and I glanced around to see Bella, along with two other girls. She threw herself at me and hug me tightly. I could smell vodka on the group. "I'm so glad your okay," she called over the crowd and I gave her a smile. A little worried she'd say a little too much.

"You look beautiful," I said, nodding at her simple blue strapless lace dress, a white ribbon wrapped around her waist and tied at her back.

She gave me a wide flushed smile, "Alice picked it out."

"Of course she did," I said unsurprised, I glanced at the two girls looking at me weirdly and I quirked an eyebrow, displeased with the judgmental staring.

"Lauren, Jess, this is Kira, she moved to La Push a few weeks ago," Bella said, and then frowned when she sensed my obvious dislike for them. She had such a short amount of training, I was surprised she was so in tune with her intuition while she was drinking. That had taken me at least two months.

"Nice to meet you," the moment Lauren spoke I knew why I didn't like her. She reminded me of the cliche's that take high schools by storm. Popular, pretty, almost always liars and manipulative. Of course I was the same, but I didn't back talk people and I didn't pretend to like you. Jessica looked like runner up by the looks of it.

"Nice friends Bella," I commented, not hiding my disdain. The pair glared at me, as if that would scare or intimidate me.

"What's wrong with them?" she asked, pouting a little.

I shrugged, and just lifted my own beer and took a long drink from it. "Where you from?" Jessica asked, and I was surprised she was still here. Normally people try to insult me and then storm off when I make it clear I don't like them.

"Not here," was all I said. I don't trust anyone, and that included people who seemed to want to know things about me.

"Whatever, let's get another drink," Lauren said, grabbing Bella by the arm and moving to drag her off. Bella opened her mouth to pull away, but I'd already intercepted them and removed her from Lauren's grasp. Bella had tried to pull away and she was still pulling when I'd separated them.

"Leave," I said to the duo coldly. I let my eyes shine a little, showing them the violence and rage that people were weary of. I was pretty good at hiding it away, it had been difficult after my other brothers had opened my eyes, but now I had good control of that kind of thing. They practically ran. Even drunk or stoned people know when someone is dangerous. Especially when they showed just how much in a look.

I turned back to Bella and helped her back up, "where is everyone?" Everyone meaning your boy toy and his family.

"Hunting," she said, frowning at her dropped and now spilled out cup.

"They all left you here?" I asked in surprise.

"No, Jasper and Alice are here somewhere. Jasper got all spastic and Alice went to baby him," I blinked, taken aback with her sudden switch in personality. That seemed a little harsh.

"How much have you had to drink?" I asked her eyebrows raised.

"Not much apparently," she said frowning at her now empty cup. Then she just gave me a big smile again, "wow, you do care about me. Your such a good person Kira, you act all big and bad, but you have this big heart. You should fall in love, it feels great," she said giving me another hug and then kissing me on the cheek. At least she wasn't an angry drunk. "Thank you so much for what you've done for us." Then she just disappeared into the sea of faces.

I stared after her, mildly startled with the odd display of affection. I glanced down at the beer in my hand and then shook my head, amusement filling me. Then I got that feeling of being watched. I frowned again, and then searched the crowd.

My eyes landed on a man watching me, leaning against a wall. He had that look about him. He was here for Gabriel, as soon as I realized that I made my way towards him. A group of people moved into my line of sight and when I finally got a look through the crowd again he was gone. Of fucking course, I thought as I looked around, gut clenching, but he was already gone.

"Shit," I muttered and pulled out my cell phone to call Caleb. Whoever that was, had seen me with Bella, regardless of whether or not he'd known she was drinking didn't matter. Bella appeared to have some sort of care for me and he'd seen it. He'd also seen the somewhat protective look I'd gotten. If I didn't handle this properly, Bella may become a casualty and if she was like the rest of us, I couldn't allow that to happen.

"We have a problem," I said, searching for Bella now.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, look, I ran into Bella, she hugged me twice, and one of Gabriel's saw a bit of my territorial side when her friends were with her. I lost him."

"Lost him?" he repeated, as if the words were foreign. They kind of were, it was rare for us to loose someone when we follow them. But he knew I was searching out for him and he had the advantage of diving into the crowd of people.

"Yes, I lost him," I said impatiently. "It's crowded as hell out here."

"Why you in such a crowded place anyways?" he asked, clearly unhappy with my lack of sharing my plans for today. Caleb liked to keep tabs on me, especially since we'd moved here. He worried about twice as much as when we lived in the city.

"Leah's meeting me here. I can't find Bella now either."

"Alright, call Brandon and tell him to meet up with you. I'll check in with Sam and see if anything interesting is happening. He wants me to report in daily, says it's weird that I phased back to normal so quickly but my guess is he's hoping I'll slip up over Benson."

"Is it just me or does nobody understand the word 'evolution' anymore?" I retorted frowning.

I called Brandon still looking for Bella, and when I mentioned the party Hailey had invited me to, I figured that was as good a place as any to take her. There wasn't really anywhere else to take her in the first place.

I wouldn't take her home, because that was like a big green neon sign that said 'attack Kira's new friend here'. I wouldn't take her back to my place, that would only result in the pack showing up and asking questions, and same went for Emily's place. Plus I'd been avoiding her house for days. So that left a party. It was a good a place as any, crowded, there would be enough brunette's there that she'd fit in and even Gabriel's people weren't stupid enough to attack such a place. They'd wait to get me alone. And until my brothers reappeared to take out our latest stalkers, this was the plan.

I felt bad for ditching Leah, and boy was she going to be pissed when she found out I bailed on her to party with Bella, she didn't seem to like Bella much already. Finally, I found her next to those two girls from earlier, shocking, I thought rolled my eyes. "What do you want?" Jenna, or whatever her name was, asked snarkily.

I turned to Bella, ignoring them, "how would you like to party with me instead?"

Her wide grin was all I needed for confirmation, and I texted Hailey to send us the address, then I retexted that address to Brandon. "So where's Caleb been?" Bella asked, as we drove down to La Push.

"With the pack mostly," I said shrugging indifferently. I wasn't great friends with them, so I didn't miss them much. Sometimes I missed Jake and Seth, they were pretty cool, but Seth and I still hung out at home. "Do you mind if we stop at my place, I need to pick something up," like half a dozen weapons, my mind added silently.

"Yeah, I haven't seen Sue in a while, I wonder how she's doing," I shrugged again. I wasn't really all that concerned with my fathers recent marriage. After a moment of comfortable silence she said, "It sucked when Jake phased, he never came around because Sam didn't want me to find out."

"Sam's kind of a tyrant," I said thoughtfully, and hear I'd thought it was just me.

"No, he's not. Sam's just worried about that word will get out or that someone human will get hurt, I can't blame him, especially after what happened to Emily," I glanced at her frowning expression. I hadn't thought she'd been that close to Emily or the others, in the short while I'd been here, she'd never actually visited. At least not while I was around.

"I dont care, he bothers me, all cops do," she frowned even more.

"My fathers a cop," she pointed out, as if I had offended her somehow.

"You dont think I dont know that?" I asked eyebrows raised, "I have nothing against them personally. Just bad memories of them, all of them actually. They either try to hurt or us, or get in our way."

"You think maybe that's because your a dangerous criminal?" she retorted with a slight smirk, which grew when I narrowed my eyes at her, "the Cullen's had a back ground check down on you and your brother. Edward showed me everything."

"Probably hoped you'd stay away from me if you thought I was-," she cut me off.

"Evil?"

"Exactly. Do you think I'm evil?" I asked, this time a little weary of the answer. I cared about Bella on a level that wasn't entirely normal for me, and not normal as in Random feelings normal. No, I cared about Bella, because she may be like us, and she proved she was more and more.

She contemplated this for a couple of minutes and we pulled into the driveway by the time she answered. Whatever alcohol she'd had either had worn off or she was completely serious, either way I got my answer. "I dont think your evil, at least, not from what I've seen. I get the feeling, there is a lot I haven't seen, but I also think whatever your hiding is as fascinating as it is dark."

I grinned, "ah, the allure of darkness, exhilerating stuff isn't it?"

"So I'm right then?" she asked surprised, as if she'd been guessing.

"You are. Though I should probably give you a heads up, were far more scary then a few vampires and werewolves," I warned, climbing out of the car and going into the house. As I'd guessed no one was home.

"Then what are you?" she asked, keeping pace with me as we moved up to my bedroom.

"If I told you, then I'd have to kill you," she raised her eyebrows at the cliche remark, then added, "or finish training you, either or."

"What if I wanted that?" she asked sitting down on my bed.

I paused, wondering if I'd heard that right. "You dont want to be what we are. It has caused far too many problems for me lately," I said shaking my head as I was reminded of Leah for the thousandth time today. I moved towards the closet, opening the door and then opening up the small portable safe on the bottom of the closet. It was about the size of a large mens shoe box or something, and I had three in my room.

"Because of Leah?" I sat up so fast in surprise that the back of my head smashed into the door handle of the closet. The closet door, which I hadn't opened all the way, then bounced back into the wall as I turned to look at Bella. She stared at the gun in my hands, "why do you have a gun?"

"Because I'm a dangerous criminal, why do you have my sketch book?" I grabbed it out of her hands, suddenly flushed as if I'd been caught doing something wrong. I shoved into the top drawer of my night stand, sliding the gun under my back waistband.

"It's okay Kira, it's not that big a deal, I get it," she said, frowning at my now frantic expression.

"Just keep it to yourself," I snapped, man I really needed to loosen up.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

"Can we just go?" I asked sighing heavily, running a hand through my hair.


	12. It's A Highway To Hell

_I see nothing in your eyes, and the more I see the less I like,_

_Is it over yet, in my head?_

_I know nothing of your kind, and I won't reveal your evil mind,_

_Is it over yet? I can't win_

_So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left,_

_I know that I can find the fire in your eyes,_

_I'm going all the way, get away, please_

**-xxxxx-**

Bella and I drove down towards Brianna's house, now I didn't know her personally, she was one of those people that wasn't thrilled about the new student. Mostly because she'd been team captain for both rugby and basketball before we'd shown up. I pretty much over threw her, and it didn't help smooth things over that I was good looking and she was average. Maybe I should go for her position on student council just to really piss her off.

"Does Leah know you have a crush on her?" Bella asked curiously once we'd gotten into the car.

"My god Bella, let it go," I said in exasperation.

"Is that a no?" I glared at her and she gave me an open smile.

"It doesn't matter if she knows or not," I said, clenching the steering wheel tight enough to make my knuckles white.

"So she does know," she was more persistent then my brother was.

"Yes, Bella, she knows," I said sighing heavily.

"She doesn't share your feelings?" I looked over at her suspiciously, why did Bella care? I'd blame her curiosity on the alcohol if she hadn't sobered up a little by the time we'd gotten to my place. She also didn't seem judgmental, so I guess that was a plus, not that I really cared about what she thought, at least not a whole lot anyways. Then again, she'd have to be open minded to date a fucking vampire.

Finally, "she does."

"Then what's the problem?" I gave her a disbelieving look.

"You even have to ask?"

"Yes, I'm asking, is it because she's older then you or because she's your sister in law?"

"Neither," I said shaking my head slightly, this conversation made me want to bang my head against a wall or something. Here I am, discussing the whole thing out in the open with Bella and I wouldn't really even talk to my own brother about it. Maybe because Bella was a girl, and she genuinely liked me, which meant she cared for me to some point. I remembered how Random girls were, or at least the ones I was friends with, didn't necessarily care so much as I liked the details of stuff like this.

"Continue," I scowled at her a little.

"Why are you asking?"

"Because you were acting weird last night and whatever the issue is has caused your usual focus to mess up. I'm just worried about you," I tried not to roll my eyes.

"It's not like Leah can kill me," I pointed out. "Randoms can't hurt me."

"People you love can and if just talking about it is hurting you, like it is right now, then she can clearly hurt you and she seems to be doing a pretty good job at it," I gave her an unimpressed look, this was not Leah's fault, "and it probably feels like it's killing you."

"You know, this whole sharing and talking about feelings thing is making me nauseous," I said, hoping she'd drop it if she knew how irritated I was getting.

"Just talk to me, why do you think I wont understand? What are you so afraid of me knowing, you've told me quite a bit already," she said slightly hurt and frustrated, she really wanted me to open up.

I debated the ramifications of telling her what the problem was, and I already knew she was trustable, so what the hell? "Bella, you've seen what my brother and I are like, what our records show. We have this mentality, oh let's call it a rage problem. When we snap, we get very violent. Whatever you saw in my records is nothing in comparison to the reality of what my brothers and I are. Leah's just too vulnerable. It would end badly for everyone, I could lose her, if not to my own inner self then to all of the people that would love to hurt me."

"That's your reasoning?" she asked in total surprise and disbelief. Then her eyes narrowed, "Edward did that to me once, pushed me away because he was worried he would hurt me, or that bringing me into his world would get me hurt. It has, on multiple occasions, but I'm still here aren't I? And I'm the human!"

"What's your point?" she scowled at me.

"My point is, have you ever thought about how she's going to feel about all of this?"

"Of course I have," I snapped angrily.

With quite a bit of conviction and rather coldly, she said, "Why is up to you? It's her life Kira, the option to back out because of whatever dangers might come from being with you is up to her, not you." Someone's harboring some pent up resentment.

"Are we forgetting the fact that I'm more then a little psychotic? I'm not going drag her into my fucked up life and her not know who I really am. When she finds out the truth about me, she'd have to be insane to still care about me."

"You'll never know until you find out," she said calmly now.

"Then I guess I'll never find out," I said, climbing out of the car to end the conversation. There must've been about a dozen other cars parked along the street, thankfully not a lot of houses or we'd get a noise complaint before midnight. Now I was twice as worked up as I had been what I met up with her. _Fan-fucking-tastic._

The door was closed but I could hear loud blasting music coming from the house, seemingly much louder in the backyard. "I'm not done talking to you," Bella said determinedly, coming up to my left side.

"Well I am! Just drop it for now would you?" I said shaking my head a little. I needed a drink, a strong drink.

We got to the backyard, about two dozen people all over the place. There was a bonfire in the center of the group, and a picnic table was full of people. "Hey you made it!" Hailey said coming towards us and giving me a hug. I returned it tensely, uncomfortable with all of the touching today.

"Hailey this is Bella, a friend from Forks," I said, taking the cup from her and drinking it all in one go. They watched me, a little impressed and when I dropped my arm I nodded thoughtfully, then shook my head, "nope, I need another."

"Good, cause your not leaving until I say so," Hailey said grinning at me, taking my hand and then pulling me towards a keg. I'd forgotten how touchy Random's could be when they drank. Back home, drunk or not, people knew better then to put their hands on me. Hopefully, people would get the picture all over again sooner rather then later. I missed the space I used to get, the fear that people would feel whenever we were close by, the hesitance, unsure if they should leave or stay put.

"Bella Swan, right? Chiefs daughter?" Hailey asked, handing both of us a cup of beer.

"That's me," Bella said, not surprised to find that Hailey had heard of her. Least the word got around quickly.

"How'd you guys meet?" she asked, eyes flickering between Bella and I. Then something occurred to me. She didn't think Bella was the girl I was seeing did she? Well that was amusing.

"We have common friends, Jake and the other boys, Bella and I hang out when she doesn't have her boyfriend or his family breathing down her neck," Bella shot me a look and I just took a nice long pull from the cup, pretending not to see it. Then something else ran through my mind, Hailey knew whoever I'd been seeing was complicated. Great, now she probably thought Bella was cheating on Edward with me. I really needed a better brain to mouth filtering system.

"Oh," Hailey said, confirming my thought.

I changed the subject, "so is this all that's going on, just drinking?"

She raised her eyebrows, "what'd you have in mind?"

"Something with a little more kick," I said shrugging.

"I see, follow me," I glanced at Bella, a silent, 'are you coming?' She shook her head and I let Hailey pull me into the house. I wasn't sure about leaving Bella alone, but she could handle herself and no one would bother her in a crowded area filled with drunken teenagers. Maybe I should give her a gun, I'm sure she'd know how to use one, being the Chief's daughter and all.

"She's pretty," Hailey commented as we strolled into the house together and climbing a set of stairs.

"She's a lot of things, and before you ask, no, she's not the person I'm seeing," I said pointedly, as we entered a bedroom with three other people. Two boys and another girl, the girl having long since passed out and I wondered how much of a bad idea it was to leave her in here with two coked out guys before deciding I didn't care.

All of them were pretty out of it, and I could see several white lines of a powdery substance on a dresser, all cut into eight neat little lines. Perfect, exactly what I'd been looking for.

"Mind if I take a shot at her then?" I burst out laughing, and she grinned at me, letting the door click shut behind us.

"You can't deny she's hot," Hailey said under her breath, going over to look out over the backyard to the partiers, Bella no doubt down there.

I moved to stand next to her, watching Bella as she was introduced to Alyssa and Penn, both girls from our volleyball team. Almost everyone here played sports and then there were just the more popular kids, Alyssa and Penn were two of them. I hoped Bella knew what she was doing, because those two could be total bitches when they were around strangers.

"Your not wrong," I said scanning her thoughtfully.

I'd never looked at Bella in much of a sexual way, she was taken. Not the same way as Leah was unavailable but still spoken for. She was good looking, in that innocent unknowing kind of way. It was endlessly amusing when people that were good looking couldn't see it. It was more respectful when I saw people that were and had managed to use it to their advantage, like myself and my brothers. I wouldn't deny we were all very easy on the eyes, I'd always had a personal confidence about myself and never thought I was beautiful until the boys had opened my eyes. Now I flaunted it and used it as a weapon to get what I wanted.

As I gazed at Bella, I couldn't help but wonder if I had come off that way when I was younger. Sure I was a little shy now and again, depending on the situation, but I could imagine I might've been a lot like her. Maybe that's why I'd begun to get attached to her. Maybe that's why I wanted to make her a part of my family, despite the continuous reasons piling up that clearly said that was a bad idea. Bella would fit right in, I just knew it. But I should test her first, make sure she actually belongs with people like us. It couldn't just be coincidence she was so similar.

"Hailey, whose your friend?" both of us turned to look at a dark haired boy with light colored skin, opening the door behind us.

"Kira, wondering if your were much of a sharer," I said raising my eyebrows, not nearly as polite as I should've asked, but I knew what I wanted and I'd take it if I had to.

He chuckled, finding my expression amusing, "help yourself beautiful, names Carson."

**-xxxxx-**

Half an hour later I started feeling a little tense and edgy and I knew it was time to go find Bella. It really said something that I left her alone so long surrounded by strangers. But hey, if she was like us, she'd fucking flourish.

"Where you going?" Hailey asked pouting a little when I stood up. I moved to the window, not seeing Bella anywhere.

"To hell?" I retorted easily, and she smirked, standing up and following me out. "Forgot Bella was downstairs," I said frowning a little. Forgot in the drug induced haze, but I couldn't deny that I felt like I was flying now. I felt so much better, like I could breathe. The beer was helping too.

As we descended the stairs I rubbed under my nose, making sure there was no evidence of my indulging, Caleb would flip out, bad enough I'm partying. "Why you worried, I'm sure she's fine," Hailey insisted, closer to me then I'd thought considering I felt her breath on my cheek.

"That makes one of us," I muttered, not seeing her anywhere outside.

"Maybe she's downstairs," Hailey commented absently, "there playing pool down there."

I nodded, taking my phone and noticing three calls and three texts. Then I checked out the time. What felt like half an hour had turned out to be an hour and a half. It was going on ten already. I'd forgotten how much time perception changes when your high.

Two calls were from Brandon, a phone call and a text from Caleb, along with two texts from Bella. Everyone was asking me where I was, though Caleb wasn't all that friendly about it. I ignored my brothers for the moment and texted Bella as we began making our way downstairs, halfway through the text she called.

I answered, an odd feeling washing over me and settling in my gut uneasily. "Bella?" I asked, both of us pausing on the steps. Hailey raised her eyebrows, ducking down and looking under the railing to see into the basement.

There was no answer but I could hear something that sounded like a car radio in the background. I narrowed my eyes a little, and Hailey stood up shaking her head. No one was downstairs. "How did you meet Kira again?" Bella's slurred and somewhat even tone asked, but it was a little far from the phone, which made me assume she didn't want whoever she was talking to, to know that she'd dialed me.

"We have common friends," I didn't recognize that voice but it sounded a little older then us, it was hard and somewhat cold. Gabriel's boy. Shit.

"Why would Kira go to Port Angelus so late?" Bella asked, getting a little uneasy, suddenly alert even in her drunken state.

"Probably to kill someone for fun, her and her friends are sadistic that way."

I took off running, dialling Brandon as I bolted from the house. I got through the front door threshold, colliding with Caleb and falling down the few steps. "Gabriel's guy has Bella," I said scrambling up and rushing for the car.

"What are you talking about? You were supposed to be watching her," Caleb pushing himself off of the ground and into a stand.

"I got distracted," I said glaring at him.

His eyes narrowed a little and when he stepped closer to me I just turned on my heels and began making my way towards the car. They'd be heading out of town, and if we were fast enough we could catch up. Caleb grabbed my wrist, spinning me face to face with him. "Are you high?"

I gave him a dark furious look, "is that really the issue right now? Because we have a bigger problem right now!"

"This isn't over Kira," he said giving me a similar angry look. "Split up, and if you get the chance follow them, we still need to know how many other people are with him."

I ripped my arm from his grasp, all of us getting into our own vehicles. As we pulled out I couldn't help but wonder if I had been the first person Bella called, or if she had called for Edward beforehand. The Cullen's were hunting so I suppose she'd call Alice or Jasper rather then me. Did I want to be the first person she called if she were in trouble?

I wasn't even sure what kind of vehicle we were looking for, and it really said something that I was speeding, especially when I got pulled over. I waited impatiently, drumming my hands on the steering wheel as the officer approached my car. "License and registration," I already had the papers and as soon as he turned away I threw open the door and jumped on him.

We hit the ground and I jumped on top of him, punching him twice, knocking him out. Brandon's car passed me and I glanced up at him as he smirked at me and rolled his eyes at me before continuing on. I flipped him off, getting back into my own car with the papers and following behind him.

Once we all got into Port Angelus we split up yet again, and after fifteen minutes of finding nothing I decided I'd be better off taking the roof tops. I got out, texting my brothers to let them know I was hoofing it and then tossed my jacket into the backseat and tying my hair back. The coke and alcohol had burned up on the driveway, it still sung in my veins a little, but I was more or less sober. I wasn't sure how good I'd be taking the rooftops, but this area was clustered with enough old buildings that it would be so difficult.

In hindsight, I really should've given Bella a gun when I had the chance. I shouldn't have left alone, man I was a shitty friend. I sighed heavily, jumping up and grasping the ladder for a fire escape. It was jammed, but I pulled hard enough, using my natural body weight to bring it to the ground. It didn't come all the way down but I could climb now.

Once I got to the roof top, I raised my eyebrows in surprise, that was easier then I thought it would be. I could see a small figure about three blocks from me on a lower building running across it. "Huh," I muttered, running in that direction.

I heard gun shots when she got to the edge, and she was too far for me to see if she'd been shot or just thrown herself off of the roof. I didn't think so, she'd moved rather fast. I swore un my breath, hurrying my pace as the adrenaline picked up on my veins, pumping my body and giving me that added boost. Another figure appeared running after and jumping down the ledge himself.

I wouldn't catch up like this, I need to get back to ground level. I paused, which way would she have gone. The alleys may be a little easier to navigate and Bella wouldn't want to take her captor anywhere that might jeopardize someone else's life so she'd stay in a controlled environment. They would come straight towards me.

I dropped off the ledge, landing on a closed dumpster and I crossed the alley, pressing my back to a small alcove and waited. I cringed a little when I heard two move shots and then Bella whizzed past me. I reached out, wrapping my arms around her and the grab spun us a little. I got my footing, right arm outstretched and let off a single head shot.

Bella collapsed, panting heavily and wide eyed. I watched the body fall to the ground in a heap and moved towards him, kicking the gun away and staring down at him. It wasn't the same man who had been in Forks today. "Fuck me," I muttered, and rifled through his pockets for ID. There was none.

"Who is he?" she asked breathlessly.

"A hitman," I said, throwing a quick glance at her flushed face. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, he got a little rough but I fought him off and ran," she smiled faintly, staring down at the mans body. "I guess I have you to thank for that."

"Oh you mean for almost getting you killed?" I asked sarcastically.

She chuckled humorlessly, "if you hadn't taught me how to fight I would probably be dead right now."

I said nothing to that, just took my phone and texted my brothers to meet me at home and that I'd found her. "Do we just leave him here?" she asked skeptically, as I turned and walked away.

"Of course, if were lucky no one from Forks will recognize him. We can't have fingers pointed at us too much right now," I said shaking my head slightly. "Look Bella-."

"Don't worry about it Kira. I'm fine," she insisted.

"No, your not fine. I was reckless. I got territorial on you today and someone fucking saw it, someone that wants to hurt me. That wasn't the guy that saw you," I said pointing back at the body. "Then I went and got all messed up upstairs and you got into a car with a stranger, and may I add, what the fuck?"

"He said you sent him to get me, I figured he was a friend, or do you have any friends that aren't criminals and murderers?" she asked scowling at me for chastising her. Then her eyes went wide, "what do you mean territorial?"

"Never mind, let's just go home. I'm enough trouble," I muttered tiredly, turning and going back down the alley towards the parking lot. She grabbed my arm and I pulled away from her. She narrowed her eyes in a challenging way at the dark look I gave her. "Don't touch me right now."

"Or what? You'll tear my heart out to satisfy some horrible addiction you have?" I tensed at her harsh words, fear creeping into my heart.

"You don't know anything about me," I said coldly, "you dont know me at all."

"Don't I? Because I've been learning quite a bit about you in the short time we've spent the together, and even more from your friend back there," she said glaring at me.

"This isn't a road you want to go down Bella, it's a fucking highway to hell, just let it go."

"You like to keep all this stuff about you hidden, don't you realize the more you hide, the more you show?" she asked voice becoming all knowing.

"What are you talking about?" I asked sharply, her words not making much sense in my mind.

"Everyone can tell your five kinds of fucked up Kira! You, your brother, Brandon, it's obvious. Your not normal, whatever is, and it's dark and twisted and yeah it terrifies people. But it also makes you stronger, more powerful then other people and that also scares the crap out of people. This thing that's inside you that makes you this way shouldn't be happening and you know that," I stared at her, mind not surprised, that was kind of the idea.

"it scares people because other people can't be this way, only a select few as far as we can tell," I said slowly, gauging her reaction. She nodded once, as if already knowing this.

"I want to have that kind of power, I want to be strong too," she sounded so sure that she wanted this that I almost said sure instantly. But that was a bad idea, turning Bella into something like us even just on a smaller level would piss off so many people.

"Did you not just hear me say 'select few'?" I asked rolling my eyes.

"Yeah, and I know that whatever is in you that can you make this way, is in me too," she said shrugging. "You know it and I know it. Or we wouldn't feel so connected."

"We feel connected because I'm your guide, your mentor," I pointed out, that forge a pretty strong bond in itself.

"Maybe, but you also feel like a sister. I thought Alice was like a sister to me, but I don't feel this connection with her that I do you," she said honestly, a little guiltily.

"Bella, it's not as easy as one two three," I said sighing, now I really just wanted to crawl into bed and go to sleep for a week. "You don't know what your asking."

Very softly, "I think I do. I've seen enough. You get some sort of thrill when you kill people, I get that. But that doesn't mean I have to, too."

"It isn't an option, you can fight it if you want, but it is like an addiction, only the Crave, as we call it, hits when were enraged and that will happen a lot. When you start to need to feel that kill, it'll be all you can think about. You'll want to hurt everyone except for those like you. You don't understand what your asking for, and you want want it."

"Then tell me! This is my decision, do you not want me or something?" she asked in frustration.

"Wanting you to be a part of what we are is not the point! Your future changes very swiftly and quite frankly you'll lose everyone in the process, everyone you love you will terrify, Edward included. The fact of the matter is, in the end, they wont mean anything to you anymore, not matter how much you want them to," she snapped her mouth shut as soon as I mentioned Edward, as if he hadn't crossed her mind at all. I stared at her seriously, holding her gaze, "you do not want this."

"That's for me to decide, tell me everything and let me choose for myself," she after a long thoughtful moment.

"What's this really about Bella? Does it really bother you so much that your human and the Cullen's aren't?" she gave me a sideways look as we continued walking again.

"Of course not, I want to be more then I am. I've known since I met you that you could help me. I'm grateful, really. But it's just not enough anymore," she said looking up at the sky, as if remembering something.

"You do realize if I give you this, your newborn year will be horrible, right?"

"Blood freaks me out," she said shrugging and I frowned at the ground, she added, "even just a little bit."

"No it doesn't, it just has a different effect on you then other people, that's all," I said, remembering how I had been before my own little transformation.

"What do you mean?"

"It's not the fact that there's a little blood that freaks you out, it's the fact that you want it everywhere," she frowned, caught off guard, and then looked at me weirdly. "Blood used to make me squeamish as well, I finally figured out why."

The trip home was mostly silent before I pulled up in front of her house. I turned down the radio, the only sound that carried throughout the ride back. I handed her two guns and a knife. "I'm not very good with weapons," she said frowning at them sitting on her lap.

"I'll teach you how to use them. Keep them on you always, and there not registered so keep them hidden."

"So will you tell me? Everything?" she asked, searching my eyes for something, some sort of answer to a question she hadn't asked.

"I'll tell you, but keep in mind it's messy and it's more of a warning then anything else," she nodded once, satisfied with my answer and climbed out of the car. Neither of us needed to mention her keeping this evening and the weapons to herself.

Now to go home and deal with my hysterical brother. I'll also need to mention whatever Bella decides, but I figured I'd wait till after we talked this thing out. God only knows how pissed of Leah must be with me too. _Fuck my life. _Everything just seemed to be falling apart around me, and it's all my fault. Maybe it was punishment, for all of the horrible things i'd done. Actually, it was probably punishment for being with Leah, for everything i was doing to her, it's not like she deserved it. She just had the bad luck of meeting me and falling into my trap.

**-xxxxx-**

_This will be all over soon,_

_Pour salt into the open wound,_

_Is it over yet? Let me in,_

_I'm waiting, I'm praying, realize, please start hating_

_You take the breath right out of me,_

_You left a hole where my heart should be,_

_You got to fight just to make it through,_

_'cause I will be the death of you_

*so i guess there's been some confusion with this story, if there are questions, feel free to ask and I'll answer them at the top of the next chapter.


	13. I've Never Felt Heartbreak Before

_I'm your piece of mind_

_Fight for what you've made yourself believe_

_Tell me what you find, will you cross the line to sabotage me?_

_I'm wide awake, I'm wide awake_

_If you could save me now, would I want you to?_

**-xxxxx-**

Both Brandon and Caleb were waiting for me when I finally got home. Everyone appeared to be asleep, as they were passing a cigarette back and forth, both of them looking highly disapproving. I took a deep breath, preparing myself mentally before crossing the driveway to them.

"You got stoned tonight," Caleb said in a clipped tone.

"I know eh? Who'd a thought, I, Kira Elliot, of all people would do drugs? It's crazy isn't it?" I asked, voice dripping in sarcasm. They mirrored furious expressions that only doubled my amusement. Over protective brothers, it was endless really.

"You were supposed to be looking after Bella and you left her unprotected to go get high! What's worse, you went partying and said nothing to me?" yeah, cause that was the worst part, disobedience, "Do I need to cuff myself to you just to keep you safe?" Caleb asked, eyes barely containing his frustration.

"You could try it, but I can't guarantee we'd both be alive at the end of the day," I said smirking at the image of one of us dragging around the other unconscious. I wouldn't put it past him to go to that extreme just to keep an eye on me.

"Alright, enough, what did you tell the girl?" Brandon asked, his own voice just as hard and angry. I didn't think it was that big a deal, at least not anymore, the guilt had died out and Bella seemed to be just fine to me. Besides, she'd said it herself, I'd taught her to look after herself and she'd done just that. Even managed to think past the drunk haze she'd been, that in itself was impressive.

"The guy told her who we are," I said frowning a little, more of what we are then who I guess.

Neither of them said anything for over a minute, "told her how much?"

"Basically that were bloodthirsty savages," I said, tilting my head thoughtfully, I wonder what she must've thought when he'd said that. She said it herself, that we were dark and twisted, just hadn't known how exactly.

"Did she believe him?" Caleb asked tensely, probably worried about the pack finding out. That's all we needed, the La Push guardians on our ass asking questions we probably wouldn't answer.

"Of course she did, she didn't seem freaked out. She wants to know everything now though," I said sighing heavily.

"Really?" Brandon asked incredulously, "she wasn't scared at all?"

"No, more fascinated than anything," I said shrugging once. I eyed them a moment, debating how to put this into words, "she wants to know everything and I'm going to tell her. Because I think Bella Swan is just like us."

"That is a horrible idea, what about Edward? If you tell her too much she'll change, I mean look at her now, she's not the same girl we met just a few months ago," Caleb's uneasy voice cut in abruptly.

"You can't deny that there's something inside of her that can make her like us, she wants to be like us," I wondered why all of a sudden I'd had a change of heart. Both of my brothers were clearly against this, well Caleb was, Brandon hadn't much of a comment on the subject.

"Are you sure about this Kira? How much do you even know about her?" Brandon's cautious voice broke through my train of thought. Was I sure about this?

"it's up to her. She can use the extra training now that she's become a target." Brandon and Caleb shared steady looks, before looking at me, all of us having a silent conversation. I couldn't help but wonder if Caleb had even told the others of his own transformation.

"This isn't something we can decide alone, we'll need to discuss it with the others," Brandon said finally, gaze holding mine seriously, "determine whether or not she will fit in with us, then tell her what we are and we'll ask the others about completing her training."

"Agreed."

**-xxxxx-**

We spent another twenty minutes going over everything in detail about what had transpired this evening before saying goodnight. Caleb had gone in, completely exhausted, Sam had been trying to push around in his head all night and I guess he'd struggled to keep him out after a while. I didn't feel bad about the fact that I spent a whitely fantasizing about murdering Sam just because he'd made my brother uncomfortable, I'm sure Brandon felt the same way.

"How do I test her anyways?" I asked, sitting on the trunk of Caleb's car.

"Same way as we tested Caleb and you," I raised my eyebrows, recalling Adrian's words as he set us up to get murdered, if you want a fish to swim, put it in water. I'd never forgotten those words. Or that day.

"I don't think that's an option," I thought of the problems that would arise, it was definitely not an option and I didn't have the resources to pull that off.

"Then make her kill someone," my eyebrows shot up in surprise, and I turned to see if he was serious or not. He was. "Do the exact same thing that happened to you. Put her in a kill or be killed situation."

"That is a _very_ bad idea," I said rolling my eyes at him.

I heard a rustling, and looked over to see Leah come out of a trail. She looked pissed. "Oh god kill me now," I muttered under my breath, both of them hearing and not caring in the slightest.

"I'll see you later," Brandon straightened up, giving me a kiss on the forehead and going towards his bike.

"Leah," I greeted, feeling her wrath as if it were my own. It was all in the eyes.

"What happened to you tonight! You ditched me to hang out with Bella?" she growled angrily.

I ran a hand through my hair, might as well get this over with now. "Leah, I care about you, I do. But this whole thing can't go on."

She tensed, eyes hardening as she realized where I was going with this. "You have to have known this wasn't going to go anywhere. Were family now, and it needs to be just that and nothing else."

"Where's this coming from?" she asked, a hurt look in her eyes and yet a coldness in her tone that made me second guess what I was doing all over again.

"It's been a long time coming and you know it. Your older then me, our parents are married. We just wont work and we never will," I moved off of the car, standing closer to her then I would've liked at this moment, and took a step back instantly.

We stood there at a stalemate for a few minutes and I kept my own eyes and expression empty and void as I watched the array of emotions in her own eyes. I felt my heart break a little, and I took another step back as if that would keep my own heart from falling apart as I watched hers do the same. I turned and made my way towards the house, she followed behind after a moment and I spun around to her when I reached the door, "it's over Leah, do you understand what I'm saying?"

She narrowed her eyes at me, "no, I don't understand. One minute everything is fine, great even, and all of a sudden you want to end what we have?" She looked like she wanted to hit me. I'd probably let her, it's not like I didn't deserve it.

"It's not all of a sudden. I've known for a long time I would be the one ending this," I said calmly, though I was struggling to keep my heart from picking up or slowing down. I couldn't give away my resolve, I just _couldn't_, it wasn't an option.

"What's changed?" she asked, shaking her head slightly, looking away as her jaw and hands clenched and unclenched, as if she was holding something back. I couldn't be sure of what, her anger maybe? Afraid that if she wolfed out she'd hurt me, when I was the one she should be afraid of.

"Nothing," I said letting my voice become even a bit amused. "I'm the same person I've always been. I'm glad I was able to help you come to some sort of peace with yourself. But I always be the same person, and I don't care much for trivial things, this being one of them. I'll admit, I'm quite fond of you, but that's as far as it goes."

Her eyes shot to mine again, widening a little, very slowly she said, "you don't care about me?"

"I didn't say that."

Loudly now, "do you care about me or not? It's a simple question Kira!"

"Stop making this more complicated then it needs to be! Your smarter then this Leah and you know it wouldn't last! It was physical, that's all it ever was," I said, bristling at her hostility now.

"So you used me?" she said, a voice of finality in her tone, I said nothing, not confirming or denying it. Again she shook her head slightly, this time in disgust. "Your a selfish, manipulative bitch."

"So she's finally getting the picture," I retorted easily, smirking now, letting myself go on autopilot.

"I don't believe you," she said angrily, the harshness in her tone rising.

"Believe what you want, this is happening whether you like it or not," I turned, reaching for the door handle. She took me by surprise, grabbing my arm, twisting me and shoving me up against the wall so hard I lost my breath for a moment. Her fist flew into the side of the wall next to my head hard enough to send bits of plastic siding all over the place and I flinched slightly. My eyes met hers, staring at the barely concealed rage and pain in her eyes I felt my gut churn in response, I was the cause of all this.

"_I don't believe you Kira_. You can tell yourself you have no feelings for me all you want, but I can read you like a book now, and I can see the lies as if they were my own. You can convince the rest of the world you don't care about me, but I know better."

I regarded her carefully, "you don't know me, you never did and you never will. As I said before, this is happening and you can't stop it." Neither of us could, it had to be done.

"Even if I told you I imprinted on you?" her voice was so sure and calm with unmasked pain now.

"What?" I asked, not understanding her words at all. It took a full two minutes for her words to fully register and sink in. By that time she'd already pulled away from me and gone inside, slamming the door behind her.

"Oh no," I whispered wide eyed, staring out across the yard as I sunk to the porch floor. I wasn't seeing or hearing much of anything other then my own rushing blood and pounding heart.

How could I have not known something so obvious? It all made sense now. The fact that I'd been able to feel should've been an obvious red flag that we'd imprinted. But everyone had made it clear that Leah wasn't a normal wolf, and I certainly wasn't a normal human. There hadn't been females and the imprinting was to pass on the gene so that future wolves can be triggered. It hadn't even crossed my mind that Leah could've imprinted on me, I was a girl, she was a girl, it's not like we could have kids. It all seemed so impossible, and yet she seemed so sure of this. This was unbelievable and I'd never felt more screwed my entire life.

Now? _Now_ I had no idea what to fucking do. Should I stick to my resolve and let go? Was that even an option? I'm sure I could do it if I wanted to badly enough, but I knew in my gut that would be torture. Should the fact that Leah imprinted on me change things? I wouldn't think so, everything was still the same, just more complicated. I'd seen what happened to Sam and Emily, I could still hurt her, even if the bond of an imprint was present, I mean, shit happens.

I sat there for hours unsure of how to work this, there just weren't any options, my brothers made it clear that things would not end well. But fuck, Leah and I were meant for each other, I couldn't just get over something like that. I never would've guessed that I would have a soul mate and yet here I am, having just broken my soul mates heart. God I was a horrible person. What do I do?

"Nothing," my brothers voice broke through my thoughts and I jumped about a foot in the air, turning and looking up at him.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Do nothing, it changes nothing Kira. Nothing good will come from you two being together. If she ever finds out what we are, she wont love you anymore, she wont want to," I looked away, out over the yard as I realized a new day had begun. I'd been out here all night? That seemed hard to believe. Hell, everything seemed hard to believe. And my heart hurt, it had all night. Was it because of what I'd just done? Would it always feel this way?

"I know," I said standing a little unsteady, body aching from having stayed in the same position so long.

"Then what's the problem?" he asked in frustration.

I rounded on him, glaring heavily, "don't make me hit you." I brushed past him, going into the house to shower and change. I wouldn't be able to sleep, not with my mind reeling.

**-xxxxx-**

_What will it take this time,_

_To break away, forget your face,_

_And everything you said? I cant hold on to you anymore,_

_How could you make me the promises? I was confused,_

_Cause I never thought that you'd treat me like this_

**-xxxxx-**

Once I'd finished showering I checked my phone, Bella wanted to talk and Hailey wanted to hang out. I texted Bella that I'd come by for a bit, and told Hailey I'd let her know what I was doing tonight in a few hours. I really needed to get out of the house and soon, it couldn't have been more tense.

It was almost as if now that I'd recognized the imprint everything in me had shifted. I could feel Leah, I knew exactly where she was in the house and it wasn't helping either. Even as I put distance between us the pain in my chest hadn't dulled. I kind of felt like banging my head against a wall, as if that would help me think clearly.

"You look like crap," was Bella's greeting as she opened the door.

"Thank you, that just warms my heart to know that," I said sarcastically, going straight for the kitchen to get coffee. "Where's your dad, working?"

"Yeah, he'll be gone all afternoon."

She watched me for a moment as I poured myself a cup of coffee, "what happened?"

I tensed a little, "Leah happened," I said, voice breaking slightly as I turned to face her.

Her expression hardened, "did she hurt you?"

"More like the other way around," I said shaking my head, forcing back the tidal wave of emotion as I considered what I'd just done for the millionth time. "I broke it off with her and she told me she imprinted."

"On you?" she asked not bothering to cover up her shock.

I sighed, nodding once as I took another drink from the cup. "Yeah, Leah imprinted on me."

"Wow," she said, still in shock and I said nothing and just pursed my lips. "What are you going to do?"

"Absolutely nothing, what's done is done. You know, I've never felt heart break before," I said thoughtfully, head tilting at the realization, she raised her eyebrows curiously, "I dont really care for it."

"Nobody does."

I changed the subject, "Come on, you and I are going on a little field trip," having an idea and coming to yet another bad decision. Before I could back out I set everything up, texting everyone and making it seem like we were still in town, when in fact we would probably we gone all night. I wonder how I would react around Bella if I let my cravings take over. She wasn't totally like us yet, but I never got much of an urge to hurt her, at least no really us.

"Where?"

"My hometown."

**-xxxxx-**

"What's the plan here exactly?" she asked as we pulled into the city.

"I'm going to show you firsthand what I am, and if you still want to be what I am, then I'll explain and teach you everything," I said evenly, glancing at her surprised expression.

"Your going to kill someone?" she summed up, unsurprised and looking not the least bit bothered. Wow, she really had changed over the last little while.

"Pretty much, you'll see just how bad we are. Fair warning, it's not pretty," she rolled her eyes, looking a little excited as we cruised the streets. It was very late now. Thank god it was Saturday. It was already going on six o'clock.

"Does your brother know were here?" she asked eyebrows raised.

"No, he's been over protective ever since we got here. Everyone's gunning for me, that's why I decided to come back home for this, no one would expect it and by the time Caleb figured out we were gone we'd already had a four hour head start," I said honestly, having turned off my phone once we'd left.

"He's going to pissed," she commented thoughtfully, glancing down at her own cell phone, having turned it off when both Alice and Edward had called, I could only imagine how frantic everyone was getting over our disappearance. It didn't help that the Volturi were interested in the both of us either. No one would look for us here.

"How's this 'Crave' thing work anyways?" she asked as we pulled up into a parking lot. I'd debated going to Adrian's house but thought better of it. Well it was more like the family house.

"Once you get control over yourself, it's merely like flipping a switch inside of you. When I do flip, I'll need you to be very careful and keep your distance from me, I'm not sure if I'll try to hurt you or not. I've never been on this end of the stick before," I said shrugging once.

"What do you mean? Why should I keep my distance?" now she looked really confused.

"Just be alert once I flip, you'll see it. It's almost as if a part of me will change, you wont even have to see it, Random's: people not like us, will feel it instinctively. They'll shy away," I explained as best as I could, but again, I'd never had to define anything before. This was far better then Adrian's teaching a fish how to swim thing. At least I could tell right away if Bella could handle what we are by watching me in action.

"How many people are you planning to kill?" she asked a little on edge now. I briefly pondered whether or not this fact bothered her. It didn't apper to, but I guess we'd find out.

"Don't worry, I wont kill a bunch of innocent people. It's a bar for people like me, murderers, criminals, you name it, they're in it," I said slipping my own weapons out of view onto my persons. This whole ordeal was probably a better stress reliever then my get fucked up plan, especially with everything that had happened last night with Leah. I pushed the thoughts from my mind, I wouldn't be able to bury my humanity if I thought about her right now. Leah had the ability to destroy the person I had come to love just by being in my memory, and that angered me. I missed the girl I wanted to be. I wanted her back. This was the perfect way to do that.

"That doesn't answer my question."

"I don't know yet. It depends on how many people attack me, just watch from the top balcony and whatever you see, stay out of it. Even if you were Brandon or Caleb or one of the others I might still hurt you if you touch me at the wrong moment," she said nothing and I threw a quick look at her. "You need to tell me right now if your ready to see this, because it's going to get very messy and very scary."

She stared out the front window of the car for a moment, contemplating the next few minutes, and it would only be a few minutes, we did have a limited window after all. She turned to me now, that same certainty and determination in her eyes. "Show me."

I grinned a little, taking a deep breath as I let my entire mentality fall away. I felt a shift in my entire being, ice seep into my veins and blood, cooling my body and changing it, altering my mind along with it. Bella's eyes widened as she watched the change in my eyes, nothing changing physically and yet the darkness just burst and fell from me in waves as I left my savagery show. I licked my lips a little, fingers twitching and body humming as the urge to tear shit apart birthed all over again. It was like I'd never felt such an inner hunger, a hunger for something that no food, or drink, no drug or sexual experience could ever satisfy. It was a dark primeval craving that only demons straight out of hell could feel. It was all mine and it was the most empowering thing I'd ever felt, and it only got stronger and stronger every time I called upon it.

Bella shivered a little, unable to look away and I could just sense the goose bumps that rose across her body. I eyed her a moment, feeling a fondness and a want that was usual from the norm that I felt around Random's during these short moments. "I want to watch now," she said, having gazed at me in a sort of awe.

I grinned deviously, "then let's go."

We got out of the car, and Bella kept sneaking glances at me, but I was solely focused on one thing, this pit in my stomach, as if I were desired something and this anticipation that had begun to bead through my body with excitement. I loved it, knowing I was about to over indulge as if killing humans had become like eating chocolate.

I'd picked this bar because I had been arrested here twice because of one specific narc that continued to get on my nerves over the last few years. Generally we stayed away from this area because of how many people looked for us around here, but again no one would expect us here. It was also too early for many people to be here.

We walked into the bar, and I noted four people were here, I smiled when no one noticed me locking the door and flipping the open sign off. "Balcony?" she asked, voice somewhat far away as I got into game mode, a thrill shooting through me.

I just nodded, eyes landing on the man I was looking for. He had his back turned to me, playing pool with another man. Then just the bartender and a cop at the counter on a bar stool. He didn't have his gear on so he was either undercover or off-duty, I didn't care.

I looked up at the balcony, seeing Bella lean against the railing and watching me carefully, looking completely at ease. Yes, she was just like us. I walked to the counter, reaching to the other side and grasping the neck of a half filled bottle of gin. I unplugged it, taking a longer hearty drink, surprised that no one aside from the officer had noticed my arrival. He didn't seem to care much either.

I moved up behind Daniel, tapping on the shoulder and giving him a playful smile. "I've been meaning to pay you a little visit," he whipped around fast, striking out with the pool stick as if it were a bat. I caught the end of it, ripping it from him and spinning twice hard and fast, both times getting him across the face with the end of it. He hit the ground unconscious and I turned and launched it at the bartender who had been in the process of lifting a shot gun. The pool stick lodged itself several inches into his throat and I felt a dark smile creep across my lips in satisfaction as he dropped to his knees choking on his own blood.

I took another drink, feeling movement on my right as the next pool player stepped up to bat. I smashed the bottle over the edge of the pool table and then side stepped when they lunged at me, gin all over the place. I kicked out, sending him sprawling over several bar stools and onto the ground.

I turned again only to get a hard hit across the face from the officer. They must've expected it to have a bigger impact on me, considering the look on their face when the only result was for my head to snap to the right. I brought shattered end of the bottle up, only enough to cut through the skin from their navel to the top of their stomach. My left fist shot forward, punching them in the nose and breaking it, sending them to the ground as well, intestines sliding to the ground.

To my right I saw the Daniel's pool opponent rush me again and I let us collide, and as we hit the ground I forced him over me in a tumble before jumping back up. I rushed for the bar counter, jumping over the edge, grasping yet another bottle and whipping it at the man as he followed over the wooden ledge. It burst over his chest and in the few seconds it took him to regain composure and balance I'd grabbed a booklet of matches and lit it. He gasped audibly, and I smirked into his horrified eyes before tossing it at him effortlessly.

I strolled back around the counter, unable to take my eyes off of his burning figure, his screams like music to my ears. "Daniel's waking up," Bella called, dropping down off the balcony onto a booth table. I'd forgotten she was here.

"So he is," I said strolling towards him, grin still growing. I kicked him hard in the face, warmth spreading through my chest as the crack of his jaw. I stomped on his back right shoulder blade, breaking that in the process, and all crying out caused him was more pain. "You know, you've been a pesky little fellow to me and mine, it's too bad we can't play a little longer," I said pouting a little, stepping on his other hand to keep him in place. Though with the amount of pain I was sure he was in, I'd doubt he'd be able to move much. I wished I could have him on his back rather then his stomach, that way he could get a clear view of my face as he died.

He choked something out, blood splattering across the floor and I could just imagine the way my eyes must've danced delightedly at his pain and terror. I looked up to Bella, wondering, briefly, how she was handling this. She looked more curious then scared, maybe a little weary, but otherwise thoughtful. I pressed my other foot over the back of his neck now, very slowly putting pressure. He struggled weakly for a moment, before gasping and thrashing pointlessly as his neck broke agonizingly slow.

As the final crack sounded I stepped away, not having taken my eyes off of Bella, my own hunger having vanished as my vengeance sated. "Still think you want to be what I am?" It wasn't as bloody as the norm, but it got the idea across by the looks of it.

She stared at me differently now, as if looking at me in whole new light, like I was a different person. Eyes narrowed she looked around as the bar slowly caught fire, "we should leave."

"Indeed," I hadn't felt calmer in days.

**-xxxxx-**

It wasn't until I crawled into bed late that night that todays events had caught up to me. Everyone had still been looking for me when I'd returned home, not a single person having come across us on the way back into town. Both Sue and dad were fast asleep, and they were the only ones home. I didn't feel the need to let anyone know we'd returned. An argument was inevitable and I hadn't slept in a while, I finally felt good enough to sleep after today.

I didn't need to verbalize that she keep today to herself and she also knew I'd leave her alone until she came to her own decisions, a part of me still hoped she'd turn her back on the possibility of what she could become. But I knew better than that, it would only be a matter of time before she came asking for more.

Bella and I had spent the entire ride home silent, aside from the goodbye's it had been dead quiet. It wasn't an awkward silence, just silence. Both of us lost in our minds, the only thought on my mind was how much better I felt.

I also couldn't help but be reminded of what Caleb had said earlier that morning. Leah could never love the real me. I was a monster and I got the feeling I always would be. For now, I'd need to learn to make peace with that all over again. It hadn't been an issue before, I'd always loved the horrible creature I'd become, she was amazing to me. But now? Now I had doubts that this was the person I wanted to be, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

It was just too late to go back, even now that I was beginning to regret the last few years with every breathing day that I felt the ache in my chest. I missed Leah and she felt just out of reach, it hurt but until I figured some shit out for myself, I would have to learn to live with. At least until I found out how to either get my old self back, despite all of the lines I'd crossed willingly to get here. Either way, I would somehow fix myself, I just hoped Leah would still want me in the end. I guess that what it all came down to at the end of this story, it all boiled down to Leah and what she would choose for us at the end of the line.

I sighed, here I'd been hoping to sleep easy. Staring up at the ceiling as I contemplated how to fix my messed up life. "I can fix this," I whispered, eyes watering a little as everything began to weigh down on me.

**-xxxxx-**

_I'm your ignorance paid the price to dance,_

_And fell to my knees, love is dangerous,_

_And when it comes to this nothings for free._


	14. The Monster Lurking Under The Surface

_The street's a liar, I'm gonna lure you into the dark,_

_My cold desire, to hear the boom, boom, boom of your heart,_

_The danger is I'm dangerous, and I might just tear you apart_

**-xxxxx-**

I didn't sleep well Saturday night, or morning or whatever, in the end I got up before sunrise and went on a run. I felt much more at ease then I had after my kills last night, but even then, the pain in my chest was still present.

I moved out to the edge of the yard, debating which way to go before crossing the street and heading for Forks. This way I wouldn't have to worry about running into someone I didn't want to talk to. I briefly pondered how crazy everyone had gone looking for Bella and I, I smirked.

I moved through the trees, passing the clearing we'd done the training in. A flash of when Leah had nudged me towards Sam and my brother swept through my mind, that ache setting again. I left the clearing, picking up speed and letting my thoughts fall away as I focused on the running.

It's kind of hard to describe what running feels like. Almost as if you become another person, not even a person, some sort of animal or something, especially in the woods. I could almost imagine what it must feel like to run as a wolf. I wondered what it felt like to them. I still didn't think I'd appreciate being a huge hulking animal. I enjoyed running, it was the only thing in the world that made me feel like I wasn't insane. Well the running and Leah, again as I thought of Leah that throbbing pulsed just under the surface. I ran faster.

After about another twenty minutes I found myself walking down a small stream, dragging my feet through the cool water. I knelt down, washing my face with it and sighed as it soothed the heat in my body.

"Kira?" I startled in surprise, standing back up, blade in hand as I turned to the somewhat familiar voice. It was Jasper Cullen or Hale or whatever.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked, moving through the knee high water towards him.

"Getting away, none of us sleeps, it gets boring in the house at night," I nodded, that made sense. "It's barely five, what are you doing out this way?"

"Running," I said gesturing down at my body, my gear barely concealing the important parts.

"I see," he quickly averted his eyes and I smirked, sitting down on the grass and then falling back, enjoying the coolness of the ground. "Do you mind if I join you?"

"Go for it," I said, eyes closed as a breeze swept over me.

"Why are you hurting?" my eyes shot open, and I turned to look at him oddly. They'd all made it clear that they couldn't see anything, feel anything or hear anything related from us ability wise. "It's in your eyes kid."

"Don't call me kid, you may be older then me but I doubt you've aged as much as I have," I said in a clipped tone.

"You don't know that," he countered, eyes shining a little as he recalled some part of his history. "I'm not like the rest of the family. I'm darker, more vicious. I've no doubt you've seen horrible things and experienced some pretty scary things yourself, but your not nearly as bad a person as I am."

"Now you shouldn't be so sure," I said smirking, "you can't get worse people then me, ask Bella."

His eyes narrowed, "where did you take her yesterday? She was acting weird and she wouldn't say a word."

"On a little field trip. She wanted to see how far my pathology went and I obliged, I believe I may have scared her some, it was for her own good."

"Hope you didn't tell her that, she can't stand when people say 'it's for your own good'," he said in an ominous voice that made me chuckle.

"I can't recall, it's been a long weekend," I said rolling my eyes a little, chest aching as everything kept coming back around to Leah.

"How so?" he asked curiously, and I stared at him.

"It doesn't matter really. It just felt endless to me, that's all," I said closing my eyes again.

"What is it about you and your brother that's so strange?" he asked after a moment of thoughtful silence.

"I don't know, I'm guessing Carlisle couldn't figure it out?" I'd imagine having blood on your hands, innocent or not, was more then a little empowering, mix that with a bad attitude, anger issues and free running and you've got what I call The Elliot Insanity, and the best kind of insanity you could come by.

"He has some theories but he's virtually clueless, and we all get the feeling there's something your not telling us," no accusation in his voice just open curiosity. Interesting.

"Your not wrong, you couldn't count high enough the things just lurking under the surface," I said in a dreamy voice as the faces of all my victims surfaced, their cries and screams almost creating this terrible melody. It was beautiful in the worst way, I always did adore beautiful melodies telling terrible things. Maybe that should be my new motto.

"Are you ever going to tell me what's hurting you so much right now? It's all I'm sensing on you, and yes, this I can feel it, with or without my ability," I just shrugged. I was not talking to a Cullen about this, it was bad enough I'd told Bella what went down. I wonder what Caleb must've thought when he over heard our little break up scene.

"Shit went down, what difference does it make? It'll pass."

Jasper was quiet so long that I almost expected him to be gone when I opened my eyes again, he wasn't, he was watching me with a somber expression. "Pain that deep never goes away Kira."

I was tired of this, I stood, stretching a little, "then I guess I'll learn to live with it wont I?" With that I took off back into the woods and back to the place I was supposed to call home and now viewed as hell.

**-xxxxx-**

The rest of the day was uneventful, Leah didn't show up at the house at all. When she had I hadn't even been around to talk to her, she was in and out in less then a minute. Seth was sympathetic, until I snapped at him to let it go. He kept asking me what was going on, and Caleb tried to cheer me up but I mostly holed myself up in the bedroom for the entire day. even Brandon came by and based on the look on his face when he entered the room, Caleb gave him the rundown. No one was even pissed off that I'd taken Bella out and hadn't breathed a word about what we'd done. I got off easy, but only because I was 'getting over' Leah. Total bullshit if you ask me. Everything had changed the moment she said she'd imprinted on me.

I didn't see Bella Sunday either, for a while I contemplated the likelihood of her blowing the whistle on us and dismissed the thought. Bella knew that secrecy was necessary, I was pretty sure she also understood the severity of snitching on people like us. I mean, I'd massacred people over the last two years and where I regretted how complicated it had made my life because of Leah, I still held no regrets. I was a murderer, it was simple, and I was mostly okay with that. What I wasn't okay with was Leah ignoring me. That was getting to me, and that stupid ache in my chest wasn't dulling at all.

When I got to school my ISS had been lifted, and Hailey was there waiting for me. "What happened Friday night?" I'd forgotten I'd completely bailed when I realized Bella was MIA.

"My friend took off, I went to make sure she got home alright," I lied easily. It struck me as odd how simple lying had become. It was kind of like telling the truth, actually, telling the truth was far more difficult to me. It was as easy as discussing a movie though.

"Kira!" I groaned internally, hearing Jake coming up towards us. Hailey didn't even look all that pleased to see him, though I couldn't blame her. He shot her a quick glance and she glared at him, before his attention returned to me. "Can we talk? Privately?"

"I don't think that's a good idea," Hailey said coldly, and I grinned a little. A weak Random trying to protect little red riding hood from the big bad wolf, it was cute.

"What do you want Jake?"

"I want to know where you took Bella on Saturday, everyone went nuts looking for you and you two were gone all day!" he didn't look happy, more suspicious then anything.

"And what did Bella tell you?" I asked unimpressed with the way he was talking to me. I could put him down like a sick dog if I chose to and the only reason I hadn't was the simple fact that I didn't feel like taking on a bunch of giant wolves. Somewhat trained wolves.

"Nothing, she wouldn't even tell Edward what was going on, even though she was acting all weird and he showed up at the border to talk to Caleb and Caleb got pissed off. A huge fight broke out."

"What?" I asked in disbelief, "how come nobody told me that?"

"Maybe because you spent all Sunday sulking, I came by to talk to you and you wouldn't see anyone," his voice was accusatory and once my surprise had worn off I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Would you stop talking to me like that? I'm getting sick and tired of you assholes talking down to me," I took Hailey's hand, brushing past him roughly and went into the school.

**-xxxxx-**

_Now you're mine, but what do I do with you girl?_

_I'll take your heart, to kick around in the dark_

_The danger is I'm dangerous, and I might just tear you apart_

**-xxxxx-**

The next two days were no different. Leah would avoid me like I carried the black plague, I avoided the pack like they were the black plague and everyone seemed to be completely irritated with one another, or it was just me. I'd even noticed Seth, Quil, Jake and Paul all get into a heated argument during lunch on Tuesday. Hailey, Sarah and a few of my other new friends all watched in amusement, and it got better when I heard them glance at me, throwing in Leah's name along with my own a couple of times. I was glad I didn't have to hang out all by my lonesome now. I hadn't seen Leah and when I figured she was ready to talk, she'd come to me, in the mean time, I stuck with the Randoms. I couldn't stand being around Caleb and Brandon was searching for our other latest stalkers.

I'd been checking in on Bella every morning and around dinner just to make sure she was still in one piece, and we hadn't discussed whether or not she'd finish her training or not. She also hadn't asked me about anything, though she knew the importance of answering the phone whenever I called. We'd also called off the training until she came to some sort of decision.

I was sitting with some of my current Random friends wondering why Hailey was taking so long. All of us were going to yet another party, but first we were supposed to be going to eat in Port Angelus. I wasn't really worried and I'd asked them to keep it hush hush considering everyone would flip if they heard I was still partying after the last few weeks.

"Anyone heard from Hailey?" I asked frowning, she'd been late before, but she was usually pretty punctual.

"You like her, don't you?" Andrea asked, a knowing smile on her face. Andrea and Sarah were two of the few remaining friends Hailey had after the big blow up with Reese in the bathrooms.

"Like who?" I asked confused, not following.

"Oh come on Kira, you two spend all your spare time together, your always touching and flirting, it's completely obvious you have a crush on her," Sarah said logically, "anyone can see it." What?

"I don't have a crush on Hailey," I protested instantly, I hadn't realized that's how it appeared to everyone else. "What makes you think I'm a lesbian in the first place?"

They shared looks, "it's kind of obvious. You have this whole dangerous bad girl thing going on. Your beautiful, you've been asked out by dozens of guys and turned all of them down, you've never showed the least bit of interest in a guy. Are you telling me your not gay?" Well when you put it like that, I thought cringing.

"I'm just not interest in anyone," I insisted, there were already enough problems in my life. They have to be reading into this wrong.

"Well your her type, have you even met Reese?" I shook my head, I'd never come across her and if I had she'd never left an impression. Why should I remember a strange if they weren't a threat.

"I'm not interested in Hailey," I said slowly, watching their faces to make sure they understood me loud and clear.

Andrea frowned at me deeply, "are you sure she knows that? Because I don't think she does. You better tell her before she gets hurt."

"I-," I didn't know what to say, I didn't have a crush on Hailey, I was in love with my fucking sister, and with everything going on, my life didn't leave much room for a crush.

"Hey, sorry I'm late," Hailey said, running up looking winded and breathless, she took one look at my flustered expression and raised her eyebrows, "what's going on?"

"Nothing," we all said in unison, a little too quickly.

"Okay then, weirdos, lets get out of here," she hooked her arm around mine and tugged me towards the car. The bell hadn't gone yet, it would in about ten or fifteen minutes, we were supposed to leave half an hour ago but she'd texted twenty minutes ago saying she was running late.

As soon as we got into the car my phone rang. I frowned, and then recognized the ring tone as Brandon's. I got out of the car, slamming the door with more force then necessary as I answered it. If I'd gotten busted about tonight I would flip. It was a Port Angelus bonfire, some college kids, a couple beers, nothing extreme, it was Wednesday after all. "Kira, I've got a lead on someone camping out the high school. They've been watching Bella, you better go let her know."

"Alright, I'm there," I hung up, turning back to my friends, "I'll meet you guys in Port Angelus, there's an emergency."

I didn't wait for a response before crossing the parking lot and getting into my own car. I tried to call Bella, but it would appear her phone was off, which didn't surprise me and yet still irritated me. I know she thought the Cullen's could protect her, but she didn't understand our need to keep this in the circle. The Cullen's and Park couldn't know and if Edward and his mind reading ability managed to sniff out one of Gabriel's guys we were all screwed.

I pulled up to the school, going from building to building, eventually finding Bella in history. Her eyes met mine the moment I appeared at the door, "can I help you?" the teacher asked, an older man, dark hair and pale skin, clearly upset with my interrupting.

"We need to talk," I said giving her a look. She nodded stiffly, shoving her books into her bag before standing and coming towards me.

"Miss Swan, I suggest you take your seat or you can spend the rest of the week in detention," the teacher snapped.

"Back off," I snapped, eyes darkening and promising violence as I gazed at him, paying no attention to the remaining students in the room. He froze a little, "let it go, I'm not someone you want to piss off."

Bella tugged on my arm, worried I'd go ballistic on her history teacher perhaps? I gave into her pull as we moved into the hall, "what's going on?"

"You have a shadow, Brandon's taking care of him right now, do you have everything on you?"

She shifted from foot to foot guiltily, "I was in school, Edward and Alice are here I didn't think it mattered."

"It does matter, they can't know about what we are, do you understand?" I asked her in exasperation.

"What's the big deal, there vampires, they've killed people," she pointed out.

"To eat, to sustain themselves, not because of some twisted addiction, it is not the same thing," I said running a hand through my hair. I took a deep breath, "keep your cell phone on at all times, and keep one gun and blade on you everywhere. Not in the car, not in your bag or your locker, on you. Until we find Gabriel your a target and Brandon will keep an eye on things to try and track anyone else that's watching you."

"Whose Gabriel?" she asked confused.

"The one that wants to chop up every person I care about and because I fucking hugged you, and mind you I don't do the hugging thing, that means your on that list."

She looked away, a resolute look on her face as she said, "I want to know more."

I raised my eyebrows, "and here I thought I'd scared you away. Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I need to know what I'm getting into. Ever since you showed me what you were, it's all I can think about, it triggered something and i want to know everything. Not because I want to be a blood thirsty animal, but to experience it, to understand what it's like to be more, what it's like to be you. You fascinate me."

I chuckled darkly, a mischievous smile on my face, "alright Bella. I'll tell you whatever you want to know, but not here and not now."

"Saturday?"

"Saturday."

**-xxxxx-**

Everyone told me they were at the boardwalk and headed to the beach now that they'd finished dinner. Apparently I was an hour late, and they'd already started drinking. I parked the car, Hailey running up to me and throwing her arms around me in a surprising hug. "I thought we were drinking beer?" I asked, noticing the obvious smell of vodka on her.

"Since when you do care?" she asked, smiling brightly, glassy eyes shining under the light. I kept forgetting Christmas would be just around the corner.

"Good point," I said grinning lop sidedly and she tugged me to the beach where everyone else sat.

They introduced me to the other six people here and I just smiled and greeted them, I doubted if I would remember any names. We spent a few hours just joking around and messing around, this time Andrea and Sarah watching Hailey and i to make some sort of point. I saw it too now that i was looking. But we were the only people observing the way Hailey and i interacted, another girl was watching us pretty closely as well. I didn't recognize her but it was kind of annoying. Regardless of this revelation i hadn't changed the way i acted, why should i? I was single and it's not like i was doing anything special to attract Hailey's affection.

"When did you move to La Push?" a girl asked, and I couldn't help but notice the tone in her voice. A few people had glanced between Hailey and I almost suspiciously, but I had thought nothing of it. I didn't recognize this girl, but she looked kind of like a stoner, pretty without effort, black dyed hair, a lip ring and eyebrow ring and a hard look on her face that clued me in. This must be Reese, how had I missed her name again?

"Few months ago," I said evenly, amused with her cold stare and Hailey's tense reaction to Reese's focus on me. "My father married Sue Clearwater."

"Where you from anyway's?" Andrea asked curiously. I'm sure if they had access to my records they could see that. But even my father wasn't keen on sharing that outright, didn't want to ruin our rep I guess. For now we were just two teenagers with a bad attitude, no one had any clue how dangerous we really were unless they nosed around.

"No where special," I said shrugging once, sipping on the bottle Hailey passed me, she gave me a small smile.

"I heard you and your brother are quite the pair," Reese said, "even got into a few fights, detentions left and right, back talk, I can't hep but wonder why Hailey would be interested in being _friends_ with such a person. Last I checked she was too good to keep such bad company."

Hailey tensed again, glaring at the girl, and I pursed my lips tightly. The rest of the circle became tense and quiet as well, waiting for some kind of blow up. They were watching me now, and I just sat back lazily, cool smirk in place now, "What can I say? I'm a hit with the ladies."

Reese gave me a lethal look, and before she could utter a word Hailey jumped up, and grabbed my hand, giving me a frantic look, "I need to speak to you."

I stood up, throwing a smile back at Reese, "nice to meet you Reese."

We were silent as we moved along the pier, passing the bottle back and forth as we got to the docks and out of sight. "Why do you feel the need to upset her?"

"Who?" I asked, momentarily clueless, "you mean Reese? I don't like when people get up in my face about anything and she's just asking for an ass kicking. I'd be more then happy to give her one, with your permission of course."

She stared at me with an unreadable look, "that's all?"

I recalled my discussion with Andrea and Sarah earlier, about Hailey harboring feelings for me. "What else would it be?" I asked carefully, realizing where this conversation may or may not be going.

"I know you and whoever you were with before, it's obvious you guys split, or at least that your having problems, I mean, you got all quiet and kind of sad on me this week," she said looking away again, more then a little nervous.

"Yes, we broke up," _but not for long_, my mind added, once I got my old self back Leah and I could be together and i could tell her everything. Maybe it was naive to think being a Random again would make things less complicated, but Leah wouldn't hate me or fear me if i was normal again.

Hailey looked at me now, "I know you miss them too. I know what that's like, missing someone," she reached for my free hand, as the right one was holding the neck of the bottle. Her eyes met mine, "I can help, distract you until you dont miss them, because I know you don't feel the way I do. But maybe, once you move on, I can take their place. I can be yours."

But that was the problem wasn't it? No one could ever take Leah's place. Never. I looked around us, the different sailboats surrounding us and nothing but the wooden dock keeping us afloat. I felt like I was drowning without Leah. The only thing that kept me from sinking into the water was the dock. Hailey could keep me from sinking into despair without Leah, couldn't she? She could help me breathe when i felt as though i was drowning, it's all she wanted and i couldn't deny that Hailey made me calmer somehow.

I mean, Leah wouldn't have me, but Hailey would. It wasn't the same as settling, Hailey expected me to move on and to be with her. I knew I couldn't do that, but I could also let Hailey be a distraction for the pain I felt over being separated from Leah, to keep my mind on what I was supposed to be doing. Hailey could be my reminder of what my focus should be on. It wasn't like using her exactly either, she knew that my heart belonged to someone else, she was asking to help me move on.

I turned back to her, gazing at her thoughtfully, realizing how close we were to one another now. "I'd like that." Hailey couldn't have looked more relieved, and she leaned forward slowly, waiting for me to close the short distance. I pressed my lips to hers softly, my mind wandering and trying to put Leah in her place. It didn't work out well because Hailey wasn't Leah, they were just too different.

I let the bottle clatter to the dock, bringing my arms up and deepening the kiss as I forced Leah from my mind and concentrated on the here and now. I could do this.

**-xxxxx-**

Hailey and I decided to keep it friendly in front of the rest of the world. Her parents and most of her friends were still adjusting to the big revelation and my family still had no idea I was gay, or bi-sexual, either or. We'd spend the same amount of time together, the only difference was the amount of touching we seemed to do. The light kissing or the hand holding. I'd also made it clear that my brothers not see us get physical, I did not need the grief.

I had to say the peace didn't last long before everything blew up in our faces. Hailey wanted to spend Friday night with me and I'd almost agreed until I remembered at almost two in the morning that Leah didn't have to patrol tonight. The house was mostly empty, as it was only nine o'clock and soon Caleb and Leah would be home. I had no idea where Sue and my father were, they tended to take off over the weekend, though I suspected they'd spend the short time in our home town, I didn't care.

"Can I come by tomorrow?" she asked as we reached the door for our goodbyes.

"Um, maybe, I'm seeing a friend, we'll see alright?" she pouted a little, and I grinned. I had to admit, now that I saw Hailey in a new light she was kind of cute. Nothing had really changed, I just noticed her more. A lot of the time my touches were forced, but she managed to keep me focused on other things that weren't Leah related. Though the guilt was starting to eat away at me like crazy.

I pressed my lips to Hailey's, running my hands through my hair as I deepened it, a smugness playing inside of me when she moaned. Hailey's lips left mine and I stumbled forward as she was ripped away from me roughly. She fell to the ground, but I wasn't looking at her. It was Leah. I hadn't even realized anyone was here.

"What the fuck Leah?" I snapped, glaring at her, "what's your problem now?"

"She's my problem! You've been running around with her non-stop and at first I didn't think anything of it until just now!"

"Have you lost your goddamn mind? We've been over this, and it's not like we could talk, you've been ignoring me for days," I brushed past her, bumping shoulders harshly and helped a stunned and confused Hailey into a stand.

"Get the fuck out!" Leah shouted at her.

"That's enough, you knew this was coming," I said before Hailey got the chance to speak. This wasn't Hailey's fault.

"Time for you to leave," Caleb said tensely to Hailey, taking her hand and pulling her towards the door.

She flickered a glance at me and I gave her an apologetic look and a nod. "Now!" Leah snapped. Chris trailled behind Hailey, who looked kind of scared, afraid of Leah's rage. Ironic, considering the only one with anger issues that she should worry about is mine.

Leah spoke again this time to me, calm and coldly she said, "don't bring her around here anymore or she'll be the next missing person."

"I have a right to have friends Leah."

"That didn't look like 'just friends'," she mocked and I glared even more.

"Hailey isn't going anywhere friend or not, lay off, better yet, move on. I figured that was what you wanted when you completely shut me out. You turned your back on me, remember? I said we were over, not that we had to stop talking, you made that choice, dont get pissed off because I chose to give Hailey a chance."

"Sorry I'm not a slut and can't turn off my feelings, that is if you even have any," her words were so harsh that even I flinched.

"Back off, you don't want to piss me off," I warned her, heart picking up in anticipation. My nerves were in a jumble, fighting with the urge to snap as much as the impulse to booket. The words, 'i can't hurt her' rang through my mind over and over again. It had been a long painful week, and i was anxious and restless. It wouldn't be hard to push me so far that I fell off the ledge and went ballistic.

"What are you going to do? Glare at me to death," she said smugly, "please, you couldn't hurt me."

"Says the one who takes shit from a bunch of teenage boys! How does it feel to have to bow down to your ex?" She didn't like that much, and she took me my surprise, moving lightning quick and punching me hard in the jaw.

Everything was all just pent up inside of me. Leah told me she imprinted on me and refused to even give me a moment of her time to speak to me, to let me make her understand, to fix things. She'd ignored me and made me feel like she hated me and now she turns around to act like a jealous girlfriend? I'd spent days in pain, chest aching for someone who had more or less turned their back on me and now she wants to talk?

I snapped as soon as the hit registered in my mind. Then all I could see was red as the urge to tear shit apart took over, my darkness taking control without a care in the world as to whose life i took. I wanted to hurt something, no, i wanted to fucking kill something. Who better then the person who'd been causing me pain, they were right in front of me too.

I wanted to kill Leah. I was going to kill Leah and _no one _could stop me.

**-xxxxx-**

_This is a bad town for such a pretty face_

_I'm gonna catch ya, I'm gonna get ya, get ya_

_I wanna taste the way that you bleed, _

_You're my kill of the night_


	15. I Think I'm Cursed

_It starts with pain, followed by hate,_

_Fueled by the endless questions, no one can answer,_

_A stain covers your heart, tears you apart just like a sleeping cancer_

**-xxxxx-**

I recovered from the hit, throwing myself at her and hitting her hard. We fell to the ground, knocking over a table in the process. She hit me again and I flipped us, getting her just as hard. She kicked me off of her and by the time I rolled and jumped back up I had lost all sense. I let that need to take over, and felt my body increase in power as my own personal demon let loose, waking up from the short slumber thrilled that I'd opened up her cage so soon.

I rushed her, and we collided, knocking over a chair and another side table. She maneuvered us and struck out, getting me in the bottom of my jaw. I twisted to the right and flipped her off of me, and standing faster then she did I launched myself at her, slamming her into the wall with a resounding crack. I gripped her throat tightly, pulling back and slamming her into the wall again, and her head bounced off of it and her eyes glazed over as if she were dazed.

When I began squeezing, I could feel her pulse beneath my own as she struggled to breathe, gripping my arm and pulling and pushing, I wasn't sure, I just tightened my grip. Her focus snapped back in place, and she brought her hands down over my own and my arm bent downwards and I lot my grip. She shoved me off of her and then collided with me sending us to the ground.

She had difficulties keeping up with me even though my anger made me sloppy. She was hitting me harder then I was hitting her, but then I went for the kill. Before I could make a move, my brother grabbed me, pulling me away from her so roughly I lost my breath. I glared at Caleb angry that he'd interrupted me and I moved forward to finish what I'd started.

Brandon collided with me out of nowhere, shoving me against the wall, pinning me there and I struggled to get out. He was speaking, yelling even, but everything was confused in this haze. "Kira, you need to stop!" he shouted in my face. Putting more pressure on me when I almost got loose. He pressed his body to mine so tightly that it made my ribs hurt but I couldn't function when I just ached to cause pain, to kill. "Kira, it's Leah your trying to hurt! You need to stop and think! You need to see past the Red! Snap out of it!"

"Get off me!"

He repeated the words continuously as my gaze held over Leah and Caleb. Caleb who was gripping Leah in his arms on the floor tightly as they watched me struggle in Brandon's grasp. Nothing was connecting, not the fact that my brothers were trying to save my imprints life from me, or the fact that Leah looked completely terrified, not the blood sliding down my face or the pain in my body, not much of anything really.

"Kira you need to calm down before you hurt her!" I tried to get out of his grip and he shook me hard, before slamming me into the wall as a way of getting me to focus. It wasn't helping much, especially when my head bounced off of the wall.

"Let me go!" I roared furiously.

I finally thought for a second but only to plan a move and I threw my head forward and then my elbow up into Brandon's face. His grip slackened and I threw my fist into his face, and then Caleb rushed us, both of them restraining me now.

"No! You'll kill her, control yourself!" It took a few minutes for the Red to clear up a little and I felt my adrenaline settle as it did. "Think Kira, that's Leah your trying to kill!"

That snapped whatever hold the Red had left over me and I took stock of everything around me. The look of disbelieving horror on Leah's face, the fear and frantic worry on both Brandon and Caleb's face and the room I'd destroyed in my attack. I relaxed a little, my head falling back against the wall, both of them still gripping my arms tightly but stepping back for me to breathe.

My eyes met Leah's now, both of us staring at one another for a terrible moment and I just shoved my brothers away from me and ran from the room. A single thought ran through my mind as I left the house, what have I done?

**-xxxxx-**

_Now I don't believe men are born to be killers,_

_I don't believe that this world can't be saved,_

_How did you get here and when did it start?_

_An innocent child with a thorn in her heart_

**-xxxxx-**

Six hours later I was kind of freaking out. I must've been covered in blood, and should've been a relief and it really wasn't. The one thing I'd been praying to end was the pit inside of my gut that craved more death, and yet it wouldn't fill. I could feel it boiling inside of me, wanting more, and more, I was so close to being finished and yet I couldn't catch that sweet release that death gave me. My blood was boiling and my ears were ringing, I wasn't even seeing clearly anymore, my vision kept blurring and I was getting queasy, it was like being stuck in limbo so long, aching to finish something, to get some grounding again and having it just out of reach.

With trembling bloodied hands I dialed Caleb. "Where are you?" in my little massacre I hadn't answered my phone, which had rung a dozen times or so until I turned it off.

"I'm in Seattle, Caleb, there's something wrong with me!" I nearly shouted into the phone.

"Calm down, where are you?"

I gave him the address with a shaky voice, sliding down the wall of the abandoned apartment building I was at. I didn't understand what was happening to me. This was not supposed to happen, this was never supposed to happen. I dropped my head into my hands, my head shaking back and forth as if that would help me shake off the urges to cause pain. Something had gone horribly wrong.

I'd tried to kill Leah and now that my subconscious wanted to finish off that urge it refused to be satisfied until I did so. But even now as I was stuck in the Red, the Crave seemingly endless inside of me, nothing changed, it helped, but it wasn't nearly enough. The one person my darkness wanted to take I could never give it, I wouldn't let Leah be swallowed up by my darkness just for a simple moment of need. What have I done?

I'd almost killed Leah, I felt my eyes water. They'd warned me about what would happen and now this? I'd done what I was supposed to hadn't I? Albeit, I had planned on fixing things between us once I'd reverted back to my previous being, but now? Now things were irreparable. She must be so scared of me, I shivered a little, that need creeping up on my spine a little more as I struggled to stay put. I still wanted to hurt Leah, this was all going downhill so fast and I couldn't seem to find my footing. I was falling, I felt like I was falling and nothing could catch me. What have I done?

"Kira?" a tentative voice asked, pulling me from the drowning despair I'd sunken into. I looked up to my brother, who looked incredibly concerned, I had no care for his concern. All I could think about was killing.

"Something's wrong Caleb, it's not going away, no matter what I do, no matter how many I kill it just wont stop, make it stop," my voice had started in a pleading whisper, becoming loud and desperate.

He eyed me a moment, before helping me into a stand and pulling me closer to him. "How many?"

"I don't know, the first handful of Random's I saw, and then, when it didn't go away I moved on and it was fucking endless," I said groaning and let out a huff of air. I'd been hear for hours, who knows what the body count was now.

"I'm sure we'll see it on the news, let's get you home," I froze mid-step.

"I cant go home, I want Leah and I can't let myself hurt her," I said raw pain itching inside of me at the internal hurricane I was battling, both excited and terrified about going home. A part of me wanted to go home, only to commit a horrible act and my darker self didn't even care that we'd never survive the consequences of the act. This side of me just wanted to live in the moment, never caring about tomorrow.

"She knows to keep her distance, she's confused, but she understands, she volunteered to patrol until we figure this out. It'll be okay, but right now we don't know who may or may not have seen you and we need to get out of the city," he sounded so logical that I only hesitated now. They'd protected Leah from me earlier, they would now wouldn't they? His cell phone rang and he ushered me out of the alley as he spoke to Brandon. "I've got her, yeah, meet you at the house. There's a situation."

Just a situation? This shit was so fucked up I was seconds from bursting and going on another murderous rampage. I had a target and now that I had denied my target this was going to drive me nuts, but I'd always given in, so this was different. I was so screwed.

I opened the mirror, frowning at myself in annoyance. Blood covered my face from where I'd pressed my hands to it, my hair was a total mess and I looked nauseous. Further proof of how badly things had become. "What do I do Caleb? I don't know what to do here."

He shot me a quick look, and I narrowed my eyes at him, "don't pity help me you ass."

"Don't get angry with me, your the one that blew up on her," I gave him a scathing look which he ignored before pulling out of the parking lot. "Try and sleep for a bit, I'll wake you up when we get home."

**-xxxxx-**

_What kind of world do we live in, where love is divided by hate?_

_Losing control of our feelings, we all must be dreaming this life away,_

_In a world so cold_

**-xxxxx-**

Caleb was shaking me awake and I reached out, gripping his hand and glared at him. "Don't touch me," it was reflex when I was like this, to hurt and cause pain when people took me by surprise, not even when they surprised me, it was instinct, it was a want. As fundamental as breathing. Caleb knew this, we were all this way, so why would he touch me? Maybe I'd been hard to rouse.

"Were home," he said stiffly, climbing out of the car and moving into the house. I couldn't help but wonder where Seth was at the moment. I didn't really care though. There it was again, that lack of caring. Sure I had less then no regard for most things, but at least before I'd gotten stuck in my serial killer psychosis I'd cared about my family. It was as if someone had flipped a switch on me and it was jammed.

As I showered I could hear Brandon explain to Caleb the 'situation' and they were theorizing how to fix his. It became quickly apparent that Caleb had indeed informed Brandon of his new wolfy nature and I wondered if Caleb had to change forms to convince him. I doubted it, we never had much of a reason to lie to one another and now was not the time to pull stupid crap like that. Once the blood stained water cleared I slipped out of the bathroom and laying down on my bed without getting dressed. Everything was pretty intense and the blankets felt great tangling with my naked body.

"So how do we fix me?" I asked eyebrows raised.

"We don't know," I blinked at Adrian's voice, looking down at the phone sitting on the bed side table. Apparently this warranted an emergency phone call to our other brothers. At least they were finally understanding the severity of the situation.

"You don't know?" I repeated incredulously. "Guys, I can't stay like this!"

"This hasn't happened before, to any of us," Jace said, rather awkwardly and I closed my eyes. Oh yes, I was completely and utterly screwed.

"Were coming back, I'll look into it, we haven't found Gabriel either, we know he's in Italy somewhere, we just haven't been able to pin point where, it's like he's hiding," David's annoyed voice broke in. I was sinking again, my mind losing focus as I imagined myself covered in anothers blood.

"Well who made you like this Adrian? You must have some theory of what to do," I said in frustration, I didn't give a rats furry ass about Gabriel right now. My priority was fixing myself so that Leah didn't become my next victim. Man this was messed up.

"It's not like I was given a rule book or manual or something," he said as frustrated as the rest of us. None of us wanted me stuck like this because we knew that it would not end well any way we played it. "The only thing I'd suggest is killing Leah, and that's clearly not an option, so for now, you'll have to keep your distance. Maybe the urge will pass with time. Just, try and keep your kills in the low hundred."

"I wont kill that many people," I said in disbelief, and scowled at the phone.

"Yes, because of all of us your the most controlled," David said sarcastically.

"I've got this, what I want is to not get stuck like this for the rest of my life. What do I do now? Do I stay here, go back to San Francisco, what?"

"First off you need to tell the girl about what we are," I grimaced instantly, I had been hoping to somehow avoid that. "I'm sorry Kira, the way it sounds you two are screwed either way you roll the dice and she's a part of the equation now. At least if you explain the rage she'll be sure to keep her distance and keep everything to herself until we sort this out. Caleb and Brandon are convinced she cares enough about you to try and understand and we can't worry about a whistle blower."

"This blows, I'm getting a drink," I crossed the room to Caleb's room, digging around till I found a nice strong bottle of whisky. I entered my bedroom, the call having ended, "whisky lullaby anyone?"

**-xxxxx-**

_Are you sane? Where is the shame?_

_A moment of time passes by, you cannot rewind who's to blame,_

_And where did it start?_

_Is there a cure for your sickness, have you no heart?_

**-xxxxx-**

I didn't wake up hung over, a common side effect of the Crave, which I still felt. I laid there in bed, rolling over to look at the clock, the letters saying it was four minutes after six. I'd forgotten sleep doesn't pan out well when I'm like this. I turned back to stare at the ceiling, the tiredness one feels after waking was absent. Another symptom of my state, I would be completely alert day in and day out. I'd woken up three times overnight when the doors opened, I could even tell who was and wasn't entering the room.

I suppose there was a bonus to this, I felt completely impervious to everything. I could probably even do as much drugs and drink as often as I wanted with no ill effects. If I kept my cravings in check it wouldn't be so bad. A person here, a person there. Here I'd been making a big deal out of nothing.

I stood up, and then realized why I was like this. Leah. Fuck. I still had to explain the rage to her and goddamit I'd totally lost control last night. I'd almost killed her, I got lucky. I needed to be very careful around her.

I strolled into the kitchen, Leah and Caleb all watching me, carefully. It was that odd feeling of being watched, I poured myself a cup of coffee, turning to them, eyebrows raised. "We need to talk," I said to Leah, leaving no room for questions, ignoring Caleb's lethal stare as I went out onto the back porch to have a cigarette.

It was snowing out, which meant we'd have sludge all over the place, Christmas was just around the corner. The wind was strong too, it would've bothered me, maybe, it was hard to tell what my former self would do or say after feeling like this. It was like another part of me had taken over, and yet I was still me. Hopefull Adrian could shed some light on the situation, I got the feeling he wasn't telling us everything and I was deadset on finding out what that was. We had to have some sort of beginning, you dont just stumble upon a creation of this magnitude by accident.

She came out a moment later as I took a long sip from my cup, sitting completely at ease. Though that wasn't the reality, even as she walked past me I had to control every fiber of my being to keep from reaching over and ripping her throat out. And there it was, the reason I had to get myself fixed. I would never allow myself to hurt Leah, despite my instincts pushing at me to make a regretful move.

She sat down on the chair opposite of me, stiff and wary. We sat in silence a moment as I lit my cigarette, finishing half of it before I uttered a word. She was only three feet away from me and just the fact that she was so close had me conflicted.

Finally I said, "I'm sorry about last night," turning my eyes on her, and she swallowed thickly, nodding once. "I know it's not an easy concept to grasp, the way my brother and I are. I shouldn't have let myself lose control so quickly," I shook my head, sighing heavily as I ran a hand through my hair. "I've always had the least control over my rage. When Caleb and Brandon noticed how attached to you I was getting, they worried that I would hurt you. So I agreed to be a good little sociopath for your sake, as you can see, it didn't pan out."

"You know the imprint is for life right? They explained some of it, what they worried would happen if I got tired of you or moved on. Imprinting doesn't work like that Kira and you know that," I narrowed my eyes at her and she tensed under it. Fear creeping along her nerves as she saw my now unconcealed darkness just gleaming in my eyes openly.

"You avoided me Leah, I don't know what I would've said or done to fix things once I understood why everything between us was so different, so strong, but you didn't exactly give me the time of day did you?"

She looked away, guilt and shame filling her and I felt it as though it were myself, but it wasn't, it was distinctly Leah. Maybe it was the imprint or maybe it was my Crave making everything intense, either way everything was amplified between us. I briefly wondered if she felt the same way, but dismissed the urge to ask, we had other things to discuss.

"Why would you screw around with that girl, Hailey, if you knew I'd imprinted on you?" she practically spat the name with so much hate all I could was smirk. It was my more twisted side, because of our connection, it made me enjoy her pain and while that side liked it, another part of me wanted to reach over her and reassure her of my love. Instead I stayed exactly where I was.

"Hailey was merely a distraction to keep myself from falling apart, falling apart means snapping, snapping means seeing red and seeing red means murder. She understood her part, well, the part about keeping my mind off of you, nothing else," my voice cool and crisp and I managed to keep my expression bored rather then amused when I saw the flash of hurt. I never realized how tricky holding things back would be like this. Everything about being so twisted was like breathing, it was horrible to other people and now that I cared about Leah it was complete struggle keeping just some of it under control. I needed to fix this somehow, and I would start with Adrian.

"Caleb says your stick in this mind set, the killer one," she said, frowning in concern, it was concern for me though, not herself, surprisingly.

"Yes, I am stuck wanting to tear shit apart, rip out throats and hearts, so on and so on," I said, mind fantasizing the screams of victims and how much I wanted them to be real rather then memorized sounds. Like music to the ears.

"What are we going to do?" she asked, and I could feel her urge to reach over and touch me, I smiled faintly, both of us sharing this feeling.

"We are going to do nothing. It's best you avoid me until I get this sorted out. Has my brother explained why I am stuck like this?" She shook her head, "because when I saw Red, I had a kill already in mind."

"Me," she said, hollowly and defeated.

"Yes, I am stuck like this because I didn't kill the person I was supposed to, and now it's practically embedded in my DNA to finish the job," I gave her a cold smirk, "don't worry beautiful, I don't plan on losing you any time soon, and I'll never let it come that close again. Never again."

"I know," not a trace of doubt in her voice as she held my gaze steadily. "I know you wont, but I can't lose touch with you like before, it physically hurt to deny you."

"Then don't deny me, but were doing this my way and right now, I can't stand to be close to you without wanting to rip into you at the same time. I don't trust myself around you right now Leah, I'm sorry, just give me time to get myself under control," I stood up, putting out my cigarette. I gave her a small smile, "it'll all work out in the end, I promise." I gave her a light kiss on the temple, clenching my jaw as I did so, and she shivered under the cool touch.

With more force then I wanted to, I lifted her chin so that she faced me and I gave her a hard passionate kiss with promises and fears, love and rage and everything in between. It was shorter then I would've liked, but when both our need to deepen the kiss as well as my own need to hurt her overwhelmed me I pulled away abruptly and went into the house without a second glance.

**-xxxxx-**

_What kind of world do we live in, where love is divided by hate?_

_Selling our souls for no reason,_

_We all must be dreaming this life away,_

_In a world so cold_

**-xxxxx-**

I hadn't exactly laid everything out on the floor for her to observe, I could tell this was all hard for Leah to accept, and she'd probably thought I'd be the one struggling to accept something, like her having the ability to morph into a wolf. I didn't feel bad not telling her everything, she wasn't ready for me to tell her how deep our insanity went and I would tell her everything, soon, but not now.

I also hadn't felt the need to remind her that secrecy was necessary, I felt that she knew this. It was odd to know these kinds of things, I knew how long she'd spent outside before finally leaving the porch and yard all together. I'd even sensed it when she'd completely the change in forms. I couldn't have been more pleased when I remembered our discussion about how well she'd gotten at filtering her thoughts when she was a wolf. She really was amazing. I was surprised she wasn't completely terrified of me, everyone else would be now that my other self had collided with my newer emotional self.

I showered again, noting the small cuts along my hands, from one of my knives during my insanity last night perhaps? I didn't really care, I just toweled off and dressed. Then I noticed that Bella had already called, and Brandon had texted me a news reel.

Seven bodies had been discovered late last night and early this morning, completely butchered, three of them so badly destroyed that they couldn't identify them until dental records came back. I'd massacred them, and the police no idea who it was. A few reporters are saying it was a cult related incident and one channel believes someone had taken hallucinogens and had a bad trip, but they were clueless other that a single person had done it. They showed crying families, lovers, friends, the whole nine.

I pondered whether or not I would've felt guilt over taking so many lives if I hadn't been stuck like this. Instead I felt nothing, well not nothing exactly, a small irritation mixed in with smugness, apparently even so lost to my senses I'd still managed to be careful somehow. Dismissing that train of thought I texted Bella that I was on my way. I showed her the upfront reality and now it was time to tell her the story.

**-xxxxx-**

_There's a sickness inside you that wants to escape,_

_It's a feeling you get when you can't find your way,_

_So how many times must you fall to your knees,_

_Never, never, never, never, never do this again._


	16. Life's Harsh Realities

The snow whipped around me, hitting me as if it were hail and I let out a breath, closing my eyes and lifting my chin to the sky was it pelted me. Pain was a curious thing, a welcoming sensation when I was like this. The words just slipped off of my tongue, it was like the abstract of everything that i felt somehow, not quite but still managing to make me feel more then i had the last little while.

_In the land of Gods and Monsters, I was an Angel_

_Living in the garden of evil, screwed up, scared, doing anything that I needed_

_Shining like a fiery beacon_

That verse reminded me of Leah, i was a monster and she couldn't be more of an angel. She was _My_ Angel. So perfect in such a terrible world, becoming corrupt and as damaged as the rest of us. I wanted to make her happy, and I would, once i fixed myself.

_You got that medicine I need_

_Fame, Liquor, Love give it to me slowly_

_Put your hands on my waist, do it softly_

_Me and God, we don't get along so now I sing_

I couldn't help but feel everything that was happening between Leah and I now was some kind of punishment from abandoning my faith. I believed in God, but I'd lost faith years ago. Perhaps even Leah was somehow my way of becoming a Random agan, but i didn't want to be that way anymore. I was starting to feel as though my feelings were being stripped from me.

_No one's gonna take my soul away, I'm living like Jim Morrison_

_Headed towards a fucked up holiday, motel sprees sprees and I'm singing_

_'Fuck yeah give it to me this is heaven, what I truly want'_

_It's innocence lost, innocence lost_

Maybe i'd never had any kind of innocence and I'd just been under the impression i did. Adrian always said this darkness was something we were born with, people couldn't choose to be this way. But I doubted if it was genetic either. It was just something inside of me, of all of us, something in our blood.

_In the land of Gods and Monsters, I was an Angel_

_Looking to get fucked hard, like a groupie incognito posing as a real singer_

_Life imitates art_

_You got that medicine I need_

_Dope, shoot it up, straight to the heart please_

_I don't really wanna know what's good for me_

_God's dead, I said, 'baby that's alright with me'_

God had turned his back on me, I'd never once thought what i was doing was wrong, so shouldn't he have guided me away from it or something? Being this dark felt natural, like it was right, right for me anyways.

_No one's gonna take my soul away, I'm living like Jim Morrison_

_Headed towards a fucked up holiday, motel sprees sprees and I'm singing_

_'Fuck yeah give it to me this is heaven, what I truly want'_

_It's innocence lost, innocence lost_

_When you talk it's like a movie and you're making me crazy_

_Cause life imitates art, if I get a little prettier can I be your baby?_

_You tell me, "life isn't that hard"_

_No one's gonna take my soul away-_

"Kira?" I looked up to Bella and Edward, both of them watching me with very different expressions. Bella looked awed and Edward just looked like I was a child that needed to be reprimanded. He didn't like me much.

I turned over my feelings for the couple, comparing the differences. Bella wasn't wrong when she said I'd triggered something in her, I didn't feel the need to hurt her, if anything I felt the need to kill some people with her as an afternoon activity. I mentally reminded myself that I had to take baby steps with her. She didn't want to be a monster, then this would take time. If she immersed herself in darkness she'd come out a whole new creature, and she didn't want that. I'd help her any way I could, though I would love to have another girl as dark as me.

Edward on the other hand made me feel as though he was the perfect challenge. Well maybe not a challenge, but it would be an instantaneous kill if I chose to take his life. Random's were easy to take out, the flick of a wrist even, vampires were different.

"Shall we?" I asked, eyebrows raised, giving Edward a look of unmasked violence. He looked startled, and even a little nervous now, I enjoyed that.

"What are you two doing today?" he asked suspiciously.

"Our usual training," I said, sliding of the hood of the car.

"I wanted to give you this," Bella said, giving me a hesitant smile, before handing me a small square envelope. On the front in cursive writing, The Elliot Family. I knew without needing to even open the envelope what was inside.

"A wedding invitation?" I asked eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, I didn't really have your address so I figured I'd give it to you in person, we mailed them all today," she looked incredibly nervous now, as if she were scared about how I'd react. She was complicating things for herself. I'd spent months struggling with my new primal self and if she chose to turn into what I am, she's also planning to throw a wedding into the mix? The girl was already in over her head here.

"I want to know where you took Bella, I know you told her to keep it to herself," Edward said, a suspicious and irritated tone in his voice.

I gave him a cold smirk, Bella frowning at the change in demeanor, "I showed Bella something she wanted to see, plain and simple. If you don't like it come talk to me on a day that doesn't end in 'y'."

He glared, giving me a venomous look, "Kira, your putting the both of you in danger, Alice says the Volturi want you and Bella now, don't you understand what that means for you? Either get turned into a vampire or die, you can't risk your lives so carelessly. Your the one that said you don't want to be a vampire," I rolled my eyes, giving him a bored look.

"I couldn't care less about the vampire kings, and mind you, they're your kings, not mine. None of you have any idea what I'm capable of, and if you don't back off I'll give you a first hand demonstration."

"Kira!" Bella said instantly, giving me a look that clearly said ease up, I waved in a dismissive gesture. I'd already fallen off the crazy wagon, no point acting like a good person, that would just give me a headache.

"Why aren't you wearing a coat?" Edward asked, all concern in his voice now. I cast a quick glance at him, it was fake. Edward had to stop kidding himself, we'd never like each other and I didn't see the point in pretending like it. Who knows how badly he'll take Bella's transformation and it wouldn't be hard to figure out who he would blame. When she changes it'll be of her own accord and wouldn't have much of anything to do with me, aside from my being the guide. Bella was the one holding to the key that unlocked the door of her insanity, and she knew what that meant.

"Don't concern yourself with me, let's get this show on the road," glancing at Bella and nodding at the car. I got back into it, starting it up as Bella kissed Edward good bye, he threw us one last reluctant look before disappearing into the woods.

"You shouldn't antagonize him like that, do you know how much I have to argue just to see you for an hour now?" I chuckled at that.

"Bella, when your like us, you kind of stop playing by other peoples rules and do what you want, and when you want. Your going to have a lot of problems if your boy doesn't learn to back off."

"I haven't decided anything yet."

I gave her a sideways glance, very bluntly, "you don't have a choice anymore."

She turned to me sharply, eyes narrowed, "what are you talking about?"

"The changes have already started, the fact that I lack the Crave when I'm around you says so. All that's left is to accept it," she frowned at me, either because of this little revelation or because of my nonchalant tone, I wasn't sure.

"Alice can't see my future much anymore, says she can't see anything after the next two weeks, that it's just dark. It's not even blurry or jumbled up the way it is with the werewolves, is that why?"

"Were unpredictable, so it makes sense. It's hard to tell when we'll flip, what will happen when we see Red. When were like this, we live from one minute to the next, rather then day to day," I put the car into reverse, pullng out of the driveway and out onto the street. We wanted privacy for this discussion and considering there was virtually none in Forks or La Push, we opted to drive to Port Angelus and back, that should give us enough time to talk about everything.

"That explains why you seem different, you snapped?" I nodded once, a small almost sad and yet smug smile on my face. It was gettng hard to differentiate between what side of me felt what, I'd never felt either side merge so much like this and it's only been a few hours. "What happened?"

"Leah and I got into this argument over a girl I was seeing. Before you say anything, yes, I'm aware, imprint, blah, blah, blah. Anyways Leah got angry, I got angry, she hit me, all of the stress and pain from the week kind of just boiled over and I saw Red. I had intended to kill her and I was a heart beat away from taking her life when Brandon and Caleb showed up. I left, went to Seattle, but the damage was done and now I'm fucking stuck like this."

"Because you didn't kill Leah like you wanted to?" she said after a moment, connecting the dots. It was surprising how well she seemed to understand how we thought when she'd only seen so little.

"You catch on quickly. Until Adrian, the first one of the six of us to be like this, figures out how to make it balance out or something I am completely screwed."

"What did Leah do?"

"Aside from stare at me like I was the devil? I didn't see what happened, I took off before I could lose control again. When I got back we talked in the morning, it was difficult, having her close, wanting to reach over and comfort her and at the same time wanting to snap her neck."

Bella gave me a contemplative look, "sounds like the way Edward is around me, I'm his singer, so my blood calls to him on a level that everyone else's doesn't."

"What's your point?"

"He said he got used to it over time, he said almost losing me made it easier for him to keep control of himself knowing how it would feel if I died."

"That is _not_ the same thing, I've _already _almost killed Leah and the only thing I feel like is putting a hundred miles between us to keep her safe."

"And that is exactly like Edward, man you two are so much more alike then I thought," I glared at her, not taking that as a compliment.

"Don't compare me to him, you said it yourself, the kid denies his nature and I indulge mine. A lot."

"How would that work anyways? Just accepting I'm a sociopath like you?" all skepticism.

"It's a little more difficult then that, for you it would be, I was easier to trigger."

"How so?"

"I was just a kid when they triggered my inner crazy, being a girl helps, but you've already matured and your older then I was so it'll be a little challenging. The process will creep up on you. But if you ever get the urge to kill someone, by all means go for it, because not doing it will be like turning down heroine after being hooked on it for twenty years, having it sit in front of you constantly. Just, try to avoid public murders."

"Is it really that easy to just kill someone? Was that easy for you?"

I thought about it momentarily, and then nodded. "Yeah, almost unbelievably easy, never thought twice and I never felt guilt or remorse or regret. I was an angry kid. There's no way around it, killing is just a part of who I am. That's why you need to be sure your ready for this, because once you say yes, your first kill will be in days, weeks if you put off and it's inevitable. Once you cross this line there's no going back."

She gave me a wry smile, "I thought I'd already crossed the line when I watched you murder four people."

"Oh that's nothing, should've seen me last night."

She rounded on me, "that was you? Those murders are all over the news."

"And?"

She rolled her eyes in response, and my cell phone cut her off. I glanced at it, "Adrian?"

"Were in Forks, at a local restaurant, bring the girl with you."

"Which one? Bella or Leah?"

"Bring Bella, Caleb says Leah had patrol or something like that. I don't want too many complications," I pulled back onto the highway, hanging up the phone.

"Were going back?"

"Yeah, the others want to meet you, I didn't expect them to arrive so quickly," I chuckled a little, they must've rushed back after we realized again, how stuck I was. As long as I kept my distance from Leah and kept my rage in check, I could handle this. Adrian was someone I needed to see right away anyways. There were plenty of things I was sure he wasn't telling us and he was going to tell me regardless of whatever reservations he had.

"There like you?"

"Yes Bella, they are like us."

"Tell me more, define what it is to be this dark entity," I guess she was still kind of struggling to grasp what we were. It took a few minutes to word my answer and even then I dont think I got it right.

"Well there's only one real way to be like us, and it doesn't involve longing for things you don't have or spending time with people you would love to hurt. It's releasing every part of you that society and life have shaped and opening a door to an animalist primal drive that's out of reach for other people. It means wanting what you've got, taking what you can take and embracing what you have become. It's letting go of your humanity and becoming something darker, something powerful. It's like opening your eyes after being drenched in darkness."

My mind added, kind of like how Leah made makes me feel, finally seeing light in nothing but cold darkness. The dark didn't seem as entrancing if Leah wasn't in it and she wasn't.

**-xxxxx-**

_Would you mind if I hurt you? Understand that I need to,_

_Wish that I had other choices, than to harm the one I love_

**-xxxxx-**

I'd told Bella the details and the story between how I'd met my brothers, and she listened silently. She wore a blank expression the majority of the ride back into Forks and I finished up with her latest visit to us, though I'd told her much more about everything that transpired that night then I had told Leah. I wished I could tell Leah everything, but imprint or not, would she understand? I doubted it and I hate that I doubted her love for me.

When I pulled up to the restaurant, my spirits lifted when I saw the other two cars here, and I briefly wondered where Jace's car was.

"I can't believe your mom would do something so horrible," she said, a clear tone of disgust making it all the more amusing.

I grinned at her, "she was a ray of sunshine. I'm over it, mostly, can't guarantee matricide isn't in the cards for us, so I hope she took Caleb's warning seriously."

"You'd kill your own mother?" she asked, a slightly disapproving frown on her face, though it looked like she didn't blame me much.

"Why not? She killed me," she gave me another blank look, "if it weren't for her, I'd be a normal sixteen year old. She betrayed me and I was never the same after that night." What kid would be?

Someone tapped on my window and I turned to see Jace's wide grin. I threw open the door, the second I had a foot out, I was in Jace's warm embrace. I breathed in his scent, all of us had strange variations of natural earthy like scents. Jace always reminded me of the ocean on a hot day, the salt and the waves appearing in my mind at the lasting hug. "I've missed you," he said quietly, giving me a light kiss on the lips.

"You too brother," his gaze went over my shoulder to Bella, who had gotten out of the car, looking completely at ease. She'd come a long way from the nervous shy girl I'd met last month and sent a shot of pride through me. I'd helped Bella go from a hesitant, lacking in all thing confidence, uncertain eighteen year old to a self assured strong woman, even if all I'd done is teach her to fight. But I also knew that was it, knowing you could back up the bark with twice as much bite would give anyone a back bone.

"Jace this is Bella," they sized each other up and I smirked a little when he finally gave her a welcoming smile, seeing in her what I did.

"You weren't kidding about her, everyone's inside already, can't wait to meet you Bella. gave to say Kira was downplaying how beautiful you are," he said giving her a wink and then disappearing through the restaurant doors.

Bella raised her eyebrows, blushing just slightly under the compliment, "you call him your brother and then kiss him like your lovers?"

I smirked even more, a devious edge to it, "is now a bad time to mention I've slept with all four of them?" She gave me a disbelieving look and I shrugged. "There good looking and when we Crave, we get horny, and you can't exactly fuck Random's when your true nature is present. I don't know about you but I draw the line at necrophilia and the thought of killing a lover right after sex is just awkward."

"Kira, your a minor and Jace looks like he's twenty, and you said Adrian was twenty two."

"Seriously? You were a minor when you met Edward and he's a century older then you, don't preach to me about appropriately aged relationships," I paused, and then added, "Leah's seven years older then me."

"And that makes it okay? Does your brother know?"

"What are you, my mother? Yes he knows, one; their family and two- you know what? Bite me," I turned and walked into the restaurant.

After the not so emotional and yet highly thrilling reunion and introductions we all sat down in a booth. David on my left and Bella on my right. Everyone's acceptance was based on whether or not Bella was like us and as she clearly was even gave their approval instantly. Bella looked kind of relieved, though I wasn't sure why she worried, we'd gone over this a million times.

"We'll take care of the police first thing in the morning, once we have control of the town it'll be much easier to find Gabriel's men," Adrian started off, everyone in agreement, except for Bella.

"What does that mean, take care of the police?"

I rolled my eyes, "her father's chief of police."

"Then make nice with him, does he know you two are close?" David asked as if what I needed to do was obvious.

"She isn't going anywhere near cops," Brandon said glaring at David.

"Certainly not alone either, it's bad enough having Sam close to her knowing he can hulk out," Caleb said frowning at his French fries with a slight scowl.

"Why do you guys hate cops so much?" Bella asked unimpressed with our attitude.

No one seemed inclined to answer that so finally I did, "they put me in the ICU for a week."

"What? Why?"

"Isn't it obvious? She's the only girl like us, she was just a kid when they arrested her, she was alone and wasn't even close to finished her training so she was more or less defenseless against the four of them," Adrian clear tone of contempt and disgust just pouring out all over the table.

I raised my eyebrows, sometimes I couldn't help but think they'd taken the incident worse then I had. "They'd hassled me before, but when they found out I was part of the inner circle and not just a dealer or in a relationship with one of them, which is what we'd given the impression of on purpose, it ended badly for everyone involved."

"That explains why everyone thinks Caleb and Brandon are over protective, are you always targeted?" she asked already sounding over protective, which was odd considering she was the weakest of all of us. Maybe it was the age thing, everyone is older then me, I got the feelng I would always be the baby sister, even to Bella, regardless of my being her teacher.

"Yeah, if your going to go after one of us you pick the obvious weak link," Jace said all of them looking angry and I just glared at him.

"I am not the weak link," I protested instantly.

"No, but your the baby," David corrected grinning from ear to ear, kissing me on the cheek.

"Would you stop saying that?" I snapped in irritation.

"Aw, is the itty bitty princess having a temper tantrum," he said giving me the classic expression adults gave infants, the ridiculous goo-goo gah-gah one. I reached out, grabbing his duck lips and he froze wide eyed. "Don't push me David, I will kick your ass here and now." I flicked him in the nose as if he were a dog and released his lips.

"Someone's in a bad mood," Caleb said chuckling at me.

"Maybe because I nearly killed someone I actually care about last night," everyone frowned at me and I just rolled my eyes.

"Which brings me to another question. How in god's name did you manage to get imprinted on?" he asked in an accusatory tone, "I told you to be careful."

"Fuck you Adrian, it's not like I planned it. I didn't even think we could be imprinted on, let alone love someone outside of the six of us," I glanced at Bella, "make that seven."

"God dammit Kira, you were supposed to stay out of trouble, not go hunt down a bunch of mythical creatures," he said glaring at me. As if finding Leah in the house we now lived in was going to be some great challenge. "We should just kill Leah, problem solved and we can go home. Take Bella with us even."

I felt my anger flare up, eyes darkening at the mention of someone even just _thinking_ about touching Leah. "Adrian if you try and hurt her, I kid you not, I will rip you apart."

He narrowed his eyes, as if challenging me, "she's a Random weakness we don't fucking need right now, Bella is one thing, she'll be as strong as the rest of us and Leah _never_ will be. She'll never be able to accept you for who you are. As for attacking me, I'm stronger then you and I have far more experience then you. You'd never win a fight against me."

I gave him a cold smirk now, "And between the two of us I have more to fight for, that gives me an edge you've never had and I will win. I promise, If you go after her I _will _end you and that goes for everyone else whose thinking about doing something stupid."

He held my gaze, the air around us thick and tense enough to touch as we stared each other down in silence, neither of us backing down. I would never let anyone hurt Leah, especially after last night. Leah was mine and by god I would fight for her until my last breath. Both mentalities would keep her alive because she was mine, regardless of what way, whether it was because a part of me wanted to take her life myself or the part that loved her, it didn't matter. Leah was _mine_.

I blinked, the sudden thought of Leah belonging to me sending a shiver of panic through me. Jesus, now I was getting territorial, as if I wasn't bad enough before. My pause and change in thought direction broke the stare down and I frowned, eyebrows furrowing as I contemplated this. If I didn't keep those feelings from blending with my darker feelings than I'd have a serious problem. The worst part? It was already starting.

Everyone around the table sat kind of uneasily now, not awkward just weary, which didn't surprise me. Adrian threatening Leah's life, with logical reasoning or not, pissed me off immensely, if he'd opened his mouth one more time I would've launched myself across the table at him.

"Enough," Bella said sudden and very loudly, getting a little irritated and we all looked at her in surprise. I did a double take, realizing I'd mistaken annoyance for fear. It could've been from any number of things so I didn't think about where it stemmed from. "It's an imprint Adrian. Kira was meant for Leah the moment she was born, nothing could've changed that, it isn't a choice they make and it's not her fault that life screwed her over," I gave her a sideways glance, but she wasn't even looking at me. Great, even Bella of all people thinks life is screwing me over. "Like it or not, hurting Leah will destroy Kira and based on what I've seen of her and Caleb, chances are Leah's death has the potential to kill her too. So back the fuck off."

_Whoa_. I'd been dead on about het getting over protective of me.

Adrian sat back, pondering that with a slightly impressed look on his face. The darkness receded in his eyes, there but hidden away unless you were looking for it. Mine on the other hand was still very much present.

Everyone shared amused looks and I reached over, grabbing Brandon's beer and drank the remaining contents, he frowned at me. "Fine, but I want to meet Leah, what have you told her so far?"

"She knows we have an uncontrollable rage that doesn't let us think rationally and that until we overcome that were stuck in a red haze. She also knows that I'm basically screwed now that she was supposed to be my kill."

"Good, that's all she needs to know until we agree she knows what she's getting into," I chuckled, like she had a choice anymore. She's made it abundantly clear that this is a life long bond and I was fine with that, it's her being able to come to terms with what I am that worries me.

As if hearing my thoughts Jace gave me a sad smile, "If she fears you she can't love you Kira." I said nothing for a long moment, though it was obvious everyone was waiting for me to say something. It says something that they all agreed on this, normally we all couldn't agree on a single thing, not even what to order for take out.

I tensed a little, looking away, "I didn't mean to hurt her."

"Which is why we don't let ourselves get attached to Random's, were lethal to them. If Leah had been anyone else she would be dead right now," David said giving me a small smile, everyone still in agreement.

"Like I don't know that, can we just talk about something else?" I asked in a bored tone.

We ended up spending the next hour talking about Gabriel and our plans for the next couple days. Adrian wanted total control of the town, which meant the mayor, the chief of police, radio stations and a long list of other people. Bella wasn't thrilled about it, but we explained the necessity of it and she let it go.

Adrian and I didn't get much of a chance to speak until everyone else aside from myself, Bella and him were left at the table. We'd gone over detail after detail of the process Bella would be going through over the next several weeks and where she looked a little scared, she still seemed determined to face this head on.

The biggest issue would be her first kill, she may have been already on the path to becoming like us but once she had crossed that line she will have opened a door that would lock behind her. Right now it was more like she glimpsed through a locked frosted window or something.

I asked Bella to wait outside in the car for me, leaving Adrian and I alone. "You know something," no doubt in my voice, just stating a simple fact.

He stared at me with an unreadable expression, "I don't think there's a way to fix this Kira, not without killing Leah and you've made it very clear that isn't an option."

"I'm starting to see that, who made you like this?" I asked a little impatiently.

He hesitated, and when I gave him a look that clearly said I wasn't fucking around he said, "a man named Lucian Aurelius Zaituc. The diary was two years long, his last entry was after his first kill. All it stated was that he had no regrets and he felt untouchable. Before you ask, I've already looked for accounts or a death certificate, he'd vanished. He's long dead, but I've got his diary in the car, I figured you'd want it."

I stood up, going straight for the door and I could just feel Adrian roll his eyes and follow me outside. Adam gave me the book, which was wrapped up in cloth and I didn't feel the need to open it right away. "I don't think you'll find anything," he said honestly, "but if it does, don't do anything rash?"

I raised my eyes to his, seeing the concern in them, it was bitterly amusing. "If I find anything I'll tell you." It wasn't what I was hoping for, but it was something.

**-xxxxx-**

_Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?_

_'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy, you carry hate that I don't feel,_

_It's over now, what have you done?_

**-xxxxx-**

I dropped Bella off at home, telling her that I'd talk to her in the morning and that we'd pick up with the training later. Sunday wasn't all that exciting, I didn't bother going anywhere, despite everyone asking me to go out with them, everyone from Seth to Bella and each of my brothers. And I still owed Hailey an explanation. I also had that little urge to kill someone creep up on me and figured David and I could go out tomorrow. He was always the most fun.

Instead of reuniting with my brothers, something I'd wanted to do for months now, I spent the entire day drinking and reading the journal front to back, twice and counting. By the time I had gotten twelve pages in having started to read the third time around I felt Leah close by.

I paused, the page falling from my fingers and I frowned a little, containing myself. I wasn't entirely sure how I'd found myself so connected to her after I was trapped in this violent and malevolent mindset. Normally when we hold back, it's to find the perfect target, I'd never noticed myself become so acutely aware of them in the few short moments before I ended their life.

Is that what this was? My subconscious alerting me that my latest target was near? It was either that or the imprinting bond, but wouldn't this feeling of hyper awareness of her have been present from the moment we'd met?

It could also be everything thrown in together, something I'd always hoped to avoid. The connection to Leah was strong, everything about her thrilled me from her strong honey like voice to her physical beauty. Still, I couldnt dismss the fact that everything was ten times more intense when I was Craving, it was like my body had gone into overdrive, a constant adrenaline thrumming through my veins just waiting to be released.

Sure I'd always been close to her and even then I could sense her own emotions, but that was because I tended to read into people that I found intriguing, and after that everything about her became obvious to me. Maybe not obvious exactly, but kind of like looking through a rushing creek, you can see what's beneath the surface if your really looking.

Like when she's hurt, you can't see it, but you can feel it, and her eyes seem to get glassy and hard at the same time, and her whole body will loosen up a bit. Or when she's angry, her chin will lift slightly and you can barely notice the way her eyes will narrow, it was a challenging look, and she'll just radiate rage. It was kind of hot. There were also the little things I'd picked up on when she was happy, which always had this way of overwhelming and pleasing me knowing that she was okay. She'd seemed so angry and stand offish, don't get me wrong, she still is, but she didn't wall me off like she did everyone else.

When she was in a good mood she'll have this slight bounce in her step and glow about her that warmed me, and my god when she smiled, it was like someone had woken up the sun after a century of darkness. Leah had somehow managed to become my own living breathing personal sun and I'd never even realized it. And I'd almost killed her, I'd never let things go that far. I needed Leah the way I needed to breathe, that was a very dangerous thing, as if I didn't already know that.

She'd spent most of the day away from the house, keeping her distance as I'd asked, both of us missing one another greatly. I looked at the clock, debating whether or now I should be the one spending time away from the house and not her. But that wasn't much of an option, she could patrol and work and hang out at Emily's place. I couldn't do any of that, not that I wanted to. My brothers were insisting I stay away from Random's as much as possible, and yet contradictorily, they insisted I remain in school.

Honestly I think it was just a way for Adrian to punish me and teach me a lesson and so that I practiced self control, and all I could think was seriously? Sticking a sociopath in an array of different classrooms filled with easy kills eight hours a day. Brilliant! Why hadn't I thought of that for practice? Oh, because even I know that's a horribly stupid idea, that's just asking to get a bullet to the skull and I wasn't suicidal, at least not in a normal sense.

Someone tapped on the door and knowing instantly it was Leah I looked up to her, reigning in my own hungry expression and forced myself to relax. I wanted her in so many ways that it became a big jumbled want for the moment. "Mind if I come in?"

Before I could respond Brandon passed behind her on his way to Caleb's room, "keep the door open."

"Yes dad," she said sarcastically, strolling into the room cautiously, I found myself calculating and watching the same way a predator would when stalking an animal.

I grinned, "I'm not a frightened animal Leah, relax."

"You said to be careful around you," she pointed out.

"Careful doesn't necessarily mean act like a blind man in a mine field," she gave me unamused look.

Sitting down on the bed cross legged. As she did her own scent washed over me, my senses weren't nearly as strong as theirs, I'm sure, but they were still enhanced. Leah always reminded me of the woods, no surprise there, but also kind of like burning sweet grace and raspberries. It send a thrill through me and again, I forced myself to stay put and keep from reacting to the intense urge my mind and body felt, aching to cause pain, any other urges having been stomped out by this one.

She was just inches away. She was _too _close. She was _so fucking close_. It could all happen so quickly, so perfectly and no one would make it to the room fast enough to stop me. Even then it would be over and done with and where everyone would be furious and struggle to understand, it could be all over and I could move on with my life.

Before I could make a single regretful move I spoke, letting my mind wander I swallowed thickly, "Your back earlier then I expected."

"It's one in the morning," she said, frowning, when she saw the surprise on my face.

"Leah," I didn't need to say her name, seeing as I already had her attention, but I liked saying her name for some reason. "Why didn't you change, when we fought?"

She tilted her head slightly, thinking over what to say, finally she looked at me sadly, there were too many sad looks going around lately. "All I think about was Emily. You seem to heal faster then regular people, but your still vulnerable and I don't think I could bear the thought of leaving you scarred like that, even if it was only for a short period of time or in self defence. And knowing that, I guess my wolf agreed because I didn't even feel the slightest bit like turning."

I shook my head, not liking that at all, seriously and kind of demandingly, "if it ever gets that close again, I dont care how bad you feel, you change."

"I can't hurt you Kira," her voice taking on a pleadingly note to it.

"I dont care if you can or not, because i can!" I snapped, "I'm much more dangerous then you are and in that form your bigger, stronger and faster, it would take me by surprise and changing would physically hurt me in the process if I was close enough to you. Christ Leah, I can kill you, dont you understand that? And the difference between me and you is that I dont think clearly when I'm like this. Shifting could mean the difference between life and death for you, and you said it yourself I'll heal. Dont do that again, do you hear me?"

She stared at me wide eyed, not expecting such a violent sudden reaction, I sighed, running a hand through my hair, I needed a cigarette and badly too. I turned back to her, very quiely I said, "I can't lose you, not now, not _ever_. Promise me you wont let me take things that far again, please?"

She bit her lip, and despite how sexy I seemed to find that I remained serious, "okay Kira, I promise."

We sat silent for a moment, both of us regaining comporse and she reached across the bed and taking the leather bound pages from beside me. I was grateful for the new smell of old papers brought, covering up Leah's own natural scent for a second.

Still pushing through the inner turmoil, I watched her flip through the pages, now I wanted to reach over and kiss her. "What is this?"

"The diary, the thing that started all this," she gave me a confused look, I explained further "Adrian came across it, and used it as a guide to open up his mind. I've gone over it twice now. Nothing of interest, not really anyways."

"Then look somewhere else, I don't like being far away from you," she admitted softly, eyes on the bed as she closed it and set it back down.

"We need to be realistic about this, I may not be able to go back to what I was before, I'm trying, but things are looking rather bleak at the moment."

"You've only been like this a day," she said, mildly surprised that I was giving up so quickly.

I held up the book, "this is it Leah. This is where it all started and I've gotten nothing useful from it. He researched Zaituc and found a dead end. There's no one we can refer too because whatever makes us strong isn't natural and even the vampires haven't heard of it, that just goes to show this sort of a phenomenon. I'm not giving up but I want you to understand that this will not be going away any time soon."

She stared at me, an unreadable look on her face, and for once I couldn't see a thing that gave away what she thought or how she felt. Good poker face, but I had a card up my sleeve, my latest Leah Reder. So I did feel the waves of fear falling off of her, this was coming in handy, "you don't think you'll get back to normal at all, do you?" her voice wavered a little at the end of her more of a statement question, now I wanted to hold her.

"No, Leah, I don't, but just give it some time, okay? I'll figure something out."

She gave me a weird look, "now try saying that like you believe it."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I stood up, pacing the room to cleanse my senses of her for a moment, "What do you want from me? There isn't a whole lot I can do right now, so you better get used to it, this isn't going away."

"I think I liked it better when you at least pretended to care," voice with a harsh edge now.

I matched it, eyes narrowed and voice just as rough and harsh, "I do happen to care, and qute frankly that's the only reason your alive right now."

She remained silent for a moment and I watched the hurt flash in her eyes, sending a spark of guilt through me. I hated how badly I was at this. Relationships just arent my thing and I didn't want to hurt Leah, but I was getting real good at it. If she'd been like us, words would never hurt her, but as Adrian so adaquately put it, she'd never be like us.

"It really says something that if it weren't for the imprinting bond, I would be dead right now," she looked up at me, "wouldn't I? And it would've been by your hand."

I wasn't sure what to say to that without making the conversation worse so this time I kept silent, "would you still care about me? If I hadn't imprinted on you, because I know I'd still love you."

I stared at her, knowing what she wanted to hear but unable to say it. Choosing my words very carefully I said, "I would've cared for you regardless of the imprint," I just wasn't sure how much. She didn't like my answer much.

"Just be honest with me Kira, everything has become so complicated and now I find out that you and your friends have this big terrible secret that endangers everyone around us, people I care about and love. For once, I'd just like the fucking truth from you."

Wow, she really does have a temper, I couldn't help but wonder if it was worse then mine. If I didn't tread carefully things could escalate and her emotions were already starting to overwhelm me, "I don't want to upset you Leah."

"You already have," voice so matter-of-factly that it made me pause.

Keeping my voice cool and even, "The attraction to you was unlike anything I'd ever felt, and all of you told me that is what imprinting was. Life-changing, love at first sight, so on and so on. I've never cared for people that are not like me and your not, so yes I do believe our bond created feelings that wouldn't have been formed naturally."

"Well at least you were honest," she stood up abruptly, leaving the room in two strides, slamming the door behind her. I stared at the door now frowning, she'd asked for the truth hadn't she? What more did she want from me? Everyone wants something from me and quite frankly that was really starting to piss me off. I had no idea what I was doing anymore, least of all when it came to Leah and that bothered me more then anything.

I really suck sometimes.

"Godammit," with that I turned over and punched the wall, my fist going through the plaster and coming out bloody. But the pain was lost on me as my mind filtered out everything that wasn't related to Leah.

**-xxxxx-**

_I will not fall, won't let it go,_

_We will be free when it ends,_

_I've been waiting for someone like you,_

_But now you are slipping away,_

_What have you done now?_

_Why, why does fate make us suffer?_

_There's a curse between us, between me and you_

***I know my timeline for my stories are kind of off, I tend to just go with the flow, sorry if that gets confusing. I'm working on it. **


	17. Poisoning The Darkness

_Sunset, I close my eyes, I pretend everything's alright _

_Drowning in anger from all these lies, I can't pretend everything's alright _

_Please don't let me fall forever, can you tell me it's over? _

**-xxxxx-**

The next morning didn't go splendidly either. I woke up as Leah was getting ready to leave and I made my way downstairs to see her, wanting to fix things for being too brutally honest last night. This whole situation was driving me insane, not that I'd had much sanity or mental stability to begin with.

I strolled into the kitchen, Sue and Leah sitting quietly while my father prepared his coffee for work. I knew she knew I'd walked into the kitchen even though she was purposely looking away from me and pretending I was not standing two feet behind her. I had to pause to catch my breath, that same onslaught of dangerous impulses fighting to be on top of my normal Random ones. I was getting better at it.

"Leah?" I said, a somewhat tentative sound to my voice, the tone seemed to have caught her by surprise because she turned back to look at me. Only for her to realize I had done that to get her attention, she scowled at me. "Can we talk?"

"No, I need to go," she stood up, lifting her coat on, "Emily asked me to come by for a visit." She sounded nonchalant but it was not very convincing to any of us, aside from my father who wasn't even listening. Sue gave me a questioning look, she knew something was going on.

"Just give me a minute," I insisted, reaching out to take her hand, and she flinched and back out of my reach. Now even Sue looked worried, my hand fell to my side, "please Leah? I just want to apologize."

"Apologize for what? I asked you to be honest and you were, no need to apologize for that," I gave her a sideways look, the bitterness in her voice ringing bright and clear through the room.

She moved across the kitchen to the dining room, taking the long way to the door just to avoid coming close to me. I followed after her, "I'm sorry, alright? Just hear me out! I didn't mean to upset you!"

She rounded on me so quickly I almost walked into her, "stop apologizing. It's my own fault for thinking your answer would be anything but cold and empty. You can't help who you are anymore then I can, _just let it go_."

She threw open the door and I moved after her again, not sure what I'd say but desperately wanting to fix this, "wait Leah! Hold-," the door slammed shut before I could walk through it and she was gone, "fuck."

I pressed my head to the door, her running out on me all the time was starting to get on my nerves. What bothered me more was the fact that my stupid mouth was the reason she ran from me every time.

"Trouble in paradise?" Seth asked frowning as he came down the stairs. Everyone knew something was going on between Leah and I, that we were in an argument of sorts, but no one had asked me about it. Probably because I'd been avoiding everyone as if they had rabies.

"What paradise? Feels more like hell to me," I grumbled, going into the kitchen for coffee.

**-xxxxx-**

Seth was already at school when I got there and something hadn't exactly occurred to me until I passed him in the hallway. I never even thought twice before opening my mouth. I really should have.

I turned to Seth, "why in god's name did you not tell me your sister imprinted on me?"

He stared at me blankly for a long time. Then he went bright red, eyes widening slowly as my words registered. "My sister imprinted on you?"

"You didn't know?" now I felt as though I'd been caught red handed. I thought this was something they all knew and I'd been the odd one out, even Caleb had gven me the impression he knew. Leah told me when Quil imprinted on Claire everyone knew at the moment he did, but that was because he was with several of the pack at the time. Seth had been with Leah when we first met, shouldn't he have realized that? He wasn't that oblivious was he? "Did nobody tell you?" There was no way that nobody knew.

"Who didn't?" he asked, eyes narrowed in suspicion. "How come you didn't say anything?!"

"Because I didn't know!" I said incredulously, cringing. "I thought you guys just knew this stuff!"

"Were not that psychic!" he nearly shouted, face still bright red as people around us turned to stare at us oddly. "Sam is going to be furious. I can't believe she didn't tell us."

I gave him a cold stare, "Sam doesn't need to know anything. If she hasn't told anyone than it's pretty clear she wants to keep it that way, you'll do the same." That's all I needed, Seth opening his mouth and telling the world Leah imprinted on her underage, seven years younger, sister in law. As if she wasn't already mad at me.

"I'm not very good at hiding my thoughts," he said, shifting awkwardly, mind still reeling.

I leaned forward, furious with myself more then him for making such a huge mistake, "if you breathe a word of this anyone I will put you in the morgue, do you understand?"

He glared at me, though I could see the nervousness and fear in his eyes and posture, "don't threaten me Kira and no I wont tell anyone, but don't expect me to apologize if people find out. This isn't something that's supposed to be kept a secret."

I slammed him against the locker, my arm across his chest as I pinned him there. At the loud bang people had glanced over and now they were openly staring. His eyes widened even more at the sight of my own eyes darkening, "heed my warning Seth, if the others find out it will upset Leah, and that's all the incentive I need to put hands on you."

Sarcastically he said, "Cause you've been so good to her right?"

Rage flared up inside of me but before I could hurt him Caleb appeared at my side, "Kira?"

It took quite a bit of will power to hold myself in place and turn to Caleb, who took one look at me and then Seth and shoved him away from both of us. "Go to class Seth," Seth glared at the both of us for a quick second and disappeared into the see of faces a breath later.

I rubbed at my face, forcing back my boiling anger and the even stronger urge to cause pain and fear. Caleb took my hand, shoving people out of the way as he guided us down a hall and into an almost empty classroom. A classroom where Adrian stood writing on a chalkboard, he took one look at my enraged expression and frowned, "What's going on now?"

"I'm an idiot is what's going on!" I said turning to glare out the window, the words just tumbled out a moment later. "I totally blew the whistle on Leah and I to her brother. Adrian, I can't keep doing this! I want this _over_, done with! I liked the way things were before, they were simple and now everything is just completely and utterly _fucked_! Seth's angry with me and I threatened the kid to keep his mouth shut and if he can't then the pack will flip. As if I hadn't upset her enough last night!" I took a deep breath, both of them sharing amused looks that made me want to deck them. "What are you even dong here anyways?"

"I'm your new English teacher and health teacher," I raised my eyebrows, Adrian teaching health? I'm sure. That was hard to imagine.

"And what happened to Mrs. Brewer?" I asked highly amused with this strange turn of events.

"Mrs. Brewer wont be returning, she's getting eloped in Vegas and moving to Boston."

I burst out laughing, "oh my god Adrian, I cannot believe you killed my teacher just to babysit me!"

"I've killed for less," he said grinning now, "and as for Leah, leave her be for a while, if your already moments from pulling limbs off of her brother I think it's safe to say your not yet controlled enough to be anywhere near her."

"Yeah, were in agreement on that one." Not that I would listen or behave, now would I?

**-xxxxx-**

Watching Adrian teach a bunch of hormonal teenagers was probably one of the funniest things I'd seen in a while. He kept getting irritated with everyone, he'd never taught English, let alone health before in his life. A greatly humorous additon to the downside of his latest career was that despite the fact that many good looking girls were flirting with him, he couldn't touch a single one. He probably would eventually, but I couldn't deny how smug I felt knowing he was suffering just to watch over me, it was his own fault for making me stay in school in the first place, he did this to himself.

I made it to first period late, but Mr. Kingsley gave me a note, not surprising that Adrian would pick a surname with the word king in it for his alias. I pointed out that the note was unnecessary considering Hurley wouldn't dare get on my bad side again, or at least no more then he already was. Never even called on me for answers anymore, that too, amused me greatly. I loved that feeling, knowing a grown man feared a tiny little girl like me.

Even the teachers had started to shy away from me a little, though that was more due to the fact that a horrible evil just radiated from me now. It was refreshing to finally have my privacy back, that no one would step up and get in my face or even touch me just because they felt something around me that terrified them. Something they couldn't quite put their finger on let alone pin point what it was, just that they needed to stay away. And stay away they did.

Adrian, Caleb and I had lunch together, all of us agreed that Leah and I needed to take some precautions and I knew just what to do. I was going to teach Leah how to use a gun, though I didn't tell my brothers that part of my plan. Our lunch was interrupted near the end when Hailey appeared at the doorway.

"Can I talk to you?" she asked, eyes flickering between both Caleb and Adrian who shared unimpressed looks.

I stood, having expected a confrontation during gym rather then at lunch seeing as her car wasn't in the parking lot this morning, but I was surprised that she hadn't hunted me down sooner. She'd called five times this weekend. Once outside the hall she turned to me, an unreadable look on her face, but her eyes said it all, she was upset, "your sister is the girl you were sneaking around with?"

"More or less, mostly less," I said smirking mischievously.

"Why didn't you tell me?" now she sounded hurt, I couldn't help but find it rather pathetic. Poor kid.

"Because it wasn't any of your business, you knew that you were a tool for coping and now I don't need you."

She stared at me for a long moment, "because your sister knows now?"

"In part. Leah's upset, sure, but there are things that have come into play, and put simply, I don't need a coping mechanism or a distraction right now. Your a problem I don't need."

"Your talking weird," she said quietly, eyes searching my hollow empty ones, she didn't looked scared, just sad. "Why?"

"Something happened this weekend and I'm seeing things differently," it was the truth, just really vague.

"Did Leah hurt you?"

I laughed at that, "no, Leah couldn't really hurt me if she wanted to," half-true, I planned to teach Leah to hurt me when push comes to shove.

"Then what? Your sleeping with her again? Your sixteen Kira, she's your sister in law, do you know how messed up that is?" now I heard disbelief and judgement.

I retorted with my usual lop sided smirk and care free voice, "I'm not incompetent Hailey, but thank you for informing me of the absurdity of our non-existent relationship."

She gave me a weird look, "you can't date your sister Kira. Do your parents know?" I gave her a sideways glance, a look that clearly said 'fuck no'. "What will people say? What will your family say? They don't even know your gay and I bet they dont know she is either!"

"I'm bi-sexual, not gay, there's a difference."

"That's not my point!" she shouted in irritation.

I deliberated that for a moment, imagining my fathers bright red expression, probably a lot like Seth's only he'd be angry rather then uncomfortable. That look was almost tempting enough to make me want to out Leah and myself. I could just picture the stunned look on Sue's face as they realized her twenty three year old daughter was fooling around with her daughter in law. I grinned at her now, "Hailey, chill out, Leah and I have not gotten back together, and things are just far too complicated for me to deal with the drama that comes with messing around with you. My ex, your ex, our families, it's just too much bullshit to deal with right now."

She scoffed, "Bullshit Kira. So that's it? Your sister, the one you haven't been hooking up with finds out, and you break up with me just to keep her from being hurt?"

I raised my eyebrows, "I just don't need you, so if it helps you to see it that way by all means keep thinking that."

Her reaction? "Your a fucking cold hearted soulless bitch!" She slapped me hard to enough to catch me off guard and make my head snap to the right, leaving a white hot stinging in my cheek and I was so surprised I just watched her turned and walk away.

I raised my hand rubbing my cheek and glaring a little, I suppose I deserved that. "Ow," I mumbled, turning to the door where both Adrian and Caleb had seen what had just gone down. Both of them were grinning.

"Real smooth Kira," Adrian said, rolling his eyes and shaking his head at me. I flipped him off.

**-xxxxx-**

I bailed after that, told them I was going to class, then stole Adrian's car after subtly pick pocketing him and went to track down Leah. I couldn't very well take my car or Caleb's car, if my brothers saw me driving around town on accident they'd call Adrian right away, they wouldn't expect me to take Adrian's vehicle. Much. I tended to go overboard when I set my mind to something and right now I wanted to see Leah and make her smile, which was quickly becoming my life's mission somehow.

I turned off my cell phone and the GPS on the car and went to Emily's place. Only Paul and Sam were there. I didn't bother knocking, nethier of them looking up from the television they were using.

"Hey good looking, haven't seen you in a while," Paul said, not taking his eyes off of the screen.

"Where are the girls?" very relaxed and casual sounding.

"All the girls went out for the day," Sam said distractedly, shooting at Paul's player. "Leah asked us not to tell anyone where."

"Right," _of course she did_.

I looked around, going into the kitchen where Sam's phone conveniently lay. I searched his text messages, Emily had messaged him ten minutes ago saying they were going to lunch and that they wouldn't be home till later. I texted her back, asking her where they were eating and where they were headed next and then shut off the phone when Paul came into the kitchen. I turned to the fridge, pouring myself some juice and kept my game face on when the phone vibrated a moment and he looked from it to me and back again.

"Juice?" I asked, eyebrows raised as if I were displeased with his staring, I was, but not for the reason he thought.

"No thanks," he grabbed a can of pop and left the kitchen, I grinned to myself, checking the latest text and then deleted the previous ones.

I gave a quick good bye, leaving the house and getting back into the car, before driving to Forks and then to the high school. I couldn't text Bella seeing as my brothers were probably looking for me and Adrian would notice his car missing if he hasn't already, they would be tracking my cell.

Bella was going into gym class right now, playing soccer by the looks of it. I crossed over to the bleachers, leaning on the edge of a step as she raced across the field with the other students. She was faster then them, and much more aggressive, she was getting competitive now too. I liked watching her move across the field with such agility, it was proof of how far she'd come since she'd met me. As if feeling my pride and my eyes on her she looked over to us and paused. In her pause, someone kicked the ball and impressively, she managed to turn in time to catch it before it slammed into the side of her face.

The coach blew the whistle and she came running towards me, smiling. "What are you doing here?" she asked breathlessly, face flushed.

"Came to get you, I upset Leah earlier and she wouldn't hear my apology so I'm going to surprise her."

She snorted slightly, "With me? Kira, Leah hates me."

"She does not hate you, she just thought you were kind of too," I searched for a word and then shrugged, "she thinks your lame. Boring. Normal."

"I see, so you've upset her and now you want me to prove I'm not normal and show her up, great plan," she said sarcastically. I rolled my eyes at her.

"No, but I do need a reason to be in Seattle and I'm going to say you need a new winter coat and I volunteered to drive you seeing as your truck is going to die of old age," she shrugged.

"What the hell, I'm in."

**-xxxxx-**

_Caught in the darkness, I go blind, _

_But can you help me find my way out? _

_Nobody hears me, I suffer the silence, _

_Can you tell me it's over now? _

**-xxxxx-**

"Bella you said that life screwed me over, because imprinted on me, what did you mean by that?"

She gave me a weird look, "because you didn't have a say in the matter. You just sort of got her whether you wanted her or not. Your choice was taken from you, that never occurred to you?"

I frowned, "we don't think like that. We either want something or we don't, and generally we take what we want and destroy what we don't. I wanted Leah, but things changed and everything got confusing and complicated, and I realized taking what I want wasn't as easy as it used to be," I hesitated, once again unsure if what I was saying was apt or not. "I realized that sometimes wanting something and having something are two very different things. Which sucks because life isn't supposed to be like that for me, Random's maybe, but not us."

Leah, Kim, Emily, baby Claire and her mother Bethany were supposed to be at Bellevue Square mall next. "This mall is pretty big, how do you even know they're here?" she asked frowning as we went through a set of doors.

"I went through Sam's phone and asked Emily," I said shrugging, "Sam wouldn't tell me."

"Why?"

"Leah asked him not to," I honed in on my instincts, searching out for Leah and finding her on the north east end of the building. I was enjoying this part of the being stuck part of me.

"How do you know where she is anyways?" all curiosity and no suspicion. That's what I liked about Bella, she just liked to know things and she was so open minded that nothing seemed to phase her much anymore. She was the calm and I was the storm, I hadn't realized how at ease I was around her. I didn't even feel the need to slit throats with her by my side, at least no more then i did when i was at the highschool. The urge was there but not the need, not yet, it would be once i was closer to Leah.

I momentarily compared this latest development in my attitude with Bella around to those i had when I was with my brothers. They were making things so difficult, forcing rules on me and they were so pushy about everything that I hadn't even realized I'd begun to avoid them some. I briefly wondered if they'd noticed, then realized Bella was still waiting for an answer.

"It's hard to explain, I just feel her now. After I snapped, it was as if she was a part of me. I can feel when she's close, what's she's feeling, that kind of thing. I'm not sure why though, it kind of freaks me so can we not talk about it?" she just nodded once, both of us stopping outside of Banana Republic. She was in here in the back somewhere.

We went in and Bella left to get a coat. On the way here I'd told her I was really buying her a winter coat, and that we'd do some light shopping just to make it seem less stalkerish. Wow, I really was bordering on stalker right now. I brushed it off, feeling how upset Leah still was. I moved to the back of the store, hearing my imprint and the others talk quietly and I stood off to the side where no one could see me. I took a minute to re-gain control of my impulses before I tuned in more.

"I feel weird in this," Leah called from behind a closed changing room door. Kim and Emily were also in the other change rooms.

"You feel weird?! It feels like I'm wearing a damn t-shirt," Kim called back.

"Alright, alright, enough! I want to see!" Beth said, bouncing a giggling Claire on her lap. I guess they'd been here a while. Which worked out well.

Both Emily and Kim came out, both of them wearing warmer more wintry dresses in more subtle colors. Leah wouldn't come out, "I don't like it, I'm going to change," she said, sounding a little awkward and I smiled to myself.

"Don't you dare! You picked that dress, now come out!" Emily protested and I heard her sigh before stepping out. She was wearing a dark blue foliage lace dress, cutting off at the elbows and going to about mid thigh, it was skin tight above the waist and had a small leather brown belt. Damn did it look amazing on her, just fit her perfectly, I was tempted to throw out the rule book and take her back into the change room for something much more satisfying for the both of us.

I smiled to myself, watching her as she was stared at the mirror in obvious distaste, "I don't like it."

Before any of the others girls could respond I spoke up, "we'll have to agree to disagree because I think you look absolutely stunning."

They all turned to me startled, and she grinned and then caught her self and scowled at me. I smirked even more, "how'd you find us? I told Sam not to tell you where we were!"

"Like that could stop me, I'm joking. Bella told me she needed a new coat and I offered to take her shopping. I didn't feel like hanging out at school and I went to see you but Sam told me you weren't around so I figured what the hell," I moved towards them, sitting down on the bench next to Beth. "Seriously though, that dress looks great on you."

She turned back to the mirror, re-examining it and smiled to herself a little. "She's right, you should buy it, you'll have the guys drooling all over you," Kim said in agreement, and I frowned. Okay, maybe I don't like it so much anymore.

As if sensing my sudden unease at that prospect Leah smirked, turning back to us, "I happen to have my eye on someone already, there the only ones that I want to look at me."

She flashed us a smile, but her eyes were on me and I gave her a small smile in return, but the others didn't clue into the silent exchange, Beth's "Really? Who?" kind of gave that away.

"It's a secret," she said cryptically, still smiling.

"Well don't worry, they'd be a fool not to appreciate how you beautiful you are," Beth said giving her an open smile, the other two nodding in agreement. Even Claire reached out to touch Leah's dress.

Without looking away from Leah I simply said, "I'm sure they do, even if she doesn't know it, or believe it herself."

"I'm surprised Sam let you come out here," Kim said.

"He doesn't know I'm here, no one does," everyone stared a me incredulously, "what? He let you guys takes off."

"Because were in public, were together and the Volturi dont know about us or imprints. There after you and Bella now, you shouldn't be here," Leah said looking around as if she expected the Volturi to pop up out of thin air.

"Your here to keep an eye on things and I can't handle myself, besides, I do a lot of things I shouldn't."

"That's not comforting Kira," Emily said sighing, "maybe I should call him."

"Maybe you shouldn't, I'm here for a reason," though I'd made a crap lie that they all fell for about that. "Sam's just going to tell you to drag me home and I wont just because I'm a rebellious teenager," full on smirking now they all shared looks but relented, it's not like we'd be here all night. Emily stepped forward, inspecting the price tags on Leah's dress, dropping the subject.

"It's kind of pricey, you sure you can afford it?" Leah took the tag out of her hand, looking it over herself, deflating a little. "No, I can't."

"I guess it's a good thing I can then," I said, everyone sharing more surprised looks, "but you owe me," I threw her a quick wink and she must've blushed beat red. Thankfully they were clueless to the obvious innuendo _and_ her blushing.

"Didn't you say you were here with Bella?" Emily asked, looking around.

As if on cue, Bella came around the corner empty handed, "nothing," she said shrugging, "we should check out Express." Our agreement was to stand as Leah and the other two went back into the change rooms.

Leah and I hung back a little as the other four walked up ahead, Emily and Bella talking quietly, and Beth and Kim talking about whatever. I couldn't help but compare Emily and Bella to two giggling school girls sharing a secret. "Just because you bought me an expensive pretty dress doesn't mean I'm going to forget what you said," Leah said coolly, but I could tell she was pleased that I'd continued trying to make things better between us.

"What if I just enjoy spoiling you?" I retorted bemused, then seriously, "I know Leah, I didn't mean to upset you so much, I should've explained better."

"Go on," she said cautiously, I took a level breath, focusing on all of my warmer more caring emotions for her. I used that to explain things rather then let my darker half take over.

"Under normal circumstances, if I wasn't so temperamental and murderous and you weren't a wolf, then yes, I would've been quite fond of you. If it hadn't been Brandon and David who I'd come across when my mother betrayed me, I would've been a lot like you. Sometimes it's hard to sift through all of the emotions that aren't human and see the truth of things," I turned to her, both of us stopping in our tracks.

She waited for me to continue when I paused and felt as though I needed her undivided attention for this. I'd never done this before and I was paranoid I'd stumble over the words. "But don't ever think I wouldn't care about you if you hadn't imprinted on me. I'm not good with words and a lot of the time, well actually never is a better word. I _never_ take peoples feelings into consideration because _I don't care_. But your the last person I'd want to hurt," not entirely true but in the emotional and mental sense it was, "I don't mean to or want to upset you, and I know a lot of the time my poor choice of words come back to bite me in the ass, but I need you to know my feelings for you are genuine.

"When you asked about how I would feel without the imprint, I hadn't thought about how I would feel if I also wasn't the creature I am today. Once I'd thought about it, I can honestly tell you I would be very much in love with you despite the awkward position we are in because of our parents being married."

Thank god I finally ran out of steam because this whole speech was getting embarrassing and I could feel the blackness inside of me curdle at the words as if it were poison. That had to have been the longest most disgustingly sweet declaration for love I had ever made. Based on the look of admiration and appreciation on her face I was right. She smiled widely now, "I know, I just wanted to hear you say it, you sound like my Kira again."

I chuckled, "Yeah, it wont last long."

"So what's up with Bella? She seems different now," she observed, both of us turning back to the others as they walked around a corner, none of them even realizing we were so far behind.

"Bella is like me and my brothers," I said watching her carefully.

"And your teaching her to be like you?" she didn't sound like she approved.

"It's her choice, she knows what that means. She's convinced she can get through it all without being as homicidal as me, where I'm sure that's true only because my body count happens to be the highest, she can't be like us without blowing up and killing a person here or there."

Leah frowned at me, "the cavalier way in which you discuss murdering innocent people disturbs me."

I grinned at her word choice, taking her hand and intertwining them, I kissed her knuckles and then dropped her hand. She looked pleased with the touch, "can't help it. Random lives don't mean anything to me."

"Would I still be a 'Random'," she used air quotes and I smirked yet again, this time it stayed in place. I was fixing things and seeing her smile again had totally made my day. I was in for a total shit storm when I got home but I didn't care, this would always be worth it. Leah was always just worth everything. "Without the imprint?"

"You _are_ a Random, the difference between you and everyone is that your Leah Clearwater, _My_ Random," she laughed under her breath, leaning over, and for a moment we froze again, making me highly aware of just how close she was to me.

She wanted to kiss me, but she wasn't sure she should. Still, just being close to her was difficult, I'd gotten good at ignoring it, but when her own impulses wanted her to touch me and she did, it intensified everything, like being burned by her touch.

It was one thing for me to touch her, I was completely aware of every move I made. Regardless of tuning into her emotions and getting a heads up, she still managed to overwhelm me. After the long pause I found myself breathing hard and I had to step back, re-focusing on our surroundings to clear the Red that was entering my mind.

"I'm sorry," she said fear running through her and her own step back sent ice through my veins and this time around I had no idea what side of me it was from.

I reached out, taking her hand, "don't be afraid of me," eyes pleading with her to believe me. "I wont hurt you."

"I can see it in your eyes though, when you struggle, it scares me, knowing that you can't control it."

"I've never had to before, it's taken some adjusting, I don't mean to frighten you," I whispered, eyes falling to floor. I felt something I don't think I ever had before. It was shame, and it sent another shot of self hate through me.

"It's hard to believe I'm the cause of it all," she said, lifting my chin gently so that our eyes met, pain reflecting in both of ours, so many different kinds I didn't think about it. "I'm sorry I did this to you, that I still do this to you. I wish I could help." I took her hand from my chin, moving it so that it cupped the right side of my face, her warmth and high temperature pulsing across my cool flesh.

"You _are_ helping by not giving up just yet. I need you Leah," I said truthfully, feeling the honesty of my words stab me in the gut, I rarely needed anything. "I can't do this without you. Right now," I struggled to find the right words to phrase this. "Right now, your the only thing keeping me grounded, your the thing that's driving me to fix what's happened. I used to love how monstrous I was because it felt good, I lived in darkness, I breathed it and I adored it. But now it's like you'd opened the door and let the sunlight in. I want it and need it and crave it, your like my sun, the thing that's guiding me. I can't lose you."

Man, I was on a roll with all of this sappy stuff. It was making me feel weird, and kind of awkward mentally too. But again, I could also feel how much Leah was enjoying this ridiculously loving touchy-feely stuff. I was practically vomiting it all over the place and it was embarrassing, but still worth it. After all, isn't this what I'd set out to do in the first place?

**-xxxxx-**

_There's a hate inside of me like some kind of master,_

_I tried to save you, but I can't find the answer,_

_I'm holding onto you, I'll never let go,_

_I need you with me as I enter the shadows_


	18. When The Night Tells Her Story

_I know, what I want,_

_And I'll get, what I need,_

_I'll come over and I'll show you how,_

_Don't you wish that you could have me now_

**-xxxxx-**

"What are you getting Leah for Christmas?" I hadn't thought much about what to get Leah for Christmas, which has become a problem considering it was in nine days. Most of the time when it snowed it turned to slush, but we also hadn't gotten much snow to begin with. "Get her something personal, she'll like that," Bella said between the pause after I'd blocked her hit.

I pulled back some, moving out to kick her and she blocked that assault as well, "I don't do personal." She struck out against me this time, and I grabbed her wrist, twisted her arm so she turned and shoved her hard. She didn't hit the ground though, just stumbled forward a bit. I rushed her and she side stepped, striking out and I danced out of the way, her fist just centimeters from my face. "What does that even mean anyways, '_personal_'?"

We circled, both of us breathing heavily and she tilted her thinking, "something from the heart. Something with meaning." She rushed me, and I jumped out of the way, and she hooked her ankle around mine and pulled. I hit the ground, and then rolled when she pounced, driving her fist into the ground hard. If it hurt, she didn't show it.

"What heart?" I flipped back upwards, rolling my shoulders as I steadied my breathing.

"You have a heart-_a black one_-and your it belongs to a crazy bitch, but your still in love and you still have a heart," yeah the juries out on that one.

"I'm not in love with anybody," I persisted in a slightly bored tone, though the words felt false leaving my tongue. We circled one another again. I didn't want to be in love, I was okay with loving someone, kind of, but I was not comfortable with being in love.

"Just admit it, your in love with Leah Clearwater, it's not that big a deal," I gave her a look, "it's only a big deal to you because you've never loved anyone. Got to admit, feels good, doesn't it?" apparently she remembered her drunken advice from the festival.

"No, it really doesn't," everything had gone smoothly since clearing the air between Leah and I at the mall on Monday, but that was only three days ago. I'd made it clear that Leah and I still needed to keep space between us. It was now Thursday and I missed her every time I breathed. Then when she was around I could barely breathe without my instincts pushing at me to lash out. I wasn't enjoying this at all.

"Once you get better control everything will be fine," she insisted, kicking out, I caught her ankle and spun her. She landed on her stomach and jumped back up a heartbeat later and struck out when I rushed her, catching me in the jaw. She'd moved a lot faster then she had most of this session so she got me good. I staggered backwards and she collided with me, both us tumbling to the ground in tangled limbs. I managed to get myself on top and I struck out and she raised her arm to block it and then flipped me over her. I rolled and then both of us stood back up again as I rubbed at my throbbing jaw.

"I haven't gotten any better though, every time she's in the room it's like getting sucker punched in the face," I shook my head, relaxing the defensive stance I'd been in, we'd been at this for over three hours. "Let's call it."

She relaxed, both of us going towards our coats and bags, drinking some water and sitting on the wet grass. It didn't bother us, we were covered in blood, mud and sweat already, what's a little water?

"You've already bought Leah stuff, nice stuff, but it's just that, _stuff_. There's no real emotion behind it other than your satisfaction that you bought her something expensive that she saw just moments earlier. There's no real consideration or anything personal about it," she said pausing between gulps water.

"But _what_?" I asked in exasperation, finishing half of my own water and then capping it.

Bella was silent for a moment, twisting her engagement ring back on and eyeing it. The boys argued that Bella's engagement should be called off but she wouldn't budge, they'd looked at me for back up but I didn't care that much. The initial disapproval had worn off within hours. After that it was mostly, 'why not? She wants to stay good through this maybe being in love and having her boyfriend around will help her with that'. "This was the ring Edward's father gave to his mother."

"It's quite-," I struggled to think of the proper ring, "I got nothing, it's nice though, I guess. For an engagement ring, if you like engagement rings. I do not."

She stared at me bemused and I fell onto my back, staring up at the rolling dark clouds. It's been interesting, training in the rain. We'd spent most of the night sparring, and earlier I'd blindfolded her for the first half of training. Next week I was going to try training her with something to mute out the sounds and blindfold her, teach her to trust her own instincts some more. "My point is, Edward chose to keep this ring from his human life, of all things, because it meant something to him. It's probably not worth a million dollars and it's an antique and it's not exactly subtle, but it's something he cherishes, that I cherish."

"That sounds incredibly lame," I said honestly in a flat tone. She gave me a frown and I shrugged, "I'm not sentimental Bella, not in a little-trinkets-special-ring kind of way and I don't think Leah is either."

"Just give her something she'll remember, that will always remind her of you."

"Aren't the memories enough?" I commented dryly. "If I die or something why would she want to be reminded me of the few times I scared her or tried to kill her?"

"Your over thinking this," she said sighing, "what's her favorite thing to do?"

"Pout?" I retorted with a smirk, Leah was just flat out adorable when she pouted. She raised her eyebrows, I pushed myself up on my elbows and thought about that for a minute. Leah liked to read quite a bit, had burned her way through my library within weeks, she liked my history and philosophy collection I noticed. She also loved hard rock music and she'd mentioned the best part of being a wolf was the running, the freedom of it all. She craved freedom as much as I did, maybe even more, I also got the feeling she wanted to travel. "She likes to run."

As if it were obvious she replied, "Then start there," I turned to Bella and stared at her to see if she was joking. She wasn't.

"Start there? What are you talking about _start there_? There is no 'there'. What am I supposed to do? Buy her a treadmill?" I said sarcastically and she laughed a little.

"Well I'm not going to tell you what to do, but you'll figure it out eventually," as if she knew what I should get, but refused to tell me. How incredibly unhelpful.

"Who cares about Christmas anyways? It's a shitty pagan holiday twisted up for Random's to ask for things they don't need and only desire. It's a greedy celebration that disgusts me, i prefer to just take what i want when i want," I said evenly. I couldn't care less about this part of winter, I didn't care for it, it was useless to me and I'd never spent it in this mindset, but I still felt the same.

"She'll be expecting something." No judgement just stating a fact, least she wasnt implying she was greedy or something.

"Everyone's expecting something from me," and it was all bullshit. If I could grab Leah and bolt I would, but that didn't seem like much of an option right now.

She stood, stretching a little. I watched her for a moment, observing the physical changes in her body. You could see that most of her body had become muscle rather then fat, not that she'd been overweight to begin with, but she just looked stronger. The muscles looked good on her, not that she looked like some weight lifting addict or something, but she looked healthy now. Her facial features were the same, so there was just something about the way she carried herself now. She was confident, like she could handle and defend herself without hesitance or low self esteem. She looked strong.

"What was it like when you met Edward? Was it love at first sight or did it all just build up over time?" I asked curiously, standing as well, pulling on my coat and pants. I wasn't cold, but it might freak out Sue and my father if I strolled into the house in nothing but my gear. Dad was worried enough already, with me talking cold like before and hanging out with the boys again, he was worried we'd get into trouble. I wasn't worried, Adrian said him and David had already taken care of the the police and the mayor.

"Definitely not love at first sight. I'm Edward's singer, so the first few times we'd been close to one another he was trying not to kill me in the middle of a classroom, but after that it was intense, over powering," she glanced over to me.

"I did not try to kill Leah when we first met! Can you stop comparing my relationship with Leah to yours and Edwards?" I asked irritably. She always did that. Edward and I were two very different people. Just because we were both blood thirsty did not mean we were the same. I enjoyed murdering people, Edward was a little bitch about it, all this remorse over the few years he spent killing people that deserved to die. I just killed anybody innocent or not. I'd even killed a Random every day this week, and even killed three Random's on Monday, though that was because of how close Leah and I had been that afternoon.

"There are similarities Kira, not the details, but you do think alike sometimes," I grimaced at that. I didn't like Edward much, but for the most part we'd continued to play nice. I'm pretty sure he only disliked me because he couldn't read my mind, though he couldn't read any of ours, thank god. Also because I was turning Bella into a dangerous temperamental weapon. Apparently there have been quite a few arguments in the Cullen household about how much time Bella was spending with me. Which was a few hours every night.

I had some extra time on my hands, I'd quit the school teams when I almost killed an opposing player at a home game yesterday and Hailey wasn't helping with her hostile attitude either, I still couldn't believe she'd slapped me. Though the other girls were still making an effort to be nice to me, despite my nature showing in very part of my being now.

"David and I are going out, did you want to come?"

"Sure. You and Caleb don't seem to be spending much time together," she pointed out frowning, "is everything okay between you two?"

"Caleb's pissed off that I wont let anyone meet Leah, big brother crap," I said sighing. "They've been pushing for it, but it wont go well."

"What makes you say that?"

"Were all temperamental, her included. Leah and I are both on edge right now," I could feel _just_ how on edge Leah was even as I spoke, "and everyone's waiting for me to have some kind of meltdown and kill her or something. I don't think there's a way to fix what's happened and well, I just don't trust them around her. You saw how they acted, they want to kill her, or at least some of them do," I shrugged, both of us going back towards her place.

"So there still hasn't been any luck with the journals?" she asked, once we'd made it back to the trail.

"No, I must've gone over them about eighty times, I'm going to copy it and then give it back. I need to start looking elsewhere."

"Which would be?" she trailed off eyebrows raised.

"Lucian was raised in Romania, I'm going to start there."

"You said it was a dead end."

"It is, but there has to be something that's been overlooked. If I have to I'll go to Romania myself," I said determinedly. Lucian grew up in a town in Satu Mare, right on the edge of Hungary and Romania, but most of his family is in Bucharest. When she said nothing I peered over at her, she was staring at me with an unreadable expression. "What?"

"Take me with you, if you go to Romania, I want to help and I get the feeling your not going to tell any of your brothers about your plan."

"It's not a plan yet," I said frowning, I couldn't take Bella with me. it was bad enough I was going. "What about the Volturi, it's safer for you here."

"Since when do you care about my safety?"

"Since you became a part of my family," we got onto the road, David leaning against the car smoking a joint. "I don't know what I'm doing, and I probably wont know until the end of December."

"I still want to go," she said stubbornly.

"Go where?" David asked, passing the joint to me.

"To Seattle with us," I said, taking a long hit off of it, feeling my senses become awash and at ease before holding it out to Bella. She stared at it uneasily, I exhaled, a cloud of smoke falling from my lips as I held it a little impatiently, "yes or no dude, make a choice."

She just shrugged, taking it from me. "Why don't you want her to go?" David asked frowning, then grinned mischievously, "we could use the extra back up and she has to learn some time, why not learn from the pros?"

"I suppose," I said half heartedly. Bella exhaled, taking two more hits, to my surprise before passing it back to David. "Need to stay out of our way though, the venue were taking might have more then ten people."

"If I keep watching you guys kill people, will I trigger?" she asked curiously, a little hesitantly.

"When you watch someone kill and enjoy it a handful of times, wouldn't you begin to wonder what it feels like to take a life?" I asked her, silently taking the joint out of David's hand when he didn't give it back.

"Of course, I already wonder that," we'd had an unspoken agreement not to mention that I'd taken her back home, and for the most part everyone had forgotten. Until Jace was texted that I'd been sighted with a brunette girl back in San Francisco and that four people were murdered in a local dive bar. Jace tells Adrian, Adrian asks Caleb about it, next thing you know everyone's flipping a shit about the whole thing. They overreacted in my opinion, we weren't gone that long and it's not like we stayed the night or anything. I did not need a bodyguard, nor did I need a babysitter, but apparently everyone disagrees with that.

"The Crave will come on faster, the sooner the better, I think anyways, nobody else seems to agree with us," David said, giving me a full on puppy pout once I'd stepped out of the way when he reached for the joint again. "Sharing is caring!"

"Guess it's a good thing I don't care then," I said smirking as I took another long hit.

"Kira! Your going to smoke it all!"

"Yeah, that's the idea," I took another hit and then coughed when he launched himself at me. I turned and began running down the street, taking another hit before he jumped at me, sending both of us sprawling to the ground in the soaking dirty ice cold water, "ah!"

I turned over as he scrambled over me towards the joint, which was still very much burning and dry. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled hard. He hit the ground again and I climbed over him and almost got my hands on it when Bella's hand appeared.

"Thank you," wide smirk on her face as we stared in horror between the two last hits she took.

"EVIL!" I shouted, breaking into a grin after a moment.

"Almost, not yet though," she said smugly, dropping the filtered end of it. I pouted now, standing back up as I turned to my brother expectantly.

He chuckled knowing exactly what I wanted, another one, "I'm on it, how about we hit the road ladies?"

"Let's," Bella hooked her arm around mine as we both made our way to the car. Both David and I were soaked, but I just changed out of my clothes and pulled on one of his hoodies. I didn't have anymore pants, well I did, but nothing I could change into just yet. But I couldn't care less, we were about to turn into animals, I ran colder then most people physically anyways and I wasn't too concerned with staying dry of blood, so why should I care about muddy water?

**-xxxxx-**

_You say that you want,_

_All of my love but let's be honest,_

_We don't need all that,_

_I like it better with no strings attached_

**-xxxxx-**

"Where we going exactly?" Bella asked as we pulled into Seattle, "it's not another bar is it?"

"Someone's a little eager for the show to start," David said amused. "We wanted to check out this late night viewing of Sweeney Todd. The 1936 version. I saw it in the newspaper this morning and thought of Kira, I knew she'd love to see it and have a little fun while were at it."

"Who watches a black and white version of Sweeney Todd on a Thursday at ten o'clock at night?" she asked skeptically.

"Cinema geeks," we said in unison, sharing grins.

"Isn't a theater kind of a dangerous place to massacre?"

"Which is why you'll be wearing this," I leaned over, and opened a bag, revealing two blonde wigs, contacts, make-up and anything else we might need.

"We've never done a theater before," David added, parking about eight blocks from the location.

"Where have you guys hit?" she asked, all of us pulling on the disguises and doing our make up. Bella and I appeared to be tanned blue eyed blondes and David had on a coffee black wig and brown eyes, adding side burns, a slight mustache. After Bella and I stopped giggling we got out of the car.

"Aquarium, zoo's, clubs, casinos, libraries, museums, raves, all kinds of places. Whatever catches our eye I guess," I thought the irony of Sweeney Todd would suit us perfectly. I was excited, it's been a while since we did anything this exciting. "We were actually going to steal a boat later too. It's nice enough to see the stars on the water."

I'd wanted to bring Leah, but how could I explain slaughtering a bunch of Randoms to her without her freaking out? Simple. I couldn't and it wasn't a conversation I wanted to have, I scared the girl enough. She thought I was trying to stop being what I was, all I wanted to do was fix the part of me that wanted to hurt her not the part that enjoyed killing.

"It's a little late for something like that don't you think?"

"I only need two or three hours of sleep and David can sleep in, though I doubt he will," David, Jace and Brandon were still hunting down Gabriel's boys during the day.

They found two, but they were another dead end and one spat blood in Brandon's face, who became infuriated and crushed his larynx. The other one ended up dead before they even got within four feet of them. Wish I'd been there for that, Brandon rarely loses his cool. After that they laid low, so we haven't come across anyone else. They were all so random too, none of them had a single connection to one another, let alone Gabriel. They weren't even from the same city. We guessed there were two more people in town and three more in Port Angelus. It felt like they were waiting for something, but no one could figure out what exactly.

"You could always skip out, it's only Friday," David suggested logically.

"Now, now, brother, don't be a bad influence," I reprimanded in a motherly voice.

David burst out laughing, draping his arm over my shoulder, "you dont pull off being a parent horribly, but it's cute."

"I try," he kissed me on the cheek and Bella looked on with amusement.

"So the others don't want me to trigger?" she asked, trying to sound nonchalant, but coming off more then a little disappointed.

David and I shared looks, "it's got nothing to do with you personally Bella. Were all quite fond of you already, you fascinate us just as little Kira did," I glared at him and he grinned. "Girls just seem so much different then us after the transformation. Your darker, more sadistic and far more blood thirsty."

She didn't like that answer at all. "What makes you think I'll be anything like Kira?"

I protested at the sound of her voice, "I'm not that bad."

"You've killed two times more people then Adrian and he's been at this for six years," Adrian had triggered right away, something about teenagers being easier to change then adults and children, not that he'd tried to change any children, after all I'd just been fourteen, so it's safe to say any younger and we'd have a problem. I had been hard enough to handle.

About eight months after Adrian changed he came across Jace in Canada, who will twenty two at the beginning of March. Six months after that Adrian turned Jace he found David, who also happened to be the one that noticed our brothers and much like Bella, he'd chosen and gone after the change. There was just something about Jace that made him see more then the rest of us, even Adrian had almost over looked him if it hadn't been for his intrigue. He brought David home one day, who had who will be twenty one next month, was sixteen when he flipped his little psychosis switch.

Actually, everyone was sixteen when they changed, well, except for Brandon who was seventeen and myself of course. Brandon met Jace a year and a half later, who I'm told was very nervous and quite reluctant to change and took two months of convincing before he finally gave in. Both Brandon and David were going to be twenty this year, but David had the extra twenty months on him seeing as he'd met Adrian and Jace first.

Caleb and I didn't come into the picture for two years, considering they never met anyone else that had that special little dark side locked away inside of them and they traveled a lot. It was all very, very confusing, I had pretty much tuned out when Jace gave me the rundown on all of this. None of us were even from the same state.

"Were you really that psychotic?" Bella asked doubtfully.

"She had a temper, pent up rage after everything her mom did, it got worse after the police tortured her," David said, and I leaned against him for support as the memories slammed into me like a stampede of elephants. I wasn't big on torture, I'd drag out painful deaths, but that's what they were, deaths, not intended to survive the night and never longer then about half an hour or something. David kissed my forehead lightly and both of us glanced back at Bella.

"Nobody ever said anything about torture!" she said so loudly it verged on shouting.

"What did you think we meant when we said they went after Kira? They thought she was the weakest Bella, she's a girl, she was a child, she's our baby and she always will be," now it was my turn to get a disbelieving look, at both David's choice of words and the soft angry tone he had. "They wanted to break her, and they tried, for four hours. By the time we got there we couldn't even tell if she was alive or not." Okay, I didn't want to hear this, nor did I think it had been that bad, but the look on David's face said it all.

"Kira's taken beatings plenty of times and not always from us," holy, makes it sound like they beat up on me or something. It mostly consisted of training, real fighting too, not mock fighting and sparring. It was bad, because we were trying to hurt one another and it went on until one of us was unconscious. "We trained ourselves to think past pain, but we didn't start any of that until she was fifteen and that was her idea."

"It was necessary," I cut in, "ease up, she doesn't need the details. It happened, a long time ago, time to let it go."

His eyes flickered from mine to Bella's still shocked ones, "police officers did that to you?"

"Yeah, well it was mostly questions until I got mouthy," honestly? I was just surprised I still had all of my fingers. "Now you why we all hate cops." The rest of the walk was silent.

We happily noted the lack of cameras, going into the darkened theater and taking seats up in the far corner. There were only eight other people here and one set of doors. "When I give the signal, go jam the doors, we'll wait till the end of the movie," I said in a hushed voice to Bella, who nodded, looking a little restless but remained still for the majority of the movie.

Near the big ending scene, I waited for the proper moment before nodding at Bella. As she stood so did David who turned and pointed a gun with a silencer on the end at the man in the projection room. Bella locked in the doors and then returned a moment later to take her seat and watch the show.

**-xxxxx-**

_Good girls do bad things sometimes,_

_But we get by with it_

_When I'm down, I'll let you know,_

_When I'm done, I'll let you go._

**-xxxxx-**

We took the theater slowly, with every loud scene we each took a life, leaving the bodies as they were and making them look as though they were still alive. It wasn't hard, it wasn't dark enough in here and I don't normally look backwards during the best part of the movie. One by one we got to the front row, the entire thing had been eerily silent but it was as thrilling as always. Though I'd felt the need to remain completely silent, like a soundless predator and only in there last few seconds of life was there any sound. We timed it perfectly, so that nothing was heard about a loud moment in the movie. It was amazing perfect.

I gestured for Bella to join us down below and we silently made our way out of the cinema, not even a person in sight as we exited the building. On the way back to the car we shared another joint and chattered quietly about the movie and the big climax, laughing or making stupid jokes. That's what I loved about David, he knew how to make me laugh and have fun. The others enjoyed the kill, but we'd have to think clearly and put our game faces on till everything was cleaned up. With David, well, he knew we'd be careful and that we'd follow procedure, and I could just mellow out with him. Having Bella by my side made everything even more fun. A fourth joint helped too.

When we heard sirens and ambulances we each just shared silent satisfied smiles as we reached the right street.

We got back to the car, each of us changing out of clothing and I felt something tug inside of my gut. I paused, tying the doubled bagged full of all of our bloody clothes and looked around, I couldn't see anyone. I did a 180, and then broke into a grin. Leah was walking up the street, looking more then a little surprised. I dropped the bag into the trunk and closed it, moving towards her. "Hey! What are you doing here?" More importantly, how did she find me?

"I don't know, I felt like you missed me or something and phased in the house, I gave up ignoring it. I ended up a block away without even realizing I was in Seattle," she sounded more then a little freaked out and her eyes reflected it. "I followed your scent and here I am."

I looked her up and down, she was wearing yoga pants and a tank top, "at least your wolf remembered to provide you with some clothing," I stepped forward, pouting a little, "though less is more."

"LAME!" David shouted behind us, having overheard and I just grinned at her, flipping him off without turning around.

"What are you guys doing out here?" she inhaled and I forced myself to keep from tensing as I worried she'd smell the blood. "Other then smoking pot?"

"We were going to steal a boat and go out on the waters, would you like to join us?" Bella asked, holding out the joint for me. I took it appreciatively, taking a long hit and exhaling to the side. Leah watched me eyebrows raised, and I intertwined our hands and handed it to her wordlessly, sensing her want for it.

"Sure, isn't it a little late though?" she asked, giving me a look, "you have school tomorrow."

"There are plenty of things I should do, could do, might do and probably wont do. You know angel, you should always waste time when you don't have any, time doesn't own you and nothing owns me," I said giving her a lop sided grin and she rolled her eyes at me.

"The imprint owns you," she pointed out, an underlying note I couldn't quite put my finger on.

"Ruining the moment," I said chuckling, all of us climbing into the car, this time I got into the back and Bella took the front seat.

David blasted the music, driving us down to the harbor and Leah and I waited while they set up our boat. "So your wolf just brought you out here because I wanted you?" sorry for my skepticism.

Leah looked at me with an unreadable poker face again, but she was hurt. "I could leave," she stood, pushing herself off of the hood of the car and began to move away. I reached out, taking her hand and pulling her back to me and then encircled my legs around her.

Giving her an amused look I said, "your not going anywhere." She stilled looked disappointed and I sighed heavily, "I missed you, happy?"

"You don't have to say it like that," she said looking away, and crossing her arms. I dropped my legs, setting them on the bumper but keeping her between them.

"Like what?" retorted easily, her eyes flickered to mine, "like I don't care? Because I'm pretty sure stating that 'I missed you' establishes that I do, in fact, care."

She glowered at me. "No, you don't need to talk like you hate that you miss me."

"But I do hate it," she glared even more. "It is what it is. I hate that I miss you because I can't have you by my side like this 24/7, and that it's my own fault that it has to be this way. I'm unaccustomed to not getting what I want."

"What do you want?" she asked, "for Christmas I mean."

"Other then you?" she grinned at me and then raised her eyebrows when I shrugged.

"I don't do the Christmas thing, I don't want anything."

"Not a single thing?"

"Not a single thing," I repeated, "don't worry about it Leah, I'm fine with everything I've got, aside from the bullshit going on inside of me, I'm good. Is there anything you wanted?"

I watched her carefully, feeling that yes, she did want something, but was rather uncertain about it. I waited, knowing she was working up the nerve to ask. "Something that only you could give me," I had no idea what that meant, apparently the look on my face warranted laughter because she cast me an amused fond smile. "Don't worry you'll figure it out." Hadn't Bella just said that? What does that even mean? What was this, Riddle Kira Into Confused Oblivion Day?

I was still turning over her words when Bella came running up, "boats ready."

**-xxxxx-**

_How much more can we take,_

_If I give you a taste,_

_I've been waiting for you all night long,_

_I come around and then I'm gone_

**-xxxxx-**

Bella showed us to the end of a darkened pier, "I smell blood," Leah said as we passed a booth, glancing at Bella, who looked far too innocent.

"I knocked out the security guards for the pier, don't worry about them, there not dead," she said shrugging, as if it were nothing.

"Great," Leah said sarcastically, I intertwined our hands, and she relaxed a little more under my touch. It amazed me how at ease she could be with me one minute and then terrified of me the next.

We approached a yacht and not a single light was on but could see a flash light on the deck of the boat. Bella jumped across, landing soundlessly, Leah followed and I jumped onto it last. Bella and I untied the ropes and then it started up. "You guys were supposed to get a sailboat not a yacht," I said as the boat exited it's designated spot.

"Do you know how to operate a sailboat?" David called smugly.

"Your the one that went to law school, that reeks of yacht clubs to me, anybody else?" Bella and Leah just shared bemused looks and went to sit down next to one another.

"I went to law school for a year! I wasn't thrilled with the rich bitches of society."

"David, your practically their president," I glanced at Leah and Bella, "he was raised in yacht clubs."

"I was not!"

"You totally were," I turned back to the girls again, "I remember this one time, a girl named Nicole showed up at the house, apparently she saw him at a local club after he'd moved in with Adrian. She went on and on about all this disgusting gossipy crap, shit like who was getting engaged, who got who pregnant, who got arrested, whose infidelity was juicy dirt, who was hooked on coke. David here was just hanging on every word she said, as if we didn't live half that shit. Half an hour later we find out that her and David dated, it was un-_fucking_-believable. I know he'd been a bit of a prissy bitch when he met the others, but damn."

"Oh cause you were so tough," he said snarkily, turning to the girls too, "Kira here was fucking queen bee, she ran the shit back at her high school, should've seen how bad she was."

"I was nothing like that! He's blowing it way out of proportion! I was hardly the definition of popular," he scoffed at that. I continued, "The girlfriend David was dating when he met Jace said 'like' every two words. Imagine how annoying that would be," as a demonstration with an ugly voice, "Did you _like_, see that new, _like _Rick Gosling movie, it is just so, _like_, awesome!"

He rolled his eyes at me, "It's Ryan Gosling not Rick Gosling! Just goes to show how much of a lesbian you are, doesn't even know a good looking guy when she sees one."

"Someone's harboring a gay crush and i'm bi-sexual, not a lesbian!"

"Says the one whose in love with a bitch, literally," he glanced at Leah, who didn't look the least bit put off, "no offense sweetheart."

"David, the only bitch here is the one with blonde hair and dresses like a justin beiber wannabe kid."

"At least I don't dress like a total dyke, all your missing is a short shitty haircut and lumber jacket." The fuck?

"Of the two of us at least I have a style and I'm the farthest thing from butch."

"You just keep telling yourself that." We glared at one another and a moment later Bella and Leah were laughing hysterically.

"You two sound like an old married couple," Leah said between laughs.

In a dreamy voice I said, "what can I say? He completes me."

David cringed as if he were grossed out and just pulled out another joint, once he had it lit I plucked it from his hands as he reached up to take a hit. I took a hit, looking over at Leah, "come on beautiful."

"No fucking on the roof, we don't need to leave our DNA all over the place!" David called in an all-knowing voice.

I didn't comment, just smiled a little and guided Leah up to the top of the yacht. It was mostly just a small open space that was cushioned. I lifted the cover off, tossing it into the water, "are you guys going to return the boat?" she asked, Beth Crowley's song Warrior cutting through the air.

It was so quiet and dark out here it was almost enough to make me worry we'd be caught. But I didn't worry, I didn't worry about things like getting busted too much. Neither did David. Of all the people to meet Leah first, I was glad it was David, he was always the chill fun one.

"Probably not, if they can afford a boat, I'm not too concerned about their well being," I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her to my body, and she let out a surprised sound. I gave her a devious smile, kissing her hard. I felt my inner hunger burn almost like the coals of a fire, but didn't flare up at all. It was kept in check well. I sucked in a breath, pulling the pot smoke from her lungs and into my own.

I pulled back and exhaled up into the air, before turning back to her glossed over breathless look. "I've been meaning to do that for what feels like forever," I said, giving her another light kiss before I had to pull back, it was a lot for one night and it wasn't over just yet, I needed to pace myself.

"Lay down with me," I whispered, both of us falling to the ground and laying in each others arms.

We laid there silently for a few minutes, only the music breaking the comfortable silence as we passed the joint back and forth. I didn't feel the need to speak, Leah seemed to be lost in her own little world, the only thing that seemed to reach her outside of her mind at the moment was the fact that I was close by. I didn't feel the need to interrupt that, especially since it was taking a while to adjust to being so close to her.

I flicked over the edge of the boat, hearing Bella and David and talking softly as Put the Gun Down by ZZ Ward came on. "Do you know any of the constellations?" she asked softly, lost in thought and yet somehow focused on me. It was weird to feel this part of her, how do you explain being in a whole different place and still sense reality. Kind of like what drawing felt like.

"Um," I stared upwards, "I see Orion, Cassiopeia, and the Big Dipper."

She found this funny, "what do you see?"

"I see them all," she lifted her arm, pointing at several stars Northwest of Orion, "that is Aries the Ram."

She opened her mouth to continue and when she stopped she flushed a little. I turned to give her my full attention. "What's wrong?"

"Sam never really liked hearing about this stuff, I would ask him to sit and watch the stars but he could never stay still for so long, he thought it was boring. If he found me on the roof he'd get mad because he would spend time looking for me and when I told him I'd been there the entire time, he'd look at me like I was nuts," she sounded irritated about this and I couldn't help the rush of jealousy I got. If I wasn't who I was then I would've willingly spent hours listening to Leah and laying with her up on the roof at night, just to be close to her.

I gave her a smirk, "I guess it's a good thing I'm not Sam then huh?" she gave me a wide smile, "tell me more."

"Aries was a golden-fleeced ram that had been sent by Nephele, the cloud nymph to rescue her children, Phrixus and Helle, who were about to be sacrificed to the gods." I didn't bother asking which ones because i doubted if i'd know anything about them in the first place. "The ram carried them across the sea, but Helle lost her grip and fell over the sea, which was later called Hellespont. Upon reaching Colchis," no idea what or where that is either. "The ram shed its golden fleece for Phrixus who hung it in a sacred grove, and flew up to the heavens to take a place amongst the stars as the dimly shining constellation Aries. The golden-fleece, as I'm sure you've guessed is the one that Jason and Argonauts sought for." That part I did know.

I didn't recognize half of those names but the look in Leah's eyes and the waves of peace and happiness that shined from her kept me from asking questions. She glanced at me nervously self conscious and I smiled at her, "tell me another story."

She pointed at another cluster of stars, pretty much in the center of the sky where we were. "Cassiopeia?" I guessed.

"Yep, she was a Queen of Ethiopia, mother of the lovely Andromeda. When she boasted that her daughter was more beautiful than the Nereids, Poseidon sent a sea monster to devour the girl. She was rescued by Perseus, who had slain the beast. As a memorial the whole family were placed amongst the stars, but Cassiopeia because of her pride, was set to hang eternally upside down on her throne."

"Bet if I'd been around during the Golden Age I would be just as prideful, probably piss off a lot of people and start a few wars," I said thoughtfully, nodding as my mind wandered.

"You think the gods were real? I mean, if we exist, why wouldn't they?"

"Maybe their even still around, maybe you guys were even worshipped as gods," I added as my agreement, we pondered that a moment and I tangled my hand with hers. I wanted to be closer to Leah, but it would be hard, but wanting her and not taking her and yet having her within the same breathing space was like looking at the perfect kill and not taking it. Well I suppose it was both, but I still wanted to have her hold and touch me as lovers again, I could tough it out, just to satisfy the part of me that craved her. Besides, I'd already had my share for the day and I felt good about this. Maybe we could even start spending more time together if I killed at a normal rate.

I leaned over, laying my head over her heart. She encircled me in her arms but I could feel how tense and wary she had gotten. The position was painfully dangerous, and even I was rigid at the moment, my breathing and heart rose as I clenched my jaw and squeezed my eyes shut. "Are you okay?" she asked after what felt like hours but could only be seconds.

I felt my darkness seethe and boil in my blood, multiplying with every beat of my heart. It was making my head hurt, I licked my lips, still struggling to control myself. "Talk to me." I wasn't sure hearing her voice would help, but Leah was could both soothe and enrage two different parts of me at once. Maybe her voice would reach the right part of me and it would overpower my more twisted nature.

"Orion was a giant hunter who was set amongst the stars as one of the most well known constellations. Some say he chased Lepus, the hare, across the heavens with his dog, the constellation Canis, others believe that he was in pursuit of Taurus the bull, or even chasing after the seven beautiful Pleiad nymphs. In the story of his death, Orion was either killed by Artemis or by a scorpion sent by Gaea to punish him for boasting that he would slay all the creatures of the earth. The scorpion, called Scorpio, was also placed amongst the stars and continued to plague him, for as it rose in the east, Orion fled beneath the horizon in the west."

She paused, tensing even more when I turned my head and kissed over her heart, I looked up to meet her eyes. I didn't need our connection because I could see it in her eyes, but feeling it was like a punch to the gut. Leah had a way of making me feel like a monster, something I'd never viewed as a negative thing until I'd met her. "I can feel it you know."

She stared at me uncomprehendingly, I turned back to rest my head over her chest, "feel what?"

Sadly, I whispered, "your fear." Her arms tightened around me, almost protectively as my tone registered more then words themselves. She didn't like that I was sad about this. It was all quite fascinating, a paradox even. I scare her because of my nature, which, ironically enough, should've been the other way around considering she's a huge wolf. I get upset about the fear that i instill within her and she becomes protective because I'm upset. Round and round we go.

"I don't mean to be," she said, voice uneven and she kissed the top of my head, bringing a faint smile to my lips. Of all the people in the world, why was it me that she imprinted on? I mean, who decides?

"Tell me another myth."

"You see those stars there," she lifted her arm, pointing in the far right corner. I made a note to look up the location of these stars because I wasn't seeing a pattern, just stars. I nodded anyways, "when Zeus wanted to seduce the goddess Nemesis he transformed himself into a swan, and bade Aphrodite in the guise of an eagle pursue him into her lap. As a memorial of this successful ruse he placed an eagle and swan in the sky as the constellations Cygnus and Aquila."

"You know I have no idea who or what a lot of these people and places are, right?" I turned, leaning on my elbow to give an at ease smile, hoping she'd relax more. She did.

"I know, I just wondered how long it wont take you to comment. Sam would've stopped me to ask what a nephele is," she frowned a little, then her eyes reached mine, "doesn't it bother you? That I bring up Sam?"

"No,"-yes- "Sam has his girl, and I have mine, were both right where we need to be," I said, giving her a soft light kiss. Within moments it had become hungry and devouring, my hands traveled up her shirt and hers reached my belt buckle.

"Kira we-," David cut off, smirking at me as he appeared above us, "time to head back and Bella fell asleep."

I pulled away from Leah and glared at him, "were a little busy."

"I don't care, I've already got people using the radio to call the boat in, we need to get out of here," I let out a slight angry breath, sounding a lot like a growl and stood back up, doing up my belt buckle.

"Fine."

"Don't give me that look, I told you not to fuck on the boat," he said rolling his eyes and disappearing back into the cabin.

**-xxxxx-**

_You get yours, I'll get mine,_

_Then we run out of time,_

_You're the only one that I desire,_

_'Cause I love to play with fire._


	19. When Push Comes To Shove

***This is a very twisted story, my imagination tends to wander and go a little nuts when I write sometimes. But for those wondering, I happen to appreciate happy endings as well. **

_Hide the sun,_

_I will leave your face out of my mind,_

_You should save your eyes,_

_A thousand voices howling in my head_

**-xxxxx-**

_I sat on the ledge of a small grocery store, legs dangling over the edge as the rain pelted against me, pounding in my school almost as much as my blood did. It was like this beautiful melody, entrancing and terrifying all at once. I stared out across the small stretch of concrete, not looking to search out it's end, east nor west, but straight ahead at a small Catholic church._

_A strand of hair was pushed down over my eyes, the rains causing rivers to flood my blood, soaking my clothes, as if they could hold anymore of God's glorious rain. A shiver of anticipation swept through me and a twisted smile broke free at the mention of a God. I suppose their is a God, who knows maybe there several, but, fortunately, I had no God. For if I did, he would've been disgusted with the creation that I was and would've long since struck me down for my sins. _

_Below me, cars passed, one breath to the next, but the world was drenched in darkness as night caressed my world. I was a demon in the night, high above the ground so as not to be seen. Or maybe I am not a demon, but more a dragon. Fleetingly, a child hood poem flitted across my mind. _

If you don't believe in dragons,

It is curiously true,

That the dragons you disparage,

Choose to not believe in you.

_Strange to think of such child related things at a time like this. Perhaps that is what God and I were too each other. I don't believe in God, I used to, but I'd lost faith in him years ago. So maybe, once I'd renounced my god, he had forsaken me as well. All of the time I feel where there is a God, I am the devil, in a form. Is that what we were, he was hope and I was the creature that destroys it? Everything is supposed to have some sort of cosmic balance, was I the balance that equated all of the goodness in the world. But hasn't there always been more evil then good? If I chose to regain my faith, and not to renounce my God, would he shine down on me again? _

_I smirked a little. Never. I was a monster, and I fucking loved it. _

_Moment's like this- when I pondered a God before the sin I was about to commit- were always somewhat fearsome. Perhaps I was crossing some sort of line with this latest sin against God. But were there truly any lines left to cross? I didn't think so. _

_The next few moments can end in millions of ways, but always in my favor. I was sure that some day my luck would run out. But not today. Today, I would play God. _

_I raised my chin to the sky, right as lightning struck, lighting up the sky with a symphony of thundering boulders left in it's wake. I stood up, raising my arms to the sky as the lightning continued, rocking the earth to it's very core. It was a song I would always dance to, much like the screams of my victims, always such deafening and perfection lullabies. _

_With one last crash ripping apart the sky, I lifted my chin once more, raising my eyes and turned away from the plummet that would surely cause my death. As if speaking to God himself I smiled promises of death at him or to the sky, everything and nothing, "I love when the world plays My Song."_

_-x-_

_I entered the chapel, several black clothed woman sat hunched over in different pews of the congregation area. In the pulpit stood a lone deacon holding some sort of instrument with what looked like incense smoking out of it. The doors slammed shut behind me and they all turned to look at me in surprise. The second woman closest to me rushed to my side, and I noted the hum of an organ being played. _

_"Are you alright, oh you must be freezing, come let get's your warmed up, is there anything I can get you?" she said, and when I raised my head she was soon petrified, staring back into fathomless windows into the blackness of what was inside. _

_"Now that you mention it," I said in a sadistically thrilled voice, and I reached forward, shoving my arm through her chest and grasping her bleeding heart. I pulled my arm back, as she collapsed everyone seemed to have frozen. Her body hit the ground in a heap, and I stepped over her, lifting up my arm in front of me and crushed her still beating heart in my hand, I grinned widely as the blood squirted across the right of my face and shirt. Then the screaming began. _

_I tore my way through the nuns, the release barely reaching at it graved something even more pure then the death of God's children, his devout believers, his sheep. I wanted something I could not find, I wanted to destroy something, not purity, but love. I needed to destroy love, or I would lose myself in this sanity. _

_Something crashed behind me and I was moving before I even laid eyes on my witness. As I neared I realized it was a priest and dropped to my knees, head bowed. "What have you done?" sheer horror, no terror, horror-for the innocent blood I'd spilled. _

_I stared not at my hands a moment, noting that I was no longer covered in rain, but a mixture of it as well as the warm thick blood. The perfect combination if you ask me, I always hated that saying, 'blood is thicker then water'. _

_Finally I raised my chin, eyes shining and stared into his still grief stricken ones. I smiled, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."_

_I reached forward, grasping the front of his clothing, pulled slightly and then sent him flying out the back door and into the the waiting storm. I abandoned the murderous scene that lay behind me and found myself standing over Leah, the preacher no where in sight. _

_The concrete had even disappeared and the world spun, dropping us down in front of our home. Sue, my father and Seth's lay on the ground, their blood splashed across me. I could hear my brothers laughing in the background somewhere, hidden within the woods watching the show. _

_"What have you done?" she whispered, staring at the carnage behind me, the right door having remained open due to the wind. _

_"What I was created to do," I said simply. In a swift moment, I'd reached forward and plunged my hand into her chest and ripped out her heart. No sound fell from her lips as she stared at me, slowly falling to the ground soundlessly. _

_I stepped back, staring at blood seeped across the front of her shirt and slowly, the grass beneath her. I found only fascination in her death, and the sweet release of it was like tasting chocolate for the very first time. _

_Tossing her heart from one hand to the next, I smiled twistedly up into the sky, "God here my prayer, and remember, I've never cared."_

**-xxxxx-**

_Speak in tongues,_

_I don't even recognize your face,_

_Riddle on the wall,_

_Tell me all the ways to stay away_

**-xxxxx-**

"NO!" my voice reverberated through the house as I shot up, nearly falling out of my bed in the process. I stared into the darkness, heart pounding as relief flood through me at the familiar sight of my bedroom in La Push. The only light came from the rarely shining sun as the woods took on a nice blue like color in as the world woke up around me.

My bathroom door shot open, my bathroom door, and I whipped a knife at the entryway. My brother in his astonishingly alerted awareness had enough whits about him to catch the blade before it punctured his heart. A beat later my other door opened and I pointed my gun at Leah who looked completely frantic.

"Kira? What's happening?" at the sound of Sue's voice I hid the gun in my lap under the blankets and Caleb hid the knife behind his back. Leah flipped on the light, moving towards me and then hesitating, probably at the wild look in my frantic eyes.

"Nothing, I've had a nightmare, that's all," I said distinctly, more to myself then my onlookers. I fell back on the bed, panting heavily.

"Are you okay?" she asked, passing Leah after tossing her a weird look in her weary state.

"I'm fine," I said, still catching my breath. Now I just wanted to be left alone, as if sensing this, my brother turned to Sue, "can you help me start breakfast?"

Sue glanced back at me, "will you be okay Hun?"

"Of course," I reassured in a calm measured tone, though I doubted I looked anything but. She nodded, throwing Leah one last look before disappearing out the door with my brother trailing behind her. As the door closed my eyes met his concerned ones and I gave him a single nod, I would be just fine. Mostly. Maybe.

Leah sat down on the edge of bed, regarding me thoughtfully, "what was it about?"

"Nothing of importance," I said rubbing my face tiredly, any of the sleep I had endured had been stripped of me. This was new, to get a nightmare of Leah. It had shaken me to my core. I couldn't even look at her. All I could see were eyes as she juggled Leah's heart in her hands. Were her words true? Had I killed Leah just for knowing me? I refused to believe that my dream, or rather nightmare, would prove just how bad things are. I could get through this without losing Leah. And yet, a doubt in me had been birthed.

"Your lying," she said quietly, reaching for my hand and I flinched away instinctively.

Hurt flashed in her eyes, we both rushed to apologize and then smiled faintly at each other. "Tell me."

I held her warm loving eyes and gave her my usual half twisted half invited mischievous smirk, "Not in a million years."

**-xxxxx-**

I laid in my bed Saturday night staring at the ceiling contemplating this whole gift giving thing. My brothers and I had a different sort of celebration and gift giving part of Christmas. Though it was News Years that we did this. Back home we'd hit up a small gathering of wealthier civilians and basically take anything we saw that we liked. I wonder if we'd do that this year, I hoped so. That was my favorite part of Christmas. Afterwards we would go out and get completely and utterly fucked up.

"Something personal," I said to myself, still staring at the ceiling, "something only I can give." I was still drawing a blank. I sat up, gazing around the room and my fell on the sketchbook laying on the top of my dresser.

I stood up, crossing the room and lifting it up thoughtfully. I flipped it open, nothing on the first page, the second page was a sketch of a bar, David leaning over a pool table to make his move, on the opposite side stood Caleb, his own pool stick held behind his head in a leisurely way, hands on both ends. I smiled faintly, seeing Jace on the other side of the booth, I wasn't drawn in, it was an image of my perspective, but Jace was talking quietly to Brandon, who you could just barely see, a ring on his index finger with an infinity symbol inside of it. Adrian stood behind the bar with his cell phone pressed to his ear, as always, his back to the rest of us.

The only color in the scene was red, bits of red splattered across all of us and a pool of it sliding out from on the pool table, where a body lay. There were two more bodies, one in a booth and one in the middle of the room. There was one in the bathroom, another one behind the bar, that couldn't be seen, and their blood was smeared across the floors and walls as well. There was even some blood on the corner of the page, it hadn't dried when I'd begun the drawing and I remember how I'd rolled my eyes when I realized that. That had been about six months ago.

I flipped through the pages, about a dozen or so kill scenes, there was one of a club where we'd been at. Several of the way San Francisco looked at night, the water, with the boats coming in. Then they turned into scenes and images of La Push and the surrounding area, but half of them were of Leah, until every two pictures of Leah another one of the area appeared. It hadn't occurred to me that my sketch book had mostly become all about Leah, all kinds of images and different backgrounds, some in her human form and others in her wolf form.

"Well that's pathetic," I muttered, nose scrunching up a bit at this realization. Though I suppose this is what everyone's been getting at. That or Leah was going to be severely disappointed at Christmas time.

I counted the last pages I had left, four. I'd need a new sketchbook soon, I turned over, grabbing the box full of pencils and brushes. I'd need a new everything soon, I had one good pencil left. Maybe I should go look for a decent art store later.

I sat with my back to the wall and began drawing. I had a general idea of what I was going to do with the drawing, it was rather over the top, but everything I did was a tad wild and extreme.

**-xxxxx-**

_Dig a hole,_

_Fireworks exploding in my hands,_

_If I could paint the sky,_

_All the stars would shine upon in red_

**-xxxxx-**

"What are you doing?" Adrian's all too familiar voice said as he entered the room. I flipped the sketchbook closed, raising my eyebrows at him.

"What's going on?" I asked curiously.

"Got a decent lead, feel like going out for a drink with me and the boys?" Finally some fucking action, I was in desperate need of a good fight too.

"Sure, I'm in," I frowned, wondering if Bella was joining us, "Jace and David already picked her up. You on the other hand, wouldn't answer your phone."

"Correction, my phone is on silent and-," I paused, searching the room for it, "and missing apparently."

"You didn't leave it on the boat last night did you?" I turned, glancing at his slightly hurt expression. "I can't believe you let David meet her first."

"She showed up out of nowhere Adrian, and David doesn't act like he's always on business when we hang out," he shrugged and I turned to my closet, taking out a burgundy blouse and some skinny jeans.

"On the subject of your girlfriend," he said curiously enough that I glanced back at him. "How has she been with all of this?"

"All of what?" I asked confused. Where was he going with this?

"Does she understand? Who you are, who we are and what we do?" I couldn't quite decipher what it was he was getting at so I remained silent, turning to my mirror and putting my hair up in a loose clip. "I get it you know."

"Get what?" I asked uncomfortable with this conversation, grabbing both of my guns.

"Being in love." And why the fuck were we talking about feelings?

"Yeah, well, everyone has a first love," I put on some mascara and eyeliner, sensing Leah pass by the house and continue on. She was going towards Emily's, which reminded me, I needed to go stop in and visit her. I'd need to keep Leah away from the house Christmas eve, I figured Emily could help me out there.

"Did you know that I was in love with a girl, when I made my change?" that caught me off guard. I didn't think any of us had ever really been in love before. Not unless you count being in love with ourselves.

"Really? You never told us that," I said accusingly. There wasn't a lot we kept from each other, until lately we'd been as thick as thieves. I suppose I was to blame for that.

"Yeah, her name was Claire," I watched him closely, noting the unveiled pain in his eyes. "She was my best friend, along with a boy named Tyler. Shortly before I came across the book I asked Claire out, amazingly enough she agreed," _ah_, so he'd been friend zoned before then. Interesting. "For the first few weeks it was great, then that book just fell into my lap, like magic," he chuckled humorlessly and for the first time I saw remorse in his eyes. "I remember the way her eyes lit up when I walked in the room, she had this smile and it seemed to be reserved only for me."

"Then you started changing," I said, filling in the blanks, yeah, I could imagine this ending badly along with my own little fairy tale. I moved towards him, sitting down next to him so close that our bodies touched. But he wasn't looking at me, he was looking out the window lost in his own memories.

"I became this thing that even I couldn't recognize anymore, just so aggressive, so much colder, I started fights and I always won, did drugs and partied all night, got into car accidents, got arrested. Everything just spiraled so fast that no one really got a hold of it before it all just slipped through the cracks, and I hadn't even taken my first kill," and now I saw the loneliness, Adrian must've felt so alone until Jace came along. I also got the feeling the end of this story was not a happy one.

"I know," I said quietly, and he looked at me quickly, not so surprised, but relieved to finally have one of us to confide in. He hadn't breathed a word of this to anyone before, until now. I understood why, we were all young, there was no way we'd understand love, especially after the changes or even just the first remnants of what we were to become. Love became a lost emotion us, much like pity or guilt, fear and hope. Unless of course it was direcly linked to each other. Now after all this time he was telling someone, because I loved Leah. And I was still royally fucked either way.

It was hard enough admitting a lot of this to myself and my gaze fell to the floor. I thought about how to word this, how to piece it together that would come out wrong or off somehow. "For the first time in a long time, I feel alone," I hadn't felt this alone since I'd been trapped in that car with my mom.

"At least before during my transformation, I had all of you by my side," my eyebrows furrowed, as if I couldn't see where it all went wrong, but it was blatantly obvious what the problem was. "Once I'd met Leah everything changed, and suddenly I became a whole different entity, a different _species_, from everyone around me."

I paused agan, thinking over my words as I chose them, "we've never been human, not really, we lost our humanity and it will always be just out of reach for us. _Always_. I am no longer Random, and I never can be, how could a person go back and feel the remorse for all those stolen lives? I wouldn't even choose such a thing," this part came a little easier. "I am no longer good, but I'm not even sure if I'm truly dark anymore. Before I could fade anyway into blessed blackened oblivion, but Leah holds me back," no bitterness or resentment, it was a simple fact, like saying water is wet. My forehead creased again, my eyes still staring at the ground as if it somehow held all the answers.

"I'm lost and that kind of scares me sometimes, knowing I'll never have any limits or barriers and yet having someone I love vulnerable to my wrath, it changes things. For the very first time, I scare myself."

"So you figured out what I did?" he asked quietly, guilt in his voice. Of course I knew, it wasn't even a question to me.

I looked up, meeting his grief filled eyes with my own certain ones, "you killed her."

He sucked in a sharp breath, anguish etching his features and he nodded. "I've never said it out loud before, but yeah. I'd finished the book and I decided not to go through with it, that I couldn't do it. So I went to Claire's to surprise her, to tell her that I would change and be the man she wanted me to be, the man I wanted to be. She was in bed with Tyler," I felt a ripple of rage go through us both at that. "When I saw them together all I could think was how adorable she looked when she was flushed. But then this other thought crept into my mind and I was suddenly a different person, a part of me burned away in that moment. Then this overpowering need to exact vengeance on their betrayal came along. I thought to myself; how amazing she would look covered in blood with tears rolling down her cheeks."

I tried not to smirk, he sounded so wistful, we all must sound like that when we discuss such a thing. "Sounds about right," I said after a thought moment, imaging a younger version of my brother about to commit this act, "so that was what made you break for the very first time, their infidelity."

"That's what made me see Red for the very first time. Claire was so beautiful, she looked so much like you, you know," I raised my eyebrows, mildly surprised. He glanced at my bewildered expression and laughed softly. "The dark wavy hair-not necessarily the color, yours is red in the sun and hers is brown. There's your skin tone, the way your eyes glow. But most of all it's your voice, sometimes I think your her, but yours is just a touch cooler, and you can always tell there's something hidden beneath it. Guess it all makes sense now huh? Why we never see eye to eye."

"Because your holding a grudge against your dead ex that I happen to bore a resemblance to?" I asked bemused. He nodded, "so why do you want to kill Leah so badly then?"

He gave me a sidelong glance, "Isn't it obvious? Your going to snap eventually and when you do there will be nowhere in the world that girl could hide. You can't keep denying your true nature forever, it's already put a strain on you that all of us can see as clearly as day. I'd prefer if you let us do away with her before you drive yourself mad." Very gently he added, "there are only so many ways this can play out, I'm sorry beautiful." I so was not about to have this conversation again and there was no around to referee if it came to blows.

"You shouldn't underestimate me Adrian, I'm stronger then you all give me credit for," I stood up, moving towards the window as I felt Leah draw near again, and felt her change back just beyond the tree line. Once again, I found myself wondering if she could feel me too. As if on cue she looked up, smiling widely and eyes shining as hers me my own smirking ones.

I turned to my brother, "I wont kill Leah and I wont go insane proving it," he opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off before a word was uttered, "and if it's _not_ that simple, I'll make it simple."

**-xxxxx-**

**Leah POV**

I entered the house, seeing Kira and unfamiliar man come down the steps. "Where you headed?" I asked suspiciously, not liking how close they were standing. Was this another one of her 'brothers' or another 'Hailey', Jesus did I ever hate that girl.

I came across her and some of her friends in town earlier today only for Hailey to glare at me hatefully. Kira hadn't mentioned what went down between the two of them, but I assumed it didn't go well considering how much Hailey seemed to despite me. Guess the cats out of the bag on us. I wonder if she'd say anything. That's all I needed, more town gossip, as if everything going on wasn't stressful enough.

"Out for a drink, Leah, this is Adrian, one of my many brothers," Kira said in a slightly clipped tone, eyes on 'Adrian' as if waiting for him to pounce. I briefly wondered why she was so worried about Adrian, while she hadn't been the slightest bit concerned when David was around.

"Not that many, it's a pleasure to finally meet your acquaintance, Kira's told us so much," he said casting an amused glance at Kira, who was now giving him a warning look, holding out his hand for me to shake. I stared at it uncertainly, acutely aware of the fast that there was clearly a reason she didn't want me anywhere near him. When I didn't take his hand it dropped to his side and he gave me a slightly unimpressed look, though Kira was smirking now. He didn't like that much, "why don't you join us Leah? The others are just _dying_ to meet you. Oh yeah, that's right, you've already met David."

"No," Kira said instantly, giving him a dark look.

I frowned a little, feeling Adrian's intense stare on me, pressuring me to say yes, but I wasn't looking at him. Kira's been shielding me from this part of her life the entire time I've known her. I even got the feeling there was still plenty I didn't know, who knows, maybe they were satanists. But Kira couldn't protect me forever and I most certainly wouldn't let her keep me in the dark about everything for the rest of our lives. This was my opportunity to find out more. "Sure."

Kira rounded on me in disbelief and anger, "Leah, I said no!"

"You can't tell me what I can and can't do," I said simply, turning to Adrian, "so where we going?"

The car ride was very tense and quite awkward, I was already regretting this decision. I could tell Kira was reaching for something mentally, probably an idea to get me to leave. "So Leah, what are your future plans? College? University? Anything? Marriage or children maybe?"

"Real mature Adrian," Kira shot coldly, glancing at me, "ignore him, he's an ass."

"It's okay, I'm used to assholes who think their top shit," I said smirking, "and I live with you and your brother don't I?"

She chuckled, "touche."

I stared at Adrian, sizing him up a little. He looked to be around my age, but his eyes looked much older then twenty three. Then again, so did mine. Everyone had a story and I couldn't help but wonder what his was. He was definitely good looking, and far too serious, probably has the same sick sense of humor Kira does, but he looked far more controlled then Kira and Caleb. So he'd been like this far longer then they had been, so what exactly did that mean? Were the others older or younger? Was he more dangerous to me then Kira? Somehow I doubted that.

**-xxxxx-**

**Kira POV**

We pulled up to a bar in Port Angelus, Bella and Brandon waiting outside sharing a joint. Adrian went straight inside, as they both laid eyes on Leah and shared looks and then turned to my grave expression, "Adrian?" Bella guessed.

I nodded, "Adrian."

Bella passed me the joint, nodding in greeting to Leah, who looked at ease, but I could feel how far from relaxed she was. I intertwined our hands, pleased when she relaxed under the touch and took a hit from the joint.

"Good to see you again Leah," Brandon said formally, giving her a tight smile. Brandon and Leah had come across each other once or twice, but they'd shared less then a handle of words together, and most of which were just exchanging names and greetings.

"Brandon," she said giving him a quick smile. I passed her the joint, hoping it would relax her a bit more.

"That's where all my watermelon kush went," David said strolling out of the building and coming straight for us. "Hey sweetheart," David said giving Leah a charming smile.

"Stop calling me that," Leah said rolling her eyes as she passed the joint over to him. She glanced at me in question, wondering if I was ready to go in. I nodded once, taking her inside to meet Jace was inevitable.

Of everyone, Jace, Caleb, and Adrian were the ones that wanted to kill Leah. At first David had been all for it, but after spending some time with her he'd made it clear he was going to back off. Caleb nor Brandon would ever hurt Leah without my say so, much to my relief, but Jace and Adrian would always be wild cards. They tended to do what they thought was best, and they made it clear what they thought was for the better, so for the moment everyone was at odd's with one another.

I glanced at the others and they all nodded, they had my backs and I turned back as Leah tugged me into the building.

Leah and I ordered drinks, before going and sitting together at a booth. It wasn't long before Jace and David came to join us. "Leah, right?" he asked a barely concealed rage in his eyes that Leah saw through instantly. She narrowed her eyes at him, and I tightened my grip on her hand, telling her to relax. She didn't.

"Yeah, that's right," voice guarded, Jace seemed to find that funny seeing as he gave her a dark smirk.

"Heard _so_ much about you," I narrowed my eyes, already resisting the urge to reach over and punch him, or even kick him in the crotch under the table. He continued talking. He really shouldn't have. "Apparently breaking you two up is the same thing as cutting out Kira's heart, how strange, seeing as she's ripped out so many on her own. You'd think a little heartbreak wouldn't be nearly so challenging. After all this isn't much you could offer her."

Leah reached over and struck out hard, sending his head snapping back into the wooden seat. Well that escalated quickly, he gave her a furious stare, standing and Leah did the same. David and I shared looks, before I grabbed Leah's waist and pulled her down roughly. David grasped Jace's forearm, pulling him away from the table, "come on, let's go switch with Brandon and Bella."

I couldn't help the proud smirk I got, we could be intimidating and where Leah was indeed intimidated, she wouldn't back down. I glanced at Leah who was glaring at his back, finally she turned to me, "your brothers are pigs."

I laughed, nodding in agreement, "I know. They aren't pleased that I've gotten so attached to a Random."

"Do they know? About what Caleb and me are?" she asked, shifting in her seat to give me a hard look. She wanted me to say 'no' and I could feel a storm brewing just under the surface.

"Yeah, they do, we don't keep secrets Leah," I said honestly, sipping my beer.

"So they know your my imprint?" my silence was answer enough, I knew Leah wasn't comfortable with people knowing. I'd already accidently given it away to Seth and she didn't even know about that. "I can't believe you told them."

"I didn't have a choice Leah, once I saw Red and attacked you their logical solution was to kill you, they also didn't think you'd keep quiet, so Caleb told them about what he was and said that you already understood why secrecy was so important sometimes. They still wanted to kill you, I had to tell them why they couldn't. Besides, Caleb and I couldn't have kept it from them for long, there quite perceptive and they can sniff out if one of us has a secret fasted then you can say the word." Not entirely true, they hadn't figured me out right away.

She stared at me, eyes angry and slightly hurt, "why didn't you tell me that?"

"Because I know how much you want everyone kept in the dark about us. It's not exactly like were your run of the mill werewolf imprints on human situation. _And_ neither of our parents even know were gay," I said slightly exasperated, "or have you forgotten the fact that your mother is married to my father?"

"You should've told me, your _always_ keeping secrets from me."

I got that feeling again, that one where I wanted to go outside and bang my head against a wall over this pointless running around in circles argument. "Leah there are plenty of things I should tell you and don't."

"Your not helping your case."

"Just stating facts, look-," Adrian dropped down in front of us at the most inopportune moment. I tilted my head at him, a clear expression to get lost.

"You two aren't fighting are you? Careful Leah, this one's a ticking time bomb, don't want to be too close when she goes off, might just kill you."

"Fuck off Adrian," Leah said coldly. Our cell phones rang, I looked down, checking the message. It was Jace, they'd seen two of Gabriel's guys show up, and that they'd been spotted and were following them. I contemplated the consequences of what I was about to do and thought more along the lines of 'fuck that', she isn't coming.

I stood up,"I need to leave and you need to go home."

"What? Where are you going?" she asked confused, she looked around the bar suddenly suspicious before moving her eyes back to mine. "What are you here for?"

"We just need to leave for a few minutes, business, I'll see you at home," we exited the building, going towards the car. Adrian spoke quickly into his phone, having called both Bella and Brandon, who were about thirty seconds ahead of us.

"I'm not just going home if your in danger! What the fuck is going on?" Leah's furious voice cut through the air.

I turned back to her, frustrated, this s why I didn't want to bring her. "Your not nearly as trained as us and although your faster, stronger and have better senses then us, you wont understand what's happening or how my world works. Go home."

"No," she said stubbornly, resolve in her eyes.

I gave her a furious look, "if you dont go home I will cuff you to the building!"

"What the fuck is wrong with you Kira? I'm just not going to leave just because you tell me to!"

Hoping she'd respond to a more gentle tone I said, "Leah, I dont want you getting in the middle of this. Just let me deal with this."

"Why? Why do you have to do everything alone?"

"Just give me this one thing, please!" suddenly I wasn't sure what I asking for and I dont think Leah knew what we were arguing about either.

"I'm supposed to be here to help you Kira, to take care of you and stand at your side when you need me," she sad shaking her head in frustration. "And you can hadly stand to be around me."

"That has nothing to do with you! It's not your fault!" I protested instantly. I took a deep breath, calming down the churning inside of me. Then I was back, no longer the simple Kira but the cold hearted one. In a slightly dismissive voice, "I just need some time, everything will go back to normal eventually."

"No it wont," I raised my eyebrows, noting the angry turn she'd gotten all over again. "You dont even talk to me like you did before. I hate to say it Kira, but you sound like a smug cold hearted bitch now, at least before you cared about me." And here I'd thought I'd gotten better at hiding that. Apparently not, or at least not to her.

I couldn't help my next comment before it even fell from my lips, smirking as I realized I probably wouldn't stop the words either, "Your kind of temperamental aren't you?"

"See? That right there! You wont even deny that your different now!" and we'd been doing so well the last few days.

How could I make her understand this? "Because I am different, different to you, but the only change is that I can't go back to the fake side of me that you want so badly. I told you a long time ago that you didn't know the real me, and this is it. Sorry to disappoint."

With a bitterness added to her voice she said, "I want my girlfriend back, not this person, because _you aren't her_!"

"This person, the one your talking to, is always going to be inside of me, it is me and you imprinted on me remember? That means _all_ of me, this part of me included. The girl you've spent the last few months getting to know isn't real, not really."

"No, I imprinted on the sarcastic, sweet sixteen year old girl that slipped me her muffin when everyone was wrestling for them in a kitchen, a girl who spent time purposely trying to make me smile rather then cause me pain by asking why I was broken. Not this girl, not a psychotic killer, and I want her back!"

Why wasn't she getting this? "She's gone Leah, she's never coming back! The girl you want is a fabrication I created to keep Random's like _you _from freaking out when they saw the real me, to keep myself hidden, a facade, a ruse. I'm sorry," I said getting exasperated now.

"You said it yourself, that other side of you, _the real _Kira," oh my god, this discussion was making me want to bang my head against a wall, "would come back when you killed the right person. So, just kill me, or _almost_ kill me or something."

I stared at her, unsure if she was joking or not. She wasn't. I blew up my voice raising as rage swept through me, "_have you lost your goddamn fucking mind?"_

"Kira!" Adrian's voice cut in, grabbing me roughly and turning me to him with a furious stare, "we dont have time for this." Then to Leah, he gave her a dark stare, "go home, your unwanted here."

With one last icy stare at me she turned and by the time she hit the woods she was a huge silver wolf. I turned to Adrian and he nodded at me once and I let my eyes spark to life at the realization that I get to make a kill in just moment. What perfect timing.

**-xxxxx-**

_And stay (I'm hearing voices all the time up in my mind)_

_Away (I'm hearing voices and they're hunting my mind)_

_Black out days_

_I don't recognize you anymore_

**-xxxxx-**


	20. Wolf's Outta The Bag Now

_They tellin' me it's all good just wait, you know you're gonna be there someday, _

_Sippin' on Jim Beam ok, gotta get these things one day, _

_Till then do another line, you know, searching for that other high, _

_Stop or I gotta steal-then steal, kill or I'm gonna be killed, _

_I got a sack in my pocket, conscious yellin' drop it, _

_You know we're gonna lose it someday, _

_And we tryin' to hold it all together but the devil is too clever so, _

_I'm gonna die, you gonna die, we gonna die someday, one day I said _

**-xxxxx-**

We got back into the car, and I dialed David, and then everyone else, syncing up the phone calls. We didn't bother with pleasantries. "They met up with three other guys in a park on the south side of Llewellyn Avenue, were following them on foot. But there in the middle of Port Angelus now and we think there going to split up," Jace warned. Which means witnesses, we'd need to be subtle for this.

"Alright, divide and conquer," Adrian ordered, "everyone keep your phones on you and stay in pairs."

We arrived about two minutes later, the drive short and tense, I knew Adrian wouldn't ask about my feelings, why would he? We tend to avoid talking about emotions. Thinking about the lack of actual warm human feelings is one thing, discussing it openly left a door for older more Random feelings to slither in and trap us. We didn't like that prospect much, and I was living proof that emotions were to be avoided.

We pulled up to a small curb outside of the park and David came running up towards us with Bella before we'd even got out of the car. "Two split off about two minutes ago, David and Brandon are tracking one of them now," David explained. "The others went South."

"Wait, where's Caleb?" I asked suddenly, realizing my brother was nowhere in sight. I grabbed my cell phone everyone waiting as they too realized one of our brothers were missing.

"Caleb was the one that called us first and said he'd found some of them, he was down the street from the bar, they ran as soon as they saw him," David said as soon as I shook my head at them when I got no answer.

"Did he say how many people he saw?" Adrian asked.

"Just two, maybe there were more then he expected," Bella said next.

"If there was he probably shifted, in that case his phone and clothes will be trashed. Regardless of whether or not he's hurt two still got away. Which also means he may have been exposed as one of the wolves. If you find one don't kill them, we have no idea where he is or what's happened since they escaped," I said my mind changing patterns to a more logical setting.

Whenever there were unknown variables involved we all tended to think rationally rather then in a more blood thirsty matter, especially when other people were involved. We needed to know whether or not Gabriel knew that Caleb was a wolf.

"Agreed. I'll take Bella and go Northeast," Adrian said. _Right_, like I was going to leave Bella alone with him. She'd end up dead, either because he'd kill her and blame them or let her get killed. We still had no idea how many people were here, we didn't think it was this many.

"Not a chance, Bella's coming with me, you go Northeast with David," I took Bella's hand before he could argue and began running. We moved to the end of the block and started climbing up the wall of a fire department. When we got to the roof I took one of my guns, passing it to her.

"You still haven't taught me how to use a gun properly," she pointed as we began moving across the roof.

I glanced at her when we got to the ledge, jumping the expanse and she followed without hesitation, landing effortlessly. "Don't worry, using a weapon comes as naturally as killing," she rolled her eyes at me.

"Murder isn't suppose to come naturally. It's killing something innocent, something that doesn't deserve to die." Were we seriously having a discussion about morals _now_?

"Everything and everyone dies eventually," I said easily, moving across that end and then pausing and looking out over the street.

"How do you even know what they look like?" she asked frowning. We moved across another roof stealthily and I was glad we had nightfall to keep up hidden. Then something occurred to me. They knew what we were capable of, everyone back home did, I imagine they'd be looking for us up on the roof tops. Either way we'd still have the advantage up here.

"Intuition," she gave me another sidelong glance, trying to tell if I was joking or not. "I'm serious, but there are a few other ways. They'll be looking for us, so it'll feel like their on the look out for something, like their waiting for something. When they see us, even if they try to act casual, we'll feel how nervous or determined they are. When your like us, you tend to notice people more, it wont be hard to see what their feeling and thinking." She thought about that moment, as if going through her memory to see if that had happened. Apparently it had because she got a pleased look on her face.

"That would come in handy, are you going to kill them?" I cast a quick glance at her, before moving to the next building. Bella seemed to be handling the chase pretty well but I got the feeling she was distracting herself. I briefly wondered why.

"Are _we_ going to kill them?" I corrected, "no, they need to be interrogated. When we find them we need to tail them, last time none of them had anything to give us any leads."

"You don't need mean torture do you?" she asked clearly disapproving, though she didn't look horrified with the idea.

"That's exactly what I mean," I sighed heavily, turning to her. "Look Bella, these people are trying to kill me, and despite the causalities it's still going to come down to one thing, it's us or them. I'll choose us every single time. I couldn't care less about their families or their girlfriends or wives or friends or whatever Randoms they care about. They chose to be mercenaries and they chose this job for the money, especially knowing our body count and how lethal we were. I couldn't care less about them, I cannot stand when people fuck with me and neither can the others. Soon you'll be the same way."

She remained silent after that, whether or not I upset her didn't come up. After ten minutes of searching I texted the others telling them I hadn't found them but got no response, so I assumed they were taking care of theirs.

It had even started pouring out and I was soaked within minutes. "We should check the abandoned houses, there are a lot on this side of town," Bella suggested when she saw how frustrated I was getting.

"I didn't know Port Angelus had any abandoned houses," I said recalling some of the older buildings like the one she'd been brought to but that seemed to be it. Walking off the ledge of the building and landing over a closed metal garbage bin in a crouch. She followed, both of us landing with a resounding smashing sound.

"There was a lot more rain then usual this year, during a week long downpour three blocks were completely flooded. There still falling apart and the city hasn't commissioned a clean up yet, so a lot of the houses are still flooded in the basements," she explained and I nodded appreciatively. "Were actually pretty close now."

I texted the others, telling them to head our way and that we'd check out some of the abandoned buildings and left out the details. We were walking from one backyard to the next before stopping in the center of the three blocks she had been speaking about.

"Come here," I said as she appeared at my side. I knelt down low, both of us inspecting the street. "What do you feel?" I asked her lowly, not taking my eyes off of the houses. I didn't think anyone was in any of them, but I wondered if she would know that.

"These houses feel empty, but I _feel_ like were on the right side of the street," she said in a hushed voice several seconds later.

"Good, any idea on what direction?" she stood up straight, closing her eyes. I watched her closely, but she gave no indication of what she was sensing until she opened her eyes again. She turned to me, "we go left."

We moved in the opposite direction we'd come in and I climbed up onto the roof of the house. It would be quieter and if someone were in the house, they wouldn't hear us, being on the street we could've already been seen already. We jumped two houses before I stopped over one of the last two.

I heard a creaking sound behind me and what sounded like quiet whispering. I nodded at Bella before going towards the chimney. "Your going to get all dirty," she said in a hushed tone.

I rolled my eyes, "were soaked, what difference does it make?" I climbed onto the opening and then pulled out my gun and let my body slide in. I kept my weapon out and aimed straight at the family room, but I didn't see anyone. I'd just heard voices from this room, how was it possible that they could be gone? It's not like they could've heard me, I'm far too agile for that. Even if they had heard me come down the chimney, how had they moved so quickly?

Bella dropped down behind me with a slight thud and I glanced back at her. "Split up, search the house, if it moves; shoot it." I left the room, going upstairs silently. I got to the dining room and found a bunch of random stuff for camping and what looked like maps and plenty of pictures. Most were of me, others of Caleb and Brandon, and there were several of Leah and Bella. I cleared that room before, crossing the hall to another room, the living room.

It couldn't have looked more deserted, the rest of the house had garbage, mostly empty cans and what not, but this room appeared untouched. "It's empty," Bella said as she appeared at the other doorway.

"Don't go in-," something shoved me from behind and I sent sprawling into the middle of the room. The carpet didn't stay a second before I fell through a Kira sized hole and into the basement. It was pitch dark down here and I hit the ground, coughing up the disgusting drain water as I did so. I stood up, the water turning out to be higher then my knees and continued retching at the disturbing taste in my mouth. I looked up hearing, several gun shots and then the sounds of something heavy hit the ground.

It had been rather dark already and the rain clouds completely blacked out this block. It didn't help that there were no street lights so there was barely any light coming from the hole I'd fallen through. There's no way I'd find a door down here, this was clearly a trap, so if they'd been thorough the door would be cemented over or something.

I heard a multiple hissing sound and froze, eyes going wide as I realized what that was. Snakes, probably water snakes. Now, I've never been afraid of snakes, but I couldn't hear how many let alone where or what they were. I dropped down, searching for my gun and couldn't find it.

I pulled out my blade and then looked back up at the hole and dissolved my center of gravity before jumping. The water made the jump sloppy and my clothes were heavy from all of the thick grimy water so I missed by half a foot. I dropped in my usual crouch and slipped, falling flat on my ass and something bit my right cheek hard.

I let out a surprised curse, before gripping something on my cheek and ripping it off, then whipped into the darkness. Something bit my leg and I stumbled up and ripped that snake off as well. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" I cleared my mind, ignoring the fact that two more animals had sunken their teeth into me and then my eyes shot open and I shot forward.

I gripped the edge of the hole, the center of my palm getting slashed open by an unseen broke pipe as I did so. I kept hold with one arm, before grasping the snake attached to my left hip and then the one biting over my right breast and pulled them both out. I pulled myself over the edge and looked over to see one dead body and complete silence.

I knew better then to call out any names so I stood unsteadily before making my way into the hallway. Bella stood over a body, her hands, face and shirt were covered in blood. At her feet laid a disfigured body, he was completely unidentifiable now. "Bella?" I asked tentatively.

Her head shot up to me and I saw a sort of wild animalistic look in her eyes as she assessed and then relaxed almost instantly. Though the lethal stare in her eyes said it all. "You okay?" I asked her as she watched me in an almost fascinated sort of way. The way a mother and father look at their newborn child. The way scuba divers see the ocean, or how an artist sees the sunset. The way Leah watches the stars or the way I used to watch Leah.

She was in awe, "I feel weird," she said finally, her voice and tone sounding calm and calculated. She tilted her head thoughtfully, "I feel much better now though, like I needed him." Neither of us felt the need to verbalize how she needed him, considering she'd completely broken him.

She looked down at her hands and shrugged a moment later, wiping them on her jeans and then pulled off her coat and used the inside to wipe off her face. The door burst open and I spun, holding my butterfly blade out as I stared at our latest attackers.

I'd never seen them before, but it wasn't hard to figure out who they were based on their not so subtle cloaks. "Felix, Demetri, what an unwanted surprise," Bella said unimpressed and took my side.

"We've been following you since you go to Port Angelus, thanks to your mutt the Cullen's cant see you," one of them said smirking. I used the extra time to dissolve my gravity again and I knew Bella would be doing the same. Things that came so easily once you'd had your first kill and I could just imagine how strong Bella must feel right now.

"Great, I don't have to worry about them blubbering when I tear you apart," I said cheerfully.

"If you just join us, this will be so much less," Felix searched for a good word to use, "painful."

"For you maybe, cause I happen to rather enjoy inflicting pain," I said launching myself at Felix so quickly it took him by surprise.

We went flying through the door and into the yard, and in the tumble he'd managed to get a shot a my ribs, and I knew we could both here the crack of one of them. I hit him hard, ignoring the fact that it totally fucked up my knuckles and he jumped on top of me and hit me a second time.

We rolled and when pain laced my chest I lost my chance to gain the upper hand. He threw his fist at me, but he didn't seem well trained, as he went to hit me I bucked my hips and sent him tumbled over me. I jumped back up, pulling my coat off quickly and he launched himself at me during the distraction. As he neared, I wrapped it around his head and then I twisted it and he lost his grounding, spinning in the air and then collapsing to the ground in a daze.

I turned back, rushing inside and then heard a loud growl rip through the air. It was Caleb, I would know instinctively if it were Leah. I didn't look back but I could heard what sounded like a scuffle and just continued to go inside.

Demetri had Bella by the throat, I threw myself at him and we went through a decaying wall and into the dining room. We hit the table, breaking it into the polices and I rolled onto my side. I heard a swoosh sound too close for my liking and rolled quickly as his foot came down over my previous spot.

Then I grinned up at him, "hello brother," he spun, only for Caleb to reach out and rip his head off before he could even get a good look at his enraged expression. Demetri's body tumbled to the ground and my brother held out his hand for me, tossing the head over his shoulder as I accepted.

"Glad you to took your human form," I said appreciatively, we didn't need to answer to the pack right now. He looked me over frowning deeply and raised his eyebrows when he saw the weird holes on my face. "Don't ask."

"Are you-?" Brandon appeared in the door way and let out a relieved breath. He was bleeding from the head and looked pale but was otherwise fine. The others entered the room, Adrian and David carrying in Felix's shredded remains. Bella just leaned against the wall watching us with thoughtful eyes.

"Bella broke?" Jace asked, noticing her eyes on him.

"Yeah, the guy in the front," he raised his eyebrows, and then gave an impressed nod. "Good work, doubt if they'd even be able to match dental records on him."

"It's not that bad," she said, but smiled despite herself. Normally Adrian would be all over this, but we had other things to attend to at the moment.

"What do we do with them?" Adrian said, observing the cracked skin that was still healing.

"We burn them, burn the whole place down, by the time the fires out there wont be any remains left," Caleb said easily, and we began searching for gasoline. Mercenaries tend to keep it handy in case they need to destroy the evidence right away.

"Found it!" Adrian called. I went back through the hallway, both Brandon and David standing over the man Bella had killed, both had appraising looks on their faces.

I stopped to inspect the body beside them, "I didn't even know there was anyone else, she must've shattered his jaw or his vocal cords or something because I didn't hear a thing."

"Where were you anyways?" Brandon asked frowning. "And how come you didn't answer your phone? And where's your gun?"

"It all got soaked when I fell through that hole," I said gesturing back at the living room. "Fucking snakes and shit in there and everything. Couldn't see jack all."

Brandon narrowed his eyes, stepping forward and then wiped at the bloody bite on my cheek. "Your skin color is discoloring, either it's already infected or it was venomous. Were going to the hospital."

"Really? I didn't hear any rattle like sounds," I said frowning. Though it had been kind of an intense moment, snakes aren't necessarily what I'd been paying attention to, so I could've missed it. I paused, noticing how light headed I'd gotten, and a little nauseous too, but that could've been a side effect from the gross water I'd accidently swallowed downstairs.

"Time to go," Caleb said, all of us moving out of the house a breath later.

**-xxxxx-**

Once we dealt with the remainder of Gabriel's men, Caleb, Jace, and Adrian all left to interrogate them and I went to the hospital we finally got to return home. Thanks to my unlucky ass getting bit by a norther pacific rattlesnake, I got into emerge right away, especially after I passed out outside. Only Bella and Brandon helped me in, with a ridiculous story and the expense of the skeptical staff we gave fake names and got the hell out of there before the cops showed.

"Leah really said that?" even Brandon couldn't believe she'd blurted out that I actually kill her.

"Sounds like it was in the heat of the moment, I sincerely doubt she meant it," Bella said from the back seat.

"I agree, she doesn't understand what she even suggested. It doesn't work that way," David said, on Bella's left side.

I rubbed my face tiredly, "yeah, I don't know, I'm not going to do that though."

"Of course not, if you accidently slip up and take things too far, that's it, no more Leah, and the last thing we need is a broken hearted murderer running around," Bella said in a stern voice. She seemed like the same Bella, only there was a slight tone change, only calmer, kind of crisp and dismissive. Her eyes had been open and she seemed to be looking at things differently. It was interesting to watch from this side of the table.

Before I could respond one of my spare cell phones rang, we kept extras in each car. I stared at the name, the call was coming from Sam's place. "What?" I asked, not bothering with friendliness. I really didn't want to deal with this bullshit right now.

"Come to my place, now," he said, clear anger in his voice.

"Wait- how did you get this number?" I asked in distaste.

"Leah gave it to me, obviously," I imagined reaching through the phone and breaking his nose. I'd given Leah the number to all of my spare phones in my paranoia, he must've called each of them til he got the right one. "You need to come here, right now."

"I don't know, it's a little bit past my bedtime," I said smirking openly.

"I know about the imprint, now either get here or I have you arrested for assaulting Seth," I hung up the phone, not bothering with the rest of his bitching.

"What's going on?" Brandon asked when he saw my scowl.

"The pack knows about the imprint. What shitty timing," I said sighing, "anyone got anything to drink?" I'd been ordered not to drink buy my doctor but I got the feeling it would be a long night.

"Should we come?" David asked warily, I shook my head, "what if a fight breaks out?" My cell phone vibrated and I looked down to see Caleb had texted me that he'd meet me at Sam's.

"No, Caleb will be there too," I said grinning now. I could just imagine how angry Sam had been with him. Then my face fell, "Oh god, Leah probably knows I threatened Seth. _Fuck_."

Bella laughed, "oh your screwed."

"She's not going to take that well, she seems to be as temperamental as you," Brandon said in agreement. They laughed at my panicked expression now, and I just glared at them.

Now that I thought about it I could feel her from here, Leah is completely and utterly pissed off with me. As if she wasn't already mad at me, she's always mad at me. I was like the worlds shitiest girlfriend.

_Fuck. _

**-xxxxx-**

_Try to lie but it ain't me, ain't me, try to look but I can't see, _

_Can't stop right now cause I'm too far and I can't keep goin' cause it's too hard, _

_In the day in the night it's the same thing, on the field on the block it's the same game, _

_On the real if you stop then it's no pain but if you can't feel pain then it's no gain, _

_Rearrange and you change and it's all bad and you try to maintain but you fall back, _

_And you crawl and you slip and you slide down, wanna make it to the top better start now, _

_So I hold my soul and I die hard, all alone in the night in the graveyard, _

_Someday one day I'm gonna be free and they won't try to kill me for being me _

**-xxxxx-**

I got to the Uley house, noting all the lights were on and waved everyone good bye, smirk in place as I went into the house. The first thing that happened was Leah rushing me and punching me hard in the cheek and then slamming me against the now closed door. "Why did you threaten Seth?"

I grinned, eyes going around the room as everyone stared at me angrily. Though Caleb just looked annoyed with Sam who was glaring daggers at the both of us. I gave her an honest answer, "It seemed necessary at the time."

She hit me again, this time on the right side of my face and my head snapped back into the wall, bouncing off of it. I narrowed my eyes at her, "Jesus Leah! Would you quit hitting me?"

She glared furiously, grabbing me by the front of my shirt and shoved me in front of Seth who just sat there wide eyed and kind of freaked out. I gave her a questioning look, "apologize!"

"I don't apologize unless I mean it," I said in a cool tone. I glanced back down at Seth who looked nervous as hell under my gaze. "I'm not going to apologize to you Seth. I'm sure you can understand where I came from in warning you."

"Don't expect him to come to your rescue. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't be putting hands on you," Sam said coldly.

I laughed darkly, "I kicked your ass once already, but by all means Samantha, put hands on me, see how far you get. They'll be finding your remains all over La Push for days."

Everyone glared even more, Sam turned to Leah, I tried not to lash out at the tone he had with her, "why didn't you tell us you imprinted?"

"Because it was none of your fucking business!" she shouted at him, still pretty enraged. Caleb met my eyes, giving me a half hearted shrug as if to say, 'cat's out of the bag now'.

"Why have you two been so angry with each other then?" Emily cut in, standing between Leah and Sam before they started throwing punches. Everyone tensed when Emily did so, because Sam and Leah were still standing in the same spot death glaring each other. It was only a matter of time before one of them wolfed out.

"Emily, sit down," Sam said not taking his eyes off of her. His tone caught us off guard and Emily got a hurt expression.

"Don't be an asshole to her Sam," Leah said in a clipped tone, "she didn't do anything wrong."

"Really? I didn't see you roll out the welcome wagon when she moved in," he shot back.

I snickered a little, great now these two were going to fight it out, next it would be Emily and I. Sam continued, "you've treated Emily like crap even after you found out about the imprint, acted like a jealous ex for months, if Kira hadn't shown up you'd still be acting petty and childish."

"Oh cause you treat Kira so fucking well?" she retorted, "you look at her as though she's something that needs to be put in a cage or locked up. We can all see how much you hate her in your thoughts. Caleb warned you stay the fuck away from her already, should I be saying the same thing all mighty pack leader?" ending her shout with sarcasm. Everyone glanced at me as if i would take this to the heart, i just grinned deviously. Good, i wanted people to hate me, it left the door open for some fighting.

"How much do you even know about her? And your imprints a bitch," he said simply, then added in the same voice, "its not like she doesnt deserve it." Big mistake. Leah didn't like that much, she moved in a blur, tackling him and hitting him hard. I rushed forward, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her away from him. She kicked him in the ribs once and I smiled to myself, keeping her in my arms.

"Calm down," I whispered into her ear as she struggled in my arms. She continued to stare at Sam angrily, who was being helped up by Emily. I'd broken them up before even had the chance to retaliate. Though that was the idea, Sam might end up dead if he hurt Leah and not because she'd kill him, but because I would. Then Emily would be a mess and the pack would go on a witch hunt and we'd all be a mess. Look at me, saving lives already.

"Leah that's enough," Jake shouted at her and I loosened my hold on her slightly and then squeezed her a little. She relaxed and I noticed the rest of the pack watching us in an almost fascinated manner. I guess they didn't witness things like this too often. I almost half expected Leah to wolf out on me, but I recalled her mentioning why she didn't want to. I'd told her to wolf out if I was attacking her, and I wasn't, if that made sense for why she hadn't shifted forms yet.

"Do Wade and mom know?" Seth asked finally, the room awkward and edgy.

I released Leah who was watching me thoughtfully now, who sat down on the arm chair a moment later and I leaned against the wall. "No, nobody except Caleb knew," Leah said quietly, and everyone glanced over at Caleb, an indifferent look on his face.

"I don't care what these two do in bed as long as I don't have to clean up the mess," it was a pointed message at me, and we were talking my being a mental and emotional mess or a dead body. Everybody else thought he meant having to smooth things over with everyone else, truth was we didn't really care, we just didn't like the hassle.

"How come none of you said anything? This is great! Congratulations!" Quil finally said, and when we all turned to stare at him incredulously he went bright red. "Not congratulations?"

"Not congratulations," Leah and I said simultaneously.

"What's the problem?" Emily asked perplexed, "you two seem like a good match." _Yeah. Right. I'm sure._ Pair the angry werewolf up with a murdering psychopath, _the 'higher powers that be'' had great match making skills_.

"Are we all forgetting the fact that were both girls and our parents happen to be married?" Leah said in frustration.

Everyone silently considered this and I just lit a cigarette and went through my texts. Bella and Brandon both wanted to know what happened. I didn't bother sending out any messages.

"We should tell your parents, and we've been meaning to tell Wade for a while," Paul suggested logically.

"Like that will go well, my father is as hot-headed as you are," I said rolling my eyes.

"Why don't we just-," I cut off Jared. I was done with this conversation, Leah and I certainly agreed on one thing. Our imprint wasn't Sam's business anymore then it was the rest of the worlds.

In a very cold voice I said, "that's enough, this isn't a friendly meeting where we discuss Leah's or my love life. How we go about this is our decision and we have yet to decide what we even want in the long run. Everyone just stay out of it, am I making myself clear?" everyone stared at me in surprise.

"Were just trying to help," Jake said scowling at me.

"Who asked for your help in the first place? Cause it certainly wasn't Leah or me, now back off," I said moving to leave the house.

"Kira wait! Something else has come up, the Cullen's have called a meeting tonight at midnight," Jake said at I'd opened the door.

I frowned, checking the clock, it was quarter to. "Of course they did, alright, let's go then."

Christ I haven't even gotten to shower or change yet, I was exhausted and I could feel the anti-venom moving through my system and burning away at the poison. It was like this all the time, we never got sick anymore, so we never bothered with shots or medication. Most of the time it just felt wrong and off putting, you'd think drugs would be the same but they really weren't.

"What happened to you?" Seth asked once I closed the door. "To your cheek? And it sounds like you have a shortened breath or something."

"And you smell weird," Quil added.

I gave them all a death stare and they quieted, "I fell and got bit by a snake."

"You fell?" Leah repeated, standing up and crossing the room, she brushed the hair from my face, inhaling deeply. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion and then she started to pull off the bandage over my face. She didn't seem to believe it was a snake bite under the bandage, I'd let her check it later if she insisted.

I gripped her hands before she removed it, I knew it would just worry her more, she was upset enough. "Leave it be, I'll be fine, I already saw a doctor," I held her hands in mine before releasing them and sighed.

"Would you like to shower?" Emily asked, the first to have spoken after watching us. I didn't understand what was so fascinating. I'm Leah's imprint, big deal, what difference does it make.

"We don't have time, the Cullen's insisted we bring her along, let's go," Sam left the house and I made a face at his back. Leah laughed a little, grabbing my hand and tugging me outside.

"Do you want to ride me?" she asked curiously. My mind went to a very dirty place, but based on the look on her face i figured i shouldn't say anything to embarrass her more so i went a different route.

"Do we have a saddle?" I asked seriously. She smiled, shaking her head, apparently her worry for me canceled out her frustration from earlier. I got the feeling I'd get an earful later though.

**-xxxxx-**

I sat down on the grass, everyone stood tensely as the Cullen's appeared and Bella smiled at me when she saw Caleb and I. Caleb who kept sniffing me and scrunching up his face. "Just because you keep smelling me does not mean the smell is going to go away," I reached over and flicked his nose, he glared at me.

"Hey," Bella said, sitting down next to me.

"Hey," I said amused, she had a slight smile on her lips, but it was different now. It was like you could tell she was hiding a deadly secret. She walked more confidently too, as much as the rest of us. As if to say 'fuck the world' or 'piss me off at your own risk'. She had this new demeanor, like she was ready to take on anything and everyone who got in her way. Before she'd been determined to protect everyone, but now it was like she knew she could and that she wouldn't hesitate to use any means necessary to succeed. Her eyes told another story, thinly concealed violence and they shined with darkness. She was just like us now.

"What?" she asked, eyebrows raised as she noticed my staring.

I smirked, "nothing."

"Carlisle," Sam greeted.

"Sam, we've recently discovered that several Volturi member maybe in the area," I could just feel the annoyance that came from Caleb, Bella and I. Little late to the game.

"That's it?" my voice cut in, "you made us come all the way out here just to tell us that? It's called a phone dude, I know your a few centuries older but it's not that complicated."

"There's one other thing," Edward said, frowning at my outburst, then glanced at the psychic vampire, Alice. There's always something else. Can't have a normal week could I?

"Of course there is," I muttered and let myself fall back into the grass.

Alice spoke next, and I could feel the ripple of wariness that came from the Cullen's, even Bella looked unsure now. "I never gets clear visions of Kira for two reasons, because her future is completely undecided by her and because of the pack. But earlier this evening the vision I got seemed crystal clear, which means it's probaly going to come true," she hesitated.

"I saw Kira as a vampire." To say everyone went nuts was an understatement.

**-xxxxx-**

_If you know how this is, gonna see it's not that easy, _

_Don't stop get it till it's done, from where you are or have begun, _

_I said keep on try a little harder to see everything you need to be,_

_Believe in your dreams, that you see when you're asleep. _

_Someday we gonna rise up on that wind you know, _

_Someday we gonna dance with those lions,_

_Someday we gonna break free from these chains and keep on flyin' _


End file.
